"I'm sorry, Bas. I didn't know."
"Yeah. Neither did I. Until it was too late."
Feeling bad for the man, Jullien took him to his room and showed him where the shower was. He pulled out some of his own clothes for him. "Take whatever you need."
Inclining his head, Bastien stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.
While Bastien showered, Jullien went to the galley to make him something hot and nourishing to eat, and to pack him some better supplies.
Unira joined him. "It's really decent what you're doing for your cousin."
"He was always a good kid."
"Still, it has to be hard for you."
Jullien pulled down their canned supplies. "Not as hard as I would have thought."
"Meaning?"
He paused to look at her. "I think I've finally listened to you, Matarra, and learned to let the hatred in my past go, and find peace with it, and with my birth family."
She arched a quizzical brow.
He laughed at her shocked expression. "I know. I didn't think I'd ever be able to forgive any of them, either. Now ... I just don't want to see him suffer."
Unira pulled his head down so that she could place a kiss on his forehead. "M'tana ... today you have become il Pryne Kadurr. You no longer fight with fury in your heart. You have transcended to the next level and have found the Traexeri. The rarest of rare. I envy you that. It is said that only one in every ten generations will ascend to such a state, and here you have."
With a wry grin, he hugged her. "Don't give me too much credit, Matarra. I'm still a surly war-beast."
Laughing, she pulled away. "You will have a new mastery of your powers when you fight now. Especially your fire. Mark my words."
Jullien didn't believe it for a second, but he didn't want to contradict her either. He felt no differently. Not really. Other than he'd been in Bas's worn-out shoes and he knew how hard it was to be alone in the universe, without friend, ally, or even a pet to call your own. It was a fate he wished on no one other than his grandmother.
His heart heavy, he finished preparing the meal and packing supplies, then returned with them to his room to find Bastien coming out of the head. He had the towel wrapped around his face and was inhaling the fresh scent of it as if it were a bouquet of flowers. Sadly, Jullien had been there, too.
"You can have some of the towels, if you want."
Bastien actually blushed. "Pathetic, right?"
"Not about to judge. You don't want to know how sorry my state was when my wife found me." He handed the tray to Bastien, who attacked it with much the same fervor he'd frightened Ushara with on the day they met.
And like him, Bastien cringed the moment he realized that he'd become more animal than sentient being. "Sorry."
"Again, no apologies. Ever. I get it."
Bastien wiped at his mouth, and for the first time they were truly bonded kin. "Who would have ever thought this would be our lives, huh? I thought by now I'd be ruling by Alura's side, in complete bliss."
"I never thought I'd live long enough to rule. Gods' truth to that. Every day I woke up alive in that palace, I counted it a miracle."
Bastien set the tray aside. "Seriously?"
He nodded. "Once Nykyrian was gone, I figured it was just a matter of time until one of my cousins grew brazen enough to take the fatal shot."
"That's why you wanted to live with your father?"
"Why else?"
Bastien let out a bitter laugh. "Your father thought it was a ruse of your grandmother's so that you could take his throne."
Jullien rolled his eyes at the stupidity. "Of course he did. All he had to do was marry and screw another whore for a son. I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted away from Andaria."
Scowling, Bastien gaped at him. "You know why he never did, right?"
"No idea whatsoever."
"Jullien ... he loves your mother. I mean, loves her. They were supposed to marry. Everything had been arranged, in spite of our grandfather. Uncle Aros was willing to give up his throne for her, then Nykyrian was killed and she went into an institution. After that, his father and the Triosan senate absolutely forbade it."
He gaped at something he'd never heard or known before. "What? When was this?"
"Before I was born. But I heard my mother and your father, and our grandfather fight about this most of my life. Aros categorically refused to ever take another bride--that was his FU to his father and his people over what they did to him by banning his marriage to Cairistiona. He has been loyal to your mother all these years. Your mother is his heart and soul."
That made no sense whatsoever. "Then why did he allow them to banish me and then replace me as heir?"
"Truthfully? Aros thinks you hate him. He says that the first time he picked you up when you were an infant, you screamed like you were being murdered and didn't stop until he put you down. That anytime he tried to touch you, you cringed and recoiled, or ran away to hide. So he learned to leave you alone and focused on Nyk. After Nyk was gone, he didn't know what to do with you."
Jullien ground his teeth as those words reopened old wounds deep inside his soul. While he had no knowledge of being an infant, he knew well that when he was a child, the only time anyone touched him was for punishment. Given the rough and callous treatment of his nurses, he imagined they must have been the same in his infancy and that he would have had an automatic flinch factor to being handled by anyone, even his own parents. So of course he'd have screamed if anyone touched him.
He still involuntarily flinched if anyone other than a small handful of well-trusted family came near his personal space.
And he did remember hiding from his father when he'd been young. But only because his father rarely came to visit and had been a virtual stranger to him. As an Andarion boy, he'd been taught to fear humans, who hated their species.
Even his own father.
Bastien sighed. "Every time you visited, you and Aros always ended up in a bitter fight. So he thought it would be best if you stayed on Andaria. It's why he didn't fight them when they removed you. He thought you'd be happier there. That it would be best for everyone."
Jullien scoffed bitterly. "My father never bothered to get to know me at all."
"I'm sorry, Julie."
"It doesn't matter. My parents orphaned me the day I was born. I never expected much from them, and sadly, they never failed to meet my low expectations." Jullien jerked his chin toward his closet. "Take whatever you need, brother. I'll make sure and bring supplies here whenever I pass through."
Bastien drew his brows together in consternation. "Why are you being so kind to me?"
"Because I know what it's like to be left out in the cold. I don't want to do that to you. If I can find a surgeon who can remove your tag, I'll come back with him, too."
Tears welled in Bas's eyes before he pulled Jullien against him and hugged him. "Even if you leave and never think of me again, the fact that you offered ... I love you, my cousin."
Jullien pounded him on the back and released him. "I won't forget. I put my hailing numbers in while I ran my searches. If you come under attack, get sick, or need anything, you call me. I mean that. I'll return immediately. Anytime. Don't hesitate."
With that, Jullien showed him the way back to the ramp and to where Thraix waited with extra ammunition and weapons.
Bastien gasped at the sight of it. "I wasn't expecting all this."
Thraix grimaced. "Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting to let it go either. But after what I saw in that building ... reevaluated my opinion of you. It's not often I'm wrong. But I'm man enough to admit when I make a mistake. I made sure to conceal you, so you should be left alone."
He inclined his head to them. "Thank you."
Unira joined them and handed Bastien one of her prayer books. "I know you probably don't read Andarion, but I want you to have this anyway, for the gods to watch over you and keep you safe."
"I will treasure it, High Mother." He pau
sed to meet Jullien's gaze. "Peace be with you, cousin."
"And you."
Suddenly, an alarm sounded.
Jullien scowled as he heard it. "It's Jup. He's under fire."
Bastien inclined his head to them. "Go. Help whoever it is. Thanks again, all of you." And with that, he sprinted down the ramp and vanished.
Thraix cupped Jullien's face and turned it toward him. He gave him a poignant, sincere stare. "He'll be fine."
"Reassurance or truth?"
"Both. Plant your emotions and you can see it yourself. You did a good thing and kept me from a stupid one. My thanks on that."
"Y'blent'i."
Thraix sucked his breath in sharply. "Oooh, I love it when you speak Andarion to me. No idea what it means, but it's sexy as Tophet."
Snorting, Jullien shoved him away as he rushed to take his seat for launch. "Means no problem."
"Sounds better in Andarion."
"Everything does," Unira said as she locked down the ship and took up her own chair for take-off.
Jullien fired their engines and launched while he scanned for Jory's position and situation.
Thraix let out a low whistle when he found it by more conventional means. "Damn, they're taking heavy fire. This is where I'm supposed to remind you that Ushara wants you to stay safe and away from battle."
"Your warning is noted."
He passed a disgruntled smirk to Unira. "I know what those words mean in Universal, but when did they become Andarion for I'm ignoring you, and doing it anyway?"
She laughed. "The day we allowed my son to take command of this ship."
"Ah, our stupidity. Gotcha."
Jullien leaned back to smirk at his copilot. "You planning to keep bitching? Or are you ready to help me implement Operation Strughenyi Pamutir."
"Bless you. When we finish with battle, you should see someone about that head cold." Thraix secured himself to his chair. "But if that wasn't a sneeze and you meant Operation Mind Fuck ... I'm locked and loaded, Captain. Let's do this."
CHAPTER 28
Working as a team, Jullien and Thraix flew in completely undetected and appeared like a phantom wraith behind The League cruiser that was hammering Jupiter's ship.
Unira opened fire.
The cruiser sounded the alarm to launch fighters for a counterstrike, but it was too late. With his powers, Jullien already had access to their systems and was shutting down every part of their ability to defend themselves.
One by one, the fighters went dark and drifted harmlessly away. He left them only enough power to sustain life support.
But as he crawled through their databases and files for the information he wanted, he heard a strange buzz. An instant later, a fierce ache began in his head. All of a sudden, he felt weak and peculiar.
"Jules?"
He barely heard Thraix's voice through the shrieking in his ears.
"Unira! Grab him!"
Jullien didn't understand those words. His eyes began jerking as everything went dark....
Thraix cursed when he saw Jullien fall and couldn't get to him in time.
Unira paled as she cradled Jullien's body in her arms. "What's wrong with him?"
"It's an old Chiller attack. I-I didn't recognize it in time." Thraix grabbed a manual headset. "Jupiter? If you're locked in, disengage. Repeat. Disengage. They have a Pulsator on board."
Jupiter's curse matched his as he pulled back. "What do we do?"
Thraix checked the monitors visually, but hesitated to use any of his powers, lest he get hit, too. "I think Jullien's hacks are holding. We should retreat while we're able."
"Hintos don't retreat."
"Fine. We're advancing in a new direction."
Silence rang out for several interminably long seconds before Jupiter responded. "And that direction would be?"
"South." Thraix plugged in their new coordinates and prayed nothing had been burned out with Jullien's brain. Since his friend was Andarion, he had no idea how this attack would work on him as opposed to a Tris.
Hopefully, nowhere near as severely.
And he didn't breathe again until their engines came online without Jullien's assistance and fired up to full throttle. "SOF? How you doing over there?"
"Keeping pace. Our friendlies are not. Appears the good captain knocked them down permanently before they took him out of commission. How's he doing?"
Thraix glanced over to Unira, who shook her head that she had no idea. "We're not sure."
Jupiter sighed. "All right. I'm moving to hyper. Want to rendezvous at our usual?"
"Yeah. I'll see you there shortly." Thraix let Jory take the lead. Once he had them in hyperdrive, he moved to check on Jullien himself.
Blood was slowly leaking from his left ear and nose.
Unira wiped it away with a tissue that was soaked. Even though she appeared composed, her hand shook, letting him know exactly how concerned and upset she was by Jullien's injuries.
Thraix covered her hand with his. "I'm not going to let anything happen to him."
Tears welled in her eyes. "I know it sounds crazy, but I really do think of him as my own child." She laughed with a bit of hysteria in her tone. "I always thought I was so content with my life as a charity worker and high priestess. Taking care of my congregation and helping others. That was always enough for me." She brushed the bleached blond hair back from Jullien's face with a mother's caress. "I looked at everyone as my child and thought that was what love meant. It was all there was to it."
Wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, she choked on a sob. "I was such a fool. I had no idea how much more I could love someone until the day this surly little beast stood so bravely in his defiance before me at my temple door ... with that irritating grin of his that dared me to throw him out. And then when I watched him on those quiet afternoons where he patiently tutored Nadya and Vasili in the bay when he had no idea anyone else was around.... Where other males would have been shouting angrily in impatience at the children over their carelessness and rambunctiousness, he never once raised his voice above a gentle whisper with them while they interfered with his work. Rather, whenever Vasili would yell at his cousin that she was going to break something, Jullien would pick her up and tickle her, then kindly remind the boy that objects can be fixed or replaced. But the feelings of loved ones are not so easily mended."
Thraix ground his teeth at the paraphrased quote. "That's from the Trisani Book of Harmony."
She let out a half laugh. "An Andarion tiziran who quotes peace, and a Trisani warrior who craves vengeance entrusted by the gods into the hands of a priestess who had all but given up on this world and her place in it. What a strange family we are."
"Family?" Her word choice startled Thraix. It'd been a long, long time since anyone had included him in such a grouping.
"Surely you know that's how I view you as well? You're as much a son to me as Jullien is."
Stunned, Thraix stared at her. His own mother had died so long ago that he couldn't even recall her face or form. Not even the sound of her voice or color of her hair. Honestly, he had no memory of her as anything more than the vaguest of shadows. While he remembered more of his father, he'd lost him the night Trisa fell. He'd died fighting beside Thraix's older brother.
As for Julia ... he tried never to think of their brief time together. The pain was too much for him to bear.
Like Jullien, he'd lived alone for so long that it was all he knew now. He'd been forced to teach himself to live in a state of perpetual emptiness and denial--otherwise, the loss of family, culture, and home burned so deep that he couldn't function at all. The rage of injustice wouldn't let him.
For this one broken Andarion and a vice admiral Trajen had taken under his wing out of guilt, Trajen had called in his long-standing debt and forced Thraix back into the land of the living. It was something he'd sworn he'd never do.
Not for anyone or anything.
Yet for reasons he still didn't comprehend, he'd a
llowed Trajen to pull him back. And Jullien and Ushara had kept him here.
But a family...?
Unira cupped his cheek. "Are you all right?"
A tear slid past his control as his emotions overwhelmed him and he realized that somehow all of them had slipped past his numbness and burrowed far deeper into his heart than he'd ever wanted them to.
Damn his soul for it. The last thing he wanted was to care again. The price was just too fucking high.
Now it was too late.
They were there and there was nothing he could do for it.
Embarrassed, he wiped it away. "I need to see about Jullien."
"Thraix--"
"I'm fine, High Mother."
"You're not fine, m'tana. I don't have to be Trisani to know that. You've been alone for a long time, and I understand that. But Jullien and I do consider you our family. He may not say it, but you know it's true. And I feel the same. I just wanted you to know how much my boys mean to me."
He swallowed hard. "I have no real memory of my mother. But I should like to think that she would have been as kind and beautiful as you."
As if sensing her words and their mood, Jullien came awake with a curse, ready to battle.
Thraix caught him before he accidentally punched one of them. "Easy, m'drey. You've no enemies here."
Jullien blinked past the pain that was slicing through his skull. "What the hell happened? Did you hit me?"
"No, but I'm tempted," he scoffed. "Old Chiller weapon. No one was expecting that to be on board."
Jullien panicked as he realized that they must have detected his presence. "Are they after us?"
"No. We appear safe."
"Appear? That's a bullshit word."
And his body wasn't listening to anything comforting as his breathing turned ragged and he rushed for the con to double-check their settings and make sure of it.
After a few nerve-wrecking minutes, he realized Thraix was right. He didn't see any sign of the cruiser.
Still ...
They had detected him. Booted him out of their system. He ran more analysis to see if they were after them.
Thraix exchanged a worried frown with Unira. "Jules, what are you doing?"
"Making sure they're not tailing us."
"They're not."
"You don't know that."
Thraix put his hands on his hips. "Pretty damn sure."
"Yeah, but--"
Moving to stand by him, Thraix gently cupped Jullien's face in his hands and forced him to meet his gaze. "Look at me, buddy. Focus. You're safe. It's just a panic attack. Breathe through it."