I've disrupted your thoughts I'm gratified as a female. I don't often have such an effect on a man."
"Yes, I'm a captain," Horss managed to say. "Women don't usually make such an entrance into my presence! Is climbing buildings a local sport?"
"From time to time. It gets boring. I usually do it naked and at night but it wasn't quite dark and I didn't know how you would react to that."
"I'm sorry I raised such concern in your etiquette."
Horss wasn't sure of his own etiquette. When Denna started to peel off what little covering she had, Horss found himself turning away and waving his hand to signal cessation. He was not really embarrassed but there was some reason he wanted to keep the encounter less prurient. Perhaps it was Fred's presence. Sugai Mai was also now hovering over his post-Navy existence.
Denna heeded Horss's signal. She scraped the perspiration from her brow and mouth with the edge of her hand. Her smile became a grin and her eyes almost lost their natural sadness. "I'm soaked!" she declared. "Fred, would you please get a towel for me? I forgot to pack one."
There was something about Denna that was immediate and vital yet placed her just out of reach, in the sense that Horss felt he would never be fully accepted into her life. There was also something vaguely familiar about her. Perhaps the eyes.
"You don't look so dangerous, Captain," she remarked, clearly interested in him personally.
Earth women were making a good impression on Horss. "I'm sorry I can't uphold Navy tradition at the moment," he said. "Please, don't report this to my superiors."
Denna laughed. She stopped laughing. "I haven't laughed in such a long time!" She wiped the perspiration on her face and mouth again. "I think my smile muscles are getting tired from unaccustomed use. You are a pleasant surprise, Captain! Will you be here long? I'd like to know you better."
"I could be here a very long time." That prospect was looking better to Horss, both in the probability of it happening and in the company he would have if he did stay on Earth.
Fred returned quickly with a towel for Denna and Horss looked away while she dried herself. She opened her pack and took out a clump of sparkling fabric which became a dress when she held it out to unfold. She slipped it on. She stepped in front of Horss to model the garment for him.
"I have so few good clothes now. Is it too cheap? Too sexy?"
"That depends on your purpose. My assumption is that you picked the right piece in your wardrobe. And I thank you! Your name is Denna."
"You know what I came for? Let's start with your name, Captain."
"Jon Horss. Maybe I don't know what you came for."
"Nothing ever happens here! Oh, maybe a few murders or suicides. But the Navy, now that's dangerous and exciting. Are you here alone?"
"You know I'm not."
"I heard there was a child with you." She hesitated with such a strained expression on her face that Horss had to await her next words. "I had a child." Denna spoke softly and slowly. She should have been speaking as her spying act required of her, but Horss could sense real pain in her voice. It was part of his skill as a captain to pick out the true meaning in the words of those speaking to him.
"You had a child?" he inquired. "Past tense? Or should I not question that?"
"It spills out when I least want it!" she said with irritation. "Yes, Daniel died."
"I offer sympathy for your loss. Did he not live long?"
She took a deep breath and for a moment Horss thought she would not reply. He hoped she wouldn't unburden herself too much. In the aftermath of Samson's injury, he was not ready for more tragedy. This woman, however, could probably command anyone's attention and anyone's sympathy.
"He was only thirteen when he died. My husband paid so little attention to him. Daniel ran away one day. He was attacked by a tiger."
"That's terrible!" Horss stifled his imagination to keep it from painting an unwanted scene of horror. He wanted Mai to arrive soon and transmat with him to the old artist's residence. But the wait was certainly filled with interesting people. People made life worth living, and made life difficult to live. He wondered if Denna realized how she affected people, how her personal tragedy gripped the feelings of any sensitive person.
"I was the one who found his remains," she said, staring at nothing. "They took that memory away from me but they didn't take away my imagination. It was so many years ago but I still have nightmares, even after rejuvenation."
Horss's memory flashed and he saw Samson's severed leg in the corridor of the African Space Elevator. He grimaced. Denna seemed unaware of his discomfort as she walked into the residence and looked around. Horss and Fred followed her inside.
"Where is he?" Denna asked.
"Pan? He was invited to dinner."
"We're here alone?"
"Just the three of us."
"Fred, go away."
"Sir?"
"Stay," Horss quickly said. "I need a chaperone. Do you remember her son, Fred?" It was not a question he wanted to ask. He just wanted to keep Fred near.
"We were good friends."
/
Those four words carried enough meaning that both Horss and Denna had to stare at the android, waiting for it to continue. Freddy seemed to sense his mistake - that in his instant appraisal of Fred's memory he had revealed a hint of sentience. He kept Fred silent.
/
Horss didn't want to pursue the subject of children further but Denna's pain bothered him and in his current state of mind he wished he could do something about it.
"How long ago did you know Daniel?" Horss inquired of Fred.
"Sixty-one years ago, sir." Freddy made his voice almost too mechanical and flat.
"And after all this time you still grieve for him," Horss said to Denna. "Why?" When Denna wouldn't respond, he turned to Fred.
"Denna was severely damaged by the death of her son. Psychological remedies were ineffective. Subsequent events have perhaps served to maintain Denna's state of mind. She refuses any further treatment."
"It's the same as death!" Denna declared. "You lose some memories you would not want to lose, despite yourself. You become someone else. But I can't lose a memory I don't have. And I can't forget what I need to imagine. I am who I am. I'll always be who I am, until I die. I won't change. I won't forget what is stolen from me!"
"We all become someone else eventually," Horss said, "even without rejuvenation. You would rather be unhappy."
"Damned right! Do you have a child, Captain Horss? Do you have any idea what I might feel about remembering my son?"
"I have an idea." Horss thought about the daughter he could have had. He also thought about Samson.
Denna dropped onto a sofa and put her feet up on a hassock. She seemed to turn off her emotions, or at least turn them to a different polarity. "You sound pretty decent for a Navy man, Captain. Sorry for the back-handed compliment! I think you're just plain decent." She put her sad eyes on Fred. "Fred, I'm thirsty. Do you still do butlery around here?"
"Yes, ma'am. What would you like to drink?"
"Ice water with carbonation and a squeeze of lime."
Fred departed for the kitchen. Horss sat down in a chair next to the sofa.
"Pan adopted you, I hear," Horss said. "Is that something you would talk to me about?"
"I'm supposed to be asking the questions." She was smiling again.
"Give and take," Horss proposed.
"I had two brothers and three sisters. Does that shock you?"
"You were immigrants from Fringe Space. The authorities broke up your family."
"You already know my story?"
"Logical deduction."
"They did. I was twelve. I was a big twelve-year-old. I ran away. I made people think I was a rejuve, not a child. I came to Earth because there was no law here to bother me. Pan found me and tried to take care of me, and for a long time I was reasonably happy. Where did you grow up, Captain?"
"A mining camp. There were no surface-habitable bodies, not even
proper habitats, just ships and rock camps in the asteroids of a distant star. I was one of eight children. Does that shock you?"
"Amazing!"
"I was the youngest. Two of my siblings died before I was born, three more before I was old enough to escape to the Navy. It was a tough life, mixing the primitive nature of our historical Earth culture with asteroid mining. You could say we were hunter-gatherers, in a sense even more primitive than the plains folk who were my ancestors on the North American continent."
"Were you married?"
"An arranged marriage, beneficial to the cooperation between tribes. But I was very young and not wise and not patient. And I had all my older siblings to view as examples of the life ahead of me. A Navy ship stopped for supplies when I was about ten and I got to visit inside the ship. From that moment onward, I knew where I would go and what I would do when I had the chance."
"Did you serve in the war?" Denna asked.
"I joined the Navy after the war."
"The child, the boy. Is he yours? How old?"
"Samson is about nine. No, he isn't mine."
"What does he look like?"
"Skinny and sunburned. Needs a haircut. Mixed parentage: Asian and European."
"Was he injured?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"You wouldn't believe me."
"How badly?"
"I don't think I should tell you. I've already made you talk about the death of your own son."
"It was serious then."
She's about to weep, Horss thought. "Don't let your imagination run away. Samson is doing fine, or he would be in the Mnro Clinic."
"He isn't in the Clinic? The woman. Is he with the woman officer?"
"You know about the admiral." Horss sensed alarm in Denna's last question.