***
Or night. Hours later, Kat was still no place to be found. Piper figured she might show up at the hot tub. But she hadn’t shown up. No one had seen her all day.
Piper turned her attention to the present. Nothing like being in an outdoor hot tub surrounded by snow and a wintry breeze in twenty degrees Fahrenheit. The wedding crew sat in their swimsuits in the oversized tub and basked in the water’s steam and heat. Nick was by Piper’s side. Admiring his thick, muscular body, she recalled his days as a backup quarterback at State where he had conditioned himself to perfection. His body was still so beautiful that she craved him. She cuddled next to him in the hot-tub and felt a deep sense of love and security. Life couldn’t be any better than it was that night under the starry sky and the full moon. Chase was seated across from her next to Cherie. Bob, Betty and Flypaper were also present, along with a few other relatives, other than Kat.
No one had mentioned why Kat wasn’t there, and Piper was curious about that. When she asked Flypaper about her whereabouts, he said he hadn’t heard from her all day. Piper could tell that that bothered him. And he was acting weird, too quiet and reflective and unresponsive to other females. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe he had met his match.
“Hey, you guys on Twitter?” Chase asked in an attempt to spur a conversation. “Check out my last tweet.” He grabbed his mobile phone from his jacket pocket, which was bunched up in a small pile within reach of the hot tub. His grin indicated that he appreciated whatever he had tweeted, similar to the way a first grader appreciates show and tell. “Don’t you think Carly Brenner looks better as a woman?” Chase displayed a picture of Carly in a red dress and oversized high heels to his friends in the hot tub. “The shoes are what kill me,” he added. “Must be a size 13, special order.”
“Well, I beg to differ,” Cherie’s uncle Clyde said in a somewhat pretentious way. “She was much better as a man.”
“My last tweet was about my liquid lunch,” Betty answered.
“Really? You tweeted our lunch? Sweet! You’ll have to show me,” Bob said.
“I’m not on Twitter, but my last post on Facebook was about Ronald Beat’s hairdo,” Clyde offered. “Can’t believe that such an uncultivated and ill-informed buffoon is running for the presidency.”
“Yeah, let’s hope he runs as an independent,” Nick added.
“Let’s not,” Clyde returned with a huff. “That would kill the party’s chance. We would have no chance of lower taxes.” He pushed his thick-framed eyeglasses to the top of his rather bulbous nose and looked Nick in the eyes with a very stern expression. “We need our taxes lowered, Nick. Lowering taxes needs to be the nation’s first priority.”
“Sure, Clyde. Our first priority. Let’s ignore the schools, the environment, and the people…”
“Oh, you’re young. Young people are such idealists, always thinking that they can save the world,” Clyde said as he looked around the hot tub with his turkey-gobble of a chin held high. “When you get older, life slaps you in the face, and you discover that instead of helping others, you need to help yourself.” He lifted his plastic champagne flute and took a gentle sip.
Clyde was a somewhat chunky gentleman, possibly in his early sixties. Tight curls of salt and pepper covered his head and thickened his eyebrows, yet contrasted his puffy sunburned face. His only attire was a pair of swim trunks, which perhaps was unusual given the way that others inhabiting similar tired-looking, pale bodies would have insisted upon concealing themselves. Clyde didn’t seem the least bit concerned about the way his appearance varied from the other younger bodies in the tub. Piper found that interesting.
“Ever tweet about something….that matters? Something more serious?” Nick asked.
“What fun would that be?” Chase answered, followed by a few masked chuckles.
Then Cherie’s little sister Chloe piped up. “People should just tweet about happy things. Who wants to read about anything serious? Twitter is social media, not serious media.”
Chase added, “It’s just best to keep the serious stuff canned. No one wants to read about other people’s opinions on religion or politics, especially yours Nick. It’s better to be politically correct.”
“Point taken, Chase,” Clyde offered.
“I think it’s best to focus more on being morally correct than being politically correct,” Nick said. “All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t want to be at the pearly gates trying to explain to St. Peter why I spent so much of my life being ‘politically correct’ by only posting pictures of ham sandwiches and hairdos and margaritas and football, and I spent no time in my life focusing on things that mattered in life. So what if the world is crumbling around me with Christian genocides everywhere. So what if ISIS is chopping innocent people’s heads off and Boko Haram is kidnapping young school girls and forcing them to marry their captors or brainwashing them into being suicide bombers. I enjoyed the ham sandwich I had for lunch,” Nick said, without cracking any sort of facial expression. “Satan has done a nice job of convincing people that being politically correct is important. People are afraid to talk about the things that matter in their lives.”
Piper smiled as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Well said, Nick.”
Chase looked at him with a smirk and said, “Awkward. Man, you two are killing us with your preachiness. Puh-leeze stop!”
Jerk! So rude.
“One day you’ll understand why,” Nick retorted. “One day.”
Piper decided that they just needed to give up on Chase. He was a lost cause with an arrogant, condescending manner that was starting to get under her skin. Poor Cherie. What a terrible mistake she was about to make. Why couldn’t she see past Chase’s good looks? If she could peer into the window of his soul she would see him as more of a beast, like the demons who followed him around.
Piper caught Cherie’s attention and offered a slight smile, which Cherie returned. Poor thing. She wondered what Cherie’s parents thought of Chase. They were good people. Godly people. How could they let their oldest daughter make such a tragic mistake?
Piper took a sip from her oversized thermos of hot apple cider, which she was sharing with Nick. They had made a batch earlier that night with maple syrup, cinnamon, orange peel, lemon peel, and allspice, which tasted like liquid heaven. Nick enjoyed the drink too, and had already helped himself to several servings. It was the perfect replacement for beer.
“Cannonball time!” Bob hollered as he heaved himself out of the hot tub. Though he was only wearing a pair of swim trunks and a cowboy hat, he acted as if he didn’t feel the bitter cold air. He bounded towards the swimming pool, which was a few yards away, and jumped into it, cannonball style, flipping his cowboy hat right off of his head. When he surfaced, he collected his hat, which was floating in the pool and threw it into the snow. “How’d ya’ like that one? C’mon in everyone! It’s heated.”
Everyone laughed. “Everyone needs a little Bob sometimes,” Nick said.
“Little?” Bob laughed. “Everyone needs a lot of Bob, right Betty?”
“You got it babe,” Betty said as she climbed out of the hot tub and jumped into the pool next to Bob. “Definitely colder than the hot tub,” she announced.
“Nah, it’s refreshing. And balmy. Man, I’m bummed you’re heading home tomorrow, Betty. I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, but you’re coming to visit on Valentine’s Day, right?”
“Yeah. It’s going to be great.”
Piper turned towards the ski lodge and noticed a familiar woman walking toward them with a thermos in her hand. Kat.
“Can I join you guys?”
“Of course,” Flypaper answered. “What’s in the thermos?”
“Hot apple cider,” Kat responded.
“We have some space over here, Kat,” Chase called out as he slid over.
“That’s too far from me,” Flypaper retorted from a different side of the tub.
Piper watche
d Kat as she gently peeled off her jeans and jacket until all that was left was a black bikini. She was a slender, yet shapely blonde who stole the attention of just about every male in the tub.
“I think I’ll just sit here,” she said as slid into the hot tub across from Flypaper, who smiled at her in a somewhat cheesy way.
“You’re looking as lovely as ever. We missed you today,” he said. “Texted you a few times to let you know where we were. Where were you?”
“Shopping. Thought I’d try to find a different pair of shoes for the wedding, but I didn’t have any luck.”
“You get my texts?”
“Yeah. That’s how I knew you were here.”
“Of course,” Flypaper beamed as he sat up straighter in the tub while simultaneously flexing his muscles. Piper noticed the clean-cut way that his thick dark hair was coiffed atop his head, and how his smile appeared to be brighter than ever. His Cheshire cat smile was probably one of his best assets. Yet when taken in context, it seemed analogous to the way a mother tiger licks her sickly cub, just before killing and eating it.
“May I be so bold as to come to your side of the tub to join you, beautiful lady?”
“No. Please don’t. Kat’s not falling for your scam, Flypaper,” Chase answered.
“Oh, Chase. Take it easy. Juan, feel free to join me. There’s plenty of room,” Kat responded with a smile.
Flypaper moved stealthily across the tub and shimmied himself next to Kat. He put his arm around her and said, “Together, we would make beautiful children.”
“Really? Children?” Chase hissed. “Come on, Flypaper. Spare us this insanity.”
Piper thought Flypaper was being silly, yet Kat didn’t seem to be complaining. She looked over at Chase, who was shaking his head as he glared at Flypaper.
Flypaper turned to Chase and gave him a very serious look. “Your sister is a gorgeous woman, like none I’ve ever seen before. Absolutely flawless.”
“Well, she’s selective, Flypaper,” Chase responded. “Flawless and selective.”
“Oh Chase, c’mon,” Kat said. “Juan and I are just having fun.” Then she whispered something into Flypaper’s ear, making them both smile.
“Ah, the wonders of a youthful love,” Clyde said. “I remember the days well when I first started courting Beverly. She was and still is such a delight to be around. To think it’s been almost thirty five years.”
“Clyde, Flypaper doesn’t court. He conquers,” Chase said as he pounded his hand on the concrete next to the tub.
Piper noticed that Flypaper and Kat were still whispering words into each other’s ears, seeming not to notice the conversations occurring around them. A short while later, they announced that they were going to go dancing before exiting the tub and heading into the lodge, ignoring Chase’s not-so-subtle warnings.
“Great. That’s just great. He could have gone after any other woman on the mountain, but instead he chose my twin sister. At my wedding of all places. What an insult!”
Cherie said, “Don’t worry Chase. Kat is a smart woman. Probably playing him. I mean, look. She ignored his texts all day.”
“That’s true. But she should have kept ignoring him,” he said.
“Why do you worry about your sister so much?” Clyde asked. “Juan seems like a nice enough chap.”
“Yeah, he’s nice alright. All the girls say that when he stops calling them or tells them that ‘something’s missing.’”
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If they hook up, you won’t need to worry about him dating her anymore. Right?”
“Yeah, right, Bob. Maybe I should tell her to knock boots with him now to get it over with….Not!” Chase grabbed his phone and texted something in a furious manner.
Piper giggled, guessing that Kat was on the receiving end of that text. He obviously loved her very much, perhaps proud of the way she was considered flawless to someone like Flypaper. He probably figured that if she hooked up with Flypaper, she would no longer be flawless, taking some of his own twin pride away.
Piper yawned. The excitement was gone and it was getting late. She turned to Nick and asked him whether he was ready to get out of the tub. She was ready. They needed to get some rest before the big wedding, which was just a day away. And the fireplace in the lodge was calling her name. She envisioned herself in front of the fireplace on the big couch, with her hot boyfriend by her side. Warm and fuzzy and super cuddly, she could see their love flourishing even more.
“Let’s head in,” Nick said.