When we arrive in Naqari, the sky is mix of blue and orange in the west,. We ride in smaller columns inside the city until we stop at the city’s gate.

  The soldiers make camps at the open field beyond the gate, while the nobles and royals stay inside, in the Gate House. This gate house is much bigger than Wienna’s. Part of the gate house is inside the Giant Wall, but most of it is jutted out in the city direction. And its two thin-towers are taller than the Giant Wall, from its top we can see to the north, beyond the wall.

  The captain of the gate welcomes us warmly and he also prepares a feast for us tonight.

  “It’s an honor for us, your highness,” he says jovially.

  The servants lead us to our room in one of the two towers, the captain previously said that each tower has no more than twenty rooms available so we have to share room with others. I share mine with Dela and one other female Blessed. As soon as we finish refresh ourselves, we come down to the hall below.

  In the hall, long tables have been prepared. The table for the royal is on the raised dais. While the other sit below with the Blessed and noble just right below the royal.

  The feast has already started when I enter the room, passing a bunch of men, ignoring their stolen glance. Now, I know what that particular glance mean. Suddenly, I remember the robbers from a life time ago and what they really want. Maybe Ryn was right. I was innocence and stupid.

  I take a sit. Nearby, servants are busy bringing foods to the tables. I see roasted piglet, chicken, beef and many more. There are also summer fruits like watermelon, pear, apple and grape. Wine flow freely, the finest wine is for the royals and nobles.

  Tonight, the nobles and peasant alike are drinking heavily.

  I should too.

  Maybe this will be the last time I enjoy rich food and fine wine but I simply not interested. I just sample few fruit and hot broth.

  “You look thinner,” says Dela who sit beside me.

  I just nod in agreement, for I too see the change in my body, the features in my face looks more distinctive now, more angular.

  Dela then asks me many things about the royals, mostly about the prince and princess.

  “So, he is the real prince?” she points the prince with her eyes.

  Again I nod. He has already revealed his true self to the people. Anyway, when the three of them stand together, only a few will keenly notice the difference beyond their tall frame and handsome faces. No need to keep secret.

  Prince Lex sits between his sister and one of his male cousin, Lord Zeff Koell, he is a young man in his early-twenty, this one look little different. His face less symmetric and less refined, he still can be called handsome but in common way. Not far from them, the prince’s fiancée, Lady Arla, sit with their other female cousins. The prince and his fiancée, they seem amiable to each other but no closer than their other cousin. But still, they will wed someday.

  Shouldn’t they at least try to be close?

  From afar, I see Lady May Gorm stands and walking to the prince, passing rows of tables, with two cup of wine in her hands. When she is passing my table I can see her more clearly, her long braid swing softly as she pass by.

  She is too young to be here.

  Finally, she stops in front of Prince Lex, and bowing to him and Princess Larra. She says something to the prince but I cannot hear from where I sit. I assume she wants a toast with the prince. Prince Lex stands, curtly nods and takes the cup, but Princess Larra deftly snatches the cup from his hand and says something to Lady May.

  She might say something hurtful again. I pity the little lady.

  Whatever the princess says, in the end, Lady May nods, and drinks the wine in swift gulp without hesitation. The princess waits for a while, then she brings the cup to her lips for a sip.

  Suddenly, Prince Lex knocks down Princess Larra’s cup. I hear people are shrieking, then I see Lady May is swaying in her feet and coughing madly. She covers her mouth with her palm, blood is dripping from her mouth.

  I look at Princess Larra again, and she starts to sway too. In quick motion, Prince Lex holds her shoulder to make her steady. I hear he calls out for healer in frantic shout.

  The revelry evaporates, and the room full of dread.

  Is it too late? Please no…

  The princess tries to calm down her brother but her body betrays her. Blood trickles down to her chin in single flow.

  One burly soldier swiftly carries Princess Larra out, and her many cousins trailing behind, all with worried face.

  Lady May is dead, without doubt, she is huddled in the floor now. She looks pitifully small in her death.

  Why? Why she did that?

  “AREST THEM ALL!” Prince Lex roars.

  He commands that all Lady May clan members and party to be locked. Those bewildered clan members go with the soldiers without a fight, for they look genuinely surprised.

  Prince Lex’ eyes are wild, blind with rage, but luckily Lord Zeff succeed in calming him down. He then takes the enraged prince out, following the princess.

  Shortly, we all back to our room. The festive is over.

  “Why do you think she did that?” Dela asks me. We lay in our bed, still unable to sleep.

  I shake my head, “I don’t know.”

  ***

  The time of execution comes near. I see grey sky above and light rain fall to the ground warding off the summer heat. Dela comes down to see the execution but I stay here in our room. I cannot stomach it. I do pity them. Desire and greed in people’s heart often clash and it is hurting others without care.

  This morning, I heard from the servant that Princess Larra is alive although her condition is bad, and still unconscious. It seems she only drank a few sips of the wine before it knocked down by her brother. But Prince Lex is furious. He refuses to spare Gorm Clan life. They will put to death this afternoon, without any trial, though, the fervently denied any knowledge of the dreadful event last night.

  People still don’t know what make Lady May did that. It is suck foolish and traitorous thing to do. What make her so bold? What makes her throw away her own life? What will happen to her clan and family now? I pity her family and somehow Lady May too. She was even younger than my sister, they both died in vain.

  I know that many want the prince death, the Cryg Confederacy or the lost soul. The empress slaughters many of the nobles too in her quest of the throne. I have seen them in the Cursed Temple. But she is the empress now.

  Do they really want to make a Godless Empire like in the west? But I know it is not the matter of our desire or dream, for we cannot live without Gods’ bless. They are the reason we still stand tall until this day.

  A sudden though comes in my mind and it won’t go away.

  I should stop him. Yes, I should.

  I run to the prince’s room through winding narrow stair. I run as fast as I can. My heart beats fast, my lung needs air and my breath ragged. Suddenly, I halt, nearly crashing the soldier guarding outside his room. I know he locks himself there since last night, and no one dare to approach. Fortunately, the soldier is from the palace and he knows me. So he let me in easily.

  The room is dark and stuffy. He blocks the sun ray from the only window in the wall. I see him sit in the floor, near the foot of the bed. He still wears his last night clothes, trouser and long tunic made of maroon silk with golden dragon embroidery. His face looks haggard and his shoulder slumped.

  “Your highness…” I said softly, braving myself, coming closer to him.

  He said nothing as if he doesn’t hear me. He keeps staring blankly ahead.

  I lightly touch his arm. He looks at me then, but he just stares, as if not recognizing me, and out of sudden he takes me in his arm. His body trembled in my arm, in silent tears.

  The understanding dawned at me.

  “You can stop it. You don’t have to do it,” I say while stroking his back.

  “They will think I weak if I do,” his voice thick.


  “No, they will think you are wise and generous leader. It is not too late,” I pull back and see his eyes, “Please, my prince.” I feel a single tear is flowing down in, wetting my cheek.

  “My sister–” he stutters.

  “She will live,” I cut him.

  Then he nods. I feel weight leaves my chest.

  “You tell them.”

  I nod and briefly squeeze his hand. And run as fast as possible to the yard where the execution will be held.

  I hope it is not too late.

  ***

  The light rain turn into heavy now, it soaks the ground below. The grey clouds cover the sun completely. From the Gate House’s terrace I see the field where the execution should be held is empty. The rain splattered around me dampened my thin silk skirt. In my haste, I didn’t wear any cloak.

  The young servant soft voice wakes me up from my reverie. She says Prince Lex is waiting for me in his room. I walk slowly ascending the stair to his room at top of the west tower. When I come to his room, he just freshly bathed and another servant helps him put new clothes. After seeing me, he commands the servant to go, and I help him in her place. I tie sash made of silk inlaid with gold thread in his waist. And brush his long hair afterward.

  “Thank you for today, your highness,” I say after finished fashioning his hair in simple knot.

  He turns around in his seat and holds my hand in his palm.

  “It’s I, the one that should thank you, I think you’re right I should be wiser and calmer,” he stops and then he raises his hand to cup my cheek, “Do you still hate me?”

  “No, my prince. I never hate you.”

  “My fiancée, Arla… You know her, don’t you?”

  I nod.

  “We are betrothed as long as I can remember. She is… nice and warm hearted girl. While I can’t say that I love her. I can’t set her aside.” He looks my face intently seeking for any reaction.

  Yes, my prince. I know.

  “Even if I want… my mother won’t let me,” he smiles bitterly.

  “I know–”

  “Do you, really?” he cuts me. He tilts his face, and I see sadness in his eyes, “Stay with me, here by my side,” he says in calmly but his eyes tells different story.

  I shake my head.

  Why me? I desperately want to ask.

  “Truly? Not even as a friend?”

  “A friend?”

  “Yes, a friend,” he releases my cheek. “As you can see I have none. And I trust you,” he smiles his bitter smile again. “Will you?”

  I nod.

  Yes, a friend. I can do that.

  He stands up and pulls me closer.

  “One last kiss,” he whispers in my ear, “May I?”

  “Yes–”

  He cuts me with a kiss, drowning my answer. He kisses me in a long passionate kiss. He hugs me tight. I feel desperation and sadness in his kiss. I kiss him back gently.

  I will miss being kissed.

  After a while he breaks our kiss. He puts his forehead in mine, our breath mingle.

  “You should go now before I change my mine,” he rasped.

  Should I?

  Of course I should. He is forbidden to me. I have to keep my heart intact, unbroken. So, I slip out from his embrace and race to my room.

  With ragged breath, I enter the room. Both Dela and Nesha, who is another Blessed that stay in this room, are talking animatedly but they let their words unfinished when they see me. As if suddenly remembering their manner, they immediately close their agape mouth then turn around awkwardly to resumes their little chat.

  Do they know about me and the prince?

  Maybe this is just my feeling.

  I sigh softly, just let them gossip.

  So many thing happened today and no time to worry of people’s chatter. I walk slowly to bed pass through Dela and Nesha.

  I lie down in the mattress, thinking back about the prince and the prisoners. Thanks Gods, Prince Lex let them live. They are now just locked at underground prison instead of buried six feet under. I cannot say them same thing for soldiers in the north, though.

  The north… The war. Please let them safe.

  I let out a soft sigh again. With Princess Larra in the brink of death, we have to stay here longer. I hope she will alive. I cannot say that I like the princess but she is a brave girl for sure, and care for the people. It is not done to wish her ill.

  I feel time fly slowly but night and darkness comes eventually. Rain still fall from heaven and wind is howling outside. I turn around in my bed, trying to catch a sleep that eludes me. Dela and Nesha are sleeping soundly beside me. They still act strangely, especially Dela. She is not as talkative as usual.

  Let them be. Let people talk. Let them stare.

  Slowly I get up from our bed, not wanting to wake them up. I pick a book from my bag and bring it to the small table near the window. This is book from Uncle Yezi’s shop and written by Westlander in their own language. I lit a small candle, but all I can do is staring blankly at the page. I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder. It is Dela. She then sits in the chair in front of me.

  “Is it true?” she asks without preamble.

  “What is true?”

  “You know, you and the prince. People talk about the two of you. And today you stop the execution.”

  “He is my friend.” Technically I am not lying. I am his friend now.

  “A friend?” she giggles in disbelief. “Ok, if it’s what you said. I envy you, you know? A handsome prince as a friend. Ah… but I know I shouldn’t , with pretty face like yours it’s expected that you will catch someone in the palace. But the prince himself. Sure you’re a lucky girl.” She continues with her mirth. I let her be until she tired and go to bed.

  Am I really lucky?

  But I don’t feel lucky at all.

  ***

  On second day, the rain stops and the sky is shining brightly again. The prince summons me early in the morning. He says I will keep his company from now on as his trusted friend. I follow him to the war meeting with the generals, the Blessed’s leaders and clan’s leaders. The prince is sitting in the head of the table, and I sit next to him. I see few stolen glace are thrown at me. But I keep my face impassive, trying to turn my face into a stony mask.

  Let them be. Let them see. Let them talk.

  There are three leaders from the Blessed. One is a man in late fifty, his name is Lord Kigan Dearg. Although he is in his advanced age, he seems still strong and capable. He still has vigor of man half his age. The other is a young man in his late twenty but his eyes seem older than his age. It looks weary and solemn. Both men are Fire Blessed. The last is female in her late thirty, I know this one. She is the one, the empress send to chase the pirate in the south and come back with report that the lost soul already defeated the pirate.

  Three generals sit in opposite row form the Blesseds. They are Lor Van Darr, Lord Max Sevarr and General Wazax Jaqo, all wear dark green uniform.

  So, there are nine of them, three generals, three Blesseds, Prince Lex and two of his cousins, Lord Zeff and Lady Anna Kim. It is ten if one count me but I don’t think I should.

  “We should march to the north immediately,” says Lady Anna.

  “I know you worry about your mother, Coz. But Larra…” Lord Zeff catches himself.

  “It’s what she wants too. I believe,” the young lady says stubbornly.

  So, she is Princess Vianna’s daughter and that makes her Malvin’s sister. She seems not that much older than him. And I understand her resolve to march north.

  “I think, we better wait for few days, my lady,” says Lord Van, “We can try to get more soldiers while waiting here.”

  “Yes, I’ll demand more soldiers from those ministers,” Prince Lex says with cold voice, “I know your worry, Anna. But I cannot possible left my sister here,” he says more softly to Lady Anna.

  Finally, they all agree that the foot soldiers should go north f
irst, while the others will wait few days here, at least until the princess wake up.

  The healer said she will fine soon. She said the jade pendant, the princess wears keep her alive. Jade is precious stone, only a royal is permitted to use it. It is said it can ward off an evil energy.

  After we finish with one matter, another debate of who should be sent to lead the soldiers begins.

  “Let me lead this soldiers, your highness,” says General Wazax.

  But before Prince Lex answers his request, comes another, “Surely not you,” says Lord Arga Varres in chilling voice. He is one of the Blessed’s leader.

  “What is your meaning, my lord?” General Wazax’s eyes glinting with repressed anger. He seems take offense of Lord Arga words.

  Soft knock from the door, make them pause, then a female servant comes in, she brings the news of Princess Larra. Hastily, the prince appoints Lord Van Darr, senior general in his fifty years, to lead the meeting.

  Prince Lex and I, we walk to the princess’ room as fast as possible but it is hard to keep up with the prince’s long stride. So, I end up run in the end.

  Princess Larra is still lying in her bed when we enter her room, and the healer is feeding her with some murky tonic. Her complexion pale but it cannot deter her beauty. She looks delicate and fragile instead.

  I see two of her female cousins are hovering nearby, one of them is Lady Arla. My heart skips a beat, and hastily I bow to both of them. I desperately want to flee the room, but I know I will just make a scene.

  “Sit here, my lady,” Lady Alra bid me to sit in small wooden chair.

  I nod and say my thanks.

  She nods back and smiles sweetly. We end up sitting next to each other.

  I sit there as quiet as a mouse. I feel my face turn into stone.

  ***

  On the third day, summer heat comes at full force. At mid-day, once again I follow Prince Lex to war meeting. It feels so hot inside, and beads of sweats always dampen my skin.

  I look at the faces around the table. It seems they always find something to fight over.

  “Beg my pardon, my lord, but seven hundreds soldiers are too small. I can possible spare them for you,” belies his own words, I don’t hear any trace of contrite in General Wazax voice.

  “So, you expect US to march alone?” asks Lord Arga incredulously.

  “Why, yes, of course. You being the Blessed and all,” says General Wazax in sarcasm.