Chapter Fourteen
The picture was the first thing I saw, and then my eyes darted up a level to the headline Dudley’s Mystery Lover. Dudley’s ‘mystery lover’ was me! Somewhere in the middle of a famous newspaper my mum nicknames The Daily Crap, because of its complete bullshit stories, was a picture of Dudley and me apparently strolling arm in arm looking blissfully happy. It had been taken the day before, when he’d hurt his ankle and I’d helped him along the road. No wonder Ty and the other hot guys had been staring at me today, and no wonder Dudley had avoided looking in my direction. It was nothing to do with Maisie’s spells. Some low life photographer had obviously been lurking the moment I picked the drunken bastard up off the floor. Why me of all people? I hated the dirty man with a passion. How was I ever going to get over this nightmare? Oh how I wished I’d left the sod lying there and casually stepped over him, or dropped something heavy on his head!
Slowly, I looked up at my colleagues who were still staring at me, frozen like statues.
“I’m not with that twat!” I said shakily.
“It’s there in the paper in frigging technicolour!” screamed Rose, holding back tears.
“I told you yesterday!” I yelled. “I picked him up off the floor. He fell.”
“Yeah, sure!” Rose yelled back, going purple in the face.
“It’s true,” Suki said. “You can tell Dudley’s limping in the photo.”
Rose studied the image. “I suppose his legs do look a bit funny.”
“Dudley and I both started laughing for some reason – that’s why we look so happy on the photo. I wish I’d just left him on the ground.”
“His ankle recovered remarkably quickly if he managed to do all that cycling today,” Kalisha remarked. “How did you manage to lift a man that size off the ground? I bet he partly helped himself up. Probably nothing wrong with his ankle.”
“True,” I answered, feeling embarrassed about being conned by the creep. “It all happened in a bit of a blur.”
“He saw a paparazzi bloke near his home a few days ago,” Rose said.
“How do you know?” Suki asked, putting on that cheeky musical voice again. “You seem to have done an awful lot of talking to Dudley.”
“I see him in the greenroom and stuff,” Rose said, blushing a little.
I thought about the time we’d spied on his house a few days beforehand. So that’s why we’d seen him dodging around and acting suspiciously. Perhaps drugs had nothing to do with it – he was probably trying to avoid the paparazzi.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a day like this before!” Kalisha said. “I guess we’ll have to leave all the ringing phones to the staff upstairs – there are plenty of them. I’ll get Mike and Dana to come down and cover the windows. I think we all need to take a break.”
I kept my head low as we followed her to the greenroom. There were only two actors in there – a scruffy middle aged bloke, whose name I didn’t know, and Carl Zimmerman – the actor who reminded us of an evil Santa Claus. It was the first time I’d seen Carl in real life. Both actors looked up and stared – not at my colleagues – just at me. Either I was the most stunning of the group or they’d seen the paper. Kalisha ordered four black coffees with a jug of water to cool them to a drinkable temperature. We sat there in silence as we sipped our drinks, not knowing what to say.
I gritted my teeth in anger as I remembered the clairvoyant at the fair. Had she been genuine, she’d have surely told me not to leave the house unless I was wearing a Spider Man mask yesterday, so millions of people wouldn’t now be believing I was Dudley’s girlfriend! Why him of all the people in the world? In all my life, I don’t think I’d ever felt so bad. Half the population now saw me as a cheap little bimbo after the bloated buffoon for his money and fame. I shuddered as I thought of Mum. She was at work and her shop sold newspapers! Had she seen the picture? I wished I’d never picked up that evil witch magazine. It was now looking like the spells may have cursed me.
We finished our drinks and returned to the box office, where Mike and Dana were sat sniggering at the paper.
Kalisha took me over to her desk and said sympathetically, “Are you alright Yazmin?”
“Not really!” I replied, trying not to cry.
“You’ve had a nasty shock. Do you think you’re up to working the rest of the day?”
“I don’t know!” I said, bursting into tears. “This is the worst day of my life. What am I going to do?”
“Just tell the truth,” Kalisha said firmly, handing me a tissue. “Presumably no one has seen you with Dudley before, and anyone with any sense knows what newspapers are like.”
“Ok,” I said between sobs. “Can I take some time out? I’d like to go to the chemist to buy some herbal tranquilisers to help get me through this.”
“Good idea!” Kalisha said, handing me another tissue. “Take as much time as you like.”
“That’s kind,” I said, giving her a weak smile. “Thank you.”
I put on my coat, grabbed my bag, and dashed into the ladies’ toilet where I cleaned my mascara stained face and applied a bit of fresh make-up. Then I pulled up my coat hood and took some deep breaths before walking in to town, feeling as though everyone was watching me. Coat hood practically over my face, I moved nervously around the pharmacy, until I came to the herbal section and picked out some pills which contained valerian and hops and other botanical ingredients. I was hoping they’d calm me down just enough to enable me to continue working for the rest of the day. A security guard watched me suspiciously as I headed toward the counter. I guess it was because I was acting a little strange, but I couldn’t help wondering if he’d seen me in the paper.
I crossed the road to Monks department store, rode the escalator to the first floor café, and waited in a short queue before buying an apple juice to take the pills with. I couldn’t have eaten anything, but hoped the sugar in the apple juice might work a miracle and elevate my mood just a little. I opened the bottle of pills. They didn’t half stink! My head jerked backwards as the smell assaulted my nostrils. Desperate to feel better, I managed to swallow a couple. As I sat there sipping the juice, I couldn’t help wondering what the staff and customers in the café were all thinking: Dirty little bimbo! Cheap little whore! Gold digger! Fame-seeker! Slag! Slut! Strumpet! Lowlife! Old man shagger! I couldn’t stop the paranoia – hurtful words kept attacking my brain like missiles.
I’d only just moved to this town, and now it looked as though I may have to move somewhere else, dye my hair green, put on loads of weight and start wearing spectacles so no one would recognize me. I held back tears as I thought how happy I’d felt just a couple of weeks ago. Now the man I liked was seeing one of the ugliest girls I’d ever laid eyes on and everyone thought I was seeing Dirty Dudley. My whole world had collapsed around me. I felt so humiliated. How was I ever going to live this down?
I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. No texts from Mum – perhaps she hadn’t seen the picture yet – or perhaps she was sat there at work in shock, frozen like a statue, staring into space. I decided to phone Kalisha.
“Hi,” I said, my voice trembling as I continued to hold back tears. “I don’t think I can come back to work. I’m really sorry but I’m handing in my notice.”
“Please don’t,” she said, “The theatre manager and I are setting everyone straight.”
“Really?”
“Of course we are.”
“Do they believe you though?”
“I’m sure they do. It’s going to be fine – I promise you. Besides, it’s not every day a girl gets to appear in a national newspaper looking so glam. I’m a bit jealous.”
“Thanks,” I said before hanging up.
Jealous? It was very sweet of Kalisha to say that, but she was obviously just trying to make me feel better. She’d have been just as mortified as me if a national newspaper had said she was doing it with Dudley, although at least she was in his age bracket. Her husband wouldn’t have been too
happy though!
So they were managing to convince the theatre staff, but what about the rest of the town, the rest of the country, the rest of the world? The photo was undoubtedly online being viewed by disgusted people all over the globe. Ugh! The very thought of an affair with that dirty ogre made me want to jump in a bath of pure disinfectant and scrub my skin raw, and now millions of people must be believing it was true and calling me all sorts of filthy names.
I bravely strolled back to work, butterflies in my stomach, still hoping it was all just a very bad nightmare.
I answered one call, convinced the young woman on the other end knew it was me – Dudley’s gold digging bimbo. My stomach felt so tight, I couldn’t speak properly. I really wasn’t up to the job after having the worst shock of my life ever. I burst into tears and Kalisha gave me the rest of the day off. There were less than two hours of the working day left anyway. I took myself off to the recreation ground, not far from the theatre, and strolled around in shock wondering what on earth was going to happen to me now.
After about an hour of pacing the paths, I calmed down enough to think a bit more clearly and decided to text Suki. I sat on a bench, took out my phone and typed: Help! I don’t know what to do. Can we walk to mine after work so you can explain the Dudley photo to Mum? I can’t face her ☹
I sat there for goodness knows how long staring at my phone, tears prickling my eyes. The fierce autumn wind stung my ears and cheeks. I became so cold that I had to stand up and walk around again, feeling exceedingly sorry for myself. The box office was obviously very busy, because Suki didn’t reply until quarter to six.
Of course! came her text. That’s what friends are for.
Thank you so much! I replied, sighing with relief then bursting into floods of yet more salty tears. I’ll meet you by the entrance to the recreation ground, if that’s OK. I don’t’ want anyone to see me.
No problem! See you just after 6.
Suki appeared at the promised time, giving me a sympathetic hug and reassuring me everything would be ok. We hurried through the dark streets in the biting November air, my whole body buzzing with nerves.
When we reached the flat, Mum was sat with her feet up, watching an evening chat show. She turned around, looking delighted to see us.
“Hi girls!” she said. “How’s Suki then?”
“Ok,” Suki said apprehensively. “Have you read any papers today?”
“Haven’t had time,” Mum replied. “Been too busy selling the damn things. Why?”
I handed the paper to Suki and we slowly sat down either side of Mum.
Mum looked from Suki to me and from me to Suki. “What’s happened? You’re making me nervous.”
“Well,” Suki began. “Do you know Dudley Mountain?”
“You know very well I know him,” Mum replied. “Has he been arrested for drugs?”
“No. He was taken to hospital today,” Suki said nervously.
“Has he died?” Mum asked, sounding shocked, but looking amused.
“Not as far as I’m aware,” Suki said.
“What then?” asked Mum.
“There’s a picture of him in the paper.”
“OMG! Not naked, I hope!”
“No. You know how newspapers don’t always tell the truth?”
“Yes, I’m well aware of that,” Mum said apprehensively. “What are you trying to tell me?”
“What I’m about to show you is one of those lies,” Suki said, opening up the paper.
Mum’s eyes widened in shock as Suki turned to page seven and showed her the photo. Then she burst into fits of giggles. “You little minx you. I sold loads of copies of that paper today. Oh my stars, I can’t believe this!”
“Yazmin’s had the worst day of her life,” Suki pointed out, placing the open paper down on the coffee table. “She’s been really worried about what you’d think.”
Mum threw back her head in laughter. “I’m not surprised. I’d have felt the same if I’d been pictured with that twat, and it’s ten times worse for you, coz you’re young enough to be his granddaughter! I gather this was taken when you picked him up in the street yesterday.”
“I told you about that?” I said, feeling like a huge boulder had been lifted from my shoulders. “Oh gosh – yes I did tell you. The shock must have wiped my memory. So you believe me then?”
Mum couldn’t answer, she became hysterical. I couldn’t work out whether she was laughing or crying. I think it was a bit of both. Sparkling tears rolled down her glowing face as she gasped for breath.
After what felt like an hour of solid hysterics, she finally said, “Sorry – it’s just you hate that man so much – how ironic! Sorry to laugh baby.”
I was kind of relieved at her laughter. At least she believed me and didn’t think I was having sex with a middle aged bloke who’s face strongly resembled a baboon’s bottom!
Suki announced she’d better get home for tea and I walked her part way back. When I returned home, Mum was in the kitchen with her face in the freezer.
“Fancy a veggie burger in a bun?” she asked.
“Ok. Thanks.”
After managing less than half of my burger, I swallowed down a couple of herbal tranquilisers with as much water as I could take.
Mum watched sadly. “If you need to talk, I’m here to listen.”
“Thanks Mum, but I’m too embarrassed. I think I might have to leave my job.”
“It’ll all blow over. Get your colleagues to set people straight.”
“They’re already doing that. I just don’t think I can face anyone.”
“It’s a beautiful picture, if you cut Dudley out of it. Perhaps you’ll be scouted by a top modelling agency – you do look really stunning.”
“Thanks Mum, but I don’t want to be a model – all that dieting would kill me. I don’t want to end up eating nothing but lemons and lettuce for months on end so I can resemble a skeleton, thank you very much.”
“You’re right,” agreed Mum, hugging me. “I don’t want a sickly stick insect for a daughter.”
I retired to my room. Thanks to the pongy herbal pills, I fell asleep quickly and managed to get a reasonable amount of sleep, although I did wake a couple of times, heart thumping, as flashbacks of the offending photo assaulted my brain.