“Ugh,” Xander said, and stood up, swiping at his face like he’d been exposed to the plague. “Seriously? Gross.”
Tyson nodded in approval at the dog. “Nice,” he said. “What else you got?”
Raisin lay down, rolled over, and closed her eyes, playing dead.
“Huh. Not bad,” Tyson said. “But can you bring in the chicks?”
Raisin got back to her feet and leaned against Darcy.
Tyson smiled, actually smiled, and Darcy was pretty sure it was the first smile she’d ever seen out of him. “Wow,” she said. “Your mouth does curve up at the ends.”
“Jesus,” Xander said. “Why do you always have to poke at the bear?”
Tyson met Darcy’s gaze, his eyes not quite as cold as they’d been. “And look at that, you’re not always a bitch.”
“Tyson,” Xander said in a low warning voice.
“It’s okay,” Darcy said to Xander, eyes still on Tyson. “He’s right. I’m not always a bitch.” She dropped Raisin’s leash in Tyson’s lap. “And you’re not always a bitter, angry asshole.”
“Fuck,” Xander muttered. “The two of you give me heartburn, you know that?”
“He always was a drama queen,” Tyson said to Raisin.
“It’s because he loves you,” Darcy told him.
“And you,” Tyson reminded her. “He loves you, too.”
“Seriously,” Xander said. “Shut the fuck up.”
“I know he does,” Darcy told Tyson. “And I love him, too. And because I do, I also love you.”
Tyson narrowed his eyes. “You love me,” he repeated, heavy on the disbelief.
“Yes. Because he loves you—even when you’re being an insufferable prick.”
Tyson choked out a laugh. “Well, why don’t you just tell us how you really feel?”
“I’m about to,” Darcy said.
“Okay,” Xander said, shifting on his feet. “I think we’re done here.”
Without taking her eyes off Tyson, Darcy pointed at him to zip it. “You’re hurting,” she said. “I get that. God, how I get that, Tyson. But by refusing to try to get back to the land of the living, by closing yourself off and depending on Xander for every damn thing every minute of the day, you’re making him hurt, too. Do you get that?”
Tyson’s smile was gone. His jaw was tight, his eyes shuttered. “What, you think I’m a reliant dick for shits and giggles? I can’t get around, and I can’t handle anyone else near me.”
Darcy looked at the hand he’d set on Raisin’s back. “Looks like you’re handling Raisin just fine.”
Raisin lifted her head from where she’d set it on Tyson’s leg and licked his hand.
Tyson made a rough noise and lowered his face to look into the dog’s eyes. Raisin very sweetly and very politely—and most touching of all, very slowly—leaned in and licked his chin.
Just once.
Then she sat back and seemed to smile.
Tyson stared at her. “She’s not afraid of me.”
“Well, why should she be?” Darcy asked. “You’re injured, not an ogre—at least not in appearance.”
Tyson never took his eyes off Raisin. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll be an asshole to her?”
“I’m more afraid that you’ll stop being an asshole all together and I might have to learn to like your sorry ass.”
Tyson snorted and finally looked at her. “I can’t afford to buy her.”
“I’m giving her to you.”
“So you feel sorry for me? I’m not a charity case.”
Darcy narrowed her eyes. “Raisin was a throwaway. Do you know what that means? It means that her owner took one look at her and decided she was different and therefore not as good as the others. And we both know, being that we’re different, too, that that’s just complete and utter bullshit. She’s better than all the others because she had to work doubly hard to do everything. I raised the money and bought her because she deserves to go to someone who gets her, someone who understands, someone who won’t treat her like a damn reject because she’s different. I thought you were that guy. Am I wrong?”
Tyson studied her for a long beat and then reached down and hauled Raisin up into his lap. Three-legged dog and PTSD man stared into each other’s eyes. “You hear that?” Tyson asked the dog. “She’s yelling at your new dad. I’m going to teach you to growl at her just a little, show her who’s boss around here.”
Raisin licked his chin again.
Tyson let out a breath, closed his eyes, and wrapped his arms around Raisin, his expression more peaceful than Darcy had ever seen him. She glanced at Xander, who was staring at his brother like he was someone he hadn’t seen in a damn long time, his eyes suspiciously shiny.
Darcy was having the same problem. “I’ve got a fifty-pound bag of food in my trunk and other supplies,” she said. “Like her other food and water bowls and a doggie bed. Be good to her.” She turned and walked to her car, with Xander following.
He began to unload the stuff for her but then stopped and looked into her eyes. “You love me?”
“You know I do,” she said.
“But you’re not in love with me.”
She met his gaze head-on. She was done with battling the truth, done battling period. “I wanted to be,” she said quietly. “Do I get points for that?”
He stared at her for a beat, stone-faced. Unmoving. Giving nothing away. “I hate this.”
Her heart squeezed at the pain on his face. “Xander—”
“I’ve loved you for fucking ever, you know that.”
He wasn’t going to make this easy. She’d known that. But she could make him understand, she needed to make him understand, because he meant far too much to her for there to be any other option. She’d just explain exactly how much he meant to her, how important he was to her, and he’d be okay. They’d be okay. “I know you’ve felt things for me,” she said carefully. “But I wasn’t ready—”
“No,” he interrupted grimly. “You weren’t. Not before the accident. And not after. I knew that. But I thought you’d get there someday, so I waited. I’ve been waiting all year, Darcy.”
“Xander,” she breathed, her heart hurting as much if not more than her leg now. “I never asked you to wait—”
“But you didn’t cut me loose, either,” he said, pointing at her. “You kept me on the hook—”
“No. Oh hell no, you don’t get to say that.” She’d found her own mad and frustration to match his and slapped aside his finger, jabbing her own into his chest. “I told you from the start that we were just friends. I told you that being friends was all I had to offer you. And you’re my best friend, Xander.” Her voice shook. “You’re—”
“What changed?” he demanded. “Huh? Tell me, Darcy, what changed that suddenly you’re so willing to go there with AJ and not me.”
“I’m not going to go there with AJ.”
“But you want to.”
The shocking truth of that shut her up. So did the pain in his voice. And for the first time she became afraid that she wasn’t going to be able to fix this at all, which she couldn’t even think about. She didn’t want to lose him. Couldn’t lose him.
Xander stared at her and then shoved his fingers into his hair and turned away. “Jesus, Darcy. It’s true. Shit. You know what? The hell with this. I’m over it and the way you hurt everyone you claim to love. The hell with you.”
She could scarcely breathe as every single word he’d uttered stabbed her in the gut and heart. “Xander—”
“I don’t need you, Darcy. We’re done.”
“No.” She reached out for him. “Xander, no—”
But he threw her hand off, grabbed all of Raisin’s supplies, and strode off, leaving her standing there in the parking lot feeling like she’d just been run over.
He’d walked away from her, left her without even looking back, like it had been the easiest thing in the world to do. She’d had it happen before, of course, and she should’ve been
used to it, but he was her best friend and he was gone.
She closed the trunk and then leaned on it until she felt a set of eyes on her.
Tyson sat in his chair at the side of the building, watching her, Raisin at his side.
Darcy blew out a sigh and walked over to him. “If you’ve got something to add to that, tell me now.”
He shook his head. “You’re not going to cry, are you?” he asked with the look of a man facing the gallows.
She let out a half laugh, half sob. “I don’t cry,” she said, but indeed the tears were threatening, blocking her windpipe, sitting on her chest like a two-ton elephant.
Tyson blew out a breath but his eyes were solemn. “Listen, I love the guy,” he said. “But he’s wrong, dead wrong. He does need you.”
But Xander hadn’t been wrong at all. She’d been a bad friend to him. She’d deserved everything he’d said, she knew it.
“Also,” Tyson said, “I’m sorry for all the shitty things I’ve said about you.”
“I … didn’t hear you say any shitty things.”
“That’s because I said them behind your back.” Even as he spoke, he reached down for Raisin, pulling her into his lap again, stroking her soft fur.
Raisin stared up at him in adoration. Darcy’s heart squeezed and she gave the dog a hug good-bye, cupping her face. “Watch after these two,” she said softly. “They mean everything to me.”
Raisin panted her agreement, her eyes making the promise.
“Wait,” Tyson said to her as she got into her car. “What do I owe you? For all the supplies?”
“Don’t skip any more therapy or PT appointments. Do it for Raisin,” she said. “She needs you. And maybe be nicer to your brother once in a while.”
“So you’re really not going to sleep with him?” Tyson asked.
She sighed. “I never was.”
“How about me? You ever going to sleep with me?”
She caught the teasing light in his gaze and knew he wanted a smile. She tried but it fell a little short of the mark. “Not even if hell froze over.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry we’re both such dicks.”
Darcy shrugged like it didn’t matter, but it did matter. And on top of that, it was getting hard to breathe. An inch from meltdown … “I’ve gotta go,” she managed.
Tyson nodded, and then he and Raisin rolled away.
Darcy turned and found AJ watching. Waiting. She had no idea how much he’d seen or heard but given the look in his eyes, it was much more than she’d have liked. “Don’t even think about asking me if I’m okay.”
“Can I ask if you want to talk about it?”
“No.” She didn’t want to talk. Not now. Not ever. Ordering her legs to stop shaking and her throat to stop burning, she yanked open her car door. “Gotta go.”
Twenty-five
AJ watched Darcy drive off before he turned and walked through the gym to find Xander, where he was now pumping iron like he had a lot of aggression to work out.
The place had emptied and Xander was the only one there. He met AJ’s gaze in the mirror and let the weights drop. “What do you want?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
Xander stilled, then shook his head. “We’re not doing this, no fucking way.”
“You hurt her,” AJ said. “On purpose.”
“Yeah? Well, she hurt me, too. Now we’re even.”
“Not even close,” AJ said. “Not only did you just jump all over her shit to punish her for not feeling the way you wanted her to, then you went for the jugular and ripped your friendship out from beneath her when you know exactly how much it—you—mean to her.”
“You eavesdropped?”
“Hard not to, you were yelling.”
Xander stood up and made a move to go. “We’re not discussing this.”
AJ blocked his escape. “Try again.”
Xander narrowed his eyes. “Get out of my way.”
“You’ve been there for Darcy through a helluva lot,” AJ said. “And you’ve let her be there for you, and now suddenly you decide to change the rules and betray her when she needs you the most?” He shook his head. “That’s bullshit, Xander. Complete bullshit.”
“Betray her? I didn’t betray her,” Xander exploded. “She— She …”
“What?” AJ asked. “Told you the truth? Gave you everything she had to give?”
Xander opened his mouth but AJ wasn’t done. “Don’t even try to justify it. Not to me. I know what happened, Xander. And hell, I even understand it. I understand you. But she doesn’t. You know how she grew up, you know how hard it is for her to let people care about her. You claimed to love her but then you screwed with her head and her heart. You gave her your feelings and then added on conditions for those feelings. Even worse, you basically threw her feelings back in her face, pretty much saying she had to love you the way you wanted her to or forget it. What the fuck kind of love is that, Xander?”
In answer, Xander led with his fist. AJ ducked but still got clipped on the jaw. Xander was coming in for punch number two when AJ clocked him.
Xander landed on the mat, hard.
Ariana came running out from the offices, eyes wide with shock. “What in the—” She dropped to her knees at Xander’s side and then looked up to AJ. “What did you do?”
When he didn’t answer her, she whirled back to Xander, running her hands over him. “Where are you hurt?”
“I’m not.” Xander staggered to his feet, holding his eye. “It’s nothing.”
Ariana rose as well, dividing a horrified look between the two. “You … fought? Here?”
“No,” Xander said. “It was nothing.”
Ariana stared at AJ, knowing he wouldn’t lie to her. And he wouldn’t. Instead he said nothing.
She blew out a sound of disgust. “You need to take this outside,” she said as if she owned the place. “Your negative energy doesn’t belong in here.” She marched to the entrance, where there was a large drink machine. She pulled a dollar out of her pocket and fed it to the machine, getting a chilled bottle of water for her efforts.
This she brought to Xander. “For your eye,” she said. “It’s already getting black and blue from the fight you didn’t have.” She pressed the cold bottle to his face and Xander winced but took ahold of it.
“Thanks,” he mumbled.
“You’re welcome,” she said tightly, very un-Ariana-like, and strode off, leaving the building, steam coming out of her ears.
In her wake, AJ carefully moved his jaw back and forth. Hurt like a bitch but it didn’t feel broken.
Xander pulled the bottle away and gingerly touched his eye. “Jesus, you’ve got a right hook.” He turned to make sure Ariana was gone before he spoke again, keeping his voice down as if he might be afraid of her. “And you can fuck off. You of all people don’t get to say shit to me about how I treat Darcy, not when we both know which of the two of us is going to end up hurting her—and it isn’t me.”
And then he stalked out.
AJ locked up and left, too. He went home, where he tripped over Thor and Stark, both of whom had lots of bitching and complaining and caterwauling about how much he’d been gone lately. He showered and told himself he was going to fall into bed and sleep like the dead until dawn.
He did the shower part.
But then he stared at his big, comfy bed, not seeing that but the look of devastation on Darcy’s face after Xander had gotten done with her. “Sorry,” he told the cats, and grabbed his keys, heading out into the night.