Though they traveled at a swift pace, it felt that they were meandering through rugged mountain foothills for weeks. Mira and Antares had been acting odd after their harrowing escape. They kept a watchful eye on Orin, Antares practically stalking him. When Shawna tried to ask them why they were acting like Orin was their prisoner they just denied her claims. Orin pretended not to notice or care.
“Tell me what’s going on, or I’m not taking another step,” she finally insisted of Mira one day. “You never answered about that bear, where it might have come from. You don’t tell me why you keep watching Orin. You don’t talk to me about anything.”
Everyone else was either ahead of them or, like Lula, off looking for food. Mira turned around and snorted.
“It does not concern you.”
“Does not concern me? I’m the one with special powers you’re all guarding, remember? And if it concerns him, then it concerns me.” She glowered, arms crossed, and stood firm. The sword was tied around her waist by a strap Orin had given her.
Mira pranced in place for a second before she shook her mane, her ears back, and said, “You will continue walking, and you will not ask me such questions.”
She felt her leg start to twitch, but she fought against the desire to move and took a deep breath. “I will not, and I will.”
Mira looked ready to throw a tantrum herself. Shawna wondered what a unicorn tantrum might look like. She didn’t have to wait long. Mira exhaled through wide nostrils, laid her ears flat, threw her head high, and stamped the ground with her front feet. Slivers of rock ricocheted in every direction.
“Walk.” She thrashed her tail.
Shawna almost moved again. “No. Tell me first.”
Mira tossed her head. The whites of her eyes flashed as she half reared then slammed her feet back into the ground, flame curling up her legs. Shawna raised an eyebrow, realizing that the outburst was because Mira’s power had probably never been defied before. She smirked.
With one last snort Mira said, “Do not get too close to that boy.”
Shawna narrowed her eyes.
“I cannot feel a falsehood in his heart,” Mira continued. “Either he is telling the truth, or else he is powerful enough to hide it from me, but after what Antares observed I am not sure he can be fully trusted.”
“Can’t trust him?” Shawna uncrossed her arms. “Why?”
“That may not have been Capella’s bat. It may have been an imposter. Antares is almost certain he saw the pink bat fly ahead of us the day Karuna’s people found us. He also believes the bat and the bear were perhaps one in the same.”
“The same?”
“A shape-shifter which would make our pursuer very powerful indeed.”
Shawna couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“And you think Orin had something to do with that? Then why did he try to save Spar…the imposter? He swore to help us.”
“Did you see him try?” Mira turned her head to look up the path winding through old twisted trees.
Shawna followed her gaze. Had he tried to save Sparkle? She couldn’t remember exactly. Of course he’d tried.
Mira ignored the mutinous looks thrown at her when she turned back around. “We’re not sure where his loyalties lie. He’s proven himself thus far. Still, we’re not taking chances.” Her eyes sparked with intensity. “I don’t want you taking chances. Stay away from him as much as possible, and say nothing of this to him.”
“That’s just…speculation,” said Shawna to Mira’s retreating tail as she continued on up the path. “You just want to distrust him. He swore to protect me!”
Mira laid her ears back. If she hadn’t been scolded to keep her distance she may have heeded the warning, but some defiant side of her wanted to rebel.
They’re being unreasonable. Keep my distance. Ridiculous.
Orin came jogging back to them, nimbly dodging the uneven ground, and threw her a dashing smile before glancing at Mira then back at her. She smiled in return, glanced down, and felt a flutter in her stomach that flew up to her chest like tiny wings tickling her throat. When she looked up again, he had turned and disappeared into the woods, probably to look for their supper tonight. Antares appeared and slunk after him. He wouldn’t betray us. But the memory of him staring indifferently at the doomed bat flitted across her mind. He wouldn’t. However, there was one thing on her mind, like iron hands, heavier than even her suspicions towards Orin.
After they had found a protected area to sleep, and everyone was lying down for the night, she began walking slowly towards the forest. Mira noticed her retreat and nearly trotted after her, but decided to let her be when Shawna sat down upon a fallen log.
She needs to be with her own thoughts, Mira said to herself. I cannot protect her from her own fears. Then, abruptly, Mira felt a sharp pang of loss she had not felt in a long time. A painful memory tried to reawaken, but she stamped it down into the recesses of her past. Eventually she fell into a restless sleep. Lula was snoring along with Sparkle, Antares was growling from a dream, and Orin was curled under his fur blanket.
Shawna was alone for once. She hugged a knee to her chest as she sat on the log. When deep night began to cover her sleeping companions, she quietly slipped away. I won’t go far. But soon her feet were carrying her further and further into the forest.
“I can’t do this,” she kept saying to herself like a mantra. I can’t let everyone keep believing in this stupid quest, or in me. I’ll end up killing everyone, almost have already. These thoughts continued to cycle like boulders, rolling faster and faster through her mind and causing avalanches of doubt and self-surrender. She had no idea where she was going just that the opposite direction in the way she had been going seemed like the best path. The consideration of anyone following her, even the possibility of molochs, didn’t grab her diverted attention until she smacked into a tree, and a voice cut through the symphony of crickets.
“Having fun walking into trees?”
She nearly jumped out of her skin and reflexively threw her sword up, waving it blindly around like a maniac.
“You’re going to slice your pretty face off,” a masculine voice said from somewhere close. “Or worse, my pretty face.”
She gasped. “Orin?”
He stepped into the scant moon light as soon as she stopped trying to decapitate herself.
He said ‘pretty,’ her silly mind said gleefully, forgetting everything else. Her ‘pretty’ face flushed, and she was grateful it was dark.
“You’re not exactly the best at escaping, you know. You stomp around louder than a cross-eyed cyclops.”
She smiled, relieved, until she realized she was actually angry that he had followed her.
“Don’t stop me,” she said, turning and stomping off into the woods again, hands searching for more invisible tree trunks.
He jogged up to her, amazingly silent and stealthy considering she could barely see ten feet in front of her face. He grabbed her shoulder, and she allowed herself to give in to his persuasive touch. It didn’t occur to her that she wanted him to stop her. Some part of her pretended she was being rebellious but just too weak to fend off his strong grip. She caught herself mutely staring at the faint light reflecting off his lips, eyes, and framing his jaw. He had been staring as well, his hand still curled over her shoulder. He let go and stepped back.
“Where are you going?” he said.
She had to stop herself from taking a step forward. “I can’t do this.”
She suddenly wondered if she had meant their perilous journey, or the perilous feelings that swelled up in her every time he touched her. She thought of Mira’s warning, but waved it away and took a deep breath. Her heart was hammering so hard that she felt light headed.
“Everyone’s almost been killed because of this,” she began. “Because you all believe in something that’s not true!” She didn’t think she was going to yell, but here she was, erupting like a volcano, letting the whole forest know about it.
br /> “I’m not a powerful sorceress. I have no idea what I’m doing, or how, or why. I don’t want this. I don’t care about this!” She waved her hands at him dismissively. “We’re having a great time and all, running from monsters, fighting evil things, or whatever, but I…am done. I’m done. I’m going back home, somehow, to my real home. My real family. My real life.” She turned to leave again, this time determined to let nothing, not even a tree, stop her.
“But this is real.”
She halted like she’d walked into a brick wall, her breath caught in her chest. She made to take a step again, but he grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear, “this is real.”
She turned around. They were face to face.
“What do you mean?” she said, trying to hold onto any vestige of her former determination to abandon everything.
All she felt now was an abandonment of herself, there was nothing and no one, but Orin. He was so close she felt the warmth radiating from his muscles. His arms wrapped around her, pressing their bodies together, their lips almost touching. Then before she knew what was happening, he pressed his lips to hers and everything disappeared. Her fear, her doubt, her anger, their journey, all evaporated leaving only this moment, this reality.
He pulled away. No, her mind reeled, trying to stay in that wonderful moment. No, stay close. But he was releasing her, resisting her as she reluctantly let that moment fade like a daydream. He still had his arms around her waist, and hers around his, as he looked down at her.
“Don’t run away,” he said. The sound of his voice lulled and calmed her mind. “I know it seems difficult, or impossible, but we all believe in you. I believe in you.” She smiled at this. “You can do this, and only you.” He smiled. She felt intoxicated. “Let me help you.”
Something about his words seemed comforting, yet…
“It’s just a necklace. It doesn’t have to be a chain anymore. Let me take it for you.”
Let me take it for you, echoed in her mind. Yes, her mind answered. Give it to him. He’s stronger. He’s the one that should be doing this, not you. You’re weak. Trust him. Trust him…
She made to lift it off her chest, the stones felt heavy as lead, and she was glad to be rid of it. Besides, Orin was the warrior. It made so much more sense if it were his responsibility. It was almost over her head when noises rustled in the bushes. Someone was coming towards them. She paused, looking for the source of the footsteps, letting the leather strap fall over her ears again, and the sapphires fall across her collar bones. Antares and Mira stepped out from the underbrush; her bright horn cast long shadows about them. Shawna hadn’t noticed Orin quickly move away from her, his jaw clenched, right before they were interrupted.
“I found her,” he said, as if no interaction but this had ever happened between them.
Mira looked at him, suspicion flashing in her eyes. She turned away from him and stepped over to Shawna. Antares grumbled. Orin glared at him, and his grumble turned into a haughty sniff.
“What do you think were you doing?” Mira said.
Her voice rattled Shawna back to the present situation. She blinked, looked at Mira and thought how strange it was to see a resemblance of her chastising step-mother in the angry face of a unicorn. She suddenly felt like a stupid child, running off into the night, alone, into danger, like she was jumping through her window with her step-mother’s diamond cross. But this wasn’t Montana. This wasn’t even a world she knew. There were no buzzing insects, or small creatures rustling under leaves. Instead, there were large ferocious monsters lurking in these woods searching for her, wanting to kill her. She realized facing the monstrosity Karuna hadn’t been idiotic. This was idiotic…and cowardly.
“Whether the rest of us agree with your actions or not,” said Mira, “you are free to make your own decisions. I may be your guardian, but do what you think you must.”
Instantly Shawna felt forlorn and upset with her own behavior. Who was she to think she could just run away from it all? Like that would solve everything, or silence the pernicious voices in her head. She let the shame of her decision wash over her as Mira and Antares turned to walk back. They knew she would follow. She glanced up, looking for Orin, hoping for sympathetic eyes, for that connection they had only minutes ago, but he was not there. He had gone on ahead.
He thinks I’m a frightened little girl for running off like that. And he’s right. I am. She glared at the roots that tried to trip her and drag her to her knees as they made their way through the dark. She climbed over the fallen log and stepped into their clearing. Lula had been oblivious to the whole ordeal, happily asleep in a puff-pod. Shawna looked for Orin, but he was already huddled against a tree with his back to her. She sighed, and went to lie down against Mira’s warm side. Nearly all night she remained awake, thinking, listening to Mira’s deep breaths, and glancing towards Orin’s silhouette. When birds began to sing, calling on dawn, she finally closed her eyes.