You planned this, she accused. You did this to me.
You gave me no choice. I will never see you put yourself in such a dangerous position again.
You had no right.
I have every right. Not only is it my right, it is my duty to see to your protection.
She couldn't even scream in frustration, not with her throat so raw. She could only push at the wall of his chest, rejecting him physically while trying to oust him out of her mind. He wouldn't go. In fact, his arms tightened and he seemed to surround her, not so much with his body, although she could feel him close, but with his strength and power.
She was too weak to fight him. The next wave came, overtaking her before she was ready, the convulsions almost tearing her body out of his arms, but he held her safe from slamming to the floor. She didn't want to be safe. She wanted to be alone.
Leave me, Andre. God. Why wouldn't he just go?
When the pain eased enough for her to catch her breath, she looked up at his face. There was blood tracking down it. Drops of blood leaking from his eyes. She felt one splash on her sternum and run down the slope of her breast.
For the first time, she caught him looking upset. Not just upset. Devastated. The moment he realized her gaze was on his face, his features settled into a carved, stone mask.
You didn't know.
He bent over her, just for a moment and she caught the sorrow, not in his eyes, but in his mind.
I should have researched before I subjected you to this. Not knowing is no excuse.
Not knowing wasn't an excuse, but it was something. She could see he was holding himself together to try to help her get through. She even realized he was shouldering as much of the pain as possible.
The next wave was worse than the last one, jerking her body until it was stiff, contorting it and then slamming it toward the floor of the cave. Andre was there, cushioning her, surrounding her with his presence. She could hear him, far off, speaking in his language, his voice like velvet and silk.
Sleep now, Teagan. I will hold you close.
She'd asked for that, Andre holding her close. At first she'd wanted to just move away from him; now nothing mattered but escape. The blowtorch in her stomach was still there, but the intensity wasn't the same.
Let go for me. Sleep now.
The command was stronger. She actually felt the "push" behind his sensual voice. Teagan obeyed him and let herself fall under whatever spell he'd conceived in order to stop her suffering.
14
Teagan became aware of a breeze first. Cooling. On her body. Her naked body. Next she became aware of Andre wrapped around her. Holding her tight against him. His arm was draped around her waist and his thigh was between hers. She lay still, trying to figure out if she'd had a terrible nightmare--which was understandable after the horrific memories from his childhood Andre had shown her. She'd also had an encounter with an honest to God vampire. That would give anyone nightmares.
She took stock of her surroundings. Yep. Still in the cave. She could see though--see as well as if it was broad daylight--and she was in a cave. She'd been able to see a bit before, enough that it worried her, but this was incredible. Someone might as well have turned the lights on. It should have been a good thing because it was very cool, but it wasn't. It really, really wasn't.
She touched the mattress beneath her and let her breath out slowly. She was in a bed, not buried in the ground. She felt absolutely fine. No pain. No cramps. No convulsions. Even her throat didn't hurt. Still, she felt that little bit too good.
She turned her head to look over her shoulder at the man lying curled around her. Protecting her. His eyes were open and he was looking down at her. His eyes, in that unguarded moment, were a soft blue of the deepest sea. Her heart contracted. Her sex spasmed. Even her breasts reacted, feeling suddenly swollen and achy. Just by looking into his eyes. She was in trouble.
"You are awake."
He shifted. Bent to brush her mouth with his. Gentle. No demand. That wasn't good, either. Because Andre was the type of man who would want morning sex. He'd want afternoon sex. He'd want night sex. He wasn't being in the least bit sexual, unless you counted the heavy erection pressing tight against her bottom.
"It isn't morning, is it?" That was all she could get out. Her mouth had suddenly gone dry. She knew the sun had set. She knew it was already evening. She was in a cave she could see perfectly in, but she knew it was early evening outside.
"No, the sun set about a half hour ago."
"Did I sleep here?"
"Teagan."
She closed her eyes and turned her face away from him. Even so, with the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, her body responded to his voice. All that silk and velvet. So rich. So perfect.
"I find it necessary to inform you, Andre, that you're not so perfect." She sat up, wishing she had a shirt to cover her body. "I already told you how gorgeous and sweet you are, which clearly was a mistake. It went to your head or something and convinced you that you could get away with anything." She leveled her gaze at him. "Which you cannot." She at least needed one of his shirts. "I think you need to know you aren't perfect and you just dropped way down on the boyfriend scale. Like hitting the bottom."
She stood. It was difficult to walk away with great dignity when she was absolutely naked. She really, really needed that shirt. Instantly she was wrapped in warmth. In his shirt. A button-down flannel that was warm, soft and more than comfortable. It came all the way to her knees, covering her completely.
Her breath left her lungs in a little rush. "Thank you." Because that was mega-cool and the shirt made her feel as if she had a little of her own power back.
"I did not give you the shirt. You did."
She swung around to stare at him. "I did not. I can't do that sort of thing."
"Is it the garment you pictured in your head?"
She nodded slowly, her hands clutching at the lapels of the shirt. "How?"
"You are fully in my world," Andre said. "The conversion was completed two risings ago."
There it was. Confirmation. She closed her eyes briefly, her mind shutting down for a moment. When she lifted her lashes, Andre was in front of her, wearing nothing but a pair of soft jeans. They clung to his superb body, rode low on his hips and cupped his very fine butt. She could see the two circular scars on his wide shoulders, his thick, heavily muscled bare chest and two more circular scars on either side of his ribs. It had to be said, but not out loud, that he truly was gorgeous.
His hand came out to settle in her hair, his thumb sliding gently over her face. "I am glad you think so, sivamet."
She glared out him. "What part of not out loud do you not get? You are a bastard. A rat bastard, as my good friend Cheryl would say." She pointed her finger at his chest for emphasis. "A huge rat bastard. That, in case you don't get the translation correctly, is not a good thing."
He crowded her, moving into her space, and he was a big man. More than a foot taller than her, he outweighed her by over a hundred pounds, but she didn't care. She thumped his chest with the flat of her hand, because if he was getting in her space he could just pay the consequences. She smacked him again for good measure and then her temper went up a notch because he didn't seem to notice. He just kept looking down at her with those eyes of his.
"I get that maybe you didn't realize I would suffer the agonies of hell, but I don't want this. I was going to live my life with you, give up most days to be with you and then die a quiet, nondramatic death with no vampires involved. No ground. No blood, just a plain ordinary human death."
"Teagan."
Her heart turned over. She smacked him again. "Don't you Teagan me. What you are going to do, and you're doing it this minute, is take the hoodoo off me and put me back to normal. Cool shirt and seeing in the dark aside--because they are definite pros--the blood and the dirt thingies are way not cool and I don't want this."
"Teagan."
"If you say my name again in tha
t particular tone, I swear, Andre, my head is going to explode. Seeing as how you saw fit to make momentous, life-changing decisions for me that I don't want, you can just undo it. Right. Now."
She crossed her arms over her chest and looked him straight in the eye to let him know she wasn't kidding around. He needed to take it back right away. That minute. Their gazes locked. Held. The bottom went out of her stomach, and she felt fear first and then terror crept in. She could see the answer in his eyes.
Her tongue touched her lower lip. "There's no taking this back, is there?"
He reached for her.
She stepped back, eluding him, holding up her hand to ward him off. "Is there, Andre?"
He shook his head slowly and took another step toward her.
Teagan retreated two steps, trying to catch her breath. Why couldn't she just faint and get out of the situation? Terror was clawing at her. Sheer terror.
"What you did was wrong, Andre. You understand that, don't you? I have the right to make up my own mind about something this huge. You can't do that kind of thing."
"It is not wrong in my world, Teagan. There are reasons the binding words are imprinted on the male of my species before birth. We must bind our lifemate to us. Without her, we can become the undead. A horrific monster with no soul, one who only seeks to inflict as much pain and death on everyone as possible."
She put her hands over her ears and shook her head. "Stop it. I mean it. You aren't even sorry you did this."
"I am sorry you suffered because of my actions," Andre said.
His voice, silk and velvet, penetrated right through her hands to her ears and managed to enter her body that way. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't even think. All along, she'd believed he could do anything--even reverse what he'd done. She wanted to scream.
"Do you even know what you've done to me? Without asking? Without my permission. I wasn't born in the century you were born in." She wanted to run. She was going to run, to outrun what she'd become. "I'm not what you obviously need or want. My man doesn't make decisions for me. Certainly not one like this."
He kept coming no matter how far she backed up, so she did the only thing left to her--she ducked under his arm and sprinted across the cave floor. She'd never moved so fast in her life. She actually ran with blurring speed. Phenomenal speed. She'd always been dismal at running, although she did it to stay in shape, but still, this was lightning fast.
Even her speed didn't save her. Andre hooked his arm around her waist, bringing her to an abrupt halt. She kicked him as hard as she could in the shins, connecting. Pain raced through her foot right up her own shin. Andre retaliated by swinging her off her feet and cradling her against his chest. She absolutely refused to be so undignified as to claw him in the face, even though she wanted to.
"Calm down. I am not going to allow you to hurt yourself."
"Don't say allow. Haven't you heard one single thing I've said to you?" She wanted to cry. The lump in her throat choked her but she wasn't going to cry in front of him. "I'm over this relationship. I mean it, Andre. I'm so breaking up with you. You aren't at all the man I thought you were."
He winced at that. Not physically, but she knew she'd scored when he flinched in his mind.
"I realize this is extremely difficult for you to process . . ."
"You think? Put me down. I'm totally serious, Andre. We are over. You go your way, I'll go mine. I just hope Grandma Trixie doesn't stake me before I can explain to her why I need to drink her blood and sleep in the basement." She glared at him. "And just who is responsible."
"No one is going to stake you, csitri."
There was his voice again. Soft. Gentle. Tender even. Mixed with just a little amusement, which fired her temper all over again.
"Don't you dare laugh at me. God, Andre, don't you see what you've done? I'm not me anymore. I don't want this. I would have stayed with you, given you everything, and that was a gift to you. I gave myself to you. You took something you shouldn't have and it's no longer a gift."
He set her on her feet against the far wall, caging her in with his larger frame and his hands on either side of her so there was no escape.
"You did give yourself to me. You put yourself into my keeping. I told you I would protect you, Teagan. It is impossible to protect you when I am in the ground and you are running around. Anything can happen to you. I would not survive your loss."
"You didn't have the right," she whispered. "I can't accept this. I can't. You can't take away my freedom."
"You do not understand the concept of lifemates. We are bound together. Your soul is the other half of mine and we're one now. Complete." He cupped her chin in his hand, leaning into her so there was no possibility of her moving away from him. His thumb caressed the soft skin of her face. "I tried to explain as best I could, Teagan. I showed you what I have never shared with any other. You needed to know who I am and why I do the things I do."
"That's well and good for you, Andre, but it's still selfish. You took away my decisions and you didn't care how I would feel."
"Is that what you really think, sivamet?" His eyes blazed down into hers. "You are always my first thought. Always. I am telling you and I want you in my mind. I want you to hear what I say and feel it and know it is the truth. It is impossible for me to allow you to put yourself in danger. Physically, mentally and emotionally impossible. I am not a modern man. I do not know the rules of your world." Nor do I want to. "I live in my world, and it is a dangerous one."
Nor do I want to. She caught that fleeting thought and jerked her head away from the warmth of his caressing hand. She shoved at his chest. "I caught that. You don't want to know the rules of my world. The one I lived in. Grew up in. Have family that means the world to me. I've traveled all over the world by myself or with a few girlfriends, hiking and climbing and making my own decisions."
"Decisions that led you to a serial killer and a vampire. I do not think this is your best argument, csitri."
There was the faint humor again that made her head want to spin around three times on her neck and have demon sounds come out of her mouth. When that didn't happen she settled for thumping his chest with her fist. She struggled to get herself under control. When she was fairly certain she had a handle on her temper and fear, she took a deep breath and looked up at his face.
"Andre, I need you to step back. I'm going to get dressed, pack my things and go home. I need to come to terms with this and I want to do it at home, surrounded by people who love me. People who will listen to me when I talk to them."
His fingers curled around the nape of her neck. "You are going to stay right here with me and talk to me. I will listen to you and we will work this out between us. You are my heart and soul. No one else loves or needs you in the way I do. No one. Not your grandmother. Not your sisters."
"See. Right there. That's not listening," she was compelled to point out.
"I listened, Teagan. I heard every word you said. You are not listening to me. I get that you are afraid. Everything about my world is frightening and new to you. Your grandmother and sisters cannot answer your questions or help you adjust."
He wasn't going to let her leave. She could see the resolve on his face. This man, this beautiful man, had trapped her in a body that wasn't hers. The worst part about it was that she actually understood his reasoning. She didn't agree with it, but she had seen his terrible childhood tragedy. He'd been terrified for her when she'd climbed the boulder and somehow disturbed the vampire in his lair. He'd had his lures out, just like a spider, and she'd nearly been trapped in his web.
Apparently in Andre's world, men could dictate. That was not going to happen. It just wasn't. She took a breath and let it out.
"Andre, you say lifemates are predestined. That there is only one and she is your other half. We're so different. I am modern and was raised to speak my mind, have my own opinions and make my own decisions. Clearly in your world, women do what men tell them to do . . ."
H
e laughed. Out loud. He actually threw his head back and laughed. The sound was amazing. Beautiful. He was beautiful when he laughed. She'd never heard him laugh wholeheartedly and the sound was pure music. His eyes lit up and his face had gone softer.
"What?" She tried to inject temper into the demand, but watching him laugh was mesmerizing and she failed completely.
"The women in my world do not do what their men tell them. Not one that I can see, unless it has something to do with safety. I would say they obey because they choose to obey and know their men take their safety seriously. They aren't stupid. They want to be safe from the dangers in our world."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you implying I'm stupid?"
His fingers tightened on the nape of her neck. "Teagan. Seriously. You have every reason to be upset and hurt by what I did, but do not look for other reasons. We need to deal with this issue."
Her head really was going to explode. She didn't care if his fingers massaging the tension from her neck felt great, or that he was the hottest man on the planet. Or that his voice slipped inside her every single time and turned her insides to a melted puddle of scorching hot need.
"You do realize," she bit out between her teeth, warning him. Because seriously, he needed to be warned. "Standing this close to me, when I detonate and go up in a fiery flaming bomb, you are going to get caught in the blast. For your own safety, Andre, just step back and let this happen."
He leaned into her, one hand still at the nape of her neck, the other on her belly, fingers spread wide pushing her slightly so that she was up against the wall. His head descended and she quickly turned her face away from his, knowing if he kissed her, she might just give in, and she wasn't going to. Not over this. It was too important.
Kiss me, Teagan. His mouth followed hers.
She clamped her lips together and shook her head. His hand went from her belly to her jaw, controlling her head.
His mouth rubbed gently over hers, his tongue tracing her lower lip and then the seam of her mouth.
Teagan shook her head, glaring at him. With her lips clamped shut, she still told him off. Your listening skills need serious work.