Gavin was out of the bed in one swift movement, hastily throwing his tunic over his head. He took the steps two at a time, but he stopped at the last turn of the spiral staircase. Judith lay just below him on a pallet, her auburn hair in a tangled mass about her head, one leg bent under her. For a moment, his heart stopped.
“Don’t touch her!” he said with a low growl as he leaped the last steps and knelt beside her. “How?” he murmured as he touched her hand, then felt for the pulse at her neck.
“She seems to have fallen down the stairs,” Stephen said as he knelt next to his sister-in-law.
Gavin looked up and saw Alice on the landing, her robe clutched about her, smiling slightly. Gavin felt there was something missing in the puzzle but he had no time to search for it.
“The physician has been sent for,” Stephen said as he held Judith’s hand. She didn’t open her eyes.
The physician came slowly, dressed in a rich fur-collared robe. “Give me room,” he demanded. “I must look for broken bones.”
Gavin moved back and watched the man run his hands over Judith’s limp body. Why? How? Gavin kept wondering. What was she doing on the stairs in the middle of the night? His eyes went back to Alice. The woman stood quietly, avid interest on her face, as the doctor examined Judith. The room where Gavin awakened to find himself in bed with Alice was at the head of the stairs. He felt the blood drain from his face as he glanced again at his wife. Judith had seen him in bed with Alice! She had backed away, probably too upset to look where she was going, and had fallen. But how had she known where he was? Only if someone had told her where to look.
“No bones seem to be broken,” the physician said. “Take her to her bed and let her rest.”
Gavin murmured a prayer of thanksgiving, then bent and lifted his wife’s limp form. The crowd of people around them gasped when he held her. The pallet and her gown were soaked with blood.
“She miscarries the child,” Queen Elizabeth said at Gavin’s elbow. “Carry her above. I will have my own midwife look at her.”
Gavin could feel the warmth of Judith’s blood on his arm through the sleeves of his tunic. A strong hand was placed on his shoulder, and he knew without looking that Stephen was there.
“My lady!” Joan gasped when Gavin entered the room carrying Judith. “I just now returned and she was gone. She has been hurt!” Joan’s voice showed the love she had for her mistress. “Will she be all right?”
“We don’t know,” Stephen answered.
Gavin gently put his wife on the bed.
“Joan,” Queen Elizabeth said. “Fetch warm water from the kitchen and clean linen.”
“Linen, Your Majesty?”
“For absorbing the blood. She miscarries the baby. When you have the linen, fetch Lady Helen. She will want to be with her daughter.”
“My poor lady,” Joan whispered. “She wanted this child so much.” There were tears in her voice as she left the room.
“Go now,” Elizabeth urged as she turned back to the two men. “You must leave her. You are of no use. We will see to her.”
Stephen put his arm around his brother’s shoulders but Gavin shrugged it away. “No, Your Majesty, I won’t go. Had I been with her tonight, she wouldn’t have been hurt.”
Stephen started to speak but Elizabeth stopped him. She knew it would be no use. “You may stay.” She nodded to Stephen and he departed.
Gavin stroked Judith’s forehead as he looked up at the queen. “Tell me what to do.”
“Take her robe off.”
Gavin carefully untied the garment, then gently lifted Judith and took her arms from the sleeves. He was horrified to see the blood on her thighs. He stared at it for a moment, not moving.
Elizabeth watched him. “Birthing is not a pleasant sight.”
“This is not a birth, but a…” He could not finish.
“She must have been far along to show so much blood. This will indeed be a birth, though with less pleasant results.”
They both looked up as the midwife, a fat, red-faced woman burst into the chamber. “Do you intend to freeze the poor girl?” she demanded. “Here! We need no men,” she said to Gavin.
“He will stay,” Queen Elizabeth said firmly.
The midwife looked at Gavin for a moment. “Go then and fetch the water from the maid. She takes too long to carry it up the stairs.”
Gavin reacted immediately.
“Her husband, Your Majesty?” the midwife asked when Gavin was gone.
“Yes, and their first child.”
The fat woman snorted. “He should have taken better care of her, Your Majesty, and not let her roam about the halls at night.”
As soon as Gavin set the water down inside the room, the woman snapped more orders at him. “Find her some clothes and keep her warm.”
Joan, who had entered behind Gavin, rummaged in a chest and handed him a warm woolen gown. Gavin carefully dressed Judith, all the while watching the blood slowly seep from her. Perspiration appeared on her forehead and he wiped it away with a cool cloth. “Will she be all right?” he whispered.
“I can’t answer that. It depends on whether we can get all the birth out of her and if we can get the bleeding to stop.” Judith moaned and moved her head. “Keep her quiet or she’ll make our work harder.”
“Judith,” Gavin said quietly. “Be still.” He took her hands in his when she began to move them about.
She opened her eyes. “Gavin?” she whispered.
“Yes. Don’t talk now. Be still and rest. You will be well soon.”
“Well?” She did not seem fully aware of her state. Then a violent cramp shot through her. Her hands clutched at his. Judith looked up at him, bewildered. “What happened?” she gasped then her eyes began to focus clearly. The queen, her maid and another woman knelt over her, looking at her with concern. Another spasm rocked her.
“Come,” the midwife said. “We must knead her stomach and help her.”
“Gavin!” Judith said in fright, panting after the last pain.
“Quiet, my love. You will soon be well. There will be other children.”
Her eyes opened in horror. “Child? My baby? Am I losing my baby?” Her voice rose almost hysterically.
“Judith, please,” Gavin said, soothing her. “There will be others.”
Another pain shot through Judith as she stared at Gavin, her memory returning. “I fell off the stairs,” she said quietly. “I saw you in bed with your whore and I fell from the stairs.”
“Judith, this is not the time—”
“Don’t touch me!”
“Judith,” Gavin said, half-pleading.
“Do I disappoint you that I’m not dead? As my child is now dead?” Her eyes blinked back tears. “Go to her. You wanted her so badly, and you are welcome to her!”
“Judith—” Gavin began, but Queen Elizabeth took his arm.
“Perhaps you should go.”
“Yes,” he agreed as Judith refused to look at him. Stephen waited outside the door for him, his brows raised in question. “The child is lost and I don’t know yet if Judith will live.”
“Come below,” Stephen said. “They won’t allow you to stay with her?”
“Judith wouldn’t allow it,” Gavin said flatly.
Stephen didn’t speak again until they were outside the manor house. The sun was just beginning to rise, the sky gray. The commotion caused by Judith’s fall made the castlefolk rise earlier than usual. The brothers sat on a bench by the castle wall. “Why was she walking about the hall at night?” Stephen asked.
“I don’t know. When you and I parted, I fell into a bed—the nearest one at the top of the stairs.”
“Perhaps she woke and found you were gone and came to search for you.”
Gavin didn’t answer.
“There is more to this that you aren’t telling me.”
“Yes. When Judith saw me, I was in bed with Alice.”
Never before had Stephen offered a judgment of
his brother. Now his face blackened. “You may have killed Judith! And for what? That bitch—” He broke off when he saw Gavin’s bleak profile. “You were too drunk to want a woman. Or if you wanted one, Judith waited above for you.”
Gavin stared across the courtyard. “I didn’t take her to bed,” he said quietly. “I was asleep and I heard a noise which woke me. Alice lay beside me. I wasn’t so drunk last night that I would have taken her to my bed and not remembered.”
“Then how?”
“I don’t know.”
“I do!” Stephen said through clenched teeth. “You are a sensible man except when it comes to that witch!”
For the first time, Gavin didn’t defend Alice.
Stephen continued. “You have never been able to see her for what she is. Don’t you know she sleeps with half the men at the court?”
Gavin turned and stared at him.
“You may look at me in disbelief, but she is the jest of all the men—and I’m sure most of the women. From stableboy to earl, she doesn’t care, so long as they have the equipment to pleasure her.”
“If she’s like that, then I have made her that way. She was a virgin when I first took her.”
“Virgin, hah! The Earl of Lancashire swears he had her when she was only twelve years old.”
Gavin’s expression was one of disbelief.
“Look at what she has done to you. She has controlled you and used you—and you have allowed it. No, you have begged for more. Tell me, what method did she use to keep you from loving Judith straightaway?”
Gavin stared with sightless eyes. He was reliving the scene in the garden on his wedding day. “She vowed to kill herself if I loved my wife.”
Stephen leaned his head back against the stone wall. “God’s wounds! And you believed her? That woman would willingly kill thousands before she would endanger one hair on her own head.”
“But I asked her to marry me,” Gavin persisted. “Before I ever heard of Judith, I asked her to marry me.”
“Yet she chose a rich earl instead.”
“But her father—”
“Gavin! Can’t you look at her with clear eyes? Do you think that drunkard of a father of hers ever gave anyone an order? Even his servants don’t obey him! Were he a strong man, would she have had such freedom to slip about the countryside with you at night?”
It was hard for Gavin to believe all this of Alice. She was so pink and blonde, so delicate, so shy. She looked up at him with great tears in her eyes and his heart melted. He remembered how he felt when she threatened to take her own life. He would have done anything for her. Yet even then his attraction to Judith had been enormous.
“You aren’t convinced,” Stephen said.
“I’m not sure. Old dreams die hard. She is a beautiful woman.”
“Yes, and you fell in love with that beauty. You never questioned what else was there. You say you didn’t take her to your bed. How did she get there then?”
When Gavin didn’t answer, Stephen continued. “The slut stripped her own clothes off and planted herself there. Then she sent someone to summon Judith.”
Gavin rose. He didn’t want to hear any more. “I must go and see if Judith is well,” he murmured and walked back to the manor house. All his life, since he was sixteen, Gavin had been responsible for property and men. He had never had the carefree time of his brothers to court women and learn of their natures. True, there had been many women in his bed, but always they were gone quickly. No woman had spent time close to him, laughing and talking with him. He had grown up believing all women were like he remembered his mother—pretty, sweet-tempered, gentle. Alice had always seemed to be the epitome of those traits, and as a result, he had become infatuated with her almost immediately.
Judith had been the first woman he had really known. At first she had infuriated him. She was not obedient, as a woman should be. She would rather concern herself with his household account books than the colors used in a piece of embroidery. She was breathtakingly beautiful, but she seemed unaware of her beauty. She did not spend hours on her clothes. In truth, Joan often chose her mistress’s attire. Judith seemed to be everything undesirable, unfeminine. Yet Gavin had fallen in love with her. She was honest, brave, generous—and she made him laugh. Never once had Alice shown even a touch of humor.
Gavin stood outside the door of Judith’s chamber. He knew he no longer loved Alice, but could she be as treacherous as Stephen said? As Raine and Miles also said? How did she come to be in his bed except for the reason Stephen gave?
The door opened and the midwife stepped into the hall. Gavin grabbed her arm. “How is she?”
“Sleeping now. The child was born dead.”
Gavin took a deep, calming breath. “Will my wife recover?”
“I don’t know. She has lost much blood. I don’t know if it was from the infant, or perhaps something inside was damaged in the fall.”
Gavin’s face drained of color. “Didn’t you say she lost blood from the child?” He didn’t want to believe that something else could be wrong.
“How long have you been wed to her?”
“Nearly four months,” he answered, surprised.
“And she was a virgin when you took her?”
“Yes,” he said, remembering the pain he had caused her.
“She was quite far along. The child was well formed. I would say she conceived that first night or the next. No later. Perhaps there is so much blood because the child was so well advanced. It’s too early to tell.”
She turned to go, but Gavin grabbed her arm. “How will you know?”
“When the bleeding stops and she is still alive.”
He released her arm. “You say she sleeps. May I go to her?”
The old woman chuckled. “Young men! They never seem to deny themselves. You bed one woman while another waits for you. Now you hover over the first one. You should choose one or the other.”
Gavin swallowed his reply, but his scowl made the smile leave her face.
“Yes, you may go to her,” the woman said quietly, then turned and went down to the stairs.
The rain came down in slashing sheets. The wind bent the trees almost in half. Lightning flashed and far away a tree split and crashed. But the four people who stood around the tiny coffin that the workers had just lowered into the ground, were unaware of the cold torrent. Their bodies swayed with the gale, but they did not notice it.
Helen stood by John, her body limp, leaning heavily against the strength of him for support. Her eyes were dry and hot. Stephen stood close to Gavin, ready if his brother should need him.
It was John and Stephen who exchanged looks, the rain running down their faces, dripping into their clothes. John gently led Helen away from the little gravesite and Stephen guided Gavin. The storm had started suddenly, after the priest had begun to read the words over the tiny coffin.
Stephen and John looked as if they were leading two blind and helpless people across the graveyard. They led Helen and Gavin into a mausoleum and left them there while they went to get the horses.
Gavin sank heavily onto an iron bench. The child had been a son. His first son, he thought. Every word he’d said to Judith about the child not being his rang in his ears. And the baby was dead because of him. He dropped his head into his hands.
“Gavin,” Helen said as she sat beside him and put her arm about his shoulders. They’d had so little to do with each other since Helen screamed she wished she’d killed her daughter before allowing her to marry him. But over the months many things had changed. Helen had found out what it was like to love someone, and now she recognized love in Gavin’s eyes. She saw the pain he suffered over his lost child, the fear he had of losing Judith.
Gavin turned to his mother-in-law. He never thought of any hostility between them. He saw and remembered only that Helen was close to the woman he loved. He put his arms about her, but he did not hold her. No, it was Helen who held her son-in-law, and Helen who felt the hotness of
his tears through her rain-soaked gown. And finally Helen found release for her own tears.
Joan sat by her sleeping mistress. Judith’s color was gone, her hair damp with perspiration. “She will soon be well,” Joan said to Gavin’s unasked question.
“I’m not so sure.” He touched his wife’s hot cheek.
“It was a nasty fall she took,” Joan said, staring intently at Gavin.
Gavin only nodded, more concerned with Judith than with any talk.
“What do you plan to do to her?” Joan continued.
“Do to her?” Gavin demanded. “I hope only to see her well once again.”
Joan waved her hand. “No, I mean to Lady Alice. What punishment do you plan for the trick she played? Trick!” Joan snorted. “A trick that may cost my lady her life!”
“Don’t say that,” Gavin growled.
“I ask you again: what punishment do you plan?”
“Hold your tongue, woman! I know nothing of a trick.”
“No? Then I will speak my piece. There is a woman below, in the kitchen, who cries her eyes from her head. She has a gold coin which she says Lady Alice gave her to lead my lady to you while you were in bed with that whore. The girl says she thought she would have done anything for the coin, but she didn’t mean murder. She says Lady Judith’s baby’s death and maybe the lady’s own death are her fault and that she will go to hell for their murders.”
Gavin realized it was time to face the truth. “I would like to see this woman and speak with her,” he said quietly.
Joan rose. “I will fetch the girl if I can find her.”
Gavin sat with Judith, watching, noting that her natural color was returning.
It was some time later when Joan came back, pulling a frightened and cowering girl behind her. “This is the slut!” Joan said and gave the servant a vicious push. “Look at my mistress as she lies there. You have killed a baby, and now you may kill my lady. And she never hurt a soul. Do you know she often lectured me for mistreating scum like you?”
“Quiet!” Gavin commanded. The girl was obviously very frightened. “Tell me what you know of my wife’s accident.”