“I get that, but it’s…it’s just not realistic. He can’t do it alone, and I can’t go to him and help him!”
“And that’s the real problem isn’t? You can’t protect him and it’s driving you insane knowing he’s out there alone.”
“Yes!”
“But he isn’t alone. He’s been working with Ryder’s guards by his side, and he has Adrian as well. He’s not out there alone. Not even when he’s inside the Guild; he has your Demon then, and he’s got a connection to the Demon which tells him when he’s in danger.”
I rolled my eyes, because I knew he was trying to stop me from worrying, but I was done losing people I loved. “I—” I paused as I entered the empty throne room. “What the hell?”
I looked around, and it wasn’t until I turned back the way we had come in that I saw what was out of place. “Ryder, I need you.”
I sent out the distress call immediately at the sight of Adam lying in the corridor, bleeding on the floor, with Darynda lying next to him. The entire room had looked normal, right up until I’d stepped through the entryway to the chamber. It was then that I noticed the crystals that formed a ring on the floor around me and locked me into a small area. The crystals that locked me in must have been what knocked Adam and Darynda back. From where I stood, I couldn’t tell if they were badly hurt or just had been rendered unconscious from the power of the crystals and the spell.
“Synthia?”
“Now, Fairy! I’m in the throne room!” I screamed inside my head, knowing Ryder would be here in seconds, but seconds would be too late.
Chapter Four
By the slight rise of his chest, I could see that Adam was still alive, as well as Darynda. They’d been spared, for now, and I could feel the malice and evilness of the Mages that currently surrounded me. I could hear Ryder snarling and shouting inside of my head. He’d be here, but it wouldn’t be in time to save us.
The Mages were cloaked in invisibility, as they had been at the coronation, but someone else within the castle had to have let them in and draw me here. Ristan had told me to come, but deep down I knew he’d do anything to protect my unborn babes. No, this was an inside job. The Demon had to have been misled and this wasn’t something he’d known about.
That meant it had been someone else; someone from our inner circle or close to someone in it, was working against us. Someone we trusted had allowed the Mages to breach our defenses, and welcomed them into our sanctuary. I eyed the floor, seeing the crystals. I knew what crystals could be used for, and I had a feeling these ones were used to keep me in, and the guards out. No one would be able to remove the crystals with the exception of the person who spelled and placed them there, and that was something only a very talented Witch/Warlock/Mage could do. I knew it wasn’t easy to get the crystals to work right because this was something we’d learned to do at the Guild towards the end of our training.
I weighed my options.
They sucked.
Freaking hairy Fairy balls!
It wasn’t ideal to kick ass while pregnant, but it was doable. I’d fight to protect my children from being in the hands of these depraved assholes to my dying breath. I’d fight to keep them alive, that much I knew. I could still hear Ryder as he roared with anger. Zahruk and the rest sifted in close behind Ryder, and I watched as they moved to the motionless bodies of Adam and Darynda. Dristan and Asrian were examining the crystals blocking the entryway and the barrier they created. I could see Dristan touch the barrier and winced as he quickly pulled his fingers back.
“Get out of there, Syn!” Ryder ordered, even though he knew he was asking the impossible.
“You know I can’t, Fairy,” I replied on the mental path. I didn’t want the Mages listening in, or hearing my distress, which would be stark in my voice.
The fact that they’d waited to make a move until they had an audience was telling. It told me they wanted Ryder enraged, and to feel the loss where they could witness it. Idiots.
“Synthia,” Ryder continued as the first Mage took a shot.
It was deafening at this close proximity, but I’d felt the disturbance in the air and had easily dodged the attack even clumsy as I was with this new form. This was real, and I could feel my panic increasing with every passing second. They’d brought guns? Who the hell brings guns to a magic fight? Were they loaded with iron bullets or something? Something that could kill me was my guess.
“Fuck, Synthia, tell me how to get these fucking crystals down!”
“Calm down, I need to concentrate,” I ordered back. “Danu, I need you now,” I prayed, knowing Ryder could hear me. He probably thought I was asking for strength, but nope, I wanted my kick-ass Goddess mother to get her ass in here and now. “Danu!” I continued screaming inside my head. I could hear Ryder as he continued to order me to remove the crystals. Another bullet tore through the room, hitting my shoulder and grazing my flesh. “Mother! Right now, I need you now!”
Silence filled my mind as what I said took root in both mine and Ryder’s minds. I didn’t turn to see the shock on Ryder’s face. I just knew it was there. I hated the idea of knowing it would be seen as a betrayal, which honestly, I deserved. “Mother, if you don’t get your ass in here now, I’ll hunt you down and—”
“Duck,” Danu snapped at me as she shimmered into my view. She had called out in the nick of time, and I ducked, barely missing being hit by the bullet.
I was awkward, but not about to give up. “Swords,” I growled as I stood shoulder to shoulder with the Goddess, aka: my mother. Swords appeared in my hands.
“He knows. I’d have thought you’d of kept us a secret a little longer, daughter,” Danu said softly as she tilted her head to look at me. Her eyes filled with worry as the knowledge of my mistake set it. I only spared a second to hate myself for calling out for her where Ryder could hear it. He was in my head, and I’d even heard the gush of air that filled his lungs and rolled out in a growl of anger.
“I’d do anything to protect my children, even spill my secrets to the world, if it meant they’re safe. Can they see you right now?” I asked barely above a whispered breath.
“No.” She shrugged. “The Fae tend to worship me when they can see me or feel my presence. Now is not the best time for them to do that. I’d rather have them standing erect, ready to fight for you, than on the floor kneeling.”
I knew he could hear us, and it couldn’t be helped.
“Turn off your humanity. It’s time to show your beast just how badass you are,” Danu said and I felt my brands as they appeared on my arms. Thin, colorful lines crawled up and swirled around my forearms, biceps, and then my face. My inner demi-Goddess was now on the outside; my hair was fuller, and my eyes glowed with power from within. With Danu so close beside me, the raw electrical current was massive.
I wouldn’t look Human or Fae in this form. I wanted to see myself through Ryder’s eyes, but didn’t have the luxury of looking as another Mage moved towards us, unaware that I could see them now.
I waited until he was close enough before I brought the sword in my right hand up and spun with enough force to remove his head from his shoulders. The other Mages watched the detached head as it rolled over to where they stood. I knew she wasn’t supposed to interfere, but I was damn glad she was standing beside me, giving me strength and calling out warnings and encouragement as I did the damage. She couldn’t wield the weapons herself, but I could feel her giving me her strength to go on the attack.
“Game on, bitches,” I growled as Danu moved in sync with me step for step, and I made short work of the Mages that were left. Either this was a different group or the Mages didn’t have word back from what had occurred at the coronation. Or maybe their communication skills sucked. You’d have thought they would have put a little more effort into getting me, but they’d sent only a handful of Mages, an
d that came with being cocky. It was a slap to my confidence, but I was glad for it considering I was huge with the babes.
As the last Mage fell, Danu moved several of the crystals and brought down the ward that had kept me contained to the small area. For a moment I felt panic, because I knew I’d have to face the music. The moment I turned to face Ryder, I regretted it.
His eyes spoke volumes, and I could see his anger burning in the endless black pits of them. I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it when Danu sifted out without a single word. I wanted to scream at her to come back, but this was my fight and we both knew it.
I looked for Adam and Darynda; they were up, both staring at me, as were most of the people who stood in the small crowd that Ryder had brought with him. I shed the power like a second skin and turned back to face Ryder.
“Ryder, I can explain,” I whispered.
“Zahruk, take Synthia to my rooms and do not leave her alone,” Ryder growled. “I’ll be there shortly to deal with her.”
I paused as my heart sank to my stomach.
I didn’t wait for Zahruk to lead the way. Instead, I marched out of the room and made my way to Ryder’s chambers. I could explain this to him if he’d give me half a chance. He had to be willing to give me that chance though, and I wasn’t sure my heart could take the waiting.
Zahruk’s silence was deafening as he stood in the doorway of the giant bedroom. He had to have been on the same mental path Ryder and I had been using; his eyes wouldn’t meet mine. I got it. This was a big secret, and yes, I’d have told them eventually, but on my terms. I had barely wrapped my own head around it; how was I supposed to get them to understand it?
The idea of Ryder discarding me because I’d been crafted to be his perfect mate was something I hadn’t been willing to deal with yet. It felt like forever before Ryder finally walked into the room.
He dismissed Z, who glared once before he left, as Ryder walked over to where I’d chosen to stand beside the window. “You lied to me,” he snapped angrily. “You kept this from me and I’d like to know why.”
“I didn’t lie, Ryder, I withheld the truth,” I whispered. “I’m half-Fae, and can’t lie just like you.”
“You knew this, and yet you didn’t tell me. Omission. It’s the same thing as lying, Synthia. How long have you known you were the daughter of a fucking Goddess?”
“I’ve known she was my mother for a little over a month now, so to answer your question, not very long,” I replied, meeting his angry eyes.
“And you just thought you’d keep it from me?” he demanded.
“I didn’t want to, but I’ve learned things that I’m not sure how to talk about with you,” I replied honestly. My heart was beating wildly as my walls came down around me. It felt as if I’d had the carpet pulled from beneath me.
“Like what? What couldn’t you fucking tell me?” He folded his arms across his chest angrily and as I tried to lay my hand on his arm, he jerked away from my touch.
A single tear slid down my cheek. Here it was; it was going to all change, and I’d lose him forever. “Danu replaced one of Madisyn’s eggs with her own. She created me, for you.”
“Impossible,” he whispered. Ryder whispering was deadly.
“It’s not impossible for a Goddess, Ryder,” I said as I turned to look away from him to stare out the window. “She was there with us at your crowning, helping me to fight off the Mages who helped Faolán. She had been after me to accept her, and I hadn’t. I had been holding back from doing it. When Ristan was hurt, and I thought he was dead, I accepted her. She told me things the next day, things that could never be unheard.”
“I’m running out of patience,” he growled hoarsely.
“I was created to be everything you want and need in a mate. I was made for you, Ryder. It’s why we felt a need to be together on a physical and sexual level when we first met. Even when we hated each other, we felt it. It’s why my brain went from hate to lust in zero-point-five seconds. It’s why you’re obsessed with owning me,” I said as tears fell freely with the ugly truth laid bare. “I balance you, and you balance me. It makes us potential heirs of Faery as a whole. Danu was afraid that you’d turn out to be like your father, and in her mind it made sense. She said that Alazander was corrupted by Bilé, her husband. He cursed the Horde King’s beast to be unstable and to become corrupted by power because he knew her favored creature was the Horde King. Neither one is supposed to directly interfere with us, but they can influence us. Her husband cursed the beast of the Horde King because the he was jealous of the Horde, who she favored more than the other races. So she made me, of her own egg, to be the balance for you. It wasn’t fate that brought us together, it was some stupid revenge, and we are nothing more than pawns in their deadly game.”
“And I’m supposed to just accept that?” he asked angrily. “Obviously you can lie, and have been.”
“Why would I lie about that?” I asked with tears blurring my vision.
“Why hide that you’re a demi-Goddess from me?” he countered. “Why keep this to yourself, unless you planned to keep it a secret forever? Or did you plan to leave me and take my children with you?”
“It’s not like that, Ryder. I wanted you to need me and want me for who I really am. Not for the reason that she made me—to be your favorite drug of choice. I hate that we feel this attraction because we’re ‘supposed’ to. They removed your choice, and instead made us feel it without knowing if we even like each other. You’re supposed to be attracted and addicted to me, not because you actually are, but because I was created to draw you in.”
I waited for him to say something, anything. He didn’t for a long while.
“Say something!” I shouted back at him with my hands on my abdomen as a sob threatened to let loose.
“You’re not to leave this room, at all. No one is allowed in to see you until I come back. Do you understand me? Nod, Synthia,” he said when I just stared at him.
“No. Screw you, Fairy! Say something, talk to me, please! Don’t leave it like this.”
“Guards will be posted inside the room until I can figure out where to go from here,” he said as he started to sift out, but I grabbed his arm and held him in the room.
“Don’t do this—don’t just leave me without talking to me. Tell me what you’re thinking, at least!” I pleaded to him, but his eyes said he was pissed, and unwilling to even touch me. “I won’t stay in a room where I’m guarded and controlled. I won’t be a prisoner here. I’ll leave before I allow you to do that to me or my children.”
“Your children?” he sneered. “Are they even mine, Synthia? You lied about what you are, so if you have anything else you want to disclose, now would be the time to lay it all out.”
I gasped as pain shot through my heart as it was crushed at his angry words. My hand dropped as if his flesh burnt me. “Fuck you, Fairy,” I said dejectedly. “I know you know they’re yours, and I know they can feel you. Why would you even ask that?” Tears choked my words.
He looked down at the floor, as if he was deciding what to say, but before he could, an alarm sounded. “Stay here, Synthia. If you leave me, I’ll hunt you down.”
I remained silent as I closed my mind off to him. My heart broke into a million pieces, useless pieces. “I’m so sorry, Ryder,” I whispered brokenly. “I didn’t mean to keep it a secret this long for the reasons you might think I did, but I won’t become something you keep locked away. Goodbye, Fairy.” I choked back tears as I sifted out of the room.
Chapter Five
I sat beside the huge rowan Tree that fed Faery with its magical powers. It was their version of the Tree of Life, and was a thing of breathless beauty. The small fairies flew around me but none of them tried to land on me this time around, unlike the time Ristan had brought me here in his vision.
I let my legs rest on the ground as the cooling moss soothed my aching feet and swollen ankles. I watched the fairies as they worked to undo the damage that the Mages had wrought to the Tree. The sky was cloudless, but the hues of the rainbow filled it in a beautiful war of colors. The air around me was filled with beauty. I inhaled the seductive fragrance of sandalwood, knowing this was why Ryder smelled of its intoxicating beauty.
I talked to the babies and let the tears flow freely until I couldn’t cry anymore. When I was done, I wiped my eyes and promised myself that I’d cry no more over what had happened between me and Ryder. It was only a matter of time before Ryder came for me. I could feel the bond we shared as he pulled on it and searched through the world to figure out where I had gone to.
He would never stop looking for us, and while I could shut down the bond for small amounts of time, I’d need to sleep sooner or later and he’d find us then. Besides, he’d marked my ass, and would find me soon enough with or without the shield I had in place.
I was safe here, for now at least. He wouldn’t hurt me, of that I was sure. He wasn’t cruel, and I could understand his reasons for being pissed. I had more than a month to wonder at our connection and the knowledge that we’d been unable to fight the desire because we’d been made to feel it. He’d only had a few minutes to digest the information.
I even understood his hesitancy and why he probably said what he did about our children being his, considering I’d just told him how I’d been conceived. It was unheard of, and it had left me confused until Danu had explained it in detail. I felt him growing closer and shook my head. I wasn’t ready to talk. I may have understood his reasons but it did little to sooth the pain that his words had caused. I hadn’t deserved his heated words about the parentage of our children. He knew they were his. It had been a low blow meant to hurt me, and he’d succeeded.
I stood up and dusted off the dress before I sifted to the Fairy Pools, soaking my feet in the cool water. The alga was glowing brightly tonight as it illuminated the springs. I made sure to step around it so as not to disturb it. My exposed skin glowed with the light illuminated from the water, which created a greenish-blue tinge to my pale pallor.