LETTER XXV
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWETHURSDAY AFTERNOON.
You pain me, Miss Howe, by the ardour of your noble friendship. I willbe brief, because I am not well; yet a good deal better than I was; andbecause I am preparing an answer to your's of the 13th. But, beforehand, I must tell you, my dear, I will not have that man--don't be angrywith me. But indeed I won't. So let him be asked no questions about me,I beseech you.
I do not despond, my dear. I hope I may say, I will not despond. Is notmy condition greatly mended? I thank Heaven it is!
I am no prisoner now in a vile house. I am not now in the power of thatman's devices. I am not now obliged to hide myself in corners for fearof him. One of his intimate companions is become my warm friend, andengages to keep him from me, and that by his own consent. I am amonghonest people. I have all my clothes and effects restored to me. Thewretch himself bears testimony to my honour.
Indeed I am very weak and ill: but I have an excellent physician, Dr. H.and as worthy an apothecary, Mr. Goddard.--Their treatment of me, mydear, is perfectly paternal!--My mind too, I can find, begins tostrengthen: and methinks, at times, I find myself superior to mycalamities.
I shall have sinkings sometimes. I must expect such. And my father'smaledict----But you will chide me for introducing that, now I amenumerating my comforts.
But I charge you, my dear, that you do not suffer my calamities to sittoo heavily upon your own mind. If you do, that will be to new-pointsome of those arrows that have been blunted and lost their sharpness.
If you would contribute to my happiness, give way, my dear, to your own;and to the cheerful prospects before you!
You will think very meanly of your Clarissa, if you do not believe, thatthe greatest pleasure she can receive in this life is in your prosperityand welfare. Think not of me, my only friend, but as we were in timespast: and suppose me gone a great, great way off!--A long journey!----Howoften are the dearest of friends, at their country's call, thus parted--with a certainty for years--with a probability for ever.
Love me still, however. But let it be with a weaning love. I am not whatI was, when we were inseparable lovers, as I may say.--Our views must nowbe different--Resolve, my dear, to make a worthy man happy, because aworthy man make you so.--And so, my dearest love, for the present adieu!--adieu, my dearest love!--but I shall soon write again, I hope!