"Are you here with just your crew?"
"Me sister and her crew came in with me. She lit out, but she's around."
"Yeah. I'm sure she had some Precious Cargo to see about."
Jupiter groaned out loud. "Ah, dear gods ... you know?"
Jullien hesitated as he saw the agonized expression on Jupiter's face. "You know?"
Grimacing, Jupiter motioned him in. "Can I trust you?"
"Of course."
"This be a big a secret, cade. And I'll know if you tell it. But since you know, I don't want you to be thinking bad things about me Mack. She and Ryn are married. But no one's to know, especially not our father. He'd flip it if he ever learned it."
"Seriously?"
He nodded. "They've been together since she was eighteen. It was about time he made an honest woman of her, if you ask me. Took the bastard long enough to put a ring on her finger. He's lucky I haven't killed him before now."
"Why the secrecy?"
"You know why we have St. Hestia's Day, right?"
"Yeah, she reunited the Tavali Nations into the single UTC after The League demanded The Tavali split into four separate companies and not call ourselves a single nation anymore."
"Right, but you know why St. Hestia did that?"
Jullien shook his head. "No. Not really."
Jupiter sighed. "Back in the day, Hestia Waring was the HAP of your Gorturnum Nation, and they were at constant war with the Wassies for territory. Some say she went after Isiah Dane who was the VA and heir of the Wasturnum Nation to seduce him so that she could use him against his father. Others say she loved him from the moment they met. However it began, they fell in love and united the two nations. Everything was going well until Dane and their son and crew took refuge from The League with one of me ancestors in the Septurnum Nation under Safe Harbor. Moglidice Hinto slaughtered them and Hestia Waring-Dane slaughtered him brutally for it. For two hundred and fifty years, the name Hinto was banned from all Tavali rolls and our Nation punished horribly for the deed. It's why we're still not really trusted by the other three Nations. So ... The UTC don't like for the sons and daughters of two high-ranking officials to hook up to begin with. To have a Hinto and Dane be married..." He screwed his face up. "Is a bit of scandal. See? And me da would be horrified. Ain't no telling how our Lady Tavali, Hermione Dane, would react to finding out her precious, only son done gone and married a Hinto. None of us want to be around for that explosion."
"Got it, and I'll take it to my grave."
"Good male. Now lead me into temptation, brother. For it is the one thing I cannot resist."
But as Jullien headed with him out of the bay, they ran into Jay and Ryna who were standing with two attractive Porturnum females. Something about them seemed very familiar.
And when Ryna called him over to introduce him, Jullien understood why.
"There he is. Jules, come meet Venik's daughters. Vyra and Lyssa. We were just talking about you."
"Really?"
Laughing, Ryna nodded. "They said that you're old friends with one of their brothers, and that he's told them a lot of fond stories about you. Apparently, you went to school together?"
Ryna's polite words made his blood run cold. Yet not half as much as the speculative glimmer in the pale eyes of the two Veniks as they studied him way too intently.
"Pleasure to finally meet you ... Dagger," Lyssa said.
Jullien slid a furious glare toward Jupiter who caught on fast that this wasn't a friendly exchange. Nyran was tempting the Korilon badly and involving innocents who should know better than to come between two Andarion males at war.
But if they were that stupid ...
"You're the crew of the Black Widow?" Jullien smiled.
"We are." Vyra glanced to her sister. "Why do you ask?"
"Making sure I have the correct crews matched to the right ships in my head, especially with those newer models. Their circuitry's so pissy these days. You never know when it's going to get a worm in it. Jam up and freeze at the damnedest time. It's why I don't fly them. They're terribly unreliable. Like some family members I know. Bastards turn on you when you least expect it. Leave you hanging out to dry, while they save their own asses. Got to be careful what you put your faith in. And whose battle you pick up to fight."
Lyssa lifted her chin as she caught Jullien's other meaning. "Porturnum doesn't work that way. Family backs family. Always."
"Do they?" He arched a sardonic brow. "You seriously might want to rethink the veracity of that statement. As I have much evidence to the contrary."
She glanced to Ryna and Jay. "Yet you expect loyalty from your family? What kind of hypocrite would hold others to such a higher standard given all the ones you've betrayed? Is there anyone you haven't knifed?"
"Hey now!" Jay snapped. "You don't insult our brother."
"Why not? He just threatened us."
Ryna started for Vyra, but Jullien caught her and forced her back.
"Don't. Just let it go."
"Listen to him, Fyreblood," Vrya spat. "And mark our words. To save his ass, he threw his own twin brother into jail. He cut the throat of his own cousin with his bare hands and shoved his pregnant sister-in-law into the hands of a rabid psychopath. You think he's changed? He hasn't. He can't. A lorina is incapable of changing its spots."
This time, Jullien went for them.
And Jory stopped him.
But not before Jullien saw the shadow in Jory's eyes that doubted him and believed what those bitches said. Worse? He saw it in Jay's eyes, too, and on Ryna's face.
No matter how hard he tried, he was still a worthless piece of shit. No one was ever going to allow him to forget the mistakes he'd made in his past. Not so long as Nyran and his grandmother lived.
There would never be peace for him. And they were never going to allow him to have a home he belonged in. Sooner or later, they would steal this from him, just as they'd taken everything else.
It was already beginning.
So help me, gods, I'm going to kill you both. One way or another, he was going to end this.
And them.
CHAPTER 22
Ushara glared at Jullien and her brother. "I can't believe you're even contemplating this. Every time he goes out, it ends badly."
Jullien cracked his most charming grin at her. "This time I'm instigating it. It's a small run, with Unira, to test the Pet Hate."
"The what?"
Unira laughed. "My former Stormbringer. Once Dagger finished the repairs, m'tana renamed my lady-ship Pet Hate."
Ushara scowled. "Why?"
"Seemed a fitting name for something I'll one day run, provided I ever make citizen."
Mary came up behind her and gave her a sisterly hug. "Let him go, bossy pants. We're all going out with him to cover his cute little bottom for you. He's got more guards than a Vistan virgin on her way to her wedding night."
Ushara laughed. "Thanks, Nightmare."
"No prob." She grinned at the priestess. "I'll be needing to confess this weekend, won't I?"
"I'll hold an appointment for you."
"Damn."
"An extra long one."
Mary let out a painful whimper.
"He has to get some hours in," Davel reminded her. "You know that."
"I know. Fine." Sighing, Ushara kissed Jullien. "Please be careful."
"I will."
"Okay." She kissed him again. "How long will you be gone?"
"Three days."
She cringed as dread filled her. In three days, there was no telling how much trouble her husband could fall into. He had a frightening ability to seek it out in the safest places. "Stay in touch."
"I will. Promise."
Sick to her stomach, she watched as they boarded their ships.
I should have never taken a base position. Had she stayed as a ship commander, she could have flown out with them. But she'd accepted the VA assignment so that she would be grounded to raise Vasili. As his only parent, she
'd wanted to make sure that she wouldn't be required to leave him for any reason.
Now it sucked.
Her heart heavy, she didn't move until they were gone. Then she returned to her office and turned on the news to make sure there was nothing going on anywhere, on any planet or outpost, that might threaten their safety.
And she meant nothing.
But as she flipped to the Andarion news, there was definitely something important happening. It was a day later in the Andarion empire, and festivities were in full swing for a massive birthday celebration. Citizens lined the decorated streets where music played and a parade was in motion. The way they carried on, she assumed it was for Cairistiona.
Until she saw the banners that were posted all over.
For Tahrs Nykryrian.
Her jaw went slack as that hit her like a slap across her face.
"Wait a minute..."
If was it Nykyrian's birthday, it would have to be Jullien's, too. They were twins, after all. Born only minutes apart, according to Jullien.
Why wouldn't he have mentioned it before he left?
Then again, Jullien had never said a word about his birthday, really. Other than the most generic things about his birth, he'd never really mentioned a specific date, or even a time of year for it.
Her stomach shrank as guilt shredded her over the fact that she'd never even thought to ask him about the date. Please tell me I haven't been this thoughtless ...
She went to her desk and pulled up his files.
No birth date was listed. So she went for his Andarion records, only to remember they'd been erased completely. He had no registration files left of any kind. Not even a library card.
She traced Nykyrian's and sure enough, the sixteenth of Ogronios, today, was his birthday. Tears filled her eyes as she realized that they'd met just a handful of days after his birthday, almost a year ago.
In her mind, she saw an image of how Jullien had looked that day.
Starved. Bedraggled. Half-dead and bleeding.
Lethal and desperate.
She couldn't believe how much had changed in so little time. Although Jullien still had trouble sleeping through the night and he didn't eat food unless he prepared it. Nor did he sit with his back to open doorways or cameras.
His hyper-vigilance continued. As did his paranoia.
Yeah, okay, in some ways, he hadn't changed at all.
But he had learned to cuddle. And he seemed to trust her. He sought out her company and Vas's, which for him was monumental.
Sometimes he even talked about things when they bothered him instead of withdrawing into himself and closing down.
Yet not a word about his birthday.
A part of her wanted to throw him a huge birthday party for his return. The kind her family was known for. But as she thought more about it, she remembered the way he was at any large family gathering. He always stood in a corner for the duration. While he'd interact with Nadya and her sisters whenever they'd tease at him, and Vasili and Davel's son and daughter, he didn't really look comfortable at any such event. More like he was visiting the dentist and they'd just run out of the last batch of painkiller and novocaine.
No, her introverted Jules wouldn't want a crushing celebration. He'd want something much more intimate and meaningful. Something that was a long time overdue.
*
"You're going to get us murdered. And that's just from my little sister should she find out I let you do this."
Jullien ignored Davel's dire tone as he grabbed a crash helmet from the closet. "Just be on standby in case I have to come in hot. This is something I have to do for my own peace of mind."
"Fine. Cald cadaire."
Jullien appreciated the Andarion sentiment since he would need all the luck he could get.
Without another word, he climbed into the fighter and launched. Honestly, he was a lot more nervous about this than he was letting on. He had no idea how this would go.
What he would find.
But he had to try.
Hoping for the best, Jullien headed the fighter into the oldest port on Eris. Time to put his new eyes to the test and see just how well stralen worked for him with a regular Ixurian Andarion population.
As soon as he landed in Eris, he popped the cockpit and climbed down. The landing bay's CP came over to grill him, but luckily bribes still worked on Andaria.
And so did his forged credentials.
Jullien pulled his collar up and took a deep breath as he headed for the street. He hadn't been home in five years. Not since the night Tylie had thrown him out and Kelsei had shot him and almost severed his spine.
He'd sworn he'd never come back here.
Damn you, Nyran.
Things had definitely changed. Not just because of the activity on the streets for Nyk's birthday celebration. Fashions were a lot less restrictive. Their soldiers weren't as heavily armed and the citizens seemed a lot happier.
He was also attracting a lot more attention than he wanted.
Irritated by it, Jullien pulled his sunglasses out and put them on as he did his best to blend in with the crowd. He drifted out, toward the river where the old drainage pipes had once allowed his grandmother's guards to float bodies out of the basement and dispose of them without being seen.
Now, those same pipes would hopefully allow him private access into the palace, provided Nyk and his mother didn't know about it and hadn't destroyed them.
Hoping and praying, he held his breath until he located the old, rusted-out pipes. Unbelievably enough, they were fully intact. It appeared his mother and brother had no idea the vorgate existed. Lucky them. His mother must not have ever pissed her mother off as a girl.
Jullien crawled inside the smelly, filthy pipes and slowly made his way to his grandmother's private dungeon. Curling his lip in disgust, he turned his torch on and suppressed a shiver as old memories returned with a bloody vengeance. He hated being back here. But thank the gods his paranoia had been such that he'd known one day he'd need evidence.
Experience had taught him not to keep it anywhere his family could get to it. Any place someone might stumble on it and out him.
Choking on bile and bitterness, and a potent rage that he hadn't tasted in a long time, he finally entered the vorgate and headed to the cell that had been reserved exclusively for his numerous stays here.
As he walked through the doorway of the tiny cell that was still decorated with his blood, a wave of painful memories hit him so forcefully that for a moment, he thought he might go down with it. His breathing became labored and for a moment, he was that child again. All the years of hopelessness. Of fear and horror.
Those feelings of being unwanted. Unloved. Undeserving of anything, even compassion or mercy.
Damn, how many years would have to go by before he could let this shit go?
Disgusted, he refused to think about it. Or them. They didn't matter anymore. None of them did. It was all in the past.
Think of Ushara. Vas.
The babies ...
That was the present. Not this shit-hole. But it was harder than even he had thought it would be. Damn.
Breathing slow and easy, he knelt on the floor next to the commode and removed the bricks from behind the bottom of it where he'd burrowed a small hiding spot. He'd once risked life and limb to secret the chips he'd stored down here.
And for a moment, he could see himself as a boy again, feel the pain of their cruelty ringing in his heart and ears. Tears stung his throat as he glanced around the walls where he'd carved the words JULLIEN INDURARI with his claws, over and over again to help himself stay sane.
It hadn't helped. Not really.
All he'd wanted was one day of peace. One family member to reach out to him and show him kindness. A modicum of compassion or care.
They never had.
Brushing at his eyes and refusing to let them have another minute of his life, he cleared his throat and tucked the chips in his pocket. As fast as he
could, he got out of the hole he'd hated with every fiber of his being.
Without thinking and because he was so upset, he made a wrong turn in the tunnels and came out inside the palace, instead of near the river where he was supposed to.
Shit!
He'd instinctively headed toward his old bedroom. That wouldn't have been so bad, except the door locked behind him and there was no way to access tunnels from this side without it being really obvious, since he was right outside the door for the head of the royal guard. And the only other access point was inside the tadara's bedchamber.
Yeah ...
His mother or one of her staff would definitely notice if he were to walk into her bedroom and access the doorway there.
With no choice except to brazen this out, he held his head high and put on his best royal swagger, then headed for the front of the palace.
"Excuse me?"
Titana rael ...
Grinding his teeth, Jullien inwardly cringed at the sound of Kelsei's deep, hostile voice. He turned ever so slightly toward her and prayed she didn't recognize him. "Yes?"
"Who are you, and what are you doing here?"
"I was separated from my tour group. Just trying to locate them."
She narrowed her gaze on him. "What's your name and caste?"
Shit. Time to get really brazen.
And extremely stupid.
He pulled his glasses down to show her his stralen eyes and let his sleeve fall back to discreetly reveal the tattoo on his arm that would add veracity to his lie. "I'm a War Hauk, obviously. Another reason I just want to get out of here. Mu Ger Tarra thought this would be amusing, and I just find it uncomfortable and in poor taste. So if you could point me to the nearest exit, I won't bother you anymore."
Kelsei relaxed and actually turned kind. Wow. He'd never witnessed a non-bitch expression on her face before. She was actually quite beautiful. No wonder Tylie was so devoted to her. He saw the attraction now. "I should have known, given your size and build, and carriage. What made you leave the military?"
"Merrell Anatole," he said, throwing his cousin under a shuttle since Merrell had single-handedly chased most of the Hauks out of the armada. And every Anatole and Hauk knew it.
"Oh. My apologies, Gur Tana, if I dredged up any bad memories."
Jullien didn't speak as they literally came face-to-face with Tylie who entered the hallway in front of them.
Son of a bitch, can't I catch one break today?
"Where have you been, Kels? I need--" Tylie's sentence stopped as she saw Jullien. She scowled. "Do I know you?"