Page 24 of Incendiary


  You can see my section from here Osama. I am very proud of my section all the tins and packets are inside their sell-by dates and all the labels are facing front and everything is very neat and tidy. I wish you could see it. I think it is beautiful all that neatness. Tidiness almost hides the horror. This is love Osama this is civilisation this is what I’m getting paid 7 pound 20 an hour for.

  The coppers will find me here soon and they’ll take me away and have me banged up. I don’t blame them I mean you can’t have people like me strolling around with petrol cans. They’ll put me in prison for a bit or maybe in the nuthouse although I think I’d prefer prison on account of the nutters would just upset my boy. Don’t worry about me Osama I’ll be alright I’ll just keep myself to myself and it’s not as if I’ll get bored I’ve got more letters to write like I said.

  When I get out of prison Osama if you’re still outside too then I want you to come and live with me. Please don’t laugh please just think about it it could be a new start for both of us. We could get a decent place in the nice part of Hoxton or somewhere else if you prefer. Anywhere not too pricey would be alright although not South London if it’s all the same to you. Come out of your cave Osama and come to me I can’t hate you any more. I am weak from hate I don’t even have enough hate left to turn the little spark wheel on a Zippo. I know I’m just too stupid to know better but look at me. I’m like a broken jukebox the only tune I play is looking after my chaps. Won’t you let me play it?

  I will comfort you when you have bad dreams in the night. I will cook your tea just the way you like it. I will make our upstairs neighbours wish they’d never been born. I will try very hard to be faithful. I will hide you from the law and put all your CDs back in their right boxes with their labels facing front. We’ll make a new start the 2 of us. Everyone should be allowed a new start. Come on Osama my boy needs a dad and it’s about time you grew up too. I’ve told you all about the sadness of bombs so now you must give them up. I know you are a clever man Osama much brighter than me and I know you have a lot of things to get done but you ought to be able to get it done with love that’s my whole point. Love is not surrender Osama love is furious and brave and loud you can hear it in the noise my boy is making right now while he plays. RRRR! RRRR! he says I wish you could hear him Osama that noise is the fiercest and the loudest sound on earth it will echo to the end of time it is more deafening than bombs. Listen to that noise Osama it is time for you to stop blowing the world apart. Come to me Osama. Come to me and we will blow the world back together WITH INCREDIBLE NOISE AND FURY.

  The work was carried on with diligence, and London is restored; but whether with greater speed or beauty, may be made a question.

  —Inscription on the Monument to the Great Fire of London, south side

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you

  Rebecca Carter, a brilliant, generous, and inspiring editor. Laetitia Rutherford, a perfect agent. Hannah Dawson, who got things started. Alex Cleave, the man and the legend.

  Toby Eady and everyone at Orme Court. Jessica and Rosie Buckman. Karolina Sutton. Vanessa Kling. Alison Samuel, Dan Franklin, David Parrish, Paul Baggaley, Roger Bratchell, Rachel Cugnoni, Beth Coates, Suzanne Dean, Claire Wilshaw, Tom Drake-Lee, Lorelei Mathias. Sonny Mehta, Maya Mavjee, Leyla Aker, Thomas Ueberhoff, Elik Lettinga, Anna Pastore, Stefania De Pasquale, Charlotte Weiss, Maggie Doyle, Ana Maria Barros, Tone Torp, Anand Tucker, Andy Paterson, Sharon Maguire.

  Louis and Clmence. Rosemary and John. Mary, David, Sue, Fennella, Keith, Susanna, Duncan, Reuben, Amy, Nick, William, Sally, Emily, Anna, Libby, Catherine, Adrienne, Alice, Ben, Catherine, Julien. Chlo, Mike, Becs, Matt, Olivia, Jake, Grace, Mark, Dan, Martha, Vlad, George, Jonathan, Lucy, Jonas, Tanya, Emelyne, Siobhan, Chris. All the people who saw me home on the nights when I wouldn’t have made it.

  Chris Cleave, London

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Chris Cleave took a degree at Oxford and worked for the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph. He lives in Surrey with his wife and son.

  This Is a Borzoi Book Published by Alfred A. Knopf

  Copyright 2005 by Chris Cleave

  All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Alfred A. Knopf, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and in Canada by Doubleday Canada, a division of Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.

  www.aaknopf.com

  Published simultaneously in Great Britain by Chatto & Windus, London.

  Knopf, Borzoi Books, and the colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Cleave, Chris.

  Incendiary / Chris Cleave—1st American ed.

  1. Terrorism victims’ families—Fiction. 2 Terrorism—Prevention—Fiction.

  3. Working-class families—Fiction. 4. Working-class women—Fiction.

  5. Loss (Psychology)—Fiction. 6. Suicide bombings—Fiction. 7. London

  (England)—Fiction. 8. Widows—Fiction. I. Title.

  PR6103.L43I53 2005

  813'.6—dc22 2005044078

  eISBN: 978-0-307-26429-9

  v3.0

 


 

  Chris Cleave, Incendiary

 


 

 
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