Chapter 17: Y Chromosome Photo Shoot
Yumichika wrapped a towel around himself and hurried back to his room before anyone could see him in the hall. The yellow bedroom was empty - Nemu off to the first floor already - and he was glad to have a little solace for himself. Living in a houseful of women, regardless how beautiful, could be wearing at times.
Besides, there'd been no hot water left for his shower, but it wasn't the first cold shower he'd taken.
Probably not the last. Most were by choice. Some out of necessity.
He sat on his bed, which was made precision-style with hospital corners, even at the early hour, and leaned against the wall with the catalog that was beneath his pillow.
Sniggle Boop's Fantasy Lingerie Catalog.
He grinned and turned to the first section, Womens. He'd seen some of the costumes already - worn one - and remembered fondly the Pirate Wench, Harem Girl, and French Maid. He flipped to an ear-marked page of colorful costumes, even as the Pirate Wench herself appeared in his open doorway.
"Ooh," Yoruichi purred, smiling at the catalog, "pick out anything yet?"
Yumichika closed the catalog as she sidled up next to his bed, still wrapped in her own pink towel, her hair half dried and hanging in clumps on her back.
"You lied about the water," he said, scowling, convincing himself that was the thing to do. "There was no hot water left."
"Mm. Sorry." She smiled wider and crawled across the bed to him, making him hope no one was getting an eyeful from the doorway.
He glanced to the hall, but no one was there.
She settled next to him, the warm brown skin of her arm pressed beside his paler tone as she sat Indian style. "Are you cold?"
"No."
"Mm. Okay. Catwoman!" She snatched the catalog from his unmoving hands as she spotted the Batman section of lingerie. She gave the costume her full attention.
Yumichika cleared his throat, realizing parts of him were cold, and starting to react. He positioned the lilac towel over himself better. "Where's Soifon?"
She waved a hand at the door, gold eyes still on the black catsuit in the catalog. "Changing the litter."
He looked appalled.
She looked to him and giggled. "Just kidding, Yumichika. A joke. Lighten up." Her eyes went back to the catalog.
"Oh."
"Wow. Cuddly," Rangiku said from the door, still in her own pink towel, which covered a little less than Yoruichi's towel. "I've got the dress code." To Yumichika's horror, she crossed the room and sat on his other side, reaching over to pull the catalog closer to her, on top of him.
"I'm looking at something," Yoruichi said to her, hand tight on the catalog.
"Share a little," Rangiku said, tugging.
"Hey, uh, let's just -" Yumichika started.
"We were looking at it first," Yoruichi said testily, frowning at the taller woman, not relinquishing her hold. "Wait your turn."
"Don't be selfish."
"I think there's sake' in the kitchen."
Rangiku's eyes narrowed. "I've got a can of tuna with your name on it, fur ball."
Gold eyes glinted. "Ash cat."
Fearing the cat-fight of the century, Yumichika grabbed the catalog and held it to his chest, realizing he was probably in one of the more enviable positions any man would crave. After a few moments of wiggly fingers, both women released the catalog and sat back against the wall.
"So, what were you looking at?" Rangiku asked smoothly, smiling at Yoruichi.
Yumichika lowered the catalog to his lap as both women looked to the open pages.
"Ooh, film-themed." Rangiku nodded, her nearly dry hair bouncing in his face as she looked at the pages. "For you?"
"No." He flipped the page to the Wonder Woman section.
"Oh. Someone else?" Yoruichi nodded at the lingerie costumes. "A woman?"
"... No," he said.
"A man?" Yoruichi asked, raising an eyebrow, smiling.
"No!"
"Not a man and not a woman," Rangiku said, flipping a page to see The Matrix themes. "What's left? Oh, for yourself."
"No." He flipped a few more pages, feeling his face heat.
"For someone else?" Yoruichi frowned at the page. "Those dusters cover absolutely everything."
"Leave a little to the imagination," Rangiku said, hitching up her slipping towel.
"But do you want something for yourself in a man or a woman's style?" Yoruichi asked him, ignoring Rangiku.
"Not for myself." He fidgeted as Yoruichi grinned at him suggestively.
"We're out of options, Yumichika," Rangiku said, sitting back against the wall. Her blue eyes leveled on him. "Who were you looking for?"
"... just looking. That's all."
"Just looking?" Yoruichi giggled. "At the women?"
"Of course at the women!" He snapped the catalog shut as a shadow darkened the doorway.
"Gaa!" Orihime gasped, one hand flinging over her eyes as she saw them. Her face was vivid red in three seconds. "Ugh, I was ... just going to say ... say there are muffins in the ..."
"Kitchen?" Yoruichi filled in.
"Yes." Orihime, fully dressed already in denim shorts and a pink tank top, peeked between her fingers. "I didn't know you were all ... here ... busy." With a mumble, she left quickly down the hall.
They all three looked after her.
"Muffins," Yoruichi said. "It doesn't smell like muffins."
Rangiku nodded. "Not really."
"Tara mail!" Orihime's voice rang out down the hall.
A rush of pink towels sprang from the bed as Rangiku and Yoruichi departed.
Yumichika breathed a sigh of relief, and tucked the catalog under his pillow before joining them.
Orihime already had the purple and gold envelope open as Nemu, Yoruichi, Soifon, Nanao, and Rangiku crowded around as Yumichika joined them. "'The industry may be hot, but that doesn't mean the set will always be. Remember: models sometime have to fake it to make it, or they'll be left out in the cold.'"
Everyone looked around at each other.
"Should we wear cold weather clothes?" Nanao asked, frowning.
"And boots?" Soifon added.
Orihime's eyes dropped to the bottom of the note. "It says to be ready at eight-thirty."
They collectively looked to the clock on the wall. "Twenty-minutes," Nanao groaned. She looked to Orihime. "Pack up the muffins!"
Ray Migel met the Hummer limousine as it circled before the ski lodge partway up the slope of Mt. Fuji. He was dressed in a black and gray ski jacket and pants, grinning as the contestants stepped hesitantly out of the Hummer and stood shivering before the expansive Alpine style chalet resort.
"Hallo, ladies!"
"H-Hello, Ray!" they called back, teeth chattering.
"Cold?"
"Y-Yes!"
Most were dressed in jeans, pullovers, and sneakers, and they were cold.
"Today we're doing a shoot for the new Naketano ski wear fashions, so everyone head on in to the resort's Sakuranbo Lounge and find your wardrobes before you freeze up!"
A mad dash of shivering contestants rushed past Ray and into the resort, crowding past the few guests and camera crew inside, to find the lounge off the main lobby.
Inside were two racks of Naketano ski wear, and within moments the contestants had found their jacket and pants outfits. Most were in color block patterns of pink and white, baby blue, white, and yellow, and blue, black, and white, and matching snow boots in black, white, or camel colored, trimmed with fake fur, complete with Isotoner gloves.
"We're ready for you," Ray's assistant called from the lounge doorway. They all followed him out.
Within ten minutes they had reassembled in front of Ray at the back of the resort where the evergreen and birch trees contrasted sharply against the snowy bank behind, with the camera crew setting up in the noonday sun.
Ray smiled out over them as they looked at the snow machine that was doing a testing blow of large-flaked snow
against the trees to add to the few inches of snow already on the ground. "Everyone warmer now?"
"Yes, yes!" they sang back.
"Good." He rubbed his gloved hands together. "Naketano is looking to show up their newest ski wear line, so we're going to do individual shoots of you all against the trees. I want you to show off the coat. That's the main product here. The pants, boots, gloves - all secondary. The winner of this shoot will get a very special prize, so show us you best poses, flattering the jackets. Ready?"
"Yes!" the contestants squealed.
"Good." Ray glanced to the cameraman and photographer, who both nodded at him. Ray pointed to Yoruichi. "You're up first."
Yoruichi smiled and stepped before the cameras and photographer as the other contestants fell back. She unzipped her jacket of blue, white, and yellow, exposing her red turtleneck beneath, her hair high up in her typical ponytail. She held one side of the collar up to her face, winking at the photographer. She pivoted sideways and arched her back, angling one hip out, giving the camera a flirty look.
"Very good," Ray said. "Let's see a little more wholesome shots. These are jackets, not boudoir wear."
Yoruichi finished her set, providing snow angels in the fine snow until Ray made her stop, with a few shots that would give the viewer pause as to exactly what was being sold.
Next up was Nemu, who executed ten spot-on poses of standard winter shots, and then it was Soifon's turn, who wore a jacket similar in design to Yoruichi's. Her stilted, pucker-friendly poses only emphasized the difference in modeling style when compared to the darker-skinned woman's fluid poses, and it left Ray shaking his head.
"Just goes to show that it's not the clothes that make-or-break the shot," Ray said in a low tone to his assistant. "She never exudes any warmth."
The assistant nodded.
Next up was Orihime in her pink and white jacket, who proceeded to try to make a snowman with the snow the snow-machine had provided, and then Yumichika in his black, blue, and white color-blocked jacket, striking L.L. Bean quality poses that proved he was in the wrong competition.
Finally Ray pointed at Nanao and the dark-haired woman stepped before the camera and photographer.
"Have fun with it," Ray said as the sun beat down on the set, making some of the snow melt even as the snow-machine chucked out more flakes.
Nanao looked to the small snowman Orihime had made, and then back to Ray. "Do you want another snowman?"
"No. Just have fun in the snow - but no snow angels," he said quickly.
Nanao dropped to her knees and scooped up a big armful of snow and threw it into the air over her head at the same moment the snow machine coughed out a large spasm of flakes at her. The photographer snapped away.
Ray nodded. "Excellent, Nanao," he said as the snow fell around her.
When Nanao had finished her set, Rangiku took her turn before the cameras. Her pink and white jacket was only zipped halfway up, unable to surpass her bosom to go any farther.
Ray frowned as Rangiku stood before the cameras, tugging at the zipper that threatened to split. "Don't jam it," he said, even as the zipper stopped.
She frowned at it, pulling gently at the lodged tab. "It's stuck."
Three of the crew - all male - rushed to help Rangiku with the zipper. Ray sighed. "Back here, fellas. We'll shoot around the ... Just leave it open. We can't see much of the zipper, anyway," he said.
The crew returned to their positions, and Rangiku proceeded with her photo shoot, producing several good shots, a few mediocre ones.
Ray nodded with satisfaction as the last shoot ended. "Okay, ladies, great job. Now head on in to the lounge room and get warmed up with some hot cocoa, and we'll announce the results of the photo shoot shortly."
All the contestants made a beeline to the resort, except for Rangiku and Nanao, who were mumbling over the taller woman's zipper.
"... one little pull," Nanao was saying as Ray walked up to them. Rangiku's fingers slipped off the zipper pull.
He shook his head, grinning. "Can you even see the zipper, Rangiku?" he asked as she fingered the pull.
"No. I haven't seen most of my zippers," she said with a sigh, pushing on her chest to attempt seeing the trouble spot.
"Let me try." Nanao gave a few tugs on the stuck zipper, to no avail.
Ray waved it off. "Don't worry about it, Rangiku. We'll get you cut out."
Before he was finished saying it, three of the crew appeared out of seemingly nowhere with scissors. Nanao gave the closest one a sharp look and took the scissors he offered.
Rangiku sighed, frowning, watching what little she could see of Nanao cutting the jacket along the zipper. "Do I have to pay for this coat?"
"No. We'll get you something a little more tailored for the next shoot," Ray said as the jacket gave way under its burden when Nanao had finished cutting. "You girls go grab some cocoa and I'll meet you in there after I see the frames."
Orihime was already at the bottom of her first cup of cocoa when Rangiku and Nanao joined them in the lounge before the mammoth field stone fireplace. The contestants hovered around the flaming warmth as one of the resort servers walked among them, offering hot cocoa and mini marshmallows to all, giving Yumichika a slow look.
"I don't understand," Yoruichi said, blowing softly on her mug of cocoa as she sat before the hearth with Soifon. "Snow angels are about as far away as you can get from hootch."
"Not the way you were doing them," Nanao said as she sat in a sack chair with her cup of cocoa, the color still in her cheeks.
Yoruichi shrugged. "It wasn't video; only stills, so I paused."
"Perhaps you should have paused with your legs together," Nemu said.
They all looked to her.
Rangiku nodded, taking a cup of cocoa from the server. "It would have been more angel-like."
They all looked to Yumichika, who was in the middle of swallowing his cocoa.
"What do you think?" Nanao asked him, slightly amused. "Was it hootchie, or angel?"
Yumichika gulped down the hot liquid and the mini marshmallow that had floated into his mouth. "I don't know."
"You don't know? How can you not know?" Soifon asked pointedly.
"I wasn't watching that closely," he said, taking another drink.
"Come on," Yoruichi prodded. "Even Eleventh Division knows hootch when it sees it. Don't they?"
"Of course we do."
"It can't all be about fighting and battle," Yoruichi said, smiling at him.
"We know that."
"He's here, isn't he?" Nanao said. "Of course he's about more than fighting."
"I miss Tatsuki," Orihime said out of the blue, sighing as she sipped her second cocoa.
"Everyone get warmed up?" Ray said suddenly from the lounge doorway, clapping as he looked at them.
"Yes, Ray!" they chorused.
"Good. Our next elimination photo shoot is going to be for the sponsor Chapstick, the makers of lip balm the world over."
A squeal ripped through the contestants, echoing off the bamboo walls.
"We'll be taking still shots of you all, individually - well, almost individually - in winter settings, showcasing Chapstick's foremost product, lip balm. And for the winner of the Naketano jacket photo shoot there will be an extra shoot. So, you guys want to know who the winner is?"
Everyone nodded, giggling with anticipation.
"We had some good photos to choose from, but the best goes to Nanao," he said with a flourish to the woman.
Nanao's violet eyes opened wide, and she remembered to swallow her cocoa before blurting out, "Me?!"
"Yes, you," Ray said, grinning as she leaped to her feet. "As the winner, you get to shoot a commercial for Chapstick."
Nanao made a high-pitched squealing sound that made Nemu cover her ears.
"And you get to bring two friends with you to shoot their own commercials, too," he finished.
Nanao looked at the other contestants huddled around her with mugs of coc
oa in their hands, eager faces turned in her direction. "Uh, I guess ..." she looked to each in turn, " ... I guess Rangiku. And Orihime."
Two more squeals broke the air.
Orihime was on her feet, hugging Rangiku as she rose, before moving on to Nanao.
"There's more, ladies," Ray said, smiling at them. "Today the commercial will be filmed with male models."
Rangiku squealed. Nanao looked shocked. Orihime was halfway through her squeal with Rangiku when she stopped and let it end in an uneasy twitter.
"That's good," Rangiku said, smiling and nudging the other two. "It'll be fun."
Yoruichi sent a sparse look to Nanao, then rolled her eyes.
"Just them?" Yumichika asked, verifying.
Ray nodded. "Only Nanao, Rangiku, and Orihime will be shooting commercials with the male models. There will be other still shots for the rest of you later."
Yumichika sagged in relief, finishing off his cocoa.
Ray clasped his hands together. "So, I need Nanao, Rangiku, and Orihime to come with me now; the rest of you relax with the cocoa until we do the still shots later, got it?"
"Yes, Ray," they called.
Nanao, Rangiku, and Orihime followed Ray out of the lounge.
The Range Rover carrying the three contestants and Ray Migel stopped before the clearing on the mountainside where the camera crew and photographer were already set up an hour later that afternoon. The area was separated into three sets among the crew, equipment, and make-up trailer, one set with a snowman, one featuring a snowmobile, and one with a short toboggan tethered in place on the steep slope.
Ray stepped out of the Range Rover and let the contestants out from the back seat. "Ladies, we've got perfect light and weather. Each of your commercials will be shown to the judges, but the live action qualities will not count. Only the still shots will be judged."
Nanao, Rangiku, and Orihime nodded. The two shinigami looked to each other.
"Something feels familiar about this," Rangiku said in a low tone as they followed Ray to the sets.
Nanao nodded. "But I can't place what."
Orihime smiled. "Maybe Ichigo is a model!"
They stopped with Ray at the cameras as they met the crew, photographer, and Ray's assistant, Rangiku in her second jacket, also a pink and white Naketano, with alterations that let her zip it up just enough to clear her cleavage, because there was only so much the wardrobe woman could do with the same amount of fabric. Rangiku was glad for her yellow turtleneck.
"Okay, ladies," Ray began, turning to them as they paused before the toboggan set, the assistant at his side with a few papers. "We're going to shoot three separate commercials, featuring each of you with a different male model, in different sets."
"Where are they?" Rangiku asked, looking around the clearing, putting a hand to shade her brow in the bright sunlight.
"They're getting ready. Now," he continued, "Orihime, you're going to be on the sled, Nanao, you've got the snowmobile, and Rangiku, you get the snowman."
"The snowman is my male model?" she asked, voice thick with disappointment.
"No, sweetheart. He's a real man."
"Oh, good."
"Orihime, you're going to be up first with - oh, here they come now," Ray said, making a waving-over motion to the make-up trailer. "The make-up artists from Smashbox and Chapstick are going to ..."
Ray said more, but Nanao, Rangiku, and Orihime had stopped listening somewhere along the line once the male models became recognizable as they neared. The contestants stared back at the less-surprised Hisagi, Kensei, and Ikkaku as the men approached and stopped before Ray.
" ... no cue cards, so it's important for you to remember your lines," Ray was saying as the six models stared at each other.
"Them?" Nanao finally stuttered, gaping at the men.
"Those are the models?" Rangiku said.
"What's wrong with us?" Hisagi wanted to know, now minus his scars and tattoo.
"Do you have a problem with this?" Ray asked no one in particular.
"No," Nanao said slowly. "No. Not a problem ..."
Rangiku's smile crooked at one corner of her mouth. "No problem, Ray."
Orihime's face had drained of color, but was now regaining some pink. "Okay."
"Good." Ray rubbed his gloved hands together. "Orihime, you're first, with - Ikkaku, is it?"
Ikkaku nodded, wearing a Naketano jacket in diagonal black and red designs, standing akimbo in his black boots.
The color came up in Orihime's face. "Me?"
"Yes. You've got the toboggan, so head on over to make-up so they can find you a hat," Ray said, handing her a paper with her commercial lines on it.
"O-Okay," the Living girl said, moving off to the trailer, stepping a little faster when she realized Ikkaku was following her.
"Kensei," Ray said questioningly.
The man in the black, teal, and white ski jacket nodded.
"You've got the snowmobile with Nanao."
Kensei glanced to said woman. "The Lisa-looking one?"
Nanao sent him a jagged look. "I am not Lisa."
Ray nodded slowly. "Nanao, you can practice your lines until it's your turn in make-up."
Nanao took the copy of her lines from Ray and tried to outdistance Kensei as he trailed her to the snowmobile set.
Ray looked to Rangiku and Hisagi, who were already looking at each other. "That leaves you, Rangiku, with Hisagi and the snowman."
She nodded, arms crossed at her chest, one finger tapping at her elbow. Hisagi, wearing a Naketano ski jacket in black, blue, and white, grinned at her.
Ray gave her the paper with her lines on it. "You two are going last, so you've got some time. I'll see you then."
Rangiku's eyes narrowed at Hisagi as Ray made his departure to the toboggan set. "What are you guys doing here?"
"We're male models," he said, grin widening.
"Oh? How long have you been moonlighting as models?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged, looking to where Orihime was coming out of the make-up trailer. "It's kind of spur-of-the-moment."
" ... I see."
He looked to the snowman. "This might be fun."
Rangiku leaned closer, getting a better look at him. "Where's your tattoo, Hisagi?"
Ray nodded as Orihime stood beside the toboggan with Ikkaku. "Very good. Nice choice of hat, Orihime."
She smiled, fingering the cat ears on her orange Kyo Fruits Basket hat.
"What about my hat?" Ikkaku asked, shuffling uncomfortably in the boots.
"You don't get a hat."
"I'll get cold," he said.
"You're not actually sledding, Ikkaku," Ray said as the camera man and photographer gave him a thumbs-up. "No wind-chill. You look tough without a hat. Your charm point."
Ikkaku scowled more intently.
"Right," Ray said, motioning to the toboggan. "Orihime, you're in front, Ikkaku behind. Now, the sled is going to be pulled back a foot, then released. It'll stop, and Orihime hops off, comes smiling up to the camera, says her lines, uses the Chapstick, and we have a commercial. Any questions?"
"What do I do?" Ikkaku asked.
"Just sit there," Ray said. He looked to Orihime. "Ready?"
She nodded.
The sled was pulled a foot up to the stake where it was anchored by a rope, with a second rope buried beneath the snow, held by crewman who remained out of camera shot. Orihime sat at the front, Chapstick in hand, Ikkaku looking slightly miserable sitting behind her, boots to either side in the snow.
"We've got some glare," the photographer said to Ray, tapping his head.
Ray waved over the make-up girl. "Just some dusting."
The make-up girl nodded and went to the sled with her equipment.
"What're you doing?" Ikkaku demanded as the girl dusted his shiny head with a powder puff of loose beige powder.
"Just taking the shine off, handsome," she said.
"Agh! Stop it!"
He batted her hand away as she applied another dusting.
"That's better," the photographer said.
Ikkaku mumbled something none of them wanted to hear.
Ray nodded at them as the photographer crouched near him. "Good lines. Ikkaku, you need to put your legs in the sled."
"Where?" he asked, making Orihime flinch as he sat cross-legged behind her.
"No, put your legs alongside hers," Ray directed.
"What?" Ikkaku snapped.
"Uncross you legs from behind her and put them on the sled alongside hers in front of her," Ray said precisely.
A moment of awkwardness, clumsy leg movements, snow clods in Orihime's hair.
Orihime's face was now crimson, glowing, as she held the reins of the toboggan, Ikkaku close behind her, growling.
"Perfect," Ray said. "A little less severity, Ikkaku. Okay, better. When the sled is released, it'll stop, and then Orihime comes over to the camera and delivers her lines. Ready?"
Two nods.
The sled was released, it moved forward a foot, jerked to a stop, and Orihime popped up so fast her head cuffed Ikkaku's chin, bringing an 'oof' of pain from him as she headed to the camera.
She zipped the tangerine flavored lip balm across her lips, smiled, and said, "Even after a cold afternoon of snow my lips stay kissable soft with Chapstick!"
Ray watched through the monitor set up behind the cameraman, nodding. "Very good, Orihime. Perfect execution. Only thing, when you got off the sled you popped Ikkaku in the mouth, and we need to shoot that part again."
Ikkaku looked to them, one hand on his mouth where he'd bitten his tongue. "The-then?"
"Yes, again. Orihime, get back on the sled and we'll get another take," Ray said.
Orihime mumbled a 'sorry' as she scooted in position in front of Ikkaku on the toboggan, legs were rearranged, and the sled was pulled back up the incline a foot.
"Okay, ready when you are," Ray said to the crewman with the rope.
The sled was released, it lurched forward, the post rope snapped, and the toboggan headed down the steep mountainside, gaining speed, a cry of glee coming from Orihime, a below of dread from Ikkaku as the sled got smaller and smaller.
"Oh, shit," Ray muttered, watching for ten minutes, as were the camera crew, until the sled was nearly out of sight, stopped by what appeared to be a small tree in the distance. He looked to the snowmobile on the other set where Nanao was sitting, rehearsing her lines as Kensei stood nearby. "Does that thing work?"
The cameraman shook his head. "It's just a prop. No engine."
"Oh."
They watched as Orihime and Ikkaku slowly got off the sled, dusted themselves off, and looked back up the incline.
"They seem okay, don't they?" Ray said to the cameraman.
The cameraman angled the camera to the figures farther down the mountain, zooming in on them, watching for a moment. "Yeah. They're okay."
"Good." Ray sighed. "We'll wait for them to walk up. I think the footage we've got is good. She delivered the lines perfect. Let's do Nanao's set."
While Orihime and Ikkaku started on the mile trek up the mountainside, toboggan in tow, Nanao was settling into position on the snowmobile. The light was still good, and Ray wanted to get all the commercials filmed before the sun cast the shadows across the mountains the wrong way.
He looked at Kensei as the man straddled the snowmobile, causing Nanao to inch forward on the seat. "Don't worry about the snowmobile, we'll plug in the sound later for the commercial. Nanao, you hop off the snowmobile, come up to the camera, use the product, and deliver your lines. Okay?"
She nodded, squirming as Kensei sat behind her.
"Okay, Kensei, put your hands on Nanao's hips, and when she -"
"What?" Nanao said in surprise. "Why?"
Ray gestured to them. "You're out snowmobiling, having fun in the snow, as a couple, and you stop to do the commercial. That's the way the commercial goes, honey."
Nanao simmered for a moment, flinching as Kensei's hands came about her hips.
"Just hold still a minute," he mumbled as she fidgeted.
"You're pinching."
"Sorry." He changed his hold, receiving an elbow into his stomach. "Agh!"
"You're tickling!"
"No, I'm not!"
Another handhold, another sharp elbow.
"Ugh! Lisa, stop -"
This brought Nanao around to face him. "Lisa? I'm not Lisa!"
"Sorry..."
"Forward, please, both of you," Ray said, running a hand through his hair.
The models turned to face him.
"Okay. We'll start again," Ray said. "Happy faces, Nanao, Kensei."
Kensei's hands went back to Nanao's hips, feeling her tense, but no elbow this time. They looked stonily to Ray.
"I don't see happy," Ray said as the camera rolled and the photographer clicked photos. "Let's try it the other way. Kensei, you in front, Nanao behind."
Nanao was off the snowmobile in a heartbeat, climbing behind the man before Kensei had a chance to move up.
"Scoot," she said, pushing on his back.
"I'm going."
Positions arranged, Ray nodded. "Put your arms around his waist, pretend to come to a stop with the snowmobile, and then, Nanao, you hop off and come over to the camera for your lines."
Nanao frowned at the back of Kensei's head, and then made a half-hearted attempt at putting her arms around his waist.
"A little more enthusiasm, Nanao," Ray directed.
Nanao reached a little farther.
"More," Ray said with a sigh.
Kensei grabbed both her arms and tightened them around his waist, making her squirm and use several four-letter words when his aim missed.
"Let me off!"
"Let's just get this right, and then -"
Nanao wedged a knee into his back. "Off!"
"Lisa, it's -"
"Ugh!" Nanao freed one arm and slapped him in the back of the head with her hand, which loosened the other arm. She stomped over to the camera and gave it a glare, then smiled, applied a layer of cherry Chapstick to her lips and said, "Even after a cold afternoon of snow my lips stay kissable soft with Chapstick!"
Ray put his hands on his hips. "Okay. Not bad, Nanao, but we can't use much of the snowmobile shot."
She threw a dark look to where Kensei was rubbing the back of his head. She looked back to Ray. "Aren't we going to be judged on still shots anyway?"
"Well, yes, but most -"
"Can I be done already?"
Ray read the severity in her eyes, and nodded. "You can be done already."
Orihime and Ikkaku were two-thirds of the way back up the mountainside when the camera crew and photographer got into position at the snowman set where Rangiku and Hisagi were ready for their photo shoot.
Ray looked back at them. "So far, we haven't been able to get through the whole shoot," he said as they awaited instruction. "I don't see the snowman giving us any problems, so we'll see. Now, you're having a snowball fight, chase each other around, have fun with it."
"That's it?" Rangiku asked.
"That's it. We'll improvise as you go. No snowballs to her face, Hisagi."
Hisagi nodded.
Rangiku looked to the male model. "Will his make-up come off if his face gets wet?" she asked with more than a little amusement.
"No," Ray said.
Hisagi frowned at her.
"Okay," Ray said as the cameraman and photographer nodded to him, "let's go!"
Hisagi scooped up enough snow for a good-sized snowball and flung it at Rangiku, hitting her right where the jacket zipper was straining across her chest.
"Nice shot, less force," Ray called as Rangiku made a snowball of her own and threw it, catching Hisagi in the ear.
She dodged behind the snowman to avoid two return snowballs, and peeked out in time to get the third in her turtleneck. Hisagi grinned as she scooped up a snowball and fired it at his covered tattooed cheek, foll
owed by another, and then his world went white.
Next thing he knew he was on his back in the snow, Rangiku sitting on his chest, grinding snow into his face with more intent than he thought he deserved.
"... Rangiku! Rangiku, honey, not so much force," Ray directed as the woman hovered over the male model with a face-washing that would have shamed a hockey player. "Enough!"
Rangiku sat back on Hisagi, looking to Ray. "Enough?"
"Yes, let him breathe."
She looked down at Hisagi, who was grinning up at her through snow and wet. She picked the snow out of her hair.
"Now kiss him," Ray said.
She looked to the photo shoot director. "What?"
"You heard him," Hisagi said, grinning wider as her attention turned back to him.
"Kiss him," Ray called.
Rangiku looked down at Hisagi as she felt his hand move to her hip. She half smiled and wiped the snow off his face, then grabbed the blue of his ski jacket, pulled him up and planted an impactful kiss on his mouth.
Then let him drop. She was off him in a flash, even as he was still flopping back into the snow, making her way to the camera with a curvy sway of a walk, smiling. She cocked her head to one side before the camera and drew the watermelon Chapstick across her lips.
"Even after a cold afternoon in the snow my lips stay kissable soft with Chapstick!" she said.
"Okay, that's good, Rangiku," Ray said, nodding as he looked at the camera's monitor. "Nicely done." He looked to where Hisagi still lay in the snow. "That's a wrap!"
"Again?" Hisagi called back hopefully.
"Nope, we got it."
Rangiku smiled at Ray, then looked to the slope where Orihime and Ikkaku appeared. "Hey, they're back!"
Ikkaku was half dragging Orihime by the wrist, the toboggan rope in the other hand, bald head shining and face beet red.
"Are we done?" he panted, trying to catch his breath, dropping Orihime's wrist. She sank to her knees, then to her back, wheezing.
"Almost," Ray said as he met them. "We've got the drive back to the resort, and the final still shots." He looked to Orihime. "Is she okay?"
Ikkaku nodded, panting.
"What happened to your eye?"
Ikkaku frowned through what was becoming a blackened eye. "We hit a tree, and I bounced off the back of her head."
"Oh." Ray waved over the medic from the trailer. "Are you okay?"
Ikkaku scowled. "I heard my skull crack."
Back at the resort, over a few rounds of hot cocoa, the remaining contestants had their still shots with the male models. After an initial period of maladjustment on the contestants' part, they were back in the resort's yard, lights and cameras set up to take twilight shots of Nemu, Soifon, Yoruichi, and Yumichika.
It was the last contestant, and Ikkaku, who posed the strangest pairing. The bickering, if it could be called that, had started as soon as Hisagi, still half-dazed from the snowball fight shoot, had done still shots with Yoruichi and Soifon, separately, and moved through Kensei's by-the-book shots with Nemu.
"This is where you've been hiding?" Ikkaku nearly spat when he found his voice, glaring at Yumichika as the other contestants had their shoots.
Yumichika frowned at him. "Why not? And I'm not hiding."
"A beauty pageant?"
"It's more than beauty; there's poise and acting, too," Yumichika defended as they sat in the Adirondack chairs out of earshot of Nemu and Kensei's shoot.
"Tell me you're not gay," Ikkaku nearly begged, wiping a hand over his newly sunburned scalp, grimacing.
"I'm not gay. You know that."
"They must think you are. Why else would they let you in?"
"It's beauty, Ikkaku." Yumichika looked to where Ray was trying to coach some emotion out of Nemu. "I thought you'd understand. You're my best friend."
"Blood brothers, not buddies."
"I know that."
"And all them," Ikkaku gestured to where the other contestants were watching Nemu and Kensei's photo shoot, "they're all okay with you being here?"
"Why not?"
"You're a man! That's why!"
Yumichika frowned as Orihime and Soifon looked their way. "They don't hold that against me."
"They don't hold ...?" Ikkaku scowled. "They should. Where do you stay?" When Yumichika just stared at him, unanswering, Ikkaku said, "In the house. Where do you sleep?"
"In my room."
"Alone?"
"No. Yachiru was there, up until a few days ago."
"And now? Now you're alone?" Ikkaku pushed.
"No. Nemu's there."
"... Oh." Ikkaku shrugged. "I'm not sure if that counts or not." He peered closely at his friend. "Is that eyeliner?"
Yumichika tilted his head away. "All celebrities wear some enhancement, Ikkaku. Everyone knows that."
"Enhance..." Ikkaku shook his head.
Yumichika frowned at him. "You're wearing eye shadow."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are. Only one eye." Yumichika moved closer for a better look.
"Hey, not so close. It's a black eye."
"Which is why I'm here!" chirped the make-up girl out of seemingly nowhere again. Without warning she whipped a cosmetic sponge out of her bag and moved in on Ikkaku.
He sat back in the chair as she closed in. "Now what? Glare again?"
"No. Cover up that redness." She looked at his eyes in turn. "Powder some of that bruise, too."
Yumichika buried a chuckle as Ikkaku succumbed to being dusted and sponged.
"Yumichika, Ikkaku!" Ray's assistant called, rushing up to them from the set where Nemu and Kensei were finishing. "We're ready for your still shot."
"Together?" they said in unison.
"Yes. Now."
Elimination judging the next morning was at eight, giving the contestants enough time to have a quick breakfast before the limousine picked them up.
They assembled before the judges table, all in black t-shirts that had the words Ski Naketano emblazoned in blue across the front, key chains of Chapstick dangling from the belt loops of their jeans.
Tara, size full-figure now, stood before the table in her own Naketano t-shirt and stretch jeans, accessorized with gold chains and large hoop earrings.
"It's nice to see you all so perky this early in the morning," Tara said brightly, smiling from ear to ear as she looked over the contestants. "You ready for judging?"
A chorus of "Yeahs" came from the competitors.
"Well, first let's introduce our judges. There's Virgil Parker, noted fashion photographer," Tara said, gesturing to aforementioned photographer.
Virgil nodded towards the contestants and smiled. "Hello, there."
"And next we have runway coach, diva extraordinaire, Miss Ray Constance," Tara said.
"Hey, girls," Miss Ray said with a slight lilt to his tone, tapping his sparkling tiara.
"And, as always, we have fashion-fledgling super-star, Mr. Uryuu Ishida."
Uryuu could only muster up a half-smile as he raised his gaze to look up at what remained of the contestants, pinpointing Orihime.
"Last but not least, we have the enigmatic Mr. Kaname Tousen," Tara said a bit too cheerfully for everyone else's liking. She gestured to the man at the end of the table. "Everyone, please welcome him."
Her request was met with silence.
"Well, anyway, let's get on to our prizes and the judging." She repeated her usual recitation of prizes The Next Top Model would receive, smiling grandly at them, and then cleared her throat and quickly took her seat. "This week you all shot print ads for flavored Chapstick. Some of you actually filmed commercials, but for this week's panel, we'll be using the still photos from everyone's shoots as what we'll be judging off of." She paused, then settled deeper into her seat. "Okay. Nanao, you're up first."
Nanao allowed a slight smile to grace her lips as she took to the short runway and stood before the judges.
"Nanao, you're one of the ones that actually had
a commercial filmed over at Mt. Fuji," Tara said as she sat straighter, "so, let's see your best take."
Nanao's photo of her temporary smile after elbowing Kensei flashed on the screen, and the judges nodded at it.
"I hear you got all your lines right in one take," Tara said. "The photo here is good, a little rushed, but good. Thank you, Nanao."
Nanao said a low-key 'Thanks' and turned down the runway to get back in line.
Tara looked at the contestants. "Next is Yoruichi."
Yoruichi came forward.
"All righty then. Let's see your best shot," Tara said, then automatically turned to look at the blank screen. A picture quickly flashed onto it. In it, Yoruichi, clad in her Naketano winter attire, was happily making a snow angel, the shot one of the more conservative of the set.
"I like it," Virgil said right away, adding a nod for effect.
"Me, too," said Miss Ray.
"It's okay," Uryuu said, pausing a bit. "But I don't see how it would sell coats."
"We're not using the Chapstick shot for the judging?" Virgil asked.
Tara's smile crooked. "I'm afraid none of Miss Yoruichi's Chapstick shots came out. Lighting mishap."
Virgil sighed. "Oh."
"What does it look like?" Tousen asked, turning his head some as he faced the wall opposite of the one that the screen was on. "Is it over here?"
"It is a very good picture," Tara said, enunciating loudly and slowly as she leaned towards Tousen, crossing Virgil. Then, she added, a bit louder, "Very good pose."
Tousen's head pivoted to the screen.
"He's blind, not deaf," Uryuu murmured lowly, sighing a bit as he sat back in his chair.
"Okay, Yoruichi. Thanks." Tara flashed Yoruichi a quick smile. "And, the next one is Soifon."
Soifon did a snappy power walk down the runway, her stare on Tousen the whole way, eyes narrowing. She looked to the judges.
Tara smiled at her. "You had a photo shoot with one of the male models for Chapstick. Let's see your best!"
On the screen flicked the image of Soifon applying the lip balm to her lips, a sour expression on her face, as a bemused Hisagi looked on. All the contestants looked to Tousen as Hisagi's image appeared onscreen, but there was no reaction from the blind man.
"Not much here," Virgil said.
"It was lemon," Soifon told him.
"Lemon or not, you should've smiled some," Tara said. "Thank you, Soifon. Okay, next up is Orihime!"
Soifon shot Tousen a glare, which was wasted on him, before turning back to get in line, passing Orihime.
Orihime stopped before the judges table, smiling back at them.
"I hear your toboggan got away with you and your male model," Tara said, lifting an eyebrow. "How was that?"
"Oh, it was a very long walk back up," Orihime said with a giggle.
"Let's see your best shot." Tara looked to the screen as Orihime's only close-up popped on, showing the girl applying the lip balm to her smiling lips. "Good. Not bad."
Uryuu adjusted his glasses as he looked at the screen. "Not bad," he finally said.
Virgil shrugged. "Good for one shot."
Miss Ray sighed. "Very good for one shot."
"Thank you, Orihime," Tara said as the girl turned. Rangiku, Nemu, and Yumichika each had there turn before the judges table, with Rangiku and Yumichika both hoping against hope that names wouldn't slip out as Tara spoke about the photos, relieved when Hisagi and Ikkaku weren't named.
After that the contestants were dismissed to wait for the judges to deliberate, and the seven photos were studied in more earnest.
And described in more detail for the guest judge.
Virgil leaned closer to Tousen, holding Nemu's photo before them. "This is Nemu, she's a very well-proportioned girl, with a creamy complexion, soulful eyes, ample bosom, who takes direction -"
"Virgil," Tara said, grabbing his arm, "maybe less can be more."
"Oh, yes." Virgil nodded. "She's a cutey-pie."
Tousen frowned. "Cutey-pie?"
"You bet," Miss Ray added. "By the way, love your hair. Where do you get it done?"
Tousen looked in Miss Ray's direction. "Me?"
"Yes, you, baby," Miss Ray said with a wave of his hand. "Lovely 'do."
Tara patted Miss Ray's hand. "Judge now, flirt later, Miss Ray."
Tousen looked confused. "Miss Ray?"
Uryuu couldn't resist. "Yes. Miss Ray."
"Nemu's okay. She's in," Tara said, trying to move things along. She presented Soifon's photo. Everyone but Tousen grimaced.
"It's so sour," Virgil said. "She's been giving less than seventy-five percent during most of the competition. I don't see the drive in her."
"You and me both," Miss Ray said, giving the photo a dismissive wave.
Tara set Orihime's photo before her. "She and the male model - that's the bald guy in the background on the toboggan - had to walk a mile up Mt. Fuji when the sled took off."
"Don't you people have any emergency equipment?" Uryuu said heatedly, reaching for the photo. He pulled it closer. "She's positively angelic, and she nearly caught hypothermia because of a sled? What about a helicopter? What about -"
"She was fine, Mr. Ishida," Tara said as the Quincy wound up. "She had a strong shot during the commercial, and she's okay ... Are you?"
Uryuu nodded, still fuming, the photo still in his hands.
"Moving on," Tara said, pulling out another photo. "Yumichika."
"Yumichika?" Tousen echoed.
"Yumichika," Virgil said, placing the photo before the guest judge. "He's a bit manly in this one, and the model - again, the bald one - manages to actually set him at ease here."
Tara shook her head at the photo of Yumichika balming his lips as Ikkaku looked on, half scowling. "He doesn't look at ease to me."
"For Yumichika, lately, that's ease," Virgil said."
"I'd like to see that one," Tousen said, laughing a bit.
"Oh, you'd love it!" Miss Ray gushed. "We'll talk later."
Tousen frowned.
Tara flipped past Yoruichi's snow angel, bringing a ripple of chuckles from the judges, and brought out Rangiku's photo. "Here we have Rangiku and her best shot from the commercial."
Uryuu was still looking at Orihime's photo. "Are we going to see the commercials?"
"Yes, after we've judged the stills," Tara explained. "We're not judging the commercials, but we'll see them in a moment."
Virgil took the photo of Rangiku and held it closer to Tousen. "Rangiku is a fiery light auburn-haired woman with brilliant blue eyes and a superb swimsuit body. She's managed to catch almost every pose, excels on the runway -"
"Virgil," Tara said with a sigh.
" - pose in the fantasy shots last week, with many of them -"
"Virgil," Tara said again.
"I'm just trying to help our guest judge get a better idea of what Rangiku looks like," Virgil said.
"I can imagine," Tousen said dryly.
Virgil looked down at the photo of Rangiku smiling into the camera, the Chapstick in her hand, Hisagi lying half-buried in the snow behind her. "And there's a male model, dark hair."
"It's a scrumptious shot," Miss Ray said, nodding. "Uh-huh. The girl's got the goods."
Tara nodded, letting Virgil and Uryuu keep the photos they each had, for the moment. "What do we think?"
Miss Ray shrugged. "All I can say, is lemon is not my flavor of the week."
Tara nodded. "Soifon."
"She's a sour pickle," Tousen said.
They all looked to him.
"You got that right, baby," Miss Ray said. "So-ur."
"They're right," Virgil said.
Tara held up Nanao's photo. "Nanao won the Naketano shoot, but she kinda lost it for the commercial shoot."
The other judges shook their heads.
"Not as sour as the pickle?" Tara asked.
Everyone nodded.
"Okay, and the best?"
Virgil and Uryuu each held
up a photo.
"Okay," Tara said slowly. "Let's look at the commercials, shall we?"
A few moments later the room darkened and the judges watched the brief pieced-together shot of Orihime and Ikkaku's commercial. Uryuu sighed in relief at the minimal footage that he deemed tolerable.
Next was Nanao's short thirteen seconds of film with Kensei, also pieced together. It was received with polite nods.
Rangiku's commercial with Hisagi was longer, and they watched it from snowball fight to Chapstick, all the while Tousen looking blankly at the screen, oblivious to his former lieutenant's cameo.
The lights came back up, catching Virgil with a subtle dreamy look on his face for a second.
Tara looked to each of the judges. "Not bad, not bad. So, have we come to our decision on the best of the shoots?"
A few moments later the contestants were assembled before the judges table again, nervous and anxious at the same time. Tara stood before the table as usual, the photos in hand, looking out over them gravely.
"Seven beautiful girls stand in front of me, but only one can be the winner of The Next Top Model," Tara said breathily. "There are only six photos in my hands. If I do not call your name, you must go back to the house, pack your things, and go home," she said, looking over them. She slowly turned over the first photo in her hand. "Orihime."
Orihime squealed and jumped up and down before sprinting down the runway to take her photo.
"Congratulations, girl, your shot was the best," Tara said, smiling.
"Thank you!" Orihime turned and rejoined the line of contestants, waving a little to Uryuu, who blushed deeply.
"Next, Rangiku," Tara said.
Rangiku came down the runway to receive her photo.
"We loved your commercial," Tara said. "Lot's of life."
Rangiku smiled and took her place in line again.
Tara called off the next names.
Yoruichi. Nemu. Yumichika.
Tara looked to the last two contestants. "Soifon, Nanao, please come down here."
Soifon and Nanao approached Tara, each a little unsure.
Tara looked to them both. "You won the ski jacket shoot, but couldn't sell us happy for the lip balm commercial," she said to Nanao. "Soifon, you gave us pickle, shoot after shoot, and a sour pickle, at that." Tara sighed. "We believed in you both, but only one has what it takes to stay in the running for The Next Top Model." She turned over Nanao's photo. "Nanao, you're still in the running to become The Next Top Model."
Nanao meekly took the photo, and then turned to give Soifon a hug. Soifon hugged her back, and then began her trek, alone, down the carpet.
"Hey, chin up, girl!" Yoruichi called to her. Soifon brightened.
"Yeah, chin up!" the rest of them chimed in.
And then there were six.