“Come to the workroom.”
His voice was quiet, but Scottie didn’t hesitate to follow him to a room off the kitchen. Dannan told her to sit on the high stool and then stood before her to work.
“This is going to burn,” Dannan warned.
Scottie shook a little when the brown liquid filled the cut. He hadn’t been joking. It felt like fire.
Dannan’s work was thorough. He cleaned and inspected her hand with minute care, using the salve Iris had been out of and then wrapping it expertly for healing.
When he was through, he didn’t let go, but held her hand and studied her bent head.
“I would never lie to you,” he whispered.
“Somewhere on the walk over here I figured that out,” Scottie whispered back, raising miserable eyes to his. “But if you didn’t lie, that means my husband talked to you about me, and that cuts my heart to the quick.”
Dannan nodded.
“Why would he do that, Dannan? What was he thinking? What did he say?”
“I don’t think you want all the details right now, Scottie, but I will tell you that he did it because he loved you so much.”
Tears filled Scottie’s eyes. She felt so betrayed by the man who had always had her best interests in mind. It made no sense.
“What did he expect you to do?” she finally asked.
Dannan hesitated, not wanting to baby her but already sorry for what he’d revealed. He opted to repeat himself, “I don’t know if you want to know that right now, Scottie. Your grief is so fresh.”
Scottie wanted to argue but hesitated. She had spoken without thinking too much today and was paying for it. Scottie slipped off the stool and looked up at Dannan.
“I’m going home now. I said things today that didn’t need to be said, and now added to my grief is confusion about Eli. I’m going to want to know what he said, but not today.”
“I’m sorry also,” Dannan had to say. “I should never have opened my mouth about our conversation. I respect your right to know what Eli said, Scottie. Just let me know when you want to know.”
“Thank you, Dannan.”
“Here.” Dannan stopped her. “Take this salve, but try to keep that hand dry for a few days. If it starts to bleed again when you unwrap it, come back to me so I can wrap it.”
“Thank you, Dannan.”
“On second thought, leave it wrapped until Saturday morning, and then I’ll check it when I drop off Corina.”
Scottie agreed and started toward the door.
“I thought Finn took care of the chickens,” Dannan commented, trailing her.
“He usually does, but Iris needed eggs.”
Dannan nodded and then picked up her hand. “This is going to throb some, but if the pain suddenly becomes worse, tell me.”
Scottie nodded and stood still. Dannan still had her hand.
“Maybe you should tell me now,” Scottie said.
“If you want me to, I will.”
Scottie bit her lip. She was seeing it again, the look that had caused her to question Dannan in the garden. Suddenly she was afraid. Eli was right: She was ignorant of the ways between men and woman.
“Did you know that I was born and raised at a home for girls?” she suddenly asked him.
“No, I didn’t.”
“I don’t remember seeing a boy until I was ten. There was some type of traveling peddler who came every few months to the orphanage, but no boys.”
Dannan nodded, his face open, but Scottie suddenly reclaimed her hand. She folded her arms over her chest and looked embarrassed.
“I don’t know why I told you that.”
“I’m glad you did,” Dannan encouraged, and for a moment Scottie couldn’t look away from his eyes.
“I’d better go,” she finally forced herself to say. “Iris will think I’ve fallen into a hole.”
“I’ll see you Saturday.”
Scottie walked back down the green, wishing she understood what was going on inside of her. It was the kind of thing she would have rushed home to discuss with Eli. Her heart clenched painfully when she remembered he wouldn’t be there.
It was evening, and Corina was in bed before Dannan had time to think about the morning. Scottie had no more left when Dannan had been called upon to set a bone, a broken leg that took some doing. The rest of his day had been just as busy, but now in the quiet of the parlor, Dannan closed his eyes with regret.
Scottie’s grief over Eli was just a few weeks old. He’d never intended to put such a burden on her. He’d hoped someday to tell her of his conversation with Eli but certainly not this soon.
And where did they go from here? Part of him hoped she would ask questions soon, and part of him wanted to put it off for months. Dannan didn’t know when he’d felt so drained. If Corina hadn’t already been asleep, he might have gone to see Conner. Of course that would mean explaining everything that had happened, and he was too tired for that.
Dannan planned to pray and read, but he fell asleep in the chair, not even aware when the candle sputtered into darkness.
“Finn?” Scottie waited until they were alone the next morning to speak to him in the parlor. Iris and Corina were in their usual places in the kitchen.
“What is it?”
“Did you know that Eli had talked to Dannan about me?”
“Yes,” the older man answered without even hesitating.
“Do you know what they talked about?”
“Yes. How did you know about it?”
“Dannan mentioned it, but not the specifics.”
Finn nodded. He had wondered at her quiet the day before.
“Does Iris know?”
“No.”
Scottie eyed him. It wasn’t fair to ask, but she was going to. “Can you tell me?”
“Dannan didn’t want to?”
“He said he would whenever I was ready.”
“And you’re ready now?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you want to know, Scottie, then ask,” Finn said simply, “but ask Dannan. I think it would be best.”
Scottie had to agree. It would be less embarrassing with Finn—he was family—but in all fairness to Dannan and Finn, she had to finish that conversation with the doctor.
“Someone’s a bit teary today,” Iris observed to Finn and Scottie as they relaxed after dinner with their tea. “I had rather hoped you-know-who would join us.”
“I can read to her until she sleeps,” Scottie volunteered.
“And fall asleep yourself?” Finn teased her.
“I might,” Scottie smiled.
“How is that hand today?” Iris asked, spotting the wrap and remembering.
“It hurts some but hasn’t bled through. Dannan said he would check it in the morning.”
“Danna?” a wounded voice suddenly inquired. The older woman took Corina up and cuddled her close, kissing her small cheek.
“There’s a dear,” she comforted. “Just as soon as Scottie has finished her tea, she’s going to read you a book. Won’t that be nice?”
Corina nodded against her, and the three adults could see that no book would be needed. By the time Finn and Scottie had drained the pot, Corina was asleep in Iris’ arms.
Alone in the parlor on Saturday morning, Dannan was pleased with the progress of Scottie’s hand. The bleeding had not started again, and it looked as if there would be no infection. Dannan recleaned the wound, used the salve, and replaced the bandage with a fresh one. The moment he was done, Scottie spoke.
“So Eli spoke to you about how unfamiliar I am with male-female relationships. What did he expect you to do about it?”
Dannan’s heart sank. She wasn’t supposed to be this direct.
“Dannan?” Scottie pressed him, and he vowed once again never to lie to her.
“He wanted me to marry you.”
Scottie could not keep her mouth shut. Her lower jaw dropped, and it remained that way. Dannan looked at her as his thoughts r
aced. It took some time before he thought of something to say.
“Can I explain a few things to you?” Dannan began, but his voice enabled her to speak.
“Was he serious? He could be a terrible tease,” Scottie said, her eyes begging Dannan to tell her it was all a joke.
“Listen to me, Scottie, Eli knew that sooner or later he was not going to make it. He wanted to know you would be cared for.”
“But I have Finn and Iris.”
“Yes, but he wanted more for you, I think.”
“Why are you so understanding, Dannan? You must have been horrified, if not repulsed.”
“Not at all,” Dannan said quietly.
Scottie stared at him, suddenly feeling bold. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Eli knew some things,” Dannan admitted.
Scottie’s gaze was direct. “What things?”
The room had suddenly become very warm to Dannan, but he answered. “He was very intuitive, Scottie. You must have known that. He could tell what I was thinking.”
“About what?” Scottie asked cautiously, wondering if she was as ready for this as she thought.
Dannan took a breath. “If you recall, I had no idea when I first met you that you were a married woman.”
Scottie looked confused.
“In front of Shephard Store,” he prompted, and her face cleared.
“When I poked you in the head.”
“Yes.”
“What did my marriage have to do with that?”
Dannan’s collar felt as though it was strangling him, but he made himself keep on.
“I’d seen you at the meetinghouse but never talked to you. Thinking you were single, I was attracted to you.”
Scottie’s heart did something it had never done before. There was a sensation of pain, but it was too pleasant to be described as painful. She stared into Dannan’s handsome face and at the same time tried to read what she was feeling inside.
“Scottie, are you all right?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
“I want you to know what was said, but I don’t want you to be horrified at the thought that I expect this of you.”
“That’s what I said to you,” Scottie said.
“But I wasn’t horrified because of what I was feeling. I was horrified at how you’d feel about his talking to me.” Dannan paused. “And I was right.”
Scottie felt helpless. How did she explain something of which she had no understanding? She wasn’t horrified by Dannan, not at all, but it was true that another marriage had never entered her mind.
Scottie was on the verge of trying to say just that to Dannan when Finn came their way, Corina in his wake.
“How is the hand?” he wished to know.
“Danna!” his daughter squealed as she ran to him.
The next few minutes were taken with conversation about Scottie’s hand and Dannan saying goodbye to Corina yet again. Scottie would spend the rest of the day talking to Dannan in her head, quite certain that she would never be able to share all she was thinking.
Sixteen
“We need to finish our conversation,” Dannan said to Scottie as soon as the service ended on Sunday morning and they had a moment together. Corina was at the end of the pew, standing near Alison, who was holding Jeffrey in her lap.
“I’ve been thinking the same thing, but I’m afraid I won’t know what to say.”
“I hope you’ll say whatever you want, whatever you’re feeling,” Dannan encouraged her.
Scottie nodded but had to look away to ask, “What happens next, Dannan?”
“What do you mean?”
Scottie couldn’t answer. This was the very thing she feared: his not understanding her when everything she was experiencing was so new, coupled with the fact that she had been a married woman such a short time ago.
“This I know,” Dannan said, feeling the room grow more empty as folks exited. He lowered his voice some. “We’re friends. We’ve been friends through all of this, and we’ll keep on in that way. If something else comes up, we’ll talk about it.”
The sigh that lifted Scottie’s chest was real. He had understood her enough to give her an answer she could live with.
“Thank you, Dannan. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.”
“Always.”
The word made Scottie smile. That smile did things to Dannan’s heart, even as he reminded himself that there were no promises here. This was new territory for Scottie. She might learn that she did not want to marry again. She also might not know anything about her feelings for a long time.
Corina appeared in their midst a moment later, and before Dannan picked her up, he thanked God for Iris Stafford and her job at the Peterson house. Without that woman’s connection to his daughter, his contact with Scottie would be very limited.
Even as he and Corina went on their way home, it was wonderful knowing that he might see Scottie the very next day.
Sunday noon found Jace, Maddie, and Valerie at the big house for dinner. They were the only family visiting on that day, and the conversation was sweet.
“What is the most challenging part of your faith in Christ?” Conner asked Jace.
“Probably remembering to be thankful. In those first few weeks and months, I was thankful with every thought and breath, but we’re finding it easy to take God for granted.”
“And if you had told us at the time we came to Christ,” Maddie put in, “that we would not be as excited a few months down the road, we would have argued with you. But we both can grow discontented if we don’t remember what we’ve learned from God’s Word.”
“It’s about the hard work,” Jace continued. “At first it’s so easy to praise God and be obedient. When time passes and the same is required, that’s when the first temptations to complain and be unthankful visit.”
“And if you don’t fight them,” Troy agreed, “they become all too commonplace.”
Valerie slept during their meal, and the afternoon turned into a long one. Not until the men went to the office to look at a book Troy had purchased did the women retire to the large parlor with the baby, giving them a chance to visit.
“Are you expecting?” Reese asked first.
“No,” Maddie answered with a sigh. “I was somewhat disappointed, but things are busy right now, and we’re all right with waiting. How are you feeling, Reese?”
“I’m feeling well,” Reese confirmed, holding Valerie in her arms. “A bit emotional at times, but not too tired.”
“How do you do in the heat?”
“Some days I get so little done. It can be frustrating.”
“How many more weeks to go?”
“About 12. It feels like a long time.”
“Well, you look great—your color and everything.”
Reese looked down at her very round stomach. She needed only one arm to hold the baby because she fit on the top of her stomach so well. Reese studied the baby’s face, still drowsy with sleep, and coaxed a small smile from her.
“Every time I see Val or Corina, I want a girl,” Reese told her guest.
“They’re fun little people.”
“Is Val five or six months?”
“Right in between,” Maddie answered. “I just remembered I wanted to see the baby’s room. Did you finish the wall?”
“I did.” Reese answered with pleasure and stood. “Come up and see it.”
To the women’s surprise, the men had beaten them to the room. Conner and Troy were showing the room and Reese’s wall mural to Jace. Both Randalls were sincere in their praise of Reese’s artistic abilities. Reese only smiled and thanked them quietly, but the pride she saw in Conner’s eyes made her heart swell with contentment.
Sunday had turned into Scottie’s day alone. Iris had not come on Sundays since Eli and Scottie were married, and although Finn took his meals with them and worked around the house and yard, he now lived in his own home on the green, so she didn’t see him on
Sundays either.
Not until she had the house to herself did Scottie think about the fact that up until now, she had been rarely alone. This had never bothered her, and since Eli’s death, she was actually enjoying this day of solitude in her own home.
Today, however, was a bit different. Today she was getting ready to go into Eli’s room for the first time since she’d cleaned. Scottie was not sure she was altogether happy with her husband. It was too late to speak to him in person, but she thought she might feel closer to him if she went into his room. And in her hurting mind, she thought that feeling closer to him might help her to accept that he’d felt a need to talk to Dannan.
She had so many questions for Eli Peterson. What had his view of her really been? Had he thought her helpless? Had she not known him as well as she thought?
Without warning, Scottie realized how much Eli had been able to control from his bed. It wasn’t a bad thing—after all, he had rental properties to manage. But Scottie suddenly realized that the entire household had revolved around him. He was her husband. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be? And he couldn’t have survived without Finn, so Finn’s life had to revolve around Eli. And what would they have all done without Iris?
Without even realizing it, Scottie had made her way to Eli’s room. She stood by the bed, tears pouring down her face, trying not to feel so lost.
“Maybe you were right,” she whispered to him. “Maybe I do need a keeper, but you’ve made me feel a little bit defective, Eli. You’ve made me feel as though the only way someone would want me is if you asked him to marry me.”
More tears found their way down Scottie’s face, but she felt better. Voicing those thoughts actually lifted some of the load. She did not have to have Eli physically present to know he would say that was the last thing he intended, but Scottie wasn’t sure if it still might be a bit true. Another marriage had not been on her mind and probably wouldn’t have been if not for Dannan’s words.