resented it and resisted it for a moment, but it grew in strength and she became helpless to deny it. It was a feeling that belonged with the name Zakiya, and she reluctantly gave way to the odd feeling of losing her old - but newer - identity.
Fidelity was the name of a woman Alex had married long after the crew of the Frontier disbanded. She never knew her well and had always envied her, yet had for some reason adopted her name years after she disappeared on the Titanic. Aylis Mnro only knew Fidelity as Zakiya, and that made it certain she would take her real name back.
The chasm of centuries-apart closed and the ache of motherhood-denied melted away. She arose and took two steps forward. Aylis rushed to close the gap, gathered her within her arms, and hugged. Zakiya returned the pressure. They held each other fiercely.
"Do you understand what is happening to us and to Pan?" Aylis asked.
"I'm beginning to see a pattern," Fidelity-who-was-Zakiya said.
"Then you are one step ahead of me, Zakiya. I was doing crazy things and didn't know why! I was scared!" Aylis paused and took something out of a pocket. "Do you have one of these? I seem to remember there were two." Aylis opened her palm to show a small but vivid object. When she lowered her hand slightly, the ovoid object floated in the air. Mai gasped.
"Holy cow!" Horss exclaimed. "She's got another one!"
It was another cryptikon. Zakiya-Fidelity produced hers from the silver bag.
"I thought there was only one!" Mai said, reaching for the floating artifact, trembling to grasp it.
"We now know of three," Zakiya said, "and I believe there is at least one other. The Lady in the Mirror was quite upset at seeing it in my hand."
"Who?" Aylis asked.
"Didn't you tell them about the Lady in the Mirror, Jon?"
"They wouldn't have believed me! I didn't believe Freddy when he told me! I didn't even believe it when she was trying to kill us!"
"Where have you been?" Aylis asked, displaying alarm and concern. Mai also turned her shocked expression toward Horss.
"Hasn't Jon or Freddy told you about Oz, or the Big Ball?" Fidelity-Zakiya asked.
"That's what they call it?" Aylis queried. "I didn't believe it either!"
"A place of great beauty and great terror," Zakiya-Fidelity said. "I had friends there, and enemies, including one who can appear anywhere and destroy almost anything. The Lady in the Mirror. I was separated from Samson and Rafael when Freddy and Daidaunkh rescued me. Daidaunkh stayed behind with the gatekeeper to try to find them."
Zakiya described The Lady in the Mirror, with Horss adding a few more adjectives.
"We can't continue?" Aylis asked. "What will we do?"
"Keep moving," Zakiya said. "Pretend we still have a chance. The cryptikons provide some amount of protection."
"Who is Zakiya?" Mai asked, giving the cryptikon back to Aylis.
"My oldest friend," Aylis said, touching Zakiya. "Also known as Fidelity Demba."
"And Commodore Keshona," Horss added. "And Ruby Reed."
"Yes, I now remember Ruby Reed," Aylis said. "Zakiya Muenda is her real name. We served together, back before the Navy existed. We were explorers."
"But that was..." Mai started to say.
"Too long ago?" Aylis suggested.
"Deep Space Fleet," Horss said. "I believe you! You are Aylis Mnro, aren't you?"
"Would you then believe Zakiya and I served aboard the Frontier?"
"It was a real ship?" Horss asked, astonished.
"It was," Aylis said, smiling at his reaction.
"And the captain?" he queried.
"A real person," Aylis said, and nodded at Zakiya. "Her husband."
"But..." Horss said.
She only half listened to them speak. Zakiya tried to fit herself to the name her mother gave her almost three centuries in the past. She didn't fit it, not yet. She was a person with no name at all. All she knew at this moment was that she could sing, and that she had lost Samson.
= = =
Wearing the cleaned yellow dress given her by Rafael, Zakiya stood in the wings of the stage of the theater that contained the Mother Earth Opera production, listening to the performers sing to the live audience and to billions more by telecast. Aylis used needle and thread to repair some of the damage to the yellow dress.
"Does he know I'm here?" Zakiya asked.
"I didn't tell him!" Aylis replied, sounding excited for some reason.
"Why not?" Zakiya asked. Her own feelings were too mixed to even think about what Aylis was doing to the yellow dress. The ache in her heart for Samson rendered any other feelings as superficial.
"I wanted to surprise him, Zak. Please be still! The only sewing I know is emergency medicine stitching. I last did it about two hundred fifty years ago. Glue would be better."
"You needn't bother," she said, distracted. "The dress is fine the way it is. And I'm not going to any party after Pan is done with the Opera."
"I know. I just like to make things perfect. And I wanted to say something before Pan finishes and comes and monopolizes your time."
"We're friends forever, Aylis, no matter what happens."
"I know that! It's the only thing I'm sure of! You're Zakiya at the root of your being. Always kind and forgiving. I just wanted to say I believe Alex is still alive out there, somewhere."
"Please, don't make me hope!" Zakiya protested. She felt guilty just remembering Alex while Samson remained missing. "I remember other times when we all but pronounced them dead. They've been gone too long."
"Hear me out, Zakiya. I've had a few more explosions from my lost memories. How old were you when you married Alex? Seventy? And because of the medical advances of the time, you were still biologically young enough to give birth a few years later to Jamie. Life extension treatments were already centuries old. All I did was improve the treatments to make continuity of life practical and affordable for everyone. What remained was the problem of implementing it without causing tremendous social upheaval. That was half the reason I went to sleep and let my inexhaustible mechanical double take on the task."
"Are you saying that Alex and the others had the benefit of your research?" Zakiya asked, almost irritated that she was being forced to think about Alex. At this great distance from him in time and space it was too easy to make him into a perfect and absolute love: someone forever beyond having in reality.
"I made sure they had everything I could give them to keep them strong and healthy," Aylis answered. "They wouldn't let me come with them, but these are four of the most brilliant minds God gave to men. They had to be able to figure it out. Patrick promised me he would make it work."
"They never believed they would return soon!" Zakiya declared, letting herself feel an instant of hopeless hope. "They were planning on decades of cautious searching. But it's still been too long, Aylis. They might have had the technology to maintain their youth but there are too many ways to die out there."
"Still, there's a chance, Zakiya. You're data-enhanced by the Navy, but you're also data-enhanced by me. Our poor brains can only hold so much. But we have our auxiliary memories, as problematic as they are. Maybe we're unable to retrieve our old memory with the mere will to remember, but it is all there. Therefore, you'll eventually remember how intelligent and strong and resourceful these men were. They're still out there. I believe it! And they need our help."
"There may be a small chance, but -"
"No buts. They're out there and we will find them!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Now, go on and surprise Pan. I want to see the look on his face!"
This was the Mother Earth Opera. Now Zakiya did begin to feel some little excitement for where she now stood. This was a legendary musical production, mainly featuring singers, and occurring once every ten years. She had never once paid any attention to it and even now she was not really impressed with it. It was not as important as Samson. She would greet Pan, happy to know him now as an important part of her past. It was merely and simply inter
esting to be able to experience the Mother Earth Opera from the wings of its stage.
Zakiya stepped closer to the stage and listened to the last singer. He finished to great applause, showing that his place at the end of the Mother Earth Opera was well-earned. When the singer exited to her side of the stage, she was still applauding as he passed by her. She had heard some of his performance and could now appreciate it through her partly-remembered life as a professional singer.
Pan had accompanied the singer on a traditional piano, where he still sat. He turned to the audience and started to rise, but then turned back toward her. He had seen her! Seeing her, he stopped what he had next intended to do - bring the Mother Earth Opera to a close. Zakiya began to retreat back into the wings, suspecting - and alarmed by - what Pan might do next.
Pan stood up at the piano and gestured for Zakiya to come onto the stage! She pointed to herself as a question and he nodded and waved vigorously for her to join him. Zakiya turned to Aylis who simply shoved her into the stage light. Zakiya frowned at Aylis and saw a pleading look on her friend's pale face. She took a couple of hesitant steps toward Pan and stopped.
No! She was not going out there! She knew he was going to ask her to sing. She knew he had an inflated opinion of her singing ability, based only on Rafael's experience of her singing a lullaby. For Samson, she had sung for Samson, not for this uncaring world of pride and celebrity. She was too sad, too pessimistic about Samson's chances for survival. Yes, she could sing well, or at least the Broken Ones had thought so. But she didn't feel like singing!