Chapter 8: Meanwhile IV
"... Guess who's back; Back again; Shady's back; Tell a friend ..." Tousen stopped singing along with the ear buds stuck in his ears and looked in the general direction he thought Aizen and Gin to be in the Green Room of the studio. "If this is Stevie Wonder, Gin, why does he keep referring to himself as Shady?"
Gin grinned.
Aizen rolled his eyes, then looked to Gin. "Amusing yourself?"
Gin shrugged, taking up half the olive green sofa as he sprawled over most of it. "Gotta do something to pass the time."
Aizen touched his hair with his hand, trying not to muss the job The Next Top Model stylist had coiffed upon him earlier. "Why are you two even here? I'm judging today's taping."
"Guest judging," Gin clarified as Tousen went back to singing along with his custom mixed iPod tunes. "Just back-ups, Boss. Something happens to you, one of us can step in for you."
Aizen gave him a wary look, and then they all looked to the large plasma screen on the green wall across the room as it suddenly lit up. The sounds of the opening music to The Next Top Model came on, scenes of the already filmed episodes flashing, ending with Tara Hills' giving the viewers a seductive "You wanna be on top?" lip-sync.
Aizen smiled at the image. "Yes, please."
Gin leaned forward in his seat.
"This is a preview of the episode airing tonight?" Tousen asked, blank stare on the screen.
Gin nodded, and then said, "Yep."
It took ten minutes into the episode of unblinkingness as the two-out-of-three men watched their former comrades flounced down the carpeted runway before either found their voices.
"Tell me again," Gin finally said, eyes open wider than they'd been in months as he watched a very curvy Rangiku take her walk on the carpet, "why we left all this behind?"
Aizen blinked a few times at the screen before answering, crossing his legs uncomfortably. "I never saw Retsu with her hair back before. She's lovely."
"Hey, leader," Gin said sharply, "I asked why -"
"Halibel and Milarose are there, too," Aizen said, clearing his throat. "They're, well, they're ..."
"Scary?" Tousen offered.
"I was thinking more ..." Aizen wrinkled his face as he watched Sunsun do her turn on the carpet onscreen. "Number One Espada? Who told them all that?"
"No one has to tell them that," Gin mumbled.
"My favorite?" Aizen said as the episode progressed. "All of them said that?"
"I'm sure they didn't mean it," Gin said with a sigh. "It's just a marketing gimmick."
Aizen scowled at him. "Is that supposed to sound better?" A moment later his scowl intensified. "Momo never looked like that when I knew her," he said barely audibly. "That might have changed things."
Gin shot him a look.
As the finalist names were called onscreen and the squealing and threats commenced amongst the finalists and losers, Aizen and Gin exchanged looks. So did Tousen, but less so.
"Not a single Arrancar female made it to the finalists?" Aizen said with more than a hint of disbelief.
"That's what Tara said," Tousen said with a shrug.
Aizen stood up and gestured to the screen. "Not a one? Why not? Look at them. Some of them are stunning! What are we doing wrong?"
Gin shrugged, eyes on a certain strawberry blonde onscreen who was jumping up and down, clutching Momo's arm. He grinned wider.
"Halibel is some of our best work," Aizen mused. Then an uncharacteristic look of dread crossed his face. "Do you know how mad she's going to be?"
Both Gin and Tousen looked to him, paling slightly.
"Well, uh ... Ulquiorra is still at Las Noches. He can deal with her when they all get back." Aizen looked to the clock on the wall.
Gin sat back on the couch, a pleased smile on his face as the episode ended. "I can do this. Oh, hey, anyone know who Boris Vallejo is?"
Tousen plugged his ear buds back into his ears and turned up the volume as a Vanilla Ice tune came on.
Aizen nodded. "I think he wrote Star Trek."