LETTER XLV
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS ARABELLA HARLOWEFRIDAY, JULY 21.
If, my dearest Sister, I did not think the state of my health veryprecarious, and that it was my duty to take this step, I should hardlyhave dared to approach you, although but with my pen, after having foundyour censures so dreadfully justified as they have been.
I have not the courage to write to my father himself, nor yet to mymother. And it is with trembling that I address myself to you, to beg ofyou to intercede for me, that my father will have the goodness to revokethat heaviest part of the very heavy curse he laid upon me, which relatesto HEREAFTER; for, as to the HERE, I have indeed met with my punishmentfrom the very wretch in whom I was supposed to place my confidence.
As I hope not for restoration to favour, I may be allowed to be veryearnest on this head: yet will I not use any arguments in support of myrequest, because I am sure my father, were it in his power, would nothave his poor child miserable for ever.
I have the most grateful sense of my mother's goodness in sending me upmy clothes. I would have acknowledged the favour the moment I receivedthem, with the most thankful duty, but that I feared any line from mewould be unacceptable.
I would not give fresh offence: so will decline all other commendationsof duty and love: appealing to my heart for both, where both are flamingwith an ardour that nothing but death can extinguish: therefore onlysubscribe myself, without so much as a name,
My dear and happy Sister,Your afflicted servant.
A letter directed for me, at Mr. Smith's, a glover, in King-street, Covent-garden, will come to hand.