"Seriously?"
He nodded. "Not much, and it drains me horribly. I'm not able to fight after I do it."
"Jules, that's amazing!"
He wrinkled his nose at her. "I owe it all to you."
"How do you figure?"
He swallowed as he fingered her cheek and stared at her with an adoration that left her breathless. "I was done that day I met you, Shara. I'd completely relegated my soul to the gods. Made my peace with this world. I was just waiting for the Korilon to come claim my rotten soul." He brushed his hand through her hair as he let out a breathless laugh.
"While I sat dying, this boy came in so full of piss and life. Fire and venom. I could only imagine the glorious mother who had birthed a son so strong and willing to stand against them. I knew you had to be incredible to give him that kind of confidence while surrounded by his enemies, especially at his age. He didn't wear that mantle of hopeless, betrayed fatigue that cloaked me at his age. Vas was indomitable. And then there you were like Kadora herself, ready to slay me for threatening your child. You were the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. And as I fell, I was so grateful that my last sight in a life that had been filled with nothing but brutal ugliness and violence was one of perfect beauty and grace--that just once before I died, I finally got to see an act of unrestrained and pure, untainted love."
"Jullien--"
He placed his finger over her lips to keep her from speaking. "You will always be my Darling star, Shara. Now that I have found you, not even death will keep me from you." He put his hand into his pocket. "Close your eyes, munatara."
She obeyed without question.
Chills rose along her skin as he placed a chain around her neck and his breath fell against her cheek. His fingers lingered there while he positioned the necklace to rest between her breasts. Then he placed the sweetest kiss to her lips. "Okay."
Love for him warmed her as she opened her eyes and looked down to see a beautiful round filigree gold locket that held an ornate white flower in the center.
It was the Kadora's rose. Legends said that it bloomed in the center of her garden in the heart of Eweyne. And that on the day when the gods Kadora and Asukar had created the Andarion race to be the absolute embodiment of war to fight for them and to worship them, that the goddess of balance, Eri gazed upon their beauty and wept, and said that they were perfection except for one thing.
They lacked heart. Warriors cannot fight if they cannot love. For battles are not won through the strength of a soldier's hand. They are won by the determination of a warrior's devotion to those he values more than himself.
We fight not for ourselves. We fight for our families and we cannot fight for our gods if we do not know how to love them.
And so determined Eri went to the garden of her sister and plucked the leaves of her sister's favorite flower, knowing that within its sweet petals was a serum so potent, it would open the warriors' eyes to the beauty of Andaria, and that once they saw the beauty, it would open their hearts and fill them with its sweet nectar and allow them to love their homeworld.
One by one, they were given drink distilled from that perfect, pristine rose. And as they tasted its sacred, oil-infused water, their eyes were opened and transformed into the pure Andarion white that was unique to their race. Through those eyes, they saw the beauty that surrounded them and wept, and through those tears, they learned to love and to value their gods and each other above all else.
To this day, that rose was the Andarion symbol for justice and balance. Most of all, it stood for eternal love and was a promise from one partner to the other that they would lay down their life for them.
Ushara stared up at Jullien through teary eyes. "You are ever determined to reduce me to a blubbering basket case, aren't you?"
He winced as if she'd wounded him. "Never my intent, mia. I only want to make you as happy as you make me."
"Oh, Jules ... that you do." She nipped his lips, then took his hand.
"Where are you taking me?"
"Home so that I can strip you bare and beat you."
"Gah, how sick am I that you made me harder than hell with just those words?" He pressed himself against her to prove it.
She squeaked. "Oh, good grief. That is frightening!"
"Well, it has been two months.... Have you any idea how miserable that is for an Andarion male?"
"At your age, your urges should be slowing down."
"Ach!" he groaned. "You wound me! A dig at my age--and on our anniversary, no less. That's so harsh. Besides, I'm still in my prime, and I'm not supposed to go more than eighty hours without sex, ninety-six, tops."
She was still tsking at him a few minutes later as she opened the door to their house. "Good thing you're stralen, then. I'd hate to be murdering another female and you."
He shut and locked the door behind them. "No worries there. Even if I wasn't stralen, I would never betray my vows. I'm an asshole and a bastard, not a faithless dog." He pulled her into his arms. "I would never take your heart for granted. Not after having lived for so long without it. I don't ever want to be banished to that lonely hell again."
Ushara was completely unprepared for the intensity of his kiss.
His breathing ragged, he pulled back to stare down at her with a raw, desperate hunger. "I need you, Shara. I swear I'll make it up to you all night long, but right now I have to have release."
Playfully biting at his lip, she whimpered in sympathetic pain for him as she reached for his fly. "My poor baby. It's fine. I know you will. You always do."
The relief on his face was comical as she lowered his pants for him. His breathing intensified as he pinned her gently to the wall with another scorching kiss and quickly peeled her uniform from her. Dipping his head down to suckle her breast, he entered her and made love with a frenzied need. Ushara cried out in pleasure as he filled her completely.
Normally, she would have been upset at him over the harried pace, but his desperation only proved to her that he'd kept faith with her, especially given how quickly he finished and the bashful expression on his face.
It was so sweetly endearing.
He groaned out loud in aggravation, then banged his head against the door.
Laughing, she kissed his cheek and tugged playfully at his whiskers. "Are you okay?"
"No. I'm as irritated by that as you were. It was way too quick for both of us." He brushed his fangs along her collarbone. "But I'm far from finished for the night." He pulled his pants up, then carried her to the bedroom, where he spent the rest of the night making good on his promise, and reminding her of how much of an oral fixation her Ixurian had been cursed with.
By the time she fell asleep in his arms, she was completely sated and worn out.
*
Ushara wrinkled her nose at Jullien's new blond hair and smooth cheeks. She was so used to his dark bewhiskered looks that it was like meeting a stranger whenever he shaved all traces of his beard-shadow away. "You look so strange like this."
"I would have thought you'd prefer it."
She shook her head. "I love my darkheart. I have no desire to change you."
"Glad to hear it." He stared at himself in the mirror as if trying to get used to it as well. "It is weird."
"'Cause it looks so natural for you. Like this, you can easily pass as a Fyreblood. Trajen's right." She handed him her link, where she had a picture of Edon Samari she'd found from old archive files. "You are his clone. It's chilling, really."
Jullien shuddered as he compared it to his reflection. "It's so spooky to look so much like someone you've never met. Who died so long before I was even born."
"Yeah. You're definitely going to screw with her head."
And that made him smile like a cat locked in a creamery. "This will get her off my mother's and brother's backs. And your family's. She won't have time to screw with your lives, and plot a takeover while I have her on the run."
"That is true. But what about your Tavali training?"
r /> "I've talked it over with Trajen. Kirill and your uncle are still gunning for me. And the Ports. For now, I'm abandoning all Canting and flying without any colors. Unira will fly independent with me and continue the training so that I can qualify for membership, but I'm keeping off everyone's radar in the Nation, and staying clear of your family to protect them while I do this."
Pain choked her. What he was doing was so dangerous. Without Canting, he'd have no quarter anywhere. No Safe Harbor. While not all Tavali obeyed the Code they'd sworn to uphold, they were subject to it. But only so long as you wore the badges.
To fly without Nation, colors, or Canting ...
"It infuriates me that you have to do this."
He shrugged. "It is what it is."
That didn't make it right. The whole point of being Tavali was to fly as family and to have a brotherhood that stood at your back. It wasn't to have to guard against this kind of treachery from your own kind, as well as everyone else. He couldn't even rely on Tavali allies such as The Sentella, Kimmerians, Dread Reckoning, or Mavericks.
He was truly alone. Still hunted and subject to be killed by anyone who found him, with no place to hide.
"I wish I could go with you."
"You're my ears and eyes here. We're still a team. I can't do what I do without you."
But this wasn't how she wanted it. Even though they were married, they still couldn't be together. Damn his family!
And hers.
"Hey," he said, cupping her chin in his hand as he saw the tears swimming in her eyes. "I'm one call away. I'll be back whenever you need me. I reactivated your rings. And I will be here when our girls are born. I swear that to you. Nothing will keep me away. If Vas needs anything, he knows I'll come running. You can screen me, anytime. Day. Night. I'm yours whenever you need to be horrified by my ugly face."
"You are not ugly." She reached down to cup his hard, shapely rear. "What you are is all kinds of sexy."
He nuzzled his face against her neck. "Yeah, you keep doing that, and I will not be leaving ... ever."
Nipping his chin and running her tongue down his throat, she grinned and slid her hand around to cup him.
He sucked his breath in sharply. "Definitely not going anywhere, you do that." His voice dropped a solid octave as his breathing turned ragged.
Her link rang.
Jullien cursed and whimpered as she stepped back. If that was her brother, he would beat holy Tophet out of him. "I'm going to stomp that thing."
She gave him one last squeeze before she answered it. That only made it worse for him.
When she returned a few minutes later, her face was pale. "Something wrong?"
She nodded. "It was Davel wanting to make sure that I warned you the Garvons are stepping up their efforts against all Tavali, and anyone they think is committing any illegal activity in their territory. Caillen Dagan was arrested last night and is going to be executed for smuggling."
That effectively killed his amorous thoughts. "You're shitting me?"
She shook her head. "Davel said you knew the Dagans?"
"Yeah. Never was particularly fond of Caillen. He's an overreactionary bastard who jumps to ridiculous conclusions, but I hate to see him die like that."
Grimacing in sympathy, Jullien rubbed at his neck. He felt awful for them, especially Caillen's older sister Shahara. "This is where I wish I still had some political pull. If I could get my father to take a call from me, the Triosans should have some diplomatic ability to negotiate an exchange for him."
"Can't your brother do that?"
"I would assume so, but I don't know how well they get along. For all I know, especially given Caillen's mouth, Nyk might be rooting for the Garvons." Jullien sighed as his stomach cramped for the poor smuggler. "I still feel like I should put a call in to Evzen, and at least get him to look at the kid and consider a pardon or prison term. Run the specs and make sure it's not a case of the territorial governor being a douche and trying to further his own career at the expense of Caillen's life. While I've no doubt Caillen's guilty of something, he wouldn't have been carrying anything so bad, it would warrant a death sentence. He's not that big an idiot...." He hesitated as if he reconsidered that statement. "Well, he is, but he's not a capital felon. Just terminally stupid."
Ushara laughed at his uncharacteristic rant over Caillen's personality. Jullien normally only reacted to his own family like this. Seldom did anyone else motivate him to this degree of rancor. "You really don't like him? What did he do to you?"
He gave her a dry, withering glare. "He once accused me of raping his sister."
That instantly sobered her at something she didn't find the least bit amusing. "What?"
"Swear to the gods." He held his hand up to testify to it. "Yeah. And no, I didn't do anything. He's just that stupid."
Well, that certainly explained the rant and why he didn't care for the man. "Then why do you want to help him?"
"I don't. But I feel for his sisters, and I don't want this to tear their family apart. They were orphaned as kids. And while I don't think much of Caillen and even less of his mental capacity, I do respect Shahara Dagan. She's one of the few truly decent people I've run across in my life and I hate to see her done wrong now. For whatever reason, she adores her little brother, moron that he is."
Ushara arched a brow at his passion, and honestly, a part of her was a bit jealous of his obvious respect and defense of another woman.
And that, too, was extremely unusual for him. Especially since he, as a prince, shouldn't have had any knowledge of someone in their line of work. "So how do you know her?"
"Trigon Court." He cleared his throat as a strange and becoming blush crept over his face. He was suddenly, adorably bashful. "She was always professional and courteous whenever I escaped my cousins and she arrested me."
Well, that definitely explained how he'd come across someone in her profession. And it was the last thing she'd expected him to say. "Excuse me?"
He nodded. "You saw my records. Not like you don't know how often I rotated through various legal systems. Unlike the others who hauled me in, she didn't gloat, degrade me, or put my head through a wall or window while I was in her custody. She actually treated me with compassion and acted like I was a sentient being. She'd even try to protect me from the media and wouldn't call and tell them where to line up to photograph my delivery to jail. Says a lot about her integrity ... and it's how I met Caillen and her sister Kasen, too."
"So just how much time did you spend in the Trigon Court system?"
He snorted bitterly. "Remember, you married a contentious asshole who has extreme anti-social tendancies and major problems with anyone in a position of authority. Let's just say I held the upper tier of their frequent flyer program for deliquents."
She arched her brow. "I don't understand. Didn't your family post bond immediately?"
"Not really. My father's position was always that if I got myself into trouble, I should get myself out. So he left me there, hoping they'd scare me straight."
Ushara scowled. "Scare you straight from what?"
"The drugs my cousins kept shooting into me against my will."
Every time she thought about that, she wanted to do them harm. "Didn't you ever tell your father what they were doing to you?"
"Tried, but he never believed me. First rule of being a junkie is lying about it, and blaming your addiction on others. All the experts will tell you that. They won't let you leave rehab until you admit that it's all your fault and you accept total responsibility for your addiction and actions." He sighed. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. It was a long time ago."
Yet it did matter. It made her sick what his family had done to him. And he'd just let something slip that he'd never told her before. "Wait. Back up a second.... What do you mean by escape your cousins?"
An angry tic started in his jaw before he rubbed uncomfortably at the scars on his neck. "I wasn't given any real freedom. Everything I did was watched and mo
nitored. Because I knew what Parisa had done to my brother, Merrell, Chrisen, and Nyran were my wardens for her to make sure I didn't let it slip that she'd had anything to do with Nyk's fate. If I said or did something they didn't like or that they misinterpreted, they immediately injected me with some toxin that would either overdose me or induce a reaction that ended with me in jail, rehab, or a psychiatric ward. They had my behavior so erratic, I could barely think straight most days. It was why I was so angry when Nyk returned out of the blue, for the throne. I kept thinking how unfair it was that he'd just show up and get it all, and I'd be thrown out with nothing after everything they'd put me through for it."
Sighing, he shook his head. "Gah, I was so pissed and stupid. So many wasted years, waiting for a destiny that was never going to be mine. How strange that it seemed so important to me then, and I couldn't care less about any of that now."
"Because you had nothing else."
"True." Jullien swallowed hard as he laid his hand against her rounded stomach and felt the slight fluttering of their daughters at play. "Now I have so much more than I ever deserved. More to lose than I can bear the thoughts of."
Kneeling down, he placed a kiss where they frolicked. "I hate the thought of leaving my girls."
She brushed her hand against his cheek. "We hate the thought of you going."
He pressed her palm to his cheek before he rose to kiss her lips. "I will be back as soon as I can."
"I know." This was a new chapter in both their lives. But as he led her from their home, toward the landing bay, she couldn't get the image of his new files out of her head.
Jullien eton Anatole was dead.
It was in the official League records now. In the back of her mind, she couldn't help fearing that they might have turned that into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Especially given how many enemies he had.
He was going out today as a true ghost.
The more she thought about it, the worse it seemed.
What have we done?
She was sending him out there without Nation. Colors. Harbor.
And if anyone ever learned he was still alive, he would be instantly killed. Yes, he'd been alone before. But she didn't know him then. This time, he traveled with her heart.
This time, he was chasing after the devil for vengeance. Terror filled her. As he said, never before had either of them had so much to lose.