“Is he coughing?” Dannan asked of Finn.
Finn gave a small shake of the head, and Dannan, aware of Scottie’s presence, didn’t comment or let his expression give him away. Eli was growing weaker by the hour, and Dannan seriously began to wonder if he might lose him.
“Mr. Peterson,” Dannan called, finally waking him. “Can you hear me?”
Eli stirred, his breathing raspy. His eyes opened slowly and spotted Finn.
“Dannan is here,” the caretaker told him.
“Dannan?” Eli rasped.
“Right here. Can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“I need you to cough, Mr. Peterson. You’ve got to clear your lungs.”
The effort completely taxed Eli. He coughed weakly, and Dannan began to pray in earnest. This man was not going to make it if they couldn’t get him in a better position to cough.
“I want him to sit up more,” Dannan instructed Finn, and then to Scottie, “and bring a pot of strong tea with sugar, no milk.”
Delighted to have jobs, Scottie and Finn fell to their respective tasks. Moving in the gentle way that was second nature to him, Finn’s powerful arms lifted, shifted, and adjusted until Eli was sitting up higher. Feverish and miserable, Eli only laid his head back as soon as he was able.
He’d been settled in place for a few minutes when Scottie arrived with the tray. Finn coaxed some tea into Eli, and he made an effort to sit up and drink more.
“Scottie?” Eli whispered when he found air.
Scottie moved so she could see him and tried not to look as concerned as she felt.
“I’m here,” she said, picking up his hand.
Eli stared at her, wanting to say so many things, but his body wanted only to lie back and sleep.
“Cough if you can,” Dannan instructed, and Eli did his best. Indeed, Eli attempted everything Dannan told him to do, but he was weakening swiftly. Iris arrived with beef broth and more strong, sweet tea for him to drink, and when Dannan spotted his daughter in the hallway, he went out to her. Dannan picked her up and walked a few paces away from the door.
“Mr. Son sick,” the child said.
“Yes, he is. We can pray for him.”
“I pray,” Corina said.
“Yes, you do, and when we pray, we can trust God for Mr. Peterson.”
The sweet, trusting little face that looked up into his was too much for Dannan. He tucked Corina’s head under his chin and just held her close, hoping she would always be a child who loved to be cuddled.
“Do you want to bring her back?” Iris was suddenly there asking, obviously returning to the kitchen.
Dannan looked at the older woman and thought of Reese.
“I can take her to the big house if you’d like, Iris. Reese will welcome her.”
Iris gave a small shake of her head.
“I want her with me” was all Iris would say, taking Corina’s hand when Dannan put her down. Dannan sent her off with a wave and resumed his position in the sickroom. To his intense relief, Eli’s eyes were open, and he looked a bit more alert.
“How’s the breathing?” Dannan asked.
“Better,” Eli whispered. Dannan thought it might be somewhat improved but not enough to raise his hopes. He glanced at Finn and Scottie and saw that they both drooped in their chairs. Dannan decided to step in.
“Go and get something to eat, both of you,” he commanded. “Eli and I will talk about books.”
Scottie looked to her husband, who gave a weak nod, and Finn followed Scottie from the room.
“I meant it,” Eli got out, the moment the others were free of the door.
Dannan took a seat and looked at him sternly.
“You are very unwell,” he started, but Eli was not done.
“All the more reason,” he began and then panted.
Dannan was ready to argue with him but knew that would have been wrong. Eli was an older man in the faith, and on top of that, he was probably dying. Much as Dannan wanted to argue, he held his peace.
“Your hand,” Eli was running out of strength fast, but Dannan did as he was asked, putting his hand out so Eli could take hold of it. “I need to know you’ll try.”
“Try what?”
“To have a life…”
Dannan didn’t want to say it, but he could see that Eli was desperate to hear the words.
“With Scottie?” Dannan asked.
Even in the hand that held his, Dannan felt Eli relax. To be understood was all he needed. Dannan wanted to remind his patient that there were no guarantees Scottie would want anything to do with him, but something more pressing was on his mind.
“I want you to fight this,” Dannan instructed, his tone firm. “You’re talking like you’re already gone, and I won’t have it.”
Eli could not lift his head from the pillow, but he nodded, his eyes watching Dannan’s face. Dannan looked right back. He had not known this man long enough, and he didn’t want to lose him. He racked his brain to make sure he hadn’t missed anything, but pneumonia was tricky. Some had it for weeks, walking around coughing and feeling miserable. Others, especially those in a bedridden state, could die within days of the first sign. Dannan did not want Eli to be in the last group, but he was not sure any of them had a choice.
“How about some more tea?” Dannan offered.
Eli drank to please him, sensing in his heart that he was not going to recover from this. He did not want to break Scottie’s heart, but he couldn’t remember feeling this poorly before. His lungs had filled on other occasions but he hadn’t been feverish and achy. When Dannan ordered him to cough, it was almost more than he could bear, but he made the effort, never wanting the younger man to believe he’d given up.
When he couldn’t hold his eyes open any longer, he fell into a deep sleep. Dannan checked his lungs and pulse and then stepped out into the hallway. Scottie was just coming up the stairs.
“How is he?”
“Asleep.”
“But how is he, Dannan?” she repeated.
“Not good,” that man told her quietly and watched as her eyes filled. When she spoke, however, her voice was steady.
“Tell Finn I’ll be in my room. I want him to come for me the moment Eli wakes.”
Dannan nodded and watched her go along the landing and slip swiftly into the last door. Dannan stood there, not to listen but because he couldn’t move. The last person he wanted to see leave the earth right now was Eli Peterson.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be,” Dannan told Reese when the day began to end and he knew he would need to find a place for Corina for the night. “I planned to meet with Conner tonight, but that will have to wait.”
“How bad is he?” Reese asked.
“Bad. He’s so weak that I wonder if something hasn’t been brewing for a while now.”
“How is Scottie?”
Dannan only gave a small shake of his head; it was all he could manage. He knew it was not his place to say the things he’d overheard, but it went beyond that. Remembering how much she hurt right now was almost more than his heart could take.
“You’ve been warning me for years,” Dannan had heard her say to Eli. “But you were never supposed to get this sick.”
“My mother,” Eli got out, “said I never did as I was told.”
Scottie had tried to smile, but it was a very crooked one, and a tear slid down her cheek. Remembering it now made Dannan’s heart feel tight in his chest.
“The time doesn’t matter, Dannan,” Reese assured him. “We’ll keep her as long as you like. Do you know if Douglas has been given word?”
“I don’t, but I’ll go there next and make sure.”
Not only was Douglas thankful to hear of the news, he accompanied Dannan back to the Peterson house. Eli was sleeping, his breathing labored, and after speaking to him and gaining no response, Douglas just prayed quietly by his side, hoping Eli would catch some of the words.
“Is there anything I can do?
” he then asked of Scottie.
“I don’t think so, Douglas. If he wakes, I’ll make sure he knows you were here.”
Douglas thanked her for that but did not rush away. He stayed for almost two hours and spoke with all of them. Eli did not wake before he left, but Douglas said he’d be back in the morning.
By morning it was too late. Elias Peterson died just before dawn. His wife, completely crushed and lost, was at his side.
Dannan counted the bells that rang Wednesday morning and learned that he’d been far wrong about Eli’s age. He figured him to be a man in his mid-forties at least, only to learn that he was 35. On further reflection it wasn’t surprising, considering how he’d spent most of his life, unable to be robust and hearty in his lifestyle. At the same time, it caused Dannan to wonder again how Eli and Scottie came to be married.
As soon as the thought came to mind, Dannan realized he didn’t want to think about it. He was weary from a sleepless night and planned to catch a quick nap before going to get Corina. It took longer than he expected to fall asleep, but he did so praying for Scottie, Iris, and Finn. The next few hours and days would be an especially painful time.
“I should help,” Scottie told Finn, her hands shaking so much that her teacup clanked back into the saucer.
“You should not help,” Finn argued. He was against Scottie being involved in the laying out of Eli Peterson, his voice resolute but not unkind. “It’s the last thing Eli would have wanted.”
Scottie looked away in an attempt to compose herself. Finn studied her profile. To his amazement, he found he was dealing with Eli’s death quite well; the preparations he and Eli had made for many years were indeed helpful. But Scottie now being so completely on her own was something his heart was fighting. There had not been a thought or an idea that Eli had not shared with him, including his desire to see Scottie happily married to Dr. Dannan MacKay. Tomorrow would not be too soon for Finn. Watching her look so lost and uncertain was proving to be the real test of his heart.
“You didn’t have that type of relationship, Scottie,” Finn tried another tack, his voice still gentle. “No one could have taken better care of Eli than you did, but not in that private way. Iris and I laid out his mother. Eli didn’t even want you to have to do that. I’m sure he would not want this for you.”
Iris had held her tongue up to this point, not wanting to make things any harder for Scottie than necessary, and Finn had always had a way with their mistress. But now she spoke.
“The next few days will be draining enough without adding this to your load, Scottie. Half the town will be coming through the front door, and you’ll have to be in the center of it all. Save whatever strength you have for that time.”
Scottie nodded, tears still clogging her throat. Knowing she’d have to stay busy to survive, she finished her tea and stood.
“I’ll be in the garden. Please come for me when you’re done.”
Iris watched Scottie walk out the door. She didn’t know about Eli’s plans to see Scottie married to Dannan, but outside of that, her thoughts almost mirrored Finn’s. It was harder to see Scottie looking so bereft and alone than it was to say goodbye to Eli.
“Thank you for coming,” Scottie said over and over the next day. Iris had been correct. An amazing number of townsfolk came to view Eli’s body, and Scottie sat in the accustomed place by the casket, Iris and Finn at her side. The burial would follow the viewing, Douglas would be speaking at the graveside, and then folks were invited to the big house for a meal.
Scottie felt as if she were dreaming. Every time she looked at the casket, she expected to see Eli wake up. The longer she sat there, the more she realized that wasn’t going to happen, but it still hurt her heart to see his casket lowered into the ground and know it would be covered with dirt.
She heard little of what Douglas said, her mind still telling Eli he wasn’t supposed to get that sick, and he certainly wasn’t supposed to die. Not until the end, when Douglas reminded the crowd that God had a plan, did Scottie snap out of her daze.
“Eli would have wanted me to remind you,” Douglas spoke kindly, “ours is a God who can be trusted because He holds all things, even life and death, in His sovereign hand.”
How could you forget that, Scottie? she asked herself. Eli and his mother were the very ones to teach you that you’re safe in God’s hands because of your trust in Him. And Eli’s not in that bed anymore. Would you really wish him back?
The tears that came to her eyes as she stood for a few minutes more by his grave were a mix of sorrow and peace. For a few hours there she had done nothing but think of herself. She was ready to throw off the mantle of that burden. This wasn’t about her. This was about a man who had trusted God and who had gone home to be with Him at the time God appointed.
Scottie was able to accompany Reese and the others to the big house, looking forward to seeing everyone and thanking them again for all their support. She had done that at home during the viewing but had only been going through the motions. Now her thanks would be heartfelt.
She didn’t kid herself about the future. She knew tears would come in the days ahead, along with much adjustment and hurt, but the Savior who had determined that it was Eli’s time to leave the earth was just as able to care for her, no matter what the future held.
“Did you want to come tonight and see me, Dannan?” Conner asked when the men had a moment alone.
Dannan thought about it. He was tired, but he suspected that getting Eli’s words off his chest might help him to sleep better.
“I think I might. Is Reese up to more company after this mob?”
“I’ll check with her, and if she needs to rest, I’ll come to your house.”
Reese was fine with the company, but as it turned out, Corina needed to be in her own bed and at an early hour, so Conner came to Dannan’s house. The two men settled in the parlor to talk.
Conner listened quietly as Dannan told him what Eli had said, even including the exchange he’d shared with Finn, and then sat in stunned silence.
“Your silence actually encourages me,” Dannan admitted when Conner did not speak. “I’m glad I’m not the only one surprised by this.”
Conner shook his head a bit. “And this was what you were going to talk to me about when Eli grew ill?”
“Yes. I feel almost cheated that he’s not here to continue the discussion, but as soon as we had a few minutes alone, he brought it up again.”
“What did he say then?”
“He wanted assurance that I was going to take it seriously.”
“How did you assure him?”
“I didn’t really. He said he wanted me to have a life and then ran out of words. I put Scottie’s name in where he wanted it, and he relaxed as though the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders.”
Conner thought about this for several minutes.
“It’s funny, Dannan, but in truth I don’t think Eli did anything wrong. He might have been trying to control things a bit beyond his grasp, but clearly he wanted to see Scottie happily married and cared for, and he thought you were the man.”
Dannan sat quietly, so Conner asked another question.
“So, do you think you’re the man?”
“I think falling for Scottie would be easy, but that doesn’t mean she’ll want me in return.”
“So you haven’t fallen for her?” Conner had to ask.
“I won’t tell you that I’m not attracted, but I’ve been fighting it since I found out she belonged to Eli Peterson.”
Conner was well and truly pleased with this information and suddenly knew exactly why Eli wanted him for Scottie. Beyond his belief in Christ, Dannan MacKay was a man of honor. He was also the perfect age for Scottie. The two of them could provide siblings for Corina.
“What are you thinking about?” Dannan asked.
“Many things,” Conner replied, admitting only so much. “But mostly I think Eli might be right. You’re perfect for Scott
ie.”
“Which means what?” Dannan asked, his brows raised.
Conner opened his mouth and then closed it. The two men ended up laughing a little.
“It’s not that easy, is it?” Conner said.
“It’s not easy at all,” Dannan corrected.
“Be that as it may,” Conner said, bringing the discussion to a close and allowing Dannan to seek his rest. “If God wants the two of you together, there will be a way.”
Dannan would not have believed that he could sleep after such a discussion, but he was wrong. He thought about it and prayed about it the entire time he was readying for bed, but sleep claimed him the moment he grew comfortable on the mattress.
“Good morning,” Dannan greeted Iris when she opened the Petersons’ front door the following morning. “I didn’t want to assume that you were up to this. Once again, Reese has offered to take her.”
“I knew you were going to say that,” she said, her voice and face normal. “I would have sent Finn to look for you if you hadn’t come within the hour. Come in here, Miss Corina,” Iris commanded, turning to the little girl. “You and I are going to bake bread today.”
Scottie chose that moment to come through. She greeted Corina but then waited for Iris and the little girl to move toward the kitchen before speaking to Dannan.
“I don’t know if I thanked you,” Scottie began. “You stayed so long, and I know Eli appreciated it.”
“You’re very welcome. How are you doing, by the way?”
“I’m keeping busy,” Scottie half-whispered, smiling, but her eyes showed the hurt.
“Let me know if you’d rather not have Corina around right now. I mean, Iris seems to enjoy it, but if you’d rather not…”
“Not at all,” Scottie assured him. “We have to get back to normal as soon as we can. She’s so sweet, and both Iris and Finn have already grown so attached.”
“Is Finn still here?”
“Oh, yes. When both he and his house are ready, he’ll move his things. I imagine he’ll still take at least some of his meals here.”