"Have I told you how much I love you?"
"Not as much as I love you. I can't stand the thought of not being here should you need me." Worry creased his brow as he stared down at her. "I know you're keeping something from me."
"What?" she gasped.
"You've been whispering and cutting off your family for days whenever I come near. I'm not stupid, Shara. But I trust you. Whatever it is, I'm sure you have your reasons. I won't pry, even though it's killing me."
"Jules--"
"It's okay. Really. I don't want to fight my last night here. I just want to savor these precious few hours."
"I hate the way you say that. It's like you're not coming back."
"I fully intend to. But you never know what the gods are planning and I have a lot of enemies who want me dead. In case they decide another fate, I don't want your last memory of me to be a bad one."
In that moment, she almost told him about the baby. But she couldn't. Instead, she pulled him to the bedroom and stripped him bare. Then spent the rest of the night making sure that he would definitely want to come home to her as soon as possible.
*
Jullien woke up almost an hour late to the sound of Vasili knocking on their bedroom door.
"Mama? Paka?"
Yawning, he gently shook Ushara awake. "We overslept, Vas. We'll be out in a minute."
"Okay. I'll start breakfast."
"Oh good grief!" Ushara shot out of bed as she saw the time.
"Guess you're showering first," Jullien called after her.
She mumbled something unintelligible from the bathroom. Reaching for his link, he quickly texted Davel to let him know he was running late.
Ushara came running out a few minutes later. "You're up."
He went to the shower while she frantically pulled her uniform out of the closet and set about dressing. Suppressing a smile, he quickly bathed and dressed. Then went to join them in the kitchen.
Ushara handed him his juice. "Davel came and grabbed your bags. He said to put it in gear and get to the bay."
Vas swallowed his toast. "She's politely paraphrasing his words for my delicate sensibilities."
"Yeah. Knowing Davel's vocabulary, I don't doubt that." Jullien grabbed a piece of toast from Vas's stack and hugged him. "I better go."
Ushara winced. "I'm not sure I can do this, after all."
"I'm one heartbeat away. You can feel me anytime you need to." He touched his band and sent it to her finger, then kissed her.
"Stay safe. I will kill Davel if any harm befalls you."
"I'm more worried about the two of you. No wild parties while I'm gone."
When she started for the door, he stopped her. "Stay with Vas. It'll be easier. Just pretend I'm heading for the bay to work with Sheila, and that I'll be home tonight."
She swallowed against the tears that choked her. "Okay."
As he started to leave, she pulled him to a stop. He arched a curious brow as she unwrapped his scarf from around his neck.
"I need something with your scent on it. I won't be able to sleep otherwise."
Smiling at her, he brushed his thumb along her jaw. "Anything else?"
She wrapped his scarf around her neck. "I'm good."
Jullien tied his coat back so that he could access his blasters and headed out. In spite of his brave talk, he was sick to his stomach at the thought of leaving. This was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. Every step he took felt like it was gutting him.
It was effing brutal.
By the time he reached the bay, he wanted to stab Davel. In the throat. With something dull and rusted.
But as he passed Sheila's office, he slowed down. There was a group of Septurnum Tavali there. Outsiders, and they were as pissed as he was.
"Can I help you?"
They turned to glower at him.
"You work here?"
"I know the owner. What do you need?"
"Where is she?"
Jullien wasn't about to give them any information about her. "What do you need?" he repeated in an icy, demanding tone.
"My brother was the captain of the Razor's Edge. He was brutally killed by the Caronese and this was his last stop before they got him. I'm here to get answers and kill whatever bastard cost my brother his life."
CHAPTER 18
Well, since the bastard who caused your brother to be killed by his enemies was me, I probably shouldn't comment on that. Jullien stared at the Septurnum crew and decided that feigned ignorance would be the best course of action. "Not sure what exactly you want with us.... If the Caronese killed your brother, why are you here?"
"This was his last stop."
"You said that."
"He left his ship here and took out on a Caronese battleship with his crew and I want to know why. My brother didn't do things like that. I'm thinking someone here forced him to it, knowing they'd kill him for it. That's the bastard I want."
Again, that would be me. But since your brother had planned to gut me for no other reason than he was an asshole ...
Fuck him, and you.
Jullien smiled coldly at him. "Their ship had been damaged in battle. They flew out and were supposed to come back for it and didn't. The Caronese got them, you said? Damn shame, that."
The Tavali pirate came up and raked a glare over Jullien. "You seem to know a lot about this." His gaze narrowed on Jullien's sleeve. "Cock? Aren't you a little old for such a low rank?"
"Hey? What's taking you so long, now?" Davel paused as he saw the other crew in front of Jullien. "What's going on?"
"I was taking out some trash before I left."
The Septurnum stepped forward to intrude on Jullien's personal space ... something highly unwise when dealing with an Andarion. "Who you calling trash, candy-ass?"
Davel inserted himself between them as he noted the flaring of Jullien's nostrils. "My brother isn't a morning creature. Could I be of service to you?"
Jullien stepped back. "He wants information about the Razor's crew. Apparently, the Caronese ate them after they left here and he's raw about it."
"What's that got to do with us?"
"That's what I said." Jullien crossed his arms over his chest. "They put in here for repairs. Sheila did the intake, they departed in another ship they'd captured with their cargo, and when they didn't return to pay for the repairs and pick up the Razor, she salvaged it."
Davel turned back to the Septurnum. "So what's your problem?"
"My brother wouldn't abandon his ship, which was paid for. I think he was set up."
"You got any proof?" Davel challenged him.
"No."
"Then take it to the UTC or Hinto. You don't come into our station and start making accusations at folks. Bad form."
"Look, Commander..." he dropped his gaze to Davel's name patch, "Altaan, I want to speak to whoever is in charge here. And I want to speak to them now."
Davel lifted his chin. "That would be my sister and his," he cocked his head toward Jullien, "wife. I can assure you that VA Samari will tell you the same thing I just did. And if you upset her, I'll feed you to her husband who is an extremely vicious bastard when his wife is stirred. The Caronese will be the least of your worries then. Now, if you really do think there was foul play, then go to your own command. Gadgehe Hinto will contact our admiral, and he and Trajen can work things out. That's how we do things peacefully."
"I want to talk to the one who salvaged the ship."
"You're talking to him," Jullien said drily. "I cut the bitch up myself. Personally."
"Under whose authority?"
"I told you. SOP. We were owed creds. Had no name or way of contacting the owner. No one returned to claim it. We can't have that kind of debt tied-up on a ship that's not running. After two months of storage-dock, she was divested of our work. Three months, I started stripping for stray parts. The original crew took their personals with them. Left nothing behind. Which also made me think they had no intention of returning. I assu
med the ship was stolen since the numbers they used for docking were washed. Another reason we didn't want it here. No idea who might come looking for it and be pissed to find it hiding under our banners."
Davel shrugged. "There you have it. He speaks the truth. That is the standard by which all Tavali bases work. You know the protocol."
"Still don't seem right." He narrowed his gaze on Jullien. "We're going, but if I find out there's more to this, I will be back."
Jullien didn't move as he watched them walk away.
Davel didn't speak until the Seps were on board their ship and getting ready to leave. He turned his back to them and faced Jullien. "There was more to it than that bullshit you were spewing, wasn't there?"
He gave a subtle nod.
"Do we need to warn Shara?"
"Trajen's the one his brother crossed. I don't think they want to talk to him about it. But if they do..."
"I want to be the spider in the room for that." Davel clapped him on the back, then led him toward his ship. "All right. I got your gear stored. Because you are family and I know how little you tolerate others, I pulled you out of gen-pop to give you your own room. It's not much, but it is private space. My Fyreblood crew is warned to be gentle with you. This is not Kirill's ship. You have a problem with anyone, tell me before you put them through a wall. My stryper's named Gallatin, and she's in charge of most of the cocks and baits. Since she's also a commander, refer to her as XO, strype, firstmate, or SIX. She's fair, but a hot-tempered human ... who is currently glaring at us.... What? I bathed this time."
Lithe and athletic, Gallatin had jet-black hair and eyes with grayish skin that was strangely attractive. She had a commanding presence in spite of the fact that she barely reached the center of Jullien's chest.
And she didn't flinch at all over the irritation in her CO's tone of voice. "Supposed to leave half an hour ago, Commander."
"Well, we're leaving now. Let's not dally."
She pressed her forefinger to the center of her forehead before she narrowed her gaze on Jullien. "Dagger?"
"XO?"
She nodded. "You're my shadow till you get used to the crew, who, with the exception of me, is all Fyreblood. Have you any flying experience?"
"A lot."
"Pilot?"
"Yes."
"Licensed?"
"Yes."
"With practical hours?"
"Only with combat experience and leisure. Not commercial."
She arched a happy brow at that. "Ever crash?"
"Not intentionally."
Laughing, she clapped him on the arm. "I love this male. All right, Captain Krunch, are you taking us out?" she asked Davel.
"For that, I am. You can give him the tour."
She groaned as Davel headed for what must be the flight deck.
Jullien arched a brow at Gallatin. "Captain Krunch?"
"So named for his wonderful landing capabilities."
"Oh, goodie."
She laughed even harder. "Someone who gets my sarcasm. You will fit in well here, my child. Welcome to the family. I only have one more question ... outstanding warrants? Who do I need to hide you from?"
*
Ushara went by her parents' house to pick up Vasili. Like her, he'd avoided going home today. Neither wanted to be there without Jullien. Strange how it didn't seem like home anymore without him there.
The thought of being in the condo now ...
It hurt so much she could barely breathe.
She pushed opened open the door to find her mother at the table with a huge meal laid out across the top of it. "What in the name of Saint Sarn is this?"
Her mother sat back with an amused twist to her lips. "You tell me."
"Tell you what?"
Vas looked up with a huge grin. "Paka sent it for us."
"What?"
Her mother nodded. "It was actually scheduled for your house, but when they called Vasili's link for the delivery, we had them bring it here." She picked up a pair of very pink fluffy socks that were in a small basket with a note. "I accidentally opened this and read the note before I realized it was meant exclusively for you. Sorry."
Ushara bit her lip as tears gathered in her eyes at the sight of something only Jullien would think to give her. Her hand trembled as she picked up the note to read it.
Shara,
I know how tired you've been lately in the evenings, and I wanted to make sure you're still able to nap when you get home. Don't worry about dinner. I've taken care of it for you in my absence. I just wish I were there to hold you right now. I miss our naked cuddle time. Will be home as soon as I can.
Ever your darkheart
She sniffed back tears as she held the note to her chest and looked at the steak and vegetables. He'd made sure to send over her favorite foods from the diner they'd first gone to.
"They said that Paka had arranged for dinner to be brought over every night for us so that you wouldn't have to cook when you got home."
Her mother nodded. "And he left a dated note and gift to be brought with it for every day he's supposed to be away, too. Misha said it was the sweetest thing he'd ever seen. He also paid for their sister to come by and straighten up once a week and help do laundry, and any shopping you need. If you leave a list or e-mail it, she'll take care of it while you're at work. Jullien also has a tutor who'll be working with Vasili so that you don't have to stress with his homework."
Ushara gaped. "Are you serious?"
She nodded. "He arranged it all. Said he didn't want you to have to worry about anything while he was away."
Ushara wiped at her eyes as his kindness overwhelmed her. "I can't believe he did all this."
Her mother paused as she sorted through the food. "Did you tell him about the baby?"
"No. He doesn't know yet."
Her mother let out an elongated breath. "Then I take back every ill thought I ever had about him. Go call your husband, precious. Give him my very best."
"Thank you, Mama." Ushara made a quick plate and took it home before she called and hoped that it went through.
*
Jullien was just coming off his maintenance shift when he felt his arm vibrate. His heartbeat sped up as he thought about Ushara and he reached for his link to see if everything was all right.
It rang with her tone.
Worried, he answered it as he entered his room and then went to lie down on his narrow bunk. "Hey. Are you okay?"
"Your presents arrived. So tell me, honestly ... were you afraid I'd poison your son with my cooking?"
He smiled at her question. "Well ... he is a bit underweight for his height."
She sent over a request for video.
Jullien switched it on and was greeted by her beautiful face. "Are you mad at me for it?"
"Why would I be mad?"
"I don't know. I debated whether or not I should do it. I didn't want to insult you, but I know cooking and homework aren't your favorite things to do either. I just wanted to make sure you were cared for since I wasn't there to help you with it and I know how busy and stressful everything's been lately."
"It was so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you." She made a kissing face at him. "So how's my brother treating you? You need me to beat him up?"
He laughed. "Nah. I think I can take him. Just don't want you to hold it against me if I do have to beat his ass." He traced the lines of her face on his screen, wishing he were there with her so that he could feel the softness of her skin beneath his fingers. "Hey now, don't look so sad."
"Can't help it. I miss you so much. It's like a vital part of me is gone, and it hurts."
"Yeah, but remember, it's not the part that's good for you, anyway. I'm the part that hogs all the covers and steals your sweets."
She laughed. "And who lets me bury my cold feet under him at night and never complains about them." She burst into tears.
Jullien froze at the sound of her utter misery. It was the first time anyone had ever cried like th
is for him. He'd only seen his mother weep for his brother in this manner. "Shara? Mu taru?"
"I'm sorry. I just really miss you. I forgot what it was like to need someone else this much and to have to live without them. You kind of snuck up on me."
"I'm not sure what to say to that."
"That you love me and you'll be home safe and sound as soon as you can."
"You know I do and that I will. I've never loved anyone but you."
That made her cry even harder.
Jullien sat up, feeling all kinds of worthless. "Honey? What did I do now?"
"It's not you ... well, it is you, but it's not."
He felt completely helpless and lost. "Shara, you're killing me. I can't stand for you to be in pain and not be there to help."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's just a hormonal thing. I've been really emotional lately. It'll pass. I promise." And still she sobbed.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Just stay safe."
Suddenly, the ship's alarm rang out.
Her eyes widened. "You're under attack?"
"I'm sure it's nothing."
With a droll, irritated glare, she cocked her head at him. "That's an alarm for battle stations, Jules. It's not nothing."
"I know. I've got to go. I'll call when it's over. Love you."
"Love you, too. Be careful." She hung up.
Jullien tucked his link into his pocket as he rolled from the bunk to head for the bridge so that he could see what was going on. They weren't supposed to be anywhere near a League-controlled zone. Nor any kind of enemy territory. Since he was wanted so severely and Davel was a new father, this was supposed to be a low-risk training run. Simple in and out. Legal supplies, with legit paperwork. No complications.
They both should have known better.
As he entered the bridge, Jullien drew up short. A few feet away, Davel was engaged in a heated discourse with a League patrol and the last thing Jullien wanted was to be seen by anyone in a League uniform. While he'd been out of the limelight for years now, he still didn't want to chance anyone recognizing him from any of the media blitzes that had once run constantly against him.
Davel let out a tired breath as he reiterated his point. "We're an independent contractor on our way to pick up a shipment. I don't understand why you need to inspect us. You've got the live-feed on our cargo bay and can see it's currently empty."
"We have it on good authority that you're hauling contraband. Now prepare to be boarded and inspected, or we will be forced to attack."