LETTER LXII
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HARLOWESATURDAY, JULY 29.
I repine not, my dear Sister, at the severity you have been pleased toexpress in the letter you favoured me with; because that severity wasaccompanied with the grace I had petitioned for; and because thereproaches of mine own heart are stronger than any other person'sreproaches can be: and yet I am not half so culpable as I am imaginedto be: as would be allowed, if all the circumstances of my unhappy storywere known: and which I shall be ready to communicate to Mrs. Norton, ifshe be commissioned to inquire into them; or to you, my Sister, if youcan have patience to hear them.
I remembered with a bleeding heart what day the 24th of July was. I beganwith the eve of it; and I passed the day itself--as it was fit I shouldpass it. Nor have I any comfort to give to my dear and ever-honouredfather and mother, and to you, my Bella, but this--that, as it was thefirst unhappy anniversary of my birth, in all probability, it will be thelast.
Believe me, my dear Sister, I say not this merely to move compassion, butfrom the best grounds. And as, on that account, I think it of thehighest importance to my peace of mind to obtain one farther favour, Iwould choose to owe to your intercession, as my sister, the leave I beg,to address half a dozen lines (with the hope of having them answered as Iwish) to either or to both my honoured parents, to beg their lastblessing.
This blessing is all the favour I have now to ask: it is all I dare toask: yet am I afraid to rush at once, though by letter, into the presenceof either. And if I did not ask it, it might seem to be owing tostubbornness and want of duty, when my heart is all humilitypenitence. Only, be so good as to embolden me to attempt this task--write but this one line, 'Clary Harlowe, you are at liberty to write asyou desire.' This will be enough--and shall, to my last hour, beacknowledged as the greatest favour, by
Your truly penitent sister,CLARISSA HARLOWE.