LETTER LV
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MRS. JUDITH NORTONTHURSDAY, JUNE 29.
MY DEAR MRS. NORTON,
I address myself to you, after a very long silence, (which, however, wasnot owing either to want of love or duty,) principally to desire you tosatisfy me in two or three points, which it behoves me to know.
My father, and all the family, I am informed, are to be at my uncleHarlowe's this day, as usual. Pray acquaint me, if they have been there?And if they were cheerful on the anniversary occasion? And also, if youhave heard of any journey, or intended journey, of my brother, in companywith Captain Singleton and Mr. Solmes?
Strange things have happened to me, my dear, worthy and maternal friend--very strange things!--Mr. Lovelace has proved a very barbarous andungrateful man to me. But, God be praised, I have escaped from him.Being among absolute strangers (though I think worthy folks) I havewritten to Hannah Burton to come and be with me. If the good creaturefall in your way, pray encourage her to come to me. I always intendedto have her, she knows: but hoped to be in happier circumstances.
Say nothing to any of my friends that you have heard from me.
Pray, do you think my father would be prevailed upon, if I were tosupplicate him by letter, to take off the heavy curse he laid upon me atmy going from Harlowe-place? I can expect no other favour from him. Butthat being literally fulfilled as to my prospects in this life, I hope itwill be thought to have operated far enough; and my heart is so weak!--itis very weak!--But for my father's own sake--what should I say!--Indeed Ihardly know how I ought to express myself on this sad subject!--but itwill give ease to my mind to be released from it.
I am afraid my Poor, as I used to call the good creatures to whosenecessities I was wont to administer by your faithful hands, have missedme of late. But now, alas! I am poor myself. It is not the leastaggravation of my fault, nor of my regrets, that with such inclinationsas God has given me, I have put it our of my power to do the good I oncepleased myself to think I was born to do. It is a sad thing, my dearestMrs. Nortin, to render useless to ourselves and the world, by our ownrashness, the talents which Providence has intrusted to us, for theservice of both.
But these reflections are now too late; and perhaps I ought to have keptthem to myself. Let me, however, hope that you love me still. Pray letme hope that you do. And then, notwithstanding my misfortunes, whichhave made me seem ungrateful to the kind and truly maternal pains youhave taken with me from my cradle, I shall have the happiness to thinkthat there is one worthy person, who hates not
The unfortunateCLARISSA HARLOWE.
Pray remember me to my foster-brother. I hope he continues dutiful and good to you.Be pleased to direct for Rachel Clark, at Mr. Smith's, in King-street, Covent-garden. But keep the direction an absolute secret.