Pirates Vs Fairies
2nd Edition Published by Xax Studios 2013
? Zac Thraves 2011
Please respect the copyright of the author. All characters and situations are the property of the author and cannot be copied in any form without the correct permissions.
For Alicia & Lucas
If you look out of your window you will see a very special tree; I know you will because I know that what you see from your eyes is very special indeed.
I would like to ask you to go to your window, open the curtains and try to see if you can spot this unique and wonderful old hunk of trunk but chances are you are in bed, tucked up, warm and safe from all of life's little monsters. It's also very likely that it is dark outside; which is lovely, because if you were allowed to go and see this tree then you will see a sprinkle of dazzling twinkling lights. But you can't, you are in bed reading this story, so you'll just have to believe me that this tree lives outside your house, and that it is magical.
I say magical, but not in a way you might think; it can't make a handkerchief disappear or pull a rabbit out of a top-hat, I'm not sure of any trees that can do that; no, it is magical because inside its hollow floats a world unlike yours or mine; a world of fantastic heroes; frantic villains and fruitful adventures; a world where anything can happen and usually does.
So open your mind, sift through the wonder of your imagination and I'm sure you'll see and believe.
Uneasy peace has fallen across the world.
After years of fighting between fairies, pirates and dinosaurs, a curtain has fallen over the eternal war and each race has limped away to lick its wounds.
Now, under the terrible rule of Fairy King Tobias a new rebellion has occurred. The queen has fled her husband, taking with her a band of fairies who share her same belief: that everyone can live in peace together.
But her son and the young heir to the throne has suddenly gone missing.
Capden Den, pirate and rogue, hearing the news of this and needing to pay his debts to his arch-rival Dodgy Dave, goes in search of the fairy prince in order to collect the King's reward and free his crew from the debt that has befallen them?
The beginning
Bang! The heavy iron door to the cellar of the fairy palace slammed shut. The young fairy prince pulled his hand away just in time as the gap between door and wall almost caught his fingers.
He looked out at the empty street ahead of him, imagining his father's people all sleeping soundly in their beds. Above him, the moon cast a soft glow onto the cobbled road that led out of the kingdom.
The prince breathed in deeply, taking in the cold air of the night. His heart thumped angrily in his chest and he shook with nervousness, but there was no way now he was going back. His mother had fled and now all he could think of was getting to her. The king, her husband, was not his real father, and he felt no love towards the man whom he would eventually succeed to become king. But this fairy prince, even at the tiny fairy age of twelve, had far better ideas about how to treat others than his step-father would ever have.
The prince wiped a line of sweat from his forehead and gripped at his wand, a small beam of light appeared from the end of the glittering silver tip and he used the light to tread carefully out of the lumpy grassy bank and into the road. He took one final glance at the giant fairy palace that hung over him, silhouetted in the moonlight, casting a monstrous shadow over his face; then he grinned and ran as fast as he could away from the kingdom and away to the port.
As the sun rose over the rotting rooftops of Pirate Bay, Capden Den, dashing pirate captain of the Anna Stesia, found himself once again in a duel to the death. In front of him, a pirate (he couldn't remember his name, Capden Den was terrible at names) was accusing the captain of trying to steal his bride-to-be. Unfortunately, he was trying to make his point by stabbing at the captain with his cutlass instead of talking it through.
Capden Den brushed aside each attack easily with his sword, all the time trying to get to the bottom of the matter.
"Look, we can talk about this." The captain pleaded.
The angry pirate sneered with manic eyes and black spit foamed around his gnarling teeth.
"I loved her and you took her!" he screamed.
"I didn't take anyone!" Capden Den yelled. "I don't even know who you are!"
This seemed to rile the little pirate even more. He swung aimlessly at the captain, using all his might to put some power behind his sword. But the captain blocked each attack without breaking into a sweat.
"Ok. Tell me, what's your wife's name?"
"She's not my wife!" screamed the little pirate.
"Then what's your problem?"
As they fought, a young pirate on a wooden bicycle rushed past dropping a newspaper between the duelling pirates. This stopped them momentarily and Capden Den glanced down to read the headline. Then he gasped.
He held up his hand to indicate to the little pirate to stop attacking him for a second, then bent down to gather the newspaper up. He flicked it open and took in the front page.
"Fairy prince missing. Huge reward for his return."
Capden Den whistled.
"What about me!" The little pirate roared to Capden Den.
"Oh, yeah right." Capden Den smiled. He took his sword and with one swift flick of his wrist he swung at the pirate's trousers, sending them falling to floor, revealing dirty, brown underpants.
Capden Den looked at this little pirate pitifully.
"Perhaps that's why she won't marry you." He said then clapped the pirate on the back.
"You'll make a good pirate one day, but not today."
Then Capden Den turned away and started to walk purposefully towards the dock where his ship was waiting for him; leaving the little pirate standing with embarrassment in the middle of the square.
Chapter One of?
Across the sea from Pirate Bay, underneath the dominating shadow of Grouch Mountain, the Fairy Kingdom was waking to another day.
The vast royal palace stood grandly at the centre, overseeing all of the houses, shops and libraries that bowed meekly before it. The palace had in its middle turret a window that resembled an eye, which seemed to move as the sun caught it throughout the day. The palace, together with its watching eye, was oppressive and angry; just like the ruling fairy that dwelt within the palace walls.
Fairy King Tobias was an evil fairy; small and full to the brim with anger. He bullied his subjects daily and anyone who complained was severely dealt with; over the years some had even had their magic abilities stripped from them as punishment.
Such was the sorry state of the fairy kingdom under the current rule of Fairy King Tobias. He ruled with an iron fist, which he clasped tightly around his iron wand and waved threateningly at anyone who dared to question him. No one ever did and no one, ever, ever, was allowed to leave the shadow cast by his wicked rule.
It was on this morning that the kingdom heard an almighty roar coming from the tower, a bellow that bounced around the walls of the narrow streets below. The roar was raging; painful; uncontrollable and it fell out of the thick, white beard of King Tobias. When he shouted, which was often; or laughed, which was seldom; his large white whiskers blew in the gale of his breath.
"Send for Falkirk!" Came the cry from his billowing whiskers and all the courtiers and servants within the palace rushed off, in the vain hope of being the first who could appease the king.
Wise Old Fairy Falkirk was nowhere to be seen. Being old he was of the opinion that no one or nothing was more important than him. He had seen kings and queens come and go, some good, some not so, some very special indeed.
So while Tobias yelled at his subjects day after day, Falkirk had decided to slip away unnoticed t
o his private space, a peaceful cave within the safety of Grouch Mountain. There he could look out at the ocean and watch pirate ships drift by; stare at the flying fish catching their birds for breakfast, or hear the gentle rumble that came from the dinosaurs on the Third Island of Solitude far over across the sea. He would sit on his mossy stone and stare at the beauty of this land; meditating, listening to the wind and watching the sun's soft elegance or the moon's creamy dull fantasy. He brooded on his life and disappeared into his perfect world of knowledge and peace.
However, his meditation was broken by the bitter anger he heard from the kingdom far below. Falkirk waited for, just as he thought, an hour after the last bark was heard; he could hear the faint beating of wings coming towards him. He knew from the wings ferocious and clumsy whip that it was Chancellor Osborne; the king's closest and most trusted ally.
"Fairy Falkirk?" Osborne panted as he neared the cross-legged figure of the wise fairy.
"Fairy Falkirk!" Osborne repeated, louder and with more purpose.
Falkirk slowly turned to look at the small squinting eyes of this wicked fairy and then put his finger over his lips and told him to "shshsh".
Osborne's narrow eyes filled with hatred and he was about to deliver some very hurtful words towards Falkirk before he remembered, that Falkirk had been sent for by the king and must be delivered in one piece.
Osborne set his feet to the ground and stood over the calm and seated figure of Falkirk, his wings beat impatiently as he paced behind the sedate fairy.
"The king requires your attention." Osborne spat.
Falkirk did not move but spoke dreamily as he continued to gaze out at the sea.
"I feel the sun within my soul, the moon within my heart and the dunes of?"
"Did you hear me Falkirk?" Osborne cut in.
"I feel the dunes of Hippo Lagoon," Falkirk continued. "And the wise old Hippos' tune."
"Old fairy, don't mock me," Osborne snapped. "The king demands?"
Suddenly Falkirk's wings whipped frantically and he leapt up onto his feet then bent forward, glaring at this tiny little fairy slave to the king.
"Demands!" he cried. "Demands, does he?"
"Yes!" Osborne reacted angrily and the opposing fairies met eye to eye.
Falkirk then began to laugh mockingly. "Oh Osborne, you are a slimy little worm, do you not see?"
"What, the sun and the moon and dunes and lagoons?"
"Oh no," continued Falkirk. "I know you can't see any of that. No, do you not see the power in asking rather than ordering?"
Osborne stood for a moment face to face with this awkwardly intelligent fairy.
"I do see Falkirk; I'm not a bad fairy." He sighed.
"No." Falkirk smiled as he calmly returned to his perch with its comfortable moss mat. "You are a power hungry pixie with too much authority and not enough concern for ordinary fairies. You're not bad Osborne, you're terrible."
"Fine!" Osborne cracked the air with his voice and spoke with sarcastic venom. "The king may have ordered your presence, but I'm asking you, pretty please, come with me."
Osborne breathed heavily as Falkirk got up again and nodded.
"Of course," Falkirk smiled with the satisfaction someone old gets when they teach the younger ones a lesson. "You only had to ask".
Chapter Two of?
Captain Dennis, or Capden Den as everyone knew him, burped loudly into the warm night air. He winced as the grotesque smell that issued from his mouth wafted up his nose. He stood alone in the calming breeze, behind the wheel of his great pirate ship Anna Stesia, and sipped as he steered from a flagon of fizzy cola. With each slurping sip he burped and with each burp the sleeping crew on the deck stirred, before falling back into their deep midnight slumber.
Capden Den looked up at the full moon glowing in the night sky like a brilliant white hot air balloon. He took another sip, burped again and the sails of his ship opened up, as if the stale smell coming from within his tummy was guiding the ship somehow.
The heavy canvas sails billowed like plumped pillows in the wind. They shone a silvery white, wonderfully reflecting the stark light of the moon. The water caressed the sides of the large boat in the calm sea, tinkling as it sprayed over the thick wooden hull.
Capden Den preferred this time, for him being alone at the helm of his galleon made him feel at ease with himself; he would look out at the stars ahead of him and let his mind drift to wondering what was out there, where he could go, what he could find; the true life of a wandering pirate, while he contemplated and stroked his unkempt, salty beard that hung like a fox's tail from his chin.
The deck of the Anna Stesia was quiet; its crew fast asleep and snoring into the night.
Suddenly, far ahead of him, Capden Den saw a black silhouette in the dark blue of the sea; he took his spyglass that hung from his large tanned leather belt and, pulling it open, closed one eye to take a peek.
There, ahead of him, was a boat; a small rowing boat drifting aimlessly on the waves.
"Oh Blimey." Fairies!" Den burped excitedly as he instinctively steered the ship towards the tiny spot on the sea.
Capden Den rung the heavy brass bell next to him and his crew instantly began to wake.
"Come on men, we've found some fairies!" The captain roared.
Everyone's eyes flew open with fear and curiosity. Fairies could not be trusted and every pirate had heard the wicked tales of fairies doing horrible things to pirates in order to get information out of them. One of the worst stories was when the most feared pirate in history was captured by fairies and ordered to wash his hair in soap; his reputation was in tatters after that and he now sits alone, and painfully clean, in his galleon at the dry-dock.
Bosun Bill, Capden Den's trusted old friend, waddled up beside his captain rubbing his eyes awake.
"Is it him captain?" Bill asked, still hoarse from his disrupted sleep.
"Could be." Capden Den clapped. "But there's two of 'em."
"Bit easy wasn't it? We only found out this morning." Bill questioned.
"I know!" The captain laughed. "This is going to pay off Dodgy Dave and the Port Authority. Let's get 'em on board." He sneered hungrily.
Sheltered within this rowing boat, far across the ocean from the looming pirate galleon, slept a pair of fairies; entwined in each other's arms amongst the ropes that acted as a mattress. They slept peacefully, as the tide of the sea gently rocked their dreams.
A dark shadow fell across their blissful faces as the Anna Stesia towered over them and gently bumped wood to wood. The two boats met and kissed each other as if they were old friends reunited after a long time apart.
Shouts from way up on the deck of the galleon floated into the breeze but the two fairies did not wake. They remained motionless as their small boat was hoisted up out of the sea and brought down with a bump onto the deck of the Anna Stesia.
Within the privacy of his cabin, Capden Den lit an oil lamp and watched his two young passengers sleeping. It seemed none of the pirates could wake them. In the hour it had taken to lift their boat out of the water they had tried everything; even Capden Den singing, something that usually sent a shiver down the spine of his crew could not wake them. Nothing, it seemed, could prise them apart.
As they remained tied firmly together in each others arms, Capden Den ordered his men to leave, promising he wouldn't sing again but burped while he spoke, sending a whiff of stale breath towards his men and sending them away, clasping at their nostrils in disgust.
Capden Den paced around his room, fiddling nervously with the frilly and filthy neck of his stained shirt. He was impatient for answers; he wanted them to explain to him how they slept so soundly, because he certainly couldn't sleep as well as that; but most importantly, he wanted to know why these two regal looking fairies were floating on a boat deep within pirate territory.
Chapter Three of?
Capden Den sighed impatiently. He had been watching these two fairies sleep for at least two
hours now and, as the black of night began to fade into the purple glow of the morning through his slatted windows, the captain was getting a little fed up.
Capden Den noisily went over to his desk and loudly tugged open a draw. Inside he found a paper bag; opening it with as much racket as possible he pulled out a nut and immediately put it into his mouth, crunching down noisily and chewing with his mouth open to give his actions more volume. Still the fairies slept.
Capden Den yawned, reached his arms up and issued a long cry from deep within his belly. He stretched out, his bones cracking as he did and breathed in so deeply that he fell into a raging fit of coughing that caused him to splutter. Finally he stopped and immediately stared at the two fairies; still they slept.
Yanking his desk draw open again he rummaged inside; pulling out gadgets and letting them drop onto the floor with a clatter. He banged the draw shut, then opened it again with such force that the whole draw fell out and landed on his toe with a thud. Capden Den yelped with pain and fell backwards onto a rack that held his swords together, sending them toppling. All Capden Den could do was stare wildly as all of the swords fell onto the hard wooden deck with an enormous clatter. As the swords collapsed so did the captain as he lost his balance and he fell onto his bottom, hitting his head on the wall of his ship. He screamed out in agony and then gazed at the two fairies; still they slept.
Capden Den sat where he was, defeated. As he reached over to the bag of nuts that lay on the floor next to him he let out a burp.
The stomach-churning stale smell flew into the air and drifted slowly over to the heavy breathing nostrils of the fairies. Suddenly they stirred, one eye opening after the other, and then they both shot bolt upright causing Capden Den to scream again in shock.
Capden Den hurried onto his feet.
"It's ok." He implored. "You're safe. You're in my boat, the Anna Stesia. It's a ship?pirate ship?it's mine?you're fairies?I'm a pirate and?can you understand me?"
The two fairies did not move; they sat rigid, watching this strange looking man behaving oddly in front of them.