Chapter Eleven
Early the next week, I was sitting at the side of the box office eating a packed lunch when Tyrone came to Suki’s window.
“Hiya!” Ty said. “Quick question - do you have any tickets for A Christmas Carol on December the third?”
“Yes – lots,” Suki replied. “How are you?”
“Very well thanks. And you?”
“I’m fine. Did you hear Rose is off sick?”
“Who’s Rose?” he asked.
As I heard those words, my heart leapt for joy. He didn’t even know her name!
“The older lady who works here,” Suki said. “The one you were dancing with at the party.”
“Oh yes! I thought her name was Roz – I suppose it’s the way she pronounced it – she was pretty drunk. She didn’t seem too well - that’s why I tried to call a taxi for her, but we couldn’t get one. Then Dudley appeared when he’d finished his music set and kindly offered to walk her home.”
“That was nice of him – what a kind man.” Suki said in a cheeky voice, as I held a magazine up to my face and grinned behind it.
“Yes, he seems OK,” Ty replied, sounding a bit unsure.
“I hear you and Tracy are an item. How is she?” Suki asked.
My smile faded and I began to tremble a little, still hiding behind the mag.
“She’s great!” he replied, sounding all love struck.
I felt like a brick had been dropped on my chest.
“And how’s her baby?” Suki continued.
“Baby?” came his shocked reply.
“Yes – her little girl.”
“You must be mistaken. She has no kids.”
“Strange,” Suki replied. “I could have sworn she did. Perhaps she just looks after the kid most days, or something.”
“I’ll get back to you about the tickets!” Ty exclaimed, rushing away urgently.
I felt like five years of birthdays, Christmases, Easters and Halloweens had just come all at once.
Suki looked at me, her face twisted with nerves. “I can’t believe I just said all that!”
“I’m glad you did!” I beamed. “OMG – what sort of woman lies about having kids?”
Suki bit her lip. “I hope it’s true – I hope I haven’t got it wrong. I have seen her with the kid in a pushchair, perhaps she was looking after it for someone.”
“Nah!” I replied brightly. “Jeff said she had a baby girl too. He’s a real gossip – he knows everything.”
“Oh God! I’m nervous now.”
“Don’t be. Jeff seemed confident it was her kid. She’s probably a compulsive liar. It’s a good job Ty found out.”
I finished off my sandwich slowly, relishing every bite, smiling as I chewed, while Suki dealt with another customer.
Soon after lunch, Kalisha came into the office laughing. “Dudley’s been in trouble with the cops!”
“OMG!” I said. “Drugs?”
“No – riding his bicycle the wrong way around a roundabout.”
“Bicycle?” Suki laughed. “Are you sure he wasn’t driving his Ferrari the wrong way around a roundabout? He claims to own one.”
“No – definitely a bike,” Kalisha said. “Could be a Ferrari bicycle, I suppose – they make bikes too.”
“Really?” I asked, believing she was joking.
“Google it!” Kalisha said.
I checked my mobile internet and, sure enough, it was true – Ferrari make very posh bikes!
“I wonder if he was drunk and wearing a wizard’s costume at the time,” Suki laughed. “Can you get banned from cycling?”
“I think he just got a warning,” Kalisha replied, taking a seat at her desk. “Silly man! Apparently, he’s boasting about it –he thinks it makes him a real badman.”
“What an idiot!” I said, screwing my face up in disgust.
“Badman?” Suki laughed. “My gran’s dog Max is more of a badman than Dudley – he got us thrown out of a pub for barking!”
“Now that’s a real badman,” laughed Kalisha.
Early the same evening, we saw Dave – the head barman – arrive for his shift.
“Dave!” Suki exclaimed. “Does Tracy have a baby?”
“No,” Dave answered. “Why?”
Suki gasped in horror. “I think I’ve just put my foot in it.”
“Eh?” Dave asked.
“I asked Tyrone how Tracy and her baby were and he was shocked because he didn’t think she had a kid. I told him she did.”
Dave laughed. “Misunderstandings happen. Don’t worry about it.”
My heart sank, going down like a bloody great ship with half a million passengers on board.
At six o’clock, Suki and I finished work and went backstage looking for Ty, so Suki could apologise for her error. He was nowhere to be seen. We did, however, see Jamal. As usual, my heart beat like a drum and my legs felt like jelly, but Suki was cool as a cucumber.
“Hi Jamal!” she said, batting her eyelids. “You haven’t seen Ty Small, have you?”
“No sweetie!” Jamal replied, sounding seriously gay. “I’ll tell him you ladies were looking for him. Introduce yourselves!”
“I’m Suki and this is Yazmin,” Suki said, pushing me forwards.
I wanted to smile, but my face had frozen – partly because I fancied him and part in shock. He didn’t sound gay when he was onstage last night.
“Pleased to meet you both,” Jamal said. He smiled at us brightly before mincing into the greenroom.
Suki turned to me, eyes wide as saucers.
“Just our damn luck!” I snapped, rolling my eyes.
In just a couple of weeks, one bloke I seriously fancied had got together with the ugliest woman in town and the next turned out to be gay. Was I destined to be alone in life, or would it be third time lucky? Probably not – the next bloke would probably turn out to be a serial killer or something. I couldn’t believe my life!
A couple of days later, I arrived at work with a headache, most likely caused by the stress these men were giving me. Fortunately, it quickly vanished after a paracetamol.
As I slammed my fists on the desk, following a telephone conversation with a crabby old customer, Suki whispered, “Jamal isn’t gay.”
“Really?” I answered. “Some good news for a change.”
“No,” Suki said. “It’s not good news - he’s married with a baby. I heard him telling one of the stage crew. The relationship sounds a bit rocky though.”
“Oh dear!” I said. “Perhaps he saw us ogling him from the stage side seats and put on the gay act to keep us away.”
“Seems a bit extreme,” Suki replied.
“This stupid competition is causing me grief,” I moaned. “I really don’t want to be in it anymore.”
“No!” Suki said. She stuck out her bottom lip, like a sad baby. “It’s too much fun – don’t spoil it!”
“I’ve really gone off the idea.”
“Relax and enjoy!” Suki said, touching my shoulder reassuringly.
“But everyone I fancied has been eliminated already and the company have only been here a couple of weeks. It’s making me miserable.”
“Let’s give it a little longer – please!” Now she was making puppy eyes. “Keep your options more open – you might just have overlooked that special someone.”
“I’ll think about it,” I replied, knowing full well I didn’t want to continue to be part of this stupid contest.
As I left work that evening, I got a text from Mum saying we needed a loaf of bread, so I nipped into Skippy’s newsagents on my way home. As I entered the shop, my eye was immediately drawn to a magazine half way up the shelves. On the cover was a sultry black woman whose dark, mysterious eyes seemed to follow me around. I crept over to take a closer look – the mag was called Mystic Beauty. I took a quick flick through. It looked awesome – jam packed with articles on beauty, astrology, psychic art, crystals and all sorts of exciting stuff. At the back of the mag were lots of adv
erts for psychic readings, amulets, horoscopes and love spells! The thought of this actor boyfriend challenge thing suddenly became exciting again – I could use a love spell to win it! I shoved the mag under my arm, grabbed a sliced loaf and threw them both onto the counter, grinning from ear to ear. I quickly handed over the exact cash, then rushed home through the lamplit streets, the grin still emblazoned across my face.
When I reached home, my meal was already being dished out – jacket wedges with chilli beans. I bolted the food down at record speed before rushing to my room with the mag and turning straight to the ads. Several witches were advertising magic services. I quickly settled on someone called Maisie. Admittedly, it was a bit of an odd name for a witch, but I had a good feeling about her. The fact she was running a buy one get one free offer helped, and - best of all – she specialised in love spells and guaranteed quick results! I immediately knew which spells to choose - Break up a couple and attract your lover so I could have Ty, and Get rid of unwanted attention to keep Dirty Dudley away.
I eagerly tapped my details into the online form, silently cheering to myself and jiggling my fists around in excitement as I sent the order. I had to allow up to five working days for a reply and I couldn’t wait! There was no way I was going to tell Suki or anyone else about this. When Ty and Tracy split up and Dudley mysteriously couldn’t see me anymore, no one in the world would know why – apart from myself and Maisie the witch!
It took ages to get to sleep that night as I tossed and turned and grinned and laughed silently to myself, imagining the scenarios of Dudley leaving me alone, Ty and Tracy splitting up, and Ty telling me he must have been mad to fancy Tracy, as she was so ugly and boring; as well as Suki admitting defeat when Ty became mine and I won the challenge. When I finally got to sleep, I had the most wonderful dream in which Ty and I were snuggling in a field of white flowers. It felt so real and spiritual that I was sure it must be a premonition.
I woke the next morning feeling on top of the world. Life felt fab. Even though it was November, it felt like Spring. I was going to win this thing with magic! Work was unusually quiet. This was great because Kalisha announced Rose would be returning to work the following day, so it gave Suki and I a chance to talk about what we were going to say to Rose to find out whether or not it was her we saw with Dudley that frightful evening.
“How about asking her if she’s seen much of Dudley recently?” Suki suggested.
“Go on then!” I said. “If you have the courage to say it to her.”
“I’ll do it!” Suki said, without hesitation. “If that doesn’t get much of a reaction from her, I could pretend we’ve heard he has AIDS.”
“Goodness gracious me!” I gasped. “I don’t think so – that could get you into a lot of trouble.”
“True! I’ll just talk about him lots – like him being a bad actor and a creep and stuff - as we watch her reaction.”
“Can’t wait!” I said joyously. “Poor woman!”
“We’ve also got to get to the bottom of her conversation with Kalisha when she said Ty was seeing someone else.”
“We’ll mention Ty and Tracy then, and see how she reacts when we tell her about Dudley and that tarty woman in the pub,” I managed to say before we noticed several calls were waiting to be answered.
I checked my emails on and off all day, but received nothing from Maisie the witch. I knew it had only been a few hours so it was a bit early for her to reply, but I was so excited! I just couldn’t wait for the spells to work. Maisie had guaranteed quick results, so I was guessing Ty would be mine before the year was through, and it was already November!
Towards the end of the day, an old balding man who worked in the general office came to one of the box office windows and handed two envelopes to Suki. The top one was addressed to Kalisha and the other one unsealed and blank. Suki popped Kalisha’s letter on her desk, then opened the blank one and looked up at me, grinning cheekily.
“What is it?” I asked, leaning forward to take a look.
“It’s a list of the properties each actor is renting!” she whispered, quickly folding it and slipping it into her two-tone pink handbag. It wasn’t addressed to anyone, so I guess it was a gift from the angels.”
“We can go on a little tour!” I said.
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Suki grinned. “We can pick a few interesting ones and find out where they live. Do you think your Mum would drive us?”
“She might, if we offer to take her for a meal afterwards, or something.”
“Sounds great!” Suki said. “Ask her tonight!”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll text you later.”
“Awesome! As soon as I get home, I’ll email you a copy of the address list.”
“Can’t wait!”
At twenty-past six, I arrived back at the flat and was met by a strong, spicy aroma wafting from the kitchen where Mum was stirring away at a pot.
“Almost ready!” she said. “Cashew and cauliflower curry.”
“Nice!” I replied, taking off my coat and hanging it up in the hall.
I was just relishing my last spoonful of the delicious dish when an email arrived on my phone. It was from Suki, and it contained the company address list. I waited until Mum had finished and then said, “Do you fancy taking Suki and I on a tour this week?”
“I’m busy with work and stuff,” Mum replied.
“Just a short tour round town,” I said, handing my phone to her. “Look – Suki and I have a list of the actors’ addresses and we just thought it would be fun to see where a few of them live.”
Mum’s eyes widened as she scrolled down the list. “Naughty girls! Where did you get hold of this? I hope you didn’t steal it.”
“It was a gift from the angels,” I replied. “A bloke from the office handed it to Suki by accident when he was delivering another letter. We thought it would be fun. We just want to pick out maybe six or seven of them and have a peek at their accommodation.”
“But it’s dark in the evenings.”
“Are you working Sunday?”
“Only until noon.”
“How about we take you for Sunday lunch - I’ll pay - and then take the tour afterwards?”
“Ok,” Mum agreed, her face brightening. “Why not? It’s something a bit different to do. But I hope we don’t see any more nastiness from Dudley.”
“Can’t guarantee it!” I laughed, hurrying to my room to text Suki.
Excitedly, I typed out the message: Hi. Thanks for list. Could u make Sun lunchtime? Mum’s working till 12.
Unsure. Came her reply. We’re having a little party for Max - five years since Gran adopted him from dog shelter.
OK, I texted back, pretending not to be disappointed. That’s very sweet. Will arrange another day then.
Sorry.
No worries.
I sank down on my bed, feeling deflated, then checked my junk folder in case Maisie’s email had landed there. No luck.
Then another text came through from Suki: Mum says we’re having Max’s party at five o’clock now - the tour is on!
Cool!
Let’s study our company lists and see whose places we want to see. Will get back in about fifteen minutes, if OK.
Fab!
I looked down the list and picked out Dudley, Tyrone and Jamal. Obviously, I didn’t fancy Dudley, but was very curious about what sort of a place he lived in and whether or not there was a Ferrari up the drive. I couldn’t resist seeing where Jamal lived, even if he did have a wife and kid, especially as Suki said his relationship sounded rocky.
Then Suki phoned. She’d picked five altogether – the same three as me, plus a couple of young actors she fancied – Colin Leverne and Mick Sterry. They all lived in town, so it looked like it was going to be an easy job for Mum and I couldn’t wait!
Sunday finally arrived after what felt like a century. I woke up late, took a quick shower and just about managed to get myself ready before Mum
arrived to pick me up. It was a horrid, grey, rainy day – not quite the day I’d been picturing. We drove straight to Suki’s house. She promptly appeared, wearing a lilac rain mac. She jumped into the back seat of the car and we headed for The Coach and Horses – a pub on the outskirts of town.
We smiled in delight as we entered the warm, welcoming pub. The interior had brown wooden beams and white walls decorated with horse brasses. The velvety red carpet made the place feel even warmer.
We chose a table in a quiet corner, ordering a delicious main course and a coffee each before heading back out into the rain and jumping into the car.
Suki pulled the list from her handbag. “I’ve put the places in order to make it easier,” she said excitedly.
“Great!” said Mum. “You’ll have to guide me – I’m not too familiar with the town yet.”
“I know,” Suki replied. “We’ll go to Mick Sterry’s first – he lives around the corner from Skippy’s Newsagents.”
“That’s cool,” answered Mum. “Which road?”
“Bluebell Road – the one with the big yellow house on the corner.”
“Oh yeah,” said Mum. “I know it.”
We drove to Bluebell Road and parked outside the rather scruffy looking old block of flats where Mick lived. This was not the day I’d pictured at all – looking at a dark, depressing building through furiously moving windscreen wipers.
“Ok,” I said to Suki. “Where next?”
“Ty!” she replied. “Head towards the theatre first.”
Mum followed her instructions. As we drove along, I was a stiff mass of nerves. I was worried about what I might see. Would he be walking along hand in hand with Tracy or kissing her goodbye on the doorstep? I felt like a million tiny moths were fluttering in my poor tight stomach.
The drive took about five minutes. Ty’s accommodation was a little red brick terraced cottage in a narrow street. All the curtains were closed and it now felt as though there was a gymnast in my stomach doing backflips, as I wondered if Tracy was in there with him. Then a red car drove up behind us and sounded its horn. We were blocking its path. We had to move on, which I had mixed feelings about. While part of me was worried I might see him with Tracy, another part had been hoping to see him anyway – preferably with his Mum, or talking to the local vicar, or anything, as long as he wasn’t with that bitch.
“Huh! That was boring,” I said shakily, in an attempt to mask my feelings. “Where to now?”
“Dudley’s place,” Suki declared.
“This should be interesting!” I said. “Let’s see if this Ferrari he claims to own is parked in the drive!”
We drove through a maze of winding roads and then out onto a rather grand road of big, smart, detached houses. We found Dudley’s house at the very end, opposite a field. His house wasn’t as grand as the other houses in the road, but it was well kept, with a concrete drive behind a tallish hedge. No sign of any Ferrari and no garage. It looked like the garage had been converted into a room. We parked by the field and watched the house through the rain.
“He always wears the same clothes,” Suki said. “They must be the only clothes he owns.”
“It must take a hell of a lot of money to support all those kids he has,” I reminded her.
“All what kids?” said Mum, looking dumbfounded. “I was reading about him the other day. The article said he had one son and one daughter.”
“Secret kids!” Suki said. “About a thousand of them.”
Mum threw her head back in laughter. “Whoever told you that must have been exaggerating wildly.”
“It’s my own theory,” I told her. “He had that big pop career and now he’s somehow getting away with an acting career, but he wears the same stuff all the time. He shags so many women, I reckon he probably has kids to support all over the world.”
“A thousand young Dudleys?” Mum laughed. “I hope not!”
The thought made me feel sick.
“You’d have thought he’d have got his awful teeth fixed, if he was minted,” I pointed out.
“True,” Mum said. “Perhaps he thinks the teeth give him character, or he might be worried a new set of gnashers might ruin his voice.”
“Might improve it,” I hissed.
“Look!” squealed Suki suddenly.
Mum and I turned our attention to the house again. The front door had opened. Dudley crept out onto the driveway, acting pretty suspiciously, looking around slyly to see if anyone was watching him. Strangely, he didn’t appear to spot us, even though the windscreen wipers were moving. Perhaps our green car was camouflaged against the trees and fields and he’d forgotten to put his contact lenses in.
“Do you think he’s selling drugs or something?” Mum asked, looking pretty shocked as she watched the blubbery bastard dodge down an alleyway, a large rucksack strapped to his back.
“Possible,” I said, my lip curling in disgust.
“Extra money to support the thousand kids!” Suki joked.
Mum started the engine and drove to Cauldicott Road. According to the map on Suki’s phone, that’s where the alleyway led to. We drove around a bit, but there was no sign of him. I smiled to myself, hoping he might have fallen down a disused mine shaft or something similar.
“Damn!” snapped Mum, slapping the steering wheel in frustration. That looked interesting. I wonder what he’s up to.”
We then took a quick look at Jamal’s place – a terraced cottage a bit like the one Ty lived in. The kitchen window was at the front and we could see him washing up. We sped off, hoping he hadn’t spotted us.
Our last stop was Colin Leverne’s place. This looked like a family home and we noticed a pushchair parked in the porch.
“Oh,” Suki said miserably. “He’s got kids. Shame – he’s a bit tall for me, but rather dishy.”
“He might just rent a room in a family home,” Mum pointed out, which cheered Suki up a little.
As we returned to Suki’s house, the rain stopped and the sun came out. Typical! Almost immediately, the front door opened and her mum stepped out, followed by an old Japanese lady and a cute little brown dog – obviously Suki’s gran and Max. Her gran smiled and waved enthusiastically.
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “Your gran doesn’t look like I imagined her to look with dementia. I thought she’d look all blank and confused all the time. She looks normal.”
“She has good days and bad days,” Suki replied. “She’s in the mid stages of the illness at the moment – it will get worse, if she lives long enough.”
“Oh,” I replied, not knowing what to say.
“They’ve got a lovely home with you,” Mum smiled. “It looks like a lovely area for the doggy with all the hills and fields close by.”
“It is!” Suki said. “Max and Gran love it here!”
The trio proceeded up a path by the side of Suki’s home, Max sniffing the ground and wagging his tail excitedly. We all remained in the car, googling Dudley’s name to find out whether or not he had any drug convictions. There was nothing at all to link his name with drugs, other than him being quoted as saying he was dead against them. There was an interesting article about his disputes with band members though. Apparently, no band member ever lasted more than a few months because he drove them up the wall. It sounded like they all ended up hating his guts as much as I did. One musician - Johnny Whistler – lost his rag and chased Dudley offstage at a big rock festival, wielding a guitar – we even watched the footage. Best thing I’d seen in years! Another time, during a studio rehearsal, a percussionist - Ivor Tambourine - had an argument with Dudley over a woman. Ivor went completely berserk, clashed Dudley’s head between two cymbals, then smashed his maracas and stormed out, never to return. I’d have loved to have seen footage of that one but, sadly, it didn’t appear to exist.
Another day passed and an exciting email appeared in my inbox early morning. Maisie the witch had replied!
Dear Yazmin,
Thank you for
your request and secure payment.
I’m very pleased to inform you the magic is already beginning to work for you, though you may not realise it yet!
For the next fortnight, I will be carrying out a special ritual for you each night at 10pm, using herbs and candles. At this time, you should light a candle, or gaze at a crystal, concentrating particularly strongly on the things you wish for. You should do this for two minutes every night at the above time.
Good Luck.
Your friend,
Maisie.
At half past eight the same morning, I whizzed out of the flat and down the stairs so fast that I couldn’t remember doing it. Then I walked to work like I was dancing on air. I was surprised to see Rose when I entered the box office - I’d been so excited about Maisie’s email that I’d forgotten she was coming back to work that day! Suki was just sitting herself down right next to Rose and slinging her bag on the next chair to save it for me. She gave me a big wink.
I fetched my headset and sat down next to Suki, feeling pretty nervous. Rose had just come back after being signed off with depression, and it was possible Suki was about to depress her even more.