PROTEUS Know, noble lord, they have devised a mean
How he her chamber-window will ascend,
And with a corded ladder fetch her down:
For which, the youthful lover now is gone,
And this way comes he with it presently,
Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.
But, good my lord, do it so cunningly
That my discovery be not aimed at:45
For love of you, not hate unto my friend,
Hath made me publisher of this pretence.47
DUKE Upon mine honour, he shall never know
That I had any light49 from thee of this.
PROTEUS Adieu, my lord: Sir Valentine is coming.
[Exit Proteus]
[Enter Valentine]
DUKE Sir Valentine, whither away51 so fast?
VALENTINE Please it your grace, there is a messenger
That stays to bear my letters to my friends,
And I am going to deliver them.
DUKE Be they of much import?
VALENTINE The tenor56 of them doth but signify
My health and happy being at your court.
DUKE Nay then, no matter. Stay with me awhile:
I am to break59 with thee of some affairs
That touch me near60, wherein thou must be secret.
'Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought
To match my friend Sir Turio to my daughter.
VALENTINE I know it well, my lord, and sure the match
Were rich and honourable: besides, the gentleman
Is full of virtue, bounty65, worth and qualities
Beseeming66 such a wife as your fair daughter.
Cannot your grace win her to fancy him?
DUKE No, trust me, she is peevish, sullen, froward,68
Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,
Neither regarding70 that she is my child
Nor fearing me as if I were71 her father.
And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,
Upon advice73, hath drawn my love from her,
And, where I thought the remnant of mine age74
Should have been cherished by her child-like duty,
I now am full resolved to take a wife
And turn her out to who77 will take her in:
Then let her beauty be her wedding-dower,78
For me and my possessions she esteems79 not.
VALENTINE What would your grace have me to do in this?
DUKE There is a lady in Verona here
Whom I affect: but she is nice82 and coy,
And nought esteems my aged eloquence.83
Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor--
For long agone I have forgot to court,85
Besides, the fashion of the time is changed--
How and which way I may bestow myself87
To be regarded88 in her sun-bright eye.
VALENTINE Win her with gifts, if she respect not words:
Dumb jewels often in their silent kind90
More than quick91 words do move a woman's mind.
DUKE But she did scorn a present that I sent her.
VALENTINE A woman sometime scorns what best contents her.
Send her another: never give her o'er,94
For scorn at first makes after-love the more.95
If she do frown, 'tis not in hate of you,
But rather to beget97 more love in you.
If she do chide, 'tis not to have you gone,
Forwhy,99 the fools are mad, if left alone.
Take no repulse, whatever she doth say,
For101 'get you gone', she doth not mean 'away!'
Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces:102
Though ne'er so black103, say they have angels' faces.
That man that hath a tongue, I say is no man
If with his tongue105 he cannot win a woman.
DUKE But she I mean is promised by her friends106
Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,
And kept severely from resort of men,
That109 no man hath access by day to her.
VALENTINE Why then I would resort to her by night.
DUKE Ay, but the doors be locked and keys kept safe,
That no man hath recourse to her by night.
VALENTINE What lets113 but one may enter at her window?
DUKE Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,
And built so shelving115 that one cannot climb it
Without apparent hazard of his life.
VALENTINE Why then, a ladder quaintly117 made of cords
To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,118
Would serve to scale another Hero's tower,119
So120 bold Leander would adventure it.
DUKE Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,121
Advise me where I may have such a ladder.
VALENTINE When would you use it? Pray, sir, tell me that.
DUKE This very night; for Love is like a child
That longs for everything that he can come by.
VALENTINE By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder.
DUKE But, hark thee: I will go to her alone.
How shall I best convey the ladder thither?
VALENTINE It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it
Under a cloak that is of any length.130
DUKE A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?131
VALENTINE Ay, my good lord.
DUKE Then let me see thy cloak:
I'll get me one of such another134 length.
VALENTINE Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.
DUKE How shall I fashion me136 to wear a cloak?
I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.
Takes Valentine's cloak and discovers a letter and a rope ladder concealed under it
What letter is this same?138 What's here? 'To Silvia'!
And here an engine fit for my proceeding.139
I'll be so bold to break the seal for once.
Reads
'My thoughts do harbour141 with my Silvia nightly,
And slaves they are to me that send them flying.
O, could their master come and go as lightly,143
Himself would lodge where, senseless, they are lying.144
My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them,145
While I, their king, that thither them importune,146
Do curse the grace that with such grace147 hath blessed them,
Because myself do want my servants148' fortune.
I curse myself, for they are sent by me,
That they should harbour where their lord should be.'
What's here?
'Silvia, this night I will enfranchise152 thee.'
'Tis so: and here's the ladder for the purpose.
Why, Phaeton -- for thou art Merops' son154--
Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car,
And with thy daring folly burn the world?
Wilt thou reach stars because they shine on thee?
Go, base intruder, overweening slave,158
Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,159
And think my patience, more than thy desert,160
Is privilege for thy departure hence.
Thank me for this more than for all the favours
Which, all too much, I have bestowed on thee.
But if thou linger in my territories
Longer than swiftest expedition165
Will give thee time to leave our royal court,
By heaven, my wrath shall far exceed the love
I ever bore my daughter or thyself.
Be gone! I will not hear thy vain excuse,
But as thou lov'st thy life, make speed from hence.
[Exit]
VALENTINE And why not death, rather than living torment?
To die is to be banished from myself,
And Silvia is myself: banished from her
Is self from self. A deadly b
anishment:
What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?
What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?176
Unless it be to think that she is by
And feed upon the shadow178 of perfection.
Except179 I be by Silvia in the night,
There is no music in the nightingale.
Unless I look on Silvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon.
She is my essence, and I leave to be183
If I be not by her fair influence184
Fostered, illumined185, cherished, kept alive.
I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom:186
Tarry I here, I but attend on187 death,
But fly I hence, I fly away from life.
[Enter Proteus and Lance]
PROTEUS Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.
LANCE So-ho190, so-ho!
PROTEUS What see'st thou?
LANCE Him we go to find: there's not a hair192 on's head but
'tis a Valentine.193
PROTEUS Valentine?
VALENTINE No.
PROTEUS Who then? His spirit?196
VALENTINE Neither.
PROTEUS What then?
VALENTINE Nothing.
LANCE Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
PROTEUS Who wouldst thou strike?
LANCE Nothing.
PROTEUS Villain203, forbear.
LANCE Why, sir, I'll strike nothing.204 I pray you--
PROTEUS Sirrah, I say forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.
VALENTINE My ears are stopped206 and cannot hear good news,
So much of bad already hath possessed them.
PROTEUS Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,208
For they are harsh, untuneable and bad.
VALENTINE Is Silvia dead?
PROTEUS No, Valentine.
VALENTINE No Valentine212 indeed, for sacred Silvia.
Hath she forsworn213 me?
PROTEUS No, Valentine.
VALENTINE No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.
What is your news?
LANCE Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.217
PROTEUS That thou art banished -- O, that's the news--
From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend.
VALENTINE O, I have fed upon this woe already,
And now excess of it will make me surfeit.221
Doth Silvia know that I am banished?
PROTEUS Ay, ay: and she hath offered to the doom--223
Which unreversed stands in effectual force--
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears:
Those at her father's churlish feet she tendered,226
With them, upon her knees, her humble self,
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became228 them
As if but now they waxed229 pale for woe.
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;232
But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed234 him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,235
That to close236 prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding237 there.
VALENTINE No more, unless the next word that thou speak'st
Have some malignant239 power upon my life:
If so, I pray thee breathe it in mine ear,
As ending anthem of my endless dolour.241
PROTEUS Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
And study243 help for that which thou lament'st:
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love:
Besides, thy staying will abridge246 thy life.
Hope is a lover's staff: walk hence with that
And manage248 it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence,
Which, being writ to me, shall be delivered
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.251
The time now serves not to expostulate:252
Come, I'll convey thee through the city-gate,
And ere I part with thee, confer at large254
Of all that may concern thy love-affairs.
As thou lov'st Silvia, though not for thyself,256
Regard257 thy danger, and along with me.
VALENTINE I pray thee, Lance, an if thou see'st my boy,258
Bid him make haste and meet me at the North-gate.
PROTEUS Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.
VALENTINE O, my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!
[Exeunt Valentine and Proteus]
LANCE I am but a fool, look you, and yet I have the wit to
think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he263
be but one knave. He lives not now that264 knows me to be in
love, yet I am in love, but a team of horse265 shall not pluck that
from me, nor who 'tis I love: and yet 'tis a woman, but what
woman, I will not tell myself: and yet 'tis a milkmaid, yet
'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid268, for
she is her master's maid, and serves269 for wages. She hath
more qualities than a water-spaniel270, which is much in a
Pulls out a paper
bare Christian. Here is the cate-log of her condition.271
'Imprimis:272 She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse can
do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch273, but only carry,
therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item: She can milk.'274 Look
you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands.
[Enter Speed]
SPEED How now, Signior Lance? What news with your
mastership?
LANCE With my master's ship? Why, it is at sea.
SPEED Well, your old vice279 still: mistake the word. What
news, then, in your paper?
LANCE The blackest news that ever thou heard'st.
SPEED Why, man? How black?
LANCE Why, as black as ink.
SPEED Let me read them.
LANCE Fie on thee, jolt-head285, thou canst not read.
SPEED Thou liest: I can.
LANCE I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot287 thee?
SPEED Marry, the son of my grandfather.
LANCE O illiterate loiterer! It was the son of thy
grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.
SPEED Come, fool, come: try me in291 thy paper.
Gives him the paper
LANCE There: and Saint Nicholas be thy speed.292
Reads
SPEED 'Imprimis: She can milk.'
LANCE Ay, that she can.
SPEED 'Item: She brews good ale.'
LANCE And thereof comes the proverb 'Blessing of your
heart, you brew good ale.'
SPEED 'Item: She can sew.'298
LANCE That's as much as to say 'Can she so?'
SPEED 'Item: She can knit.'
LANCE What need a man care for a stock301 with a wench,
when she can knit him a stock?302
SPEED 'Item: She can wash and scour.'
LANCE A special virtue, for then she need not be washed304
and scoured.
SPEED 'Item: She can spin.'306
LANCE Then may I set the world on wheels307, when she can
spin for her living.
SPEED 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'309
LANCE That's as much as to say 'bastard virtues310' that
indeed know not their fathers, and therefore have no names.
SPEED Here follow her vices.
LANCE Close at the heels of her virtues.
SPEED 'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respect of314 her
breath.'
>
LANCE Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast.
Read on.
SPEED 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'318
LANCE That makes amends for her sour breath.
SPEED 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'
LANCE It's no matter for that, so she sleep321 not in her talk.
SPEED 'Item: She is slow in words.'
LANCE O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be
slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee out
with't, and place it for her chief virtue.
SPEED 'Item: She is proud.'326
LANCE Out with that too: it was Eve's legacy327, and cannot be
ta'en from her.
SPEED 'Item: She hath no teeth.'329
LANCE I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
SPEED 'Item: She is curst.'331
LANCE Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
SPEED 'Item: She will often praise333 her liquor.'
LANCE If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will,
for good things should be praised.
SPEED 'Item: She is too liberal.'336
LANCE Of her tongue she cannot337, for that's writ down she
is slow of: of her purse she shall not, for that I'll keep shut.
Now, of another thing339 she may, and that cannot I help. Well,
proceed.
SPEED 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults
than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'
LANCE Stop there: I'll have her. She was mine and not
mine, twice or thrice in that last article. Rehearse344 that once
more.
SPEED 'Item: She hath more hair than wit'--
LANCE More hair than wit? It may be I'll prove347 it. The
cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than348
the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for
the greater hides the less. What's next?
SPEED 'And more faults than hairs'--
LANCE That's monstrous: O, that that were out!352
SPEED 'And more wealth than faults.'
LANCE Why, that word makes the faults gracious.354 Well, I'll
have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible--
SPEED What then?
LANCE Why, then will I tell thee -- that thy master stays for
thee at the North-gate.
SPEED For me?
LANCE For thee? Ay, who art thou? He hath stayed for a
better man than thee.
SPEED And must I go to him?
LANCE Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long
that going will scarce serve the turn.
SPEED Why didst not tell me sooner? Pox of365' your love
letters!
[Exit]
LANCE Now will he be swinged367 for reading my letter; an
unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets. I'll368
after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
Exit
Act 3 Scene 2
running scene 12
Enter Duke [and] Turio
DUKE Sir Turio, fear not but that she will love you,
Now Valentine is banished from her sight.
TURIO Since his exile she hath despised me most,
Forsworn my company and railed4 at me,
That5 I am desperate of obtaining her.