“No.”
“Why not?”
“I want to wait and see if it’s real.”
“How will you know?” Maddie had to ask.
“He’ll see a difference in me like I have in him.”
Maddie was so full of emotion she couldn’t speak. Cathy took this as a bad sign.
“Is that the wrong way to do it?”
Maddie laughed a little at her aunt’s worried face and startled her sleeping daughter.
“No, Cathy.” Maddie rocked the baby a little. “I’m just so emotional right now that I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t you start us crying,” Cathy commanded, sounding more like herself. “Doyle will want to know what’s going on, and I’ll have to explain.”
“I won’t say a word,” the younger woman agreed. “But you need to keep me informed.”
“I will.”
Silence fell in the kitchen. The men did not interrupt them, and the baby went back to sleep. Maddie tried to take in this news while Cathy continued to wonder if her newfound faith could be this real.
“How are you doing with Corina in the house?” Eli asked Scottie in the middle of the week.
“Fine.”
“No more memories?”
Scottie thought about this. “I guess I expected to see myself in Corina, but it hasn’t happened. She’s so secure in her relationship with Dannan, and she’s already so comfortable in this house and at the meetinghouse. I wonder if she cries for her mother at night or when she’s alone with Dannan, but it doesn’t happen much here.”
“Did you ever cry for your mother?”
Scottie shook her head. “Few of us did. We knew from the moment we understood anything that there was no mother or father to cry for. Those words weren’t even used. If a girl grew attached to one of the workers, she might ask for her, but they were too busy to be kind so that wasn’t likely.”
“Were all the girls born there? I can’t remember if you’ve said.”
“Most were, but my memory right before I left was that older girls seemed to be arriving. No one older than ten or so, but certainly not babies.”
“But Corina doesn’t make you think of those times? It’s not worse for you?”
“No. These days when I look at her, the girls’ home doesn’t even come to mind.”
“I’m glad,” Eli said sincerely, knowing how torn he’d be if Scottie couldn’t deal with Corina’s presence in the house. “Now—” Eli made a swift topic change. “I think we need to discuss the Fourth of July.”
“There’s nothing to discuss,” Scottie said, coming to her feet and moving around the room. Straightening the blanket and some books that didn’t need straightening, Scottie resolutely avoided her husband’s eyes.
“I want you to go,” Eli started again.
“Why? I’ve never gone before.”
“But you could have. You should have, even. You don’t have to stay all day—just go for the speeches and the food and then come back and tell me all about it.”
Before Scottie could frame a reply, Iris came to the door.
“Scottie, Corina is looking for you. She said something about flowers.”
“Tell her I’ll be right down,” she told the cook and then turned to Eli. “I have to go.”
“Isn’t that convenient,” Eli teased, his eyes sparkling with suppressed mirth.
Glad to be released from this topic, Scottie exited without further comment.
Scottie and Corina didn’t start out until Thursday morning that week, but both were ready for some serious gardening. Eli did not want Scottie carrying all the flowers herself, so when she and Corina had thinned many blooms and a bush and placed them in baskets and pails, Ollie Heber loaded them into a wagon and dropped them off at Dannan’s.
Scottie and Corina walked there, and just as Dannan had said, Corina seemed to know exactly where she wanted them. The little girl had a special fondness for flowers at the front door, so they spent a long time in that spot, Corina getting muddier with each moment. Corina was so excited that Scottie didn’t know when she’d had so much fun.
“Well, now,” Dannan suddenly spoke from behind them about midmorning. Corina ran to him with a squeal of delight.
“Wait, Corina,” Scottie called. “Don’t touch Dannan.”
Dannan caught her muddy hands before they could wrap around his pant leg. He bent low and kissed her forehead.
“Why don’t we hug after you’ve washed your hands?” Dannan suggested.
“We plan flowers,” Corina’s words tumbled out. “A rush and a tree.”
Dannan looked to Scottie for clarification.
“She thinks the goldenrod looks like a small tree, and we did bring one bush.”
“Well, things look nice,” Dannan complimented, liking this scene way too much and having to fight his emotions.
“Thank you,” Scottie spoke sincerely. “We’ll be done shortly.”
“Okay.” Dannan inched toward the door. “I’ll get out of your way.”
“Bye, Danna.” Corina waved him off, looking completely delighted with the day.
Dannan slipped inside the house and sat in the first chair he came to. Being around Scottie Peterson was not getting easier. He needed to get over to the Pazan house, but he took a moment to pray, asking God to remind him of verses that promised He would be with him every step of the way.
The Fourth of July in 1840 was on a Saturday, and the celebration on the green was the talk in every corner of town. The Reverend Mr. Sullins had been asked by the committee to read the Declaration of Independence. There had been much debate among the committee members as to when this reading should occur, but those who believed the reading should be before dinner and not after won the day.
Food tables were lined up end to end, all shapes and sizes, and food arrived in an abundance for the feast. Folks who lived on the green left their hot dishes in the kitchen until the ceremonies were over, but folks on the outskirts, such as Jace and Maddie, brought breads and salads that didn’t need to be kept warm.
Maddie had spent all week thinking about Cathy. They hadn’t seen each other, and Maddie hadn’t spoken of the conversation to anyone, not even Jace. Jace had Valerie in his arms, and Maddie delivered the food. The moment she was finished arranging her dishes, however, she began to search for her aunt.
“Are you going to be all right?’ Troy asked of Reese. The two were standing in the kitchen at the big house.
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“It’s awfully warm and humid today, and you look a little pale.”
“I’m a redhead, Troy. I always look pale.”
Troy only studied her.
“If you keep this up, you’ll have Conner worried.”
“That’s not my intent, but it is warm out.”
“We’ll put our quilt under a tree.”
Noise from the green could already be heard, so Troy decided to act.
“Show me which one we’re taking, and I’ll go make sure we get shade.”
“All right,” Reese agreed, sounding only slightly resigned. She gave the quilt to Troy and almost let him get out the door.
“Troy,” Reese called his name.
He stopped and looked at her.
“Thanks.”
Troy didn’t speak. His smile said it all.
“How are you doing?” Maddie asked Cathy as soon as she tracked her down.
“Fine.”
“Have you told Doyle anything?” Maddie clarified with Cathy, who, being on the committee, was still helping to organize.
“No, and Doyle hasn’t noticed.”
“Cathy,” Maddie shared, deciding to be blunt. “Doyle might not be that observant. You might just want to tell him what’s been going on.”
Cathy thought about this for a moment, even knowing she didn’t have time to stand around.
“On Sunday,” she declared. “If he hasn’t noticed by tomorrow night, I’ll say something then.”
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Maddie, now doubting whether she’d handled this well, only nodded. She wished she’d told Jace. He might have told her to encourage Cathy to talk to Doyle no matter what. At the same time, it seemed to Maddie to be good thinking, and even an act of faith on Cathy’s part, for her to want Doyle to notice. A new creature in Christ was a different person; changes should be evident.
One of Maddie’s temples began to ache. It was too late to change the past, and today she wanted to enjoy and pray for the wonderful people of Tucker Mills. Hoping to do just that, Maddie moved to find her husband and daughter.
“Tell me something, Scottie,” Reese asked when she’d joined them on their quilt. “Do you usually come to this celebration?”
“This is my first time,” she admitted.
“Why is that?” Conner asked.
“Eli’s mother never came, so I didn’t, and then when she died and Eli and I married, it bothered me to leave him for so many hours.”
“And today?” Reese pressed.
“Eli wanted me to. He said he’s been sorry all these years that I didn’t think I could go.”
“Are you glad you came?” Troy asked.
Scottie didn’t immediately answer, causing the older man to smile. He thought he’d heard reticence in her voice.
“It won’t be long, Scottie,” Reese reassured her. “The speeches never last long, and once the picnic begins, it’s easy to slip away whenever you want.”
Scottie thanked her and remembered what Eli had requested. He would be curious about the speeches, who was there, and what she ate. She realized now that he’d known exactly what he was doing.
Twelve
Dannan walked toward home, a drooping child in his arms, his heart at peace with the way the picnic had gone. He’d fought his emotions and natural desires; he’d fought hard. Not once did he search Scottie Peterson out with his eyes or have special thoughts about her. He spotted her a few times, but his eyes didn’t linger and his mind didn’t fantasize.
The fellowship during the course of the day was extremely sweet, and with only one minor injury during the townball game, Dannan had enjoyed a day off. The food had been a feast in every sense of the word, and after Corina played herself into exhaustion, Dannan decided to head for home.
Corina didn’t wake while he washed her face and hands or when he changed her into her nightdress. She was as limp as her cloth doll by the time her head touched the pillow, and Dannan did not hear from her until morning.
How are we doing on hospitality?
The question rolled around in Scottie’s mind all the way home from the meetinghouse. Douglas had asked the question at the beginning of the sermon, not preaching on it but simply taking some time to remind everyone what a vital and important command hospitality was in Scripture.
Never before this day had Scottie considered that she might need to do things differently. Always she had assumed that a bedridden husband made biblical hospitality impossible.
And it wasn’t as if no one visited, Scottie heard herself rationalize. Eli has company every week.
Even as she said this, Scottie realized she never did; she never had anyone over. She took a moment and thought about trying to have folks into Eli’s room and nearly shook her head. There wasn’t much room. And Eli’s leaving the bed was not an option.
Scottie was home without even noticing the distance, and as usual, she headed right for Eli’s room. Her feelings and thoughts were totally foreign to her, and for the first time seeing him was not a comfort. What if her questions made her sound disappointed in him? The thought was heartbreaking to her because it was so untrue.
“How was your morning?” Eli asked as soon as she entered, his eyes seeing immediately that something was on her mind.
“It was enlightening.” Scottie said, taking her seat on the bed.
“And upsetting?”
“A little, because I feel as though I’ve missed something all these years.”
“What?” Eli asked, his voice patient.
Scottie hated that he had to coax it out of her, but she was still working to find the words.
“Douglas mentioned hospitality, and I think I could be doing a better job.”
The uncertainty in her eyes surprised him. Scottie was never afraid to talk about an issue with him, but clearly she feared something right now. Thankfully, she continued.
“I feel as though my thoughts are going to give you the wrong impression—that I’m disappointed in my life.”
“I do not believe that would be my first thought.”
“Or disappointed in you,” Scottie went on.
“My mind wouldn’t entertain that idea either.”
Scottie nodded, relief showing in the way she held her body. Eli watched her nod a little and then begin.
“You have company every week, but how do I offer hospitality to others and not leave you out?”
“That’s a good question,” Eli complimented her. “Are you thinking about other families or women friends?”
“I haven’t gone that far in my thinking yet. I just know that I could be doing better but don’t know where to start.”
Eli’s head went back against his pillow, his eyes on the ceiling. He was thinking about her question but also about some aspects of his own personality that entered into all of this. He knew right then that there were things he needed to confess to his wife, but he wanted to find the words. For the moment, he ended with a suggestion.
“Why don’t you join Douglas and me for our session tomorrow? I think he might be a big help to us.”
“You don’t mind?”
“No. I think it’s just what we need.”
More relief bowed her shoulders, and Eli knew he was going to have to fix this. It hadn’t occurred to him before today that this was a problem, but right now he could see it as plain as day. He picked up his wife’s hand.
“Isn’t it a sweet thing when we’re convicted of something and God gives us a chance to change?”
Overrun with conflicting emotions, Scottie didn’t have words and only nodded her agreement.
“I’ll get dinner now,” she said after a few moments of silence.
“Are you too tired?”
“I am tired, but I’m hungry too. I suspect you are as well.”
Eli didn’t detain her, but his mind went back to work on the issue the moment she left. He wasn’t sure how it would all work out, but he was clear on a few things: He was the leader of their home. He was the head of their small family, and his selfishness had gone on long enough.
“I prayed to believe,” Cathy said to Doyle at bedtime Sunday. She was sitting on her side of the bed, her back to her husband, not even turning when she heard him move to face her. “I asked God to help me believe like you and Maddie do. I told Him I’m a sinner only He can save, and He helped me.”
“When was this?” Doyle asked, staying still and waiting for her to turn.
“A week ago.”
Doyle was stunned. Cathy had been working hard at understanding Scripture for months now, but he didn’t think she’d come to this point.
“Did you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”
“I wanted you to notice.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t, Cathy,” Doyle wasted no time in saying. “That was wrong of me.”
Cathy finally turned. “Maybe you didn’t notice because there’s been no change.”
“Is that what you hoped I’d see?”
Cathy nodded.
Doyle went and sat beside her. He put an arm around her shoulders, and Cathy leaned into him.
“Do you suppose it was real, Doyle? Did I really believe?”
“Right now we’re going to operate under the belief that you did, but I can tell you some things you can watch for.”
“All right.”
“A repentant heart and a hunger for the truth of God’s Word.”
“Is that all?”
“Those are huge, Cathy,” Doyle said.
“I just thought there would be such a long list.”
Doyle thought about that for a moment.
“I can tell you one other thing, something Jace shared with me on Sunday,” Doyle continued. “He said too many folks think they can make Christ their Savior but not their God. They think that a one-time prayer experience and regular church attendance are enough, but the Bible says that we’re like slaves to a master, the most wonderful Master in the universe, but still a master. The giving up of our will, of expecting to have our way, and of being in control are some of the things God expects from us.”
Cathy looked thoughtful over this but not rebellious. She was not a person who liked being told what to do. She was capable and strong, and in the past quite certain her sin was not serious enough to condemn her.
“And that’s how I’ll know,” Cathy spoke, almost to herself. “My heart will be changed.”
“Exactly.”
Cathy suddenly smiled, but Doyle didn’t see it. It was true that he hadn’t noticed, but Cathy had noticed all week. The changes were small, but they were very real.
Putting both arms tightly around her husband, Cathy wished that she had told him a week ago.
Dannan headed to the Peterson house alone on Monday morning. He had been called out at four o’clock in the morning, and by the time he’d returned, Iris had already left for work, naturally taking Corina with her.
Dannan knew he could go about his day, but not seeing Corina at all in the morning felt wrong to him. She was a wonderful little person to start the day with, and Dannan missed her. On top of that, Corina had been struggling lately with a few things, and Dannan wanted to make sure she remembered the precautions they’d been talking about.
“Well, Dannan,” Finn greeted that man. “Come on in. Your little miss is helping with the baking this morning.”
“That’s fine timing on my part. Maybe she’ll share.”
Dannan made the kitchen in time to see the first pan of cookies go into the oven. Corina watched from a distance and clapped her small hands when Iris turned to her with excited eyes.