‘Good afternoon, Sir Robert,’ said Mr Elphinstone, acting as if he was master of the boat and not one of the more junior officers on board. ‘I’m delighted to see you actually. It gives me an opportunity to thank you for the—’
‘Out of my way, sir,’ said Sir Robert, swatting him aside with the flat of his hand as he marched past while all the time looking back and forth along the deck, his eyes darting like ferrets, until he spied me hovering in the background and, remembering my face from our introduction earlier in the week, stepped towards me at such a pace that I retreated a few steps, thinking he was going to strike me down. My mind raced with the possibilities of what I might have done to offend him but, try as I might, I could think of naught. ‘You,’ he said, pointing his great fat finger at me. ‘I know you, boy, don’t I?’
‘John Jacob Turnstile, sir,’ said I. ‘The captain’s servant-lad.’
‘Your name matters not a jot to me. Where is your master?’
His face was scarlet with barely suppressed rage and for a moment I was wary of telling him, lest their interview should end violently. I had seen him almost every day that we had been in False Bay and had never known him to have the tremors like this.
‘I’ll . . . I’ll inform Captain Bligh that you seek an audience,’ I said, making my way to the stairs. ‘If you’d like to wait on deck and take the air for a moment.’
‘Thank you, I’ll follow if it’s all the same to you,’ he said, stepping into pace so close behind me that, had I stopped short for a moment, the two of us would have collided into each other and I would have come off the worse for it, for he was a large man – a fat one, if I want to be uncharitable. I would have landed on the deck. A mashed Turnip.
‘This here’s the great cabin,’ said I as we trundled along, for even though the man was in a state close to collapse it gave me the giggles to pretend that none of it seemed in any way important to me, since he hadn’t even been interested in having the polite acquaintance of my name. ‘As you see, we have hundreds of pots here for the breadfruit when we reach Otaheite but they just sit here at the moment, getting in my way. Except of course for the plants the captain brought back from his botanizing with you. Now, they’ve been put in the care of Mr Nelson, him as—’
‘Lad, I’ll tell you this once and I’ll not say it again,’ said he then in a dark and troubled voice behind me. ‘Close your mouth and keep it closed. I’ll not hear any more of your garble.’
I did what he said, I closed my mouth, for it occurred to me then that maybe there wasn’t a farce to be had here at all and that Sir Robert was on a more serious mission than I realized; what it could have been, I didn’t dare imagine. I said nothing further for the rest of our short journey, save to tell him that the captain’s cabin was just a little further along.
When we reached the door, it was – most unusually – shut. Captain Bligh almost never closed his cabin door, preferring the men to feel that they could approach him on any matter of import at any hour of the night or day. Even during the dark hours he left it partially open, which was a great grievance to me, as he was a fierce snorer and from my bunk outside his cabin I could hear every ingress and egress of his breathing as I tried to sleep and oftentimes it made me want to take a pillow and suffocate one or the pair of us with it.
‘If you could just wait here a moment, sir,’ I pleaded, turning round. ‘I’ll let him know that you’re outside.’
Sir Robert nodded and I gave a quick two-tap knock on the door. There was no answer for a moment, so I knocked again and this time, the captain barked out an ‘Enter!’ from inside, so I turned the handle and stepped in. The captain was sitting with Mr Fryer and the two men were deep in conversation, but they looked across at me irritably when I entered.
‘Yes, Turnstile, what is it?’ asked the captain with a great deal of impatience in his voice.
I noted that he looked quite red-faced and angry and that Mr Fryer was a little paler and yet had a determined air to him.
‘Very sorry to disturb you, Your Magnificence,’ said I, all politeness now, ‘only, you have a visitor as desires a moment of your time.’
‘Tell the men I can’t spare a moment right now,’ he said quickly, dismissing me. ‘Mr Christian and Mr Elphinstone are on deck. They can take care of whatever nonsense—’
‘It’s not one of the men, sir,’ said I immediately. ‘It’s Sir Robert. From the settlement.’
The captain opened his mouth for a moment and then closed it again, turning to look at Mr Fryer, who raised an eyebrow at him, as if he wasn’t in the least surprised by the identity of our visitor. ‘Sir Robert is here?’ asked the captain in something approaching a whisper.
‘Standing outside your door,’ I replied. ‘Shall I ask him to wait?’
‘Yes,’ he said quickly, stroking his whiskers, before looking at Mr Fryer and changing his mind. ‘No, I can’t do that, can I? I can’t ask a man like that to wait. Height of rudeness and discourtesy! You had better send him in. Mr Fryer, you’ll remain here for this?’
‘I don’t know as I should, Captain,’ came the reply. ‘Wouldn’t you prefer to—’
‘For pity’s sake, sir, you’ll wait and show a little solidarity for once,’ he hissed quietly. ‘Show him in, Turnstile. No, stay that order! Tell me this. What kind of mood is he in?’
I stared at him, surprised by the question. ‘I beg your pardon, sir?’
‘His mood, lad, his mood,’ he repeated irritably. ‘Does he seem cheerful or—’
‘Vexed, sir,’ said I, considering it. ‘All told, I would say he seems a trifle on the vexed side.’
‘Right,’ he said, standing up and sighing heavily. ‘Well, we had better not keep him waiting any longer, then. Show him in.’
I nodded and opened the door and there was Sir Robert, pacing up and down the corridor, his hands clasped together behind his back, his face appearing like a cloud of thunder preparing to break over us all.
‘Sir Robert,’ said I, ‘the captain will see you now.’
He barely acknowledged me then, the rude bollix, just marched right past me and straight into the captain’s cabin. But any adventure is a break from the boredom of the day, and this being too great a lark to pass up I followed him inside too.
‘Sir Robert,’ said the captain, stepping forward with his hand outstretched, acting as if this was a great honour and not seeming as nervous as he had a moment before. ‘How delightful to see you again. I . . .’ He stopped for a moment then, saw me standing in the corner and glared at me. ‘That will be all, Turnstile,’ he said.
‘I thought you might like some tea, sir,’ said I. ‘Or Sir Robert might care for a brandy,’ I added, for the fellow did seem awful contraire.
The captain hesitated and narrowed his eyes at me before looking at his guest. ‘A brandy, Sir Robert?’
‘I know not what sailing men are like, but for my part I care not for brandy when I have yet to have my luncheon, sir,’ he barked angrily. ‘I do, however, require your full attention for what I have to tell you.’
‘Thank you, Turnstile, you may leave us,’ said the captain then and I had no choice but to go, but on this occasion I didn’t pull the door fully behind me, though, and, after checking that no one was about at this end of the boat, I put my ear to it, and it was as good as being inside, especially with the volume Sir Robert was speaking at.
‘I dare say you know why I am here, sir,’ said Sir Robert.
‘I do not,’ replied the captain. ‘Although I am of course delighted to see you. And may I take this opportunity to thank you and your lady wife for the delightful ball last night. I enjoyed it very much, as did my officers, who—’
‘Aye, your officers, sir,’ he snapped then, as aggressively as before. ‘Your officers indeed, sir! It is those same officers whom I come to speak to you about, the same ones as enjoyed the hospitality of my home and ate my food and drank my wine. ‘Tis one officer in particular I wish to discuss with you.’
> ‘Really?’ said the captain, not sounding as confident as he had before. ‘I trust they all comported themselves as gentlemen?’
‘Most of them, aye. But I stand here to tell you that one comported himself in the manner of a rabid dog in heat and I am here to demand satisfaction of you, because I swear to you that if I had a dog like that in my household I’d take out my pistol and shoot him dead and no one would think the worse of me for it.’
There was a long silence then and I could hear some muttering within, words I could not make out, but then the voices were louder again and it was Sir Robert speaking.
‘. . . Into my house and meet my family and all the ladies and gentlemen of a settlement where, I promise you, sir, we have worked long and hard to establish homes and security and a decent, Christian way of life. And this so-called officer dares to insult a lady. Now, I don’t know whether it is the habit of English officers—’
‘I assure you, sir, it is not,’ replied the captain, his voice raised now too, for as unwilling as he was to be abused on his own ship he would never have taken a slight on His Majesty’s naval officers as anything to be endured without reply. ‘It behoves me to declare there’s not a man on board this ship who does not have the greatest respect for you, sir, and for the settlement you have established here in South Africa. They hold you in the highest esteem, sir,’ he added fiercely.
‘Behove me no behoves, sir!’ shouted Sir Robert. ‘Respect, is it? And if they have so much respect, perhaps you will let me know how such a low dog could suggest such a vile proposition to a young lady? It may be that he speaks to his harlots in England like that, his whores and his slatterns, his tarts and his fallen women, but Miss Wilton is a decent and upstanding Christian lady, a fine and respectable girl, and ever since her father died I have taken a particular interest in her well-being, so an insult against her is a glove across the cheek to me and a sting for which I will demand satisfaction. Had I known for one moment that an officer attached to this ship would have behaved in such a base fashion, I would never have invited any of you to take entertainment with us, nor would I have offered such assistance to you this last week as you have required. I would have had you all run off, I tell you!’
‘And for that very hospitality, sir, I am deeply grateful,’ replied Captain Bligh. ‘Deeply grateful.’ He hesitated for a few moments before saying anything else and I just knew that both Sir Robert and Mr Fryer were staring at him, waiting for him to make his judgement. ‘The charge is a serious one,’ he said finally. ‘And as much as I will defend any man of mine to the bitter end until I have reason to do otherwise, I stand before you ashamed that you feel that you had to come on board and lay such a charge against one of my own. I am grateful for all that you have done for us and, if you will accept it, I offer you my word as a gentleman and as an officer of King George that I will take this charge up with the officer in question and deal with him accordingly. There will be no whitewash of this, I assure you. I happen to take courtesy and decent manners very seriously, and I take the proper respect shown to ladies even more seriously. My own dear wife, Betsey, would attest to that. I apologize on his behalf, sir, and promise that justice will be served.’
Another long silence followed as Sir Robert weighed this up. It was a fair response on the captain’s behalf and there was little he could add to it. I stood at the door, desperate to know what the charge was and, even more importantly, against whom it was laid, but the sound of movement in the nearby galley from Mr Hall forced me to step away in case I was caught in the act of eavesdropping and received a box to my ears that would leave me hearing bells for the rest of the day. I hovered around the corridor, however, hoping for the cook to go back to wherever he had been before so I might put my ear to the door again, but a few moments later it opened and Captain Bligh and Sir Robert emerged, the former looking at me for a moment and narrowing his eyes irritably.
‘And you are leaving within the hour?’ asked Sir Robert, who was not as red-faced now as he had been when he stormed on board; he was apparently placated by whatever had been agreed within.
‘Indeed we are, sir,’ said the captain. ‘We have a long voyage ahead of us still. Around Australia and up to Otaheite. Another couple of months, I dare say.’
‘Then, I wish you well with it and Godspeed,’ said Sir Robert, offering his hand. ‘I only regret that our acquaintance had to end in such a disappointing fashion.’
‘As do I, Sir Robert, but please be assured that I will take whatever steps are necessary to redeem our standing in your eyes and I will write to you when I am satisfied with the result of my enquiries.’ Sir Robert nodded his head and the captain turned to look at me. ‘Turnstile,’ said he, with a note of sarcasm in his voice, ‘since you are so fortuitously and unexpectedly close at hand, perhaps you will see our guest back to the deck?’
‘Of course, sir,’ said I, unable to look him in the eye.
‘And Mr Fryer, fetch Mr Heywood and Mr Christian, if you will.’
‘Yes, sir,’ said Mr Fryer.
A few minutes later I was back downstairs, having escorted Sir Robert back to the deck silently, and this time the captain had forgotten to close his cabin door fully, which allowed me to hear better the inquisition taking place inside. Happily for me I had not missed very much, for whatever Mr Christian was saying, the captain was having none of it.
‘That is not what I have asked you here to discuss,’ said the captain in a sharp voice. ‘And I have only asked you to join Mr Heywood since you were present at the ball with him and know his character better than any other on board, perhaps.’
‘Sir,’ said the scut, ‘I don’t know what you’ve been informed, but—’
‘And you, sir,’ roared the captain in such a scream as I’d never heard emerge from him before, not even during one of his arguments with Mr Fryer, nor even in the aftermath of Matthew Quintal’s lashing. ‘You will keep that mouth of yours closed, shut firmly, until such times as I address you and ask you a question and demand of you an answer. You have brought shame on me, sir, and on this ship and on His Majesty’s navy to wit, do you understand that? Are you aware what is being said about all of us back at Sir Robert’s settlement? So keep your mouth closed until I invite you to do otherwise or I swear, by God, I’ll take a lash to you myself, do you understand?’
A silence. And then a ‘yes, sir’ mumbled in a tiny voice that already sounded broken.
No one said anything more for a few moments and I could hear the captain pacing the floor within. ‘Mr Christian,’ he said finally in a calmer voice but one filled with anxiety nonetheless, ‘tell me this. You were in Mr Heywood’s company for much of the evening?’
‘Much of it,’ he replied. ‘But not all of it.’
‘And are you familiar with this Miss Wilton? I confess I can’t recall meeting her myself.’
‘I am, sir,’ said Mr Christian. ‘I made her acquaintance during the evening.’
‘And you, young fellow-my-lad,’ said Mr Bligh. ‘You are aware of the charge?’ No answer. ‘You may speak,’ barked the captain.
‘I’m not, sir, honest I’m not, sir. I was just on deck, minding my business, working with the men, when Mr Fryer comes up and says you required my presence and I don’t know what it is I’m meant to have done, I swears it.’
‘Ha!’ laughed the captain. ‘You mean to tell me that you are completely in ignorance of what Sir Robert has accused you of?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Then, you’re either an innocent and have been badly slandered or are guilty of barefaced lying to your commanding officer in addition to everything else. Which is it to be, sir?’
‘I am innocent, sir.’
‘Innocent of what?’
‘Of whatever it is I am accused of, sir.’
‘Well, there’s a catch-all reply,’ said the captain angrily after a moment. ‘And you, Mr Christian, are you equally ignorant of the charge?’
‘I confess, sir,’ said Mr Christia
n, all quiet and calm, ‘I have no knowledge of what it is that Sir Robert accuses Mr Heywood. I was under the impression that a pleasant evening was had by all.’
‘As was I, sir, as was I!’ snapped the captain. ‘But now I am informed that Mr Heywood here, having been granted the honour of several dances by this Miss Wilton, a ward of Sir Robert’s I might add—’
‘I did dance with her,’ said Mr Heywood quickly. ‘I confess to that. I danced two waltzes and a polka, but I thought it an acceptable thing to do.’
‘Two waltzes and a polka, is it?’ asked the captain. ‘And why, might I add, did you see fit to lavish so much attention on the lass?’
‘Well, sir,’ he replied after a slight hesitation, ‘I can’t pretend other than that she was bonny. And a fair dancer too. I thought she might enjoy the favour of it.’
‘Did you indeed? And when these dances were over, what did you do then?’
‘Sir, I thanked her most humbly for the kindness she had shown me and returned to Mr Christian’s company.’
‘Is that true, Mr Christian?’
‘Sir, the night was a long one,’ said Mr Christian. ‘And we were, all of us, dancing and engaging in conversation with the other guests. I can’t recall the moment precisely – I would have no reason for marking it – but as I spoke with Mr Heywood on many occasions, and as I know him to be a gentleman, I’m sure it must be true.’
‘Well, then, we have a divergence of opinion, sir,’ said the captain angrily. ‘A most serious divergence of opinion. For Ms Wilton claims that you invited her to take a turn in the gardens with you for some refreshment and that while walking you made a most lewd and improper suggestion.’
‘Not in this world, sir!’ shouted Mr Heywood, and I confess that he sounded so wounded by the allegation that I half-believed him myself.