Chapter Nine
Next day was Sunday. I woke puffy eyed, telling Mum again it was the nightmare which had made me cry. It would just have been too embarrassing to admit I was deeply upset because a bloke I fancied had probably just screwed my most plain-looking colleague, who also happened to be old enough to be his granny.
At least I had Suki’s tarot session to look forward to later. I couldn’t wait to ask the cards questions about what Ty and Rose got up to last night, although I was horribly afraid of what they might say.
I made myself a nice strong espresso, gulping it down before making another one and enjoying it with toast and Marmite. I was just crunching on my last corner of toast when a text came through from Suki: Hiya. Can you meet earlier for the tarot? I’m depressed.
I picked up my phone and tapped away: So am I. Can I come to yours about two?
Yes please, came the reply.
See you then.
It was already quarter to one, I sat down for a little while, whilst the caffeine kicked in, then I took a nice long steamy shower, hoping it would help reduce the puffiness of my eyes as much as possible. It didn’t work, so I applied a light make-up and got dressed.
At quarter to two, I stepped out onto the street. It was a dull, grey day. Nevertheless, I put on big sunglasses to cover my swollen eyes. Then I power-walked all the way to Suki’s house, angry rap music blaring through my earbuds. I almost got trampled by a trotting horse as I crossed a side street. God knows how I missed that big chestnut animal and the young rider who was dressed in bright, florescent yellow. I guess I had too much on my mind, and the banging music in my head certainly didn’t help.
Suki glumly let me in and we stomped straight up to her room. I noticed a lot of her stuff had disappeared and there were three large packed boxes in the corner.
“I hope you’re not moving away!” I said in alarm.
“I wouldn’t be in this challenge if I was leaving!” Suki said. “They’re my gran’s stuff. She’ll be eighty next-month – she’s giving up her council flat and moving in with us tomorrow. She needs help. She has one of those pull along shopping trolleys and it was searched a couple of days ago.”
“Searched?” I gasped. “Drugs?”
Suki laughed. “No – she was shopping and got all confused. She put the shopping straight into her trolley and walked out of the shop. She has dementia and it’s suddenly got much worse. We moved to this area to be closer to her. We knew the day would come when she’d have to move in with us, but we just didn’t expect it to come quite so soon. Mum’s staying with her while they pack everything.”
“I’m really sorry to hear that,” I replied sadly. “It will be lovely for her living here though.”
“I know. And she has a cute dog. I’m really looking forward to living with them both.”
“Sweet! What type of dog?”
“A little brown Corgi mix. His name’s Max.”
“Aww! How sweet. Can’t wait to meet them both.”
“It’ll be great. I’m moving into the garage extension – we were going to move gran in there, as it’s ground floor, but we realised it might be a bit cold for her in winter. I can sneak my actor boyfriend into there when I win the challenge!”
I put on a false smile and changed the subject. “Is Rose in tomorrow?”
“Not sure. If she is, I might just kill her,” Suki roared, ripping the cellophane from the new cards. She searched the internet for simple yes or no tarot spreads. Then she shuffled the cards, concentrating on the question Did Ty sleep with Rose? She picked five cards and laid them out in a line. According to the instructions, major cards like The Sun and Death meant a yes answer. Even numbered cards also indicated yes, and odd numbered cards indicated no. If all five cards were even it would indicate a strong yes, if all cards were odd it would indicate a strong no. Anything in-between would depend on the ratio of cards. Then you had to look at each card meaning for more depth on the matter.
I held my breath as she turned each card over – The Moon, The Wheel of Fortune, the Four of Pentacles, the Six of Pentacles and the Two of Staves. That was two major cards and three even cards which indicated a resounding yes – he did screw the homely old bitch.
Suki and I were too tired to interpret the cards together for the deeper meaning. We tried, but it didn’t seem to make any sense, so she asked, “What does he see in her?” before fiercely shuffling the cards and picking out the Queen of Cups. She angrily tapped the name of the card into her iPad, which came up with words like emotional security and compassionate.
“Oh, I see!” Suki snapped, glaring at the tablet screen. “He likes the older women because he’s looking for an emotionally secure, compassionate grandmother figure. Something must have gone very wrong in his childhood. Pervert!”
I couldn’t help thinking about the time Suki had fancied Dudley. The age gap must have been very similar, so her comment was pretty hypocritical, but I knew exactly how she felt as I was feeling it too.
She shuffled the cards again, asking, “Will their relationship last?” She spread out another five cards which were mixed but showed that, more likely than not, it would last.
“Grrr!” Suki growled. “Why did you buy me these stinking cards?”
“Perhaps we shouldn’t take it too seriously,” I pointed out. “I guess we need to lighten up a little – we don’t know for sure these things work.”
“Sensible, I guess,” Suki agreed.
We shuffled and asked questions for more than an hour. Amongst other things, the cards told us Suki would win the challenge and the relationship would be long lasting. They also indicated I would be married with kids within ten years and the man would have dark hair, and that Rose wouldn’t live too much longer. I didn’t like the bit about Suki winning, but otherwise the cards were quite positive for me – especially the bit about Rose’s impending death.
“Can you pick out another card for me?” I said. “I want to see what the chances of a relationship with Ty are, if the cards are wrong about him and Rose.”
“Sure!” Suki agreed, shuffling the cards, cutting them into three and picking a card for Ty and me. The card was The Tower. We looked it up. Basically, it meant disaster.
“Oh great!” I yelled, feeling sick in the pit of my stomach. “So there’s no chance for me!”
“And the cards did say you’d marry a dark haired man – Ty’s blonde.”
“Might be dyed!” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it might be, I’m gonna pick out a card for Ty and me now.”
She drew the ten of swords, which had the image of a dead person lying on the ground with ten swords stuck in their back. She reeled back in horror at the sight as I laughed inwardly. Her chances of a relationship with him didn’t look good either then. Booyaka!
The next day, I arrived at work just before noon. Suki was there, solemn faced, waiting for me.
“I heard Rose talking to Kalisha this morning,” she said. “She was all upset and said Ty is seeing someone behind her back.”
“What?” I cried. “That doesn’t make sense. They just got together a couple of days ago and he’s now seeing someone behind her back? Are you sure that’s what you heard?”
“Yep!” Suki said. “That’s what I heard.”
“OMG!” he sounds just as disgusting as Dudley! Where’s Rose now?”
“She went home in tears.”
“Bloody hell! Serves the dirty old woman right. Who would ever have guessed Ty was a bloody granny banger?”
“I know,” Suki sighed, placing her head in her hands. “It’s like a sick joke.”
With little warning, I found my temper zooming skywards like a rocket. “I’m gonna go fucking mad with all this craziness. GRANNY BANGER!”
At that moment, Kalisha stormed through the office door. “Keep your voice down please, Yazmin! I know it’s almost bonfire night, but do you really need to get that excited about fireworks?”
Suki burst out laughing. “Oh lord
y,” she whispered through giggles. “Does she really think a granny banger is a firework? That’s hilarious!”
I wasn’t laughing. Before I could think, I blurted out, “Tyrone Small shagged Rose – we saw them leave the party together and we’ve heard he’s already seeing someone else behind her back. I’m not surprised though – she’s all wrinkles and sags. He must be crazy!”
Kalisha laughed. “You’re off your head Yazmin Jones! Tyrone’s only a young man – he wouldn’t be interested in Rose! Why are you so upset anyway – do you have a romantic interest in him?”
I felt like I’d been knocked sideways by a bus. I didn’t like people knowing about my romantic interests for fear of making a fool of myself.
“Not at all,” I lied. “I just felt concerned for Rose, that’s all. I had a migraine pill this morning – it’s made me go a bit mad – don’t think I’ll be taking one again!”
Kalisha didn’t look convinced, I guess my outburst had made my feelings for Ty pretty obvious.
“I think you need to cool down a bit,” she said.
“Yes, I’ll feel much better after a coffee.”
“Take yourself off to the greenroom for a few minutes – their coffee’s much better than the instant crap we’ve got in here.”
“Ok,” I said, hopping off my chair.
“Actually,” Kalisha said, striding towards her desk and opening the drawer. “I think we could all do with a nice coffee. She pulled out her purse and handed me a tenner. “Black coffees all round please!”
“Thank you,” I said, breezing out of the office and hurrying to the greenroom to see who I could see. Ty wasn’t there, thank goodness. I couldn’t have faced speaking to him after what I’d seen at the party. I was still suffering from sleaze induced nausea. Dudley the perv was there though. He sat there looking all greasy and grimy, reading a copy of The Stage newspaper and greedily scoffing down a full English breakfast. The food disappeared into his face at such speed you’d think he hadn’t eaten for a week. He wiped dripping ketchup from his chin with his sleeve, then wiped his greasy hands on his trousers as he looked up and gave me a sickly brown-toothed smile. I looked away, pretending not to notice, and promptly ordered the coffees.
As I made my way out of the greenroom, Dudley shouted, “Alright babe? I was really worried about you the other day – you looked really ill. You looked gorgeous last night though.”
I didn’t answer. I rushed away as fast as was possible in my heels without spilling the tray of scalding drinks all over myself. I hurried back to the office, banging on the door like I had a yeti on my trail. Suki let me in, a look of horror on her face.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” she said. “Are you ok?”
“Yes,” I lied, handing Suki her black coffee.
“Ty wasn’t in there snogging Rose was he?”
“No,” I said. “Dudley was in there – he just gives me the creeps.”
“Me too,” Kalisha said, shuddering. “I thought he was going to try it on with me at the party – the way he was ogling my tits.”
I couldn’t believe it! Kalisha must be nearing sixty and he’d perved us both. Had he eyed up every female in the room that night from seventeen to seventy? He obviously suffered from that sex addiction disorder thing.
Later that day, we got the news that Rose had been signed off work with depression. She wouldn’t be coming back for a fortnight. Suki and I were desperate to find out the truth, and now it looked as though it might be sometime before we had any chance of having any idea what happened.
I had further bad news about half an hour later, when Mum stormed into the foyer announcing she’d quit her café job.
“I’d had more than enough!” she roared at me through the box office window. “We were having a latte art session – you know – milky patterns on top of coffees. The snooty bitch teaching us showed us how to do a leaf and they didn’t like it because I did a ganja leaf.”
“Sounds … different,” I said, my head reeling. “Did it look like a ganja leaf?”
“No!” Mum bawled. “It looked more like a spider, but who cares? Stupid latte art bitch stuck her nose in the air saying they don’t do drugs in their classy café. So I said, well, people come in with their tongues hanging out desperate for their coffee fix, don’t they? We sell coffee – coffee contains caffeine – caffeine is a drug – so we’re basically drug dealers. Then I walked out, telling them to keep their disgusting job! I want to work here in this theatre.”
Poor Mum. In her rage, she hadn’t thought it through. She had no chance of getting a job here now both Kalisha and the theatre manager had heard her rant - Peter had been sat behind me with Kalisha discussing a mistake in the latest theatre brochure. She’s just like me – we get so hot headed at times that we practically explode.
“I don’t think a job here’s a possibility,” I said, my face hot with embarrassment. “You’ll need a complete change of image to stand any chance now. Perhaps you should buy big glasses and a rainbow wig.”
I watched her face go into shock, as she realised what she’d just done. How were we going to survive? The café people would never give her a reference now, so her choice of jobs was going to be limited for the time being. I know how she felt – those people in the café were disgustingly snobbish, but it’s a shame she didn’t hang on and get herself another job before going off the deep end.
As she walked away, I noticed Dudley following her out of the door and wondered if he’d been there all along listening to her rant. Was he going to attempt to take advantage of her mood, or did he just happen to be innocently walking behind her? To my dismay, a bunch of people arrived and formed a small queue at my window. I glared at all the miserable faces in the line and felt like punching each and every one of them with a boxing glove.
“Have you got any tickets for The Mad Dentist on the twelfth of January?” asked an old man in a trilby at the front of the queue.
“Sorry!” I burst out. “Emergency! Kalisha, can you take over please? I think my mum’s been taken ill.”
“Of course,” Kalisha said at once. She attended to the old man as I rushed out the box office door then outside onto the street, where Dudley was chatting to my mum. I stood within earshot, neither of them could see me as I was stood behind a theatre information board spying through a gap between the wood and the supporting poles.
Dirty Dudley grinned at Mum, showing his tobacco coloured gnashers. “Anything for you, beautiful,” I heard him say creepily. “It’s a pleasure darling.”
I saw red and found myself screaming, “Pleasure? I’ll show you bloody pleasure!”
Mum and Dudley turned towards me in shock as I leapt out from behind the board, bearing my fists. Mum grabbed me. “Calm down Yazmin!” she yelled. “What’s wrong with you? Dudley kindly gave me his autograph.”
Embarrassed, I stopped and stared at Mum, then Dudley, whose face had frozen in terror. I sank my head into my hands.
“Sorry,” I lied. “I’ve had a migraine pill – they affect brain chemistry. I’ll have a coffee – then I’ll be fine.”
Dudley looked at me like I’d escaped from a secure unit, then hurried away. I’d never seen a fat man run so fast.
“Sorry Mum,” I said. “It’s just he’s a filthy sex maniac. I was worried.”
“Don’t worry,” Mum laughed. “I’ve got better taste. I didn’t even want his autograph.”
“What? You mean he forced his autograph on you?”
“No. I mean I don’t want it for myself. I thought I’d get it to sell for electricity money, as I’ve just lost my job. I saw him and just thought I’d take advantage.”
“Makes a change from him being the one taking advantage – dirty old sleaze bag. Well, good luck finding someone who wants his smelly autograph. I’d better pop back to work. See you tonight – should I bring chips?”
“That’d be nice. Well, I’m off to the job centre now. See you later sweetie.”
I rushed back into work. The queues had gone and Suki and Kalisha were staring at me through their individual windows.
“Is your Mum ok?” Suki asked.
“Yes,” I said. “She felt faint. It was a bit scary but she seems ok now. She phoned a friend who’s picking her up now to take her for a coffee.”
“That’s good of her friend,” Kalisha said, smiling sweetly. “Would you girls like tickets to the press night of Mothballs next week?”
“Yes please!” Suki and I chorused.
Kalisha picked us two special tickets right on the side of the stage and printed them off.
I arrived home at half past six, clutching a carrier bag of steaming chips and beans.
“Any luck at the job centre?” I asked.
Mum grinned. “Never went there!”
“Oh, I thought you said ….”
“Didn’t need to go. I’ve fixed myself up with a job in the corner shop – thirty hours a week.”
“Well done!” I said.
“It’s only temporary – covering sick leave. The Polish lady with the red hair is having an operation – they reckon she’ll be away for six weeks. Then, when something else comes along, the new employers can ask the shop for a reference instead of the café, coz the café wouldn’t give me one anyway. Smart, eh?”
“Don’t the shop need a reference?” I asked, tucking into my chips.
“Nah – only temporary, innit? And the owner knows me. And he’s a Dudley Mountain fan. I went in to enquire about the job and one of Dudley’s songs was playing. So I mentioned the autograph, he was very impressed so I said he could have it for free. Then the job was mine.”
I giggled. “Nice Dudley’s good for something.”
Mum burst out laughing, but I sank into my chair, face in hands, thinking of the earlier incident when I’d shouted at Dudley. Then I lost my appetite – the thought of his face put me right off my chips.
Feeling tired and also a bit depressed about this actor challenge thing, which felt like it was going nowhere, I decided to have an early night. I lay there staring at the dark ceiling for ages, feeling the situation was hopeless. But then I thought about the way Ty looked at me. He really seemed to like me. It seemed I stood a good chance with him. It now appeared unlikely anything had happened between him and Rose - I began to feel a bit silly for ever having believed it. But how was I going to overcome my nerves to actually be able to string a few words together so I could talk to him?
My emotions went up and down for what felt like hours, one minute I felt positive, the next I felt hopeless. Then I had an idea. Perhaps there was an app or something I could download on my phone to help me overcome my shyness. I grabbed my phone, forgetting it was plugged into the charger. It shot out of my hand and plopped onto the carpet. I retrieved it, unplugged the charger, and typed in several phrases before finding a promising looking hypnosis app to help overcome anxiety with people you fancy. I downloaded the app and then lay back and listened. The soothing music and gently spoken words helped me drift off to sleep. The instructions said you needed to use it for a while before you saw results, but I had a very positive feeling about this. I was sure I was going to see some real results from day one.