I knew I was being watched.
Not that I heard the intruder. No, it was more of a sensation: the tightening of my gut, a shiver that whispered over my body and raised the fine hairs on the back of my neck. It was a knowing.
While living in the compound, I would have dismissed the feeling. But now even the tiniest oddity yelled at me. And this, whatever it was, definitely screamed. I swallowed hard, my hands beginning to tremble as I racked my brain, trying to come up with a way out of the situation, preferably with my life still intact.
After only about thirty minutes of walking, exhaustion had forced me to stop at the river to get a drink and cool off. Once again I found myself cursing the fact that I had done nothing but sit those first two weeks. If only I’d accepted my fate immediately. If only I’d started training that first day.
The sun had almost set and the woods were an eerie gray in color, the birds loud as they chirped their good nights. Their songs and the gurgle of rushing water made it hard to hear. Will was right, I was an idiot. It was too much too soon for my weak body, and I knew too little to traipse out into the world on my own.
The only thing I could do was hope it was a deer, and if it wasn’t…flee.
But I didn’t run because I had a river in front of me, and the hill and whoever followed were behind. Another stupid move on my part. Instead, I cupped my trembling hands, dipped them into the clear stream, and sipped the cool water, waiting for the attack. My fingers itched to grab the dagger attached to my thigh, but I didn’t want to make a move too soon. Common sense told me a surprise attack was the best and only option.
A twig snapped, a shadowed reflection wavered against the water, next to the reflection of the moonlight. Too blurry to make out the details. How I wanted to be brave, but I couldn’t stop my heart from jumping into my throat. Not a deer, unfortunately. A man. Fear tasted bitter against my tongue. Not Will; he would have called out instead of sneaking up on me. I knew. I knew even before the soft scent whispered to me on the breeze. The scent of spring. A scent I knew too well. The scent of a beautiful one.
An odd calm washed over me. This was the moment I’d been waiting for, the moment when I would either win or lose. Kill or be killed. I had only a second to react. All in one motion, I snatched the dagger from its sheath on my thigh and spun around, shoving my arm forward.
The intruder hit my wrist. Pain radiated down to my hand. My fingers opened automatically and the dagger fell to the ground, lost in the brush and darkness. Desperate, I lifted my knee to the spot that was vulnerable on every man, whether human or a beautiful one. But before I got near, he grabbed my arm and flipped me.
For a brief moment I spun, staring up at the dark, skeletal branches above before landing with a thud to the ground. The wind knocked from my lungs, leaving me gasping for air. I didn’t have time to recuperate as suddenly he loomed over me.
As I lay there begging for breath, he knelt beside me. Moonlight hit his face, pure as the art work I’d seen in books. Beautiful. Stunning…if not for the scar.
“Thanatos,” I whispered, unsure if I should be relieved or terrified.
“Please, Thane.” He smiled mockingly. “It’s what my friends call me.”
My hands curled into the damp earth as I resisted the urge to swing at him. It would do no good. I was no match for him physically.
His gaze shifted from my face to my fingers and his smile fell. “You’re bleeding.”
“What?” Momentarily distracted, I didn’t understand until I felt the dampness on my hand. The wound I’d gotten in the corridors three days ago had broken open. I pressed my palm to my trousers, frowning. “How’d you know?”
He stepped back, putting distance between us. “I can smell it.”
My nerves flared, although I tried not to show it. He had tracked me like I was an animal. “Why are you here? Did you not want any witnesses when you murdered me, so Will would go on believing you’re human?”
He laughed as if it was the most ridiculous thing I’d said. “If I’d wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t have heard me coming.”
Shoving my hands into the dirt, I managed to sit up. The world around me spun. Gritting my teeth, I refused to allow the dizziness to overwhelm me. Damn my weak body. “So you’re saying you were loud on purpose?”
“Of course. I did the same only half an hour ago when I saw you in the forest. I didn’t want to frighten you.”
More mockery. I was sure of it. He didn’t care in the least if I was afraid. I glared up at him. He held out his hand. I ignored his offer and stood on my own even though I wasn’t quite sure if my legs would hold me. “I will fight back.”
His lips twitched. “And if I wanted you dead, you would be already.”
I shivered despite myself. If he didn’t want to murder me, then why was he here? “What do you want?”
Not that I expected the truth from his beautiful mouth. He looked so much like a blood drinker that I felt sick at the sight of him. Exactly like them but for the scar. It was all that separated him from the others, but it wasn’t enough to convince me.
“I want you to return to Will’s camp.”
And here I thought nothing could surprise me anymore. What was in it for him? I had no doubt he was getting something from this. Bemused, I moved to the fallen log where my bag and jacket rested. I didn’t trust Thanatos in the least. “Why do you care?”
“Because I saved your life and I don’t want all that work to have been for nothing.”
Honest, I’d give him that. But I wasn’t buying his reasoning. There was more. I’d bet my life on it. I slid my arms into my jacket, using the excuse to look away. So, he had carried me from that castle, I hadn’t imagined that. Kelly had been right when she’d said he’d saved me. It didn’t change my feelings—at least that’s what I told myself.
I stared at the dark waters, watching the way the river caught the moonlight, trying to understand this man. In about a week and a half they’d be feeding again. Would Thanatos save someone else? When I was sure I was going to die, he had risked his own life to help. It should have made me feel better, it didn’t. I slid him a glance from the corner of my eye. The blood drinker before me wouldn’t do something so self-sacrificing for nothing. I didn’t understand why he had risked his life for mine, but I knew there was something in it for him.
“Saved me?” I released a harsh laugh. “You left me in a field, in the elements, to freeze to death.”
He propped his shoulder against an oak which was leaning precariously over the creek. “Don’t be so dramatic. I knew they’d find you. They were out doing patrol as they do every hour at every camp.”
An hour? I was only out there for an hour? Where had I been the rest of the night and why couldn’t I remember?
“I left you there because I had to return as soon as possible.” He walked so very quietly, like the cats back at the compound when they stalked prey. It only reminded me of how powerful he was. Truth was he was right…if he wanted me dead, I would be. “I had to return to the castle before they realized I was missing.”
He settled on the fallen log where my bag rested only a few feet from me. I had the unsettling feeling he was trying to make me feel at ease by sitting there so relaxed, instead of looming. In fact, I had a feeling every single thing he did was on purpose. What he didn’t realize was I would never let my guard down again, and especially not near him. “So, you’re completely accepted by us? They welcome you with open arms and all that?”
“I actually have little contact with your group, other than with Will.”
It was dark, too dark to read his face. I wished I knew who this man was, what his true intentions might be. One thing was certain, I didn’t trust him and never would. “Why not?”
“I rarely go into the safe houses.” He smiled briefly, a flash of white teeth. I searched for those pointed canines I’d seen on the other beautiful ones the moment before they’d torn out Sally’s throat, but noticed nothing out of t
he ordinary. “It makes them nervous if I enter. Whenever I rescue someone, I leave the person outside where I know they’ll find him or her.”
I brushed the dirt and dead leaves from my trousers. So, I wasn’t the only one leery around him. It made me feel slightly better. “You’ve done this before?” I crossed my arms over my chest. Now that the sun had gone down, the air held a chill. Or maybe it was fear making me cold. “Rescued people?”
He looked directly at me. “Many times.”
I had to believe him, for why would he lie? Besides, Will had implied as much. But why would he risk his life for us? It was hard to know what he was thinking and what his intentions were; he guarded his emotions so closely. Whereas Will’s feelings shone in his eyes, with Thanatos I couldn’t see or sense anything. And that scared me more than I wanted to admit.
He claimed to be on our side, he had saved me, but he was a beautiful one and had let Sally die. How could I trust him? I looked toward the creek, watching the water churn and race down the hill, eating away at the rocky bank. My mind spun like the river, my thoughts as dark as the water.
“They want you in the group.” He rested his elbows on his knees. Although most of our clothing was worn and even torn, his was clean, not a patch. “You have potential. Your instincts are amazing. You’re smart, too smart. If you kept training, you would be a real asset.”
An asset? I didn’t want to be an asset. I’d been an asset at the compound too, watching the children while working together for the greater good. I just wanted…to be me for once. I picked up a stick, digging into the soft dirt. All I wanted to do was rescue my friends and family and get as far away from the beautiful ones as possible. But maybe I couldn’t. Maybe the beautiful ones were everywhere, and I’d never have the life I dreamt about back at the compound.
I realized that Thanatos was patiently awaiting my response and glanced up at him. “Am I supposed to be honored you think so highly of me?”
He shrugged, a movement that momentarily tightened his dark shirt across his broad shoulders. The material moved with him, stretching to his lean form. Not a bit of fat on his body. “Why would you? You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. I’d think my opinion would matter very little. But it’s obvious you trust Will, you respect him.”
I tossed the stick into the river, and watched it float away, wondering where it would end up. If only I had a boat like the one’s I’d read about in my books, perhaps I could float away from all of this. “Maybe I don’t want to train to fight them. Maybe I just want to get as far away from your people as I can.”
“You think we have one base?” he said, almost as if he felt sorry for me. “Jane, that was only one city of many. All around this country, in fact, this world, there are cities full of beautiful ones. They took over long ago.”
Startled, I glanced at him. He was serious. I focused on my bag, weighing my options. So there were more; many of them if Thanatos’ implication was true. I could grab my bag and run. Or…
Slowly, I reached for my bag, drawing it closer. My plan wouldn’t be something as simple as breaking into the compounds and releasing my friends and family. No matter where we went, we would be tracked, hunted, killed.
We were silent for a long minute. If it wasn’t for the breeze rustling his overly long hair, I would have thought him a statue. A beautiful, if slightly flawed statue. What was he thinking? Did he enjoy the fact that he had the upper hand? Did he enjoy my fear as the other beautiful ones seemed to? I looked away, studying the dark shadows in the woods. Were there more out there even now, watching, waiting?
“And humans?” I asked. “How many are there?”
“Many more than beautiful ones.” He leaned down and reached into the brush, picking up my dagger when I’d thought it had been lost for good. “You might outnumber them, but your people are kept in compounds; they don’t know how to fight.”
Annoyed, I snatched the dagger from his hand. “I learned.”
“Learned what?” He laughed. “Do you think you could truly fight a beautiful one and come out the winner?”
“I killed one,” I hissed, sliding the dagger into the sheath at my thigh.
“Did you? Or was it mere luck?”
I clenched my teeth, refusing to reply. No doubt Will had told him the truth about how I had killed the beautiful one. An embarrassed flush burned my cheeks. I felt betrayed in some way, although I wasn’t sure why. Had they laughed at me, mocked me? The silly girl who actually thought she could survive on her own. Will’s men had made it no secret that they thought I was worthless. And a few of the women at camp had been sending me glares, making me wonder if they were jealous of the time Will spent with me. Or maybe they thought I was holding them back as well. Just yesterday a brown-haired mouse of a woman had accused me of taking too much food when I’d barely eaten my share.
“Why did you pick me?” I whispered so low a normal human wouldn’t have heard. But he wasn’t human.
“I didn’t pick you.”
I parted my lips to argue, but when I thought back to that day I realized he had actually tried to avoid me. Bacchus had insisted I go to the castle. By not picking me, had Thanatos actually been trying to save me? I flushed, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the idea. He owed me nothing; we didn’t know each other, weren’t related, yet he’d saved me, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know why.
“Bacchus…”
“I tried to keep him away from you, but your scent was too strong.”
I slid him a glance under my lashes. “And my blood smells ready to you?”
He smiled again, knowing I was embarrassed by the question. “You have a complex scent. You and your siblings. It’s hard to tell if you’re ready or not.” He shrugged. “It’s been known to happen with a few.”
I frowned, uneasy. “You know I have siblings?”
“Yes, we can smell the similarities in the blood.”
Great. If he knew, he could use that against me. I pushed aside my fear, not daring to go down that dark road when I had so much to accomplish. I needed to learn as much as possible, and truth was Thanatos seemed to be willing to divulge when others hadn’t. “And you said we are complex?”
“Your scent is almost…hidden.” He paused, staring up at the dark sky as if trying to remember, or understand. “But for some reason it was stronger that day.”
I frowned, wondering why, and then it hit me. He could smell wounds, and blood. “I cut myself on a thorn. It was bleeding but I’d covered it with my sleeve.”
He nodded. “Most likely the reason.”
One tiny scratch and he’d been able to smell the blood. The realization was disconcerting to say the least. I glanced toward the trees. If there were beautiful ones in those woods, would they be able to smell the blood on my hand even now? Thane certainly had.
“Why did you leave the group?” he asked.
I snapped my gaze back toward him. “Why do you have the scar?” I hadn’t meant to ask, but with him staring at me it was the first thing that came to mind. Besides, I’d rather not answer his question. I wasn’t about to admit my plan to help the others escape.
He didn’t seem offended, his gaze as unreadable as always. “It’s a marking so they know who I am.”
“They?”
“The beautiful ones.”
He said beautiful ones as if he wasn’t one of them, as if he didn’t pick us for slaughter every Sunday of every month. As if he didn’t feed off blood. “Who are you?”
“A dhampir.”
I frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”
“My mother was vampire, my father human.”
I surged to my feet, stunned. Surely he didn’t mean it. They couldn’t, not with humans…could they? “No.”
He merely stood there, finding my shock amusing. Yet, as I studied his face it was obvious he was completely serious. He was half-human? For some reason it made his actions even worse. He was half-human yet he’d let th
em murder us for years. Why hadn’t he escaped? Why hadn’t he joined Will? Why did he continue to let them destroy innocents?
My hands curled as I resisted the urge to scream at him. Getting angry wouldn’t give me answers. And I needed answers so badly. “And the scar?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and gazed out over the river, completely unconcerned. “We look exactly like the beautiful ones, so when we are born they mark us to know the difference. We don’t heal as well as they do. We scar.”
They took a knife to a baby’s face? I felt utterly ill. They were worse than I had imagined. I pushed aside the images of bloody children, knowing I couldn’t let my compassion get in the way. “So, they don’t treat you the same?”
He laughed, a harsh sound. “No. We are servants to them. Just as some of your people are.”
“Those who are lucky.”
“No,” he snapped, surprising me with his harsh tone. “Not lucky. Far from it. In fact, they have it worse. Imagine working in fear for weeks, months, years, knowing at any moment you could be killed.”
I hadn’t thought about it that way. At least we had lived in ignorant bliss for most of our lives. “And you picked the ripe ones for them to feed upon…that’s your job?”
He nodded slowly, watching me. I knew he was waiting for the judgment. I wanted to feel sorry for him, I wanted to feel something. Even anger would have been welcome. But all I felt was guilt. Guilt that I had survived and Sally hadn’t. Guilt that I still lived, while she had suffered. Guilt that my sister and brothers and everyone I’d ever known were merely awaiting death. And I could only blame him. He had forced me to abandon Sally.
“You left them,” I whispered. “All of them. You let Sally die.”
“I had to, Jane. Will is right, I can’t save them all. If I tried, I’d be caught and killed as well. And then there would be no one to help. No one on the inside.”
But I wasn’t going to accept his easy answer. “How could you? How can you go there day after day and pretend not to hear the screams? Pretend not to see the torture?”
“I hear them,” he snapped, his eyes flashing. “I hear them every time I try to sleep. I see the blood every time I close my eyes. But there’s not a damn thing I can do.”
My mind spun, a myriad of emotions fighting for dominance. I didn’t want to feel sorry for him, I couldn’t. Surely there was something…anything…
“I can’t save them all,” he insisted, as if reading my mind. “I can only save a few every so often. It’s better than none.”
Was he looking for reassurance? I wasn’t sure I could give him any. “Why did you save me? Why me?”
He studied me carefully, so fully that I felt a blush rise up into my cheeks, but I didn’t dare look away. I needed answers. “There are two kinds of people in this world, Jane. The ones who are content and believe everything they’re told, questioning nothing.”
I wasn’t sure where he was going, but I’d play along. “And the other kind of person?”
“The other kind are those few who need to uncover as much as they can. Those who question everything, who know there is more to life than what they see before them.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
The darker it became, the more his eyes seemed to glow like a cat’s. “I picked you because you wanted more. It’s how I choose everyone I save.”
I shook my head and surged to my feet. “You couldn’t know that. How?” I stepped closer, angry at him for bringing me into this world, angrier still that he was making me out to be someone I wasn’t. How dare he act as if he knew me. He didn’t know anything about me. “How did you know I would belong here? Because I certainly don’t know if I do.”
He stood and stepped close, so close I could feel his heat. So close that his scent swirled around me, warming my insides. So close that instinctively I wanted to step back, but I forced myself to hold my ground.
“I knew, Jane, because you took the bait. You took the books.”