Chapter 14
Grandfathers and Cuckoos
“Please, Piper. Spare us the nonsense. I believe in heaven too, but I don’t believe in the church. As long as I’m a good person, I’m sure that God will take me in,” her dad told her from his seat on a reclining chair in the family room of his house. The reclining chair appeared worn, though Piper knew that it was relatively new, suggesting it was the most popular seat in the room. A stack of newspapers sat on the floor by the chair, topped by a variety of business periodicals with the letter “R” penned on their covers. “R” represented those that Scott McCoy had read.
His new girlfriend Linda was seated on the leather couch next to him, quietly enjoying her glass of wine and mixed nuts as she watched the news on the television screen in the corner. She rarely said much when in the family’s presence for reasons Piper hadn’t yet identified.
Nick rarely said anything in the family’s presence either. He looked on and listened to what Piper’s dad was saying, but made no effort to comment, perhaps feeling it wasn’t his place to do so. He was in his father-in-law’s house where they had just spent time over a delicious turkey dinner. Something about Piper’s family kept Nick on the quiet side.
“Dad, you know you need to believe in Jesus to get into heaven.”
“Uh huh. I’m a good person, Piper. I don’t need to go to church or start talking about Jesus to get into heaven.”
Thinking she still had a chance to change her dad’s mind, she added, “Dad, I saw Jesus once in a dream. I looked into the heavens and saw a door open in the sky. There were a few people inside and I know that one of them was Jesus.”
“What did He look like?” Her dad said in a snarky sort of way with his eyebrows raised. “Did He have a beard?”
“Dad, that’s not nice. You’re not taking me seriously.”
“Oh, C’mon, Piper. So you had a dream. We all have dreams. Doesn’t mean anything.”
“You didn’t answer. Did He have a beard, Piper,” Sailor said as she reclined in her chair and giggled.
Piper kept a straight face, despite the giggling in the room. “I don’t remember exactly. I just remember light and figures.”
“Light and figures, huh. Probably after too much wine,” Sailor taunted, still chuckling. She was seated on the couch across from Piper with her husband, half empty wine glass in hand. Her children were playing together in a back room.
“I don’t drink, Sailor. You know that. And this stuff is serious. Remember when I was rescued from the rip current?”
“Still a lame-o with the wine, huh? That’s only a good thing when you’re pregnant.” She was focused on that part of Piper’s comment. Lifting her glass, she added, “Well, cheers to that. I’ll drink yours for you.” She took a long sip before adding, “Yeah, I remember your story about a demon in a closet and the rip current. You have a good imagination, Piper. You know, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It’s funny how you’re the only one with those kinds of experiences. Well, I take that back. That schizophrenic in the movie A Beautiful Mind saw things too.” Sailor took another sip of her wine before returning it to the coffee table in front of her. “I don’t believe in a god anymore. I guess you can call me an atheist.”
“I wasn’t imagining, Sailor, and it’s not schizophrenia. C’mon! I can’t believe you would say something so rude and inconsiderate. Maybe my eyes are open and yours are closed.” Piper recalled other dreams and experiences she had had, but decided to keep those quiet. There was no way she was going to ignite her family’s laughter once again. In fact, she made a note to keep any more dreams and experiences quiet.
“Whatever,” Sailor said in an exaggerated tone.
Piper glared at Sailor. Her own family wouldn’t listen to her. How could she think anyone else would?
When Jesus returned to Nazareth, few listened to Him, even those in His family.
She turned her attention to the decorations in the room, which helped her to clear some of the frustrations from her mind. The walls were covered in a variety of decorations, ranging from ocean artwork to 3-D framed Hummel dolls to hollowed out Easter eggs, which had been decorated decades before. The book case and end tables in the room featured other unusual trinkets, such as wooden ducks, statues of homeless men, German beer steins, and W.C. Fields statues. A kind interior decorator might call it an eclectic representation of several generations.
Piper thought about Sailor’s new claim to be an atheist. Maybe she was just bluffing. Maybe not. One never knew with Sailor. She liked to say radical things sometimes, just to push Piper’s buttons. And she knew that claiming to be an atheist would definitely push Piper’s buttons. Though her younger sister looked like her, their personalities couldn’t have been more different.
“What’s scary is that atheism is growing. I’ve been studying it,” Piper said. “It’s increased by ten percent since the 1940s in the United States and in other wealthy countries, it’s grown even more.”
“It’s the trend of the wealthy, the thinkers,” Sailor smirked, as if to be a member of either group. “Maybe it will fall out of fashion, like communism and Cuban cigars did.” She kicked her feet up on the coffee table in front of her and picked up her wine glass, pinkie finger extended.
“Or clear bottle Becks beers imported from the Bahamas,” her husband Rob added in his Jersey accent. “Everyone wanted the clear bottles back in the day. No one cares about that anymore. We’re back to drinking the green bottles. Or Buds.”
“I’m riding on the atheism bandwagon right now,” Sailor said. “Saves me a lot of time on Sunday mornings. Remember how we had to go to church when we were little? When Mom and Grandma were still alive? Ugh. What a waste of time!”
“I needed to keep your mom and my mom happy back then,” Scott McCoy interjected. “That’s why we went. And it was a nice family thing to do on a Sunday, before the priests started misbehaving.”
“Some of the priests, Scott,” Nick said, who had apparently lost his desire to stay out of the conversation. Piper knew he wouldn’t be able to resist saying something, even though they were in her dad’s house.
Go for it, Nick.
“Scott, if you found out that one of the dealers at the blackjack table you patronize was corrupt, would you stop gambling altogether?”
“Of course not, Nick. I’d just go to a different dealer or a different casino.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Nick said.
“Well, that’s my part-time job, Nick. It’s different from the church.”
“Scott made $6,000 last week,” Linda offered.
“Dad,” Piper added, “we have so much respect for you. I love the way you’ve been such a workaholic in life, always showing us the importance of a strong work ethic. I love the way you’ve always cherished what you called opportunities to go to work. You never said you had to go to work, but rather that you got to go to work, and I appreciate that. You’re just like your mom. And I love how you always said that you ‘work half days,’ which were twelve hour days, spending the other twelve hours either sleeping or reading the newspaper. You never needed much sleep, though. Maybe four hours? I also love what others would say is your insane level of optimism. The world could literally be crashing all around you with every possible calamity imagined, and you’d still say that ‘life is mah-velous.’”
Scott smiled. “That’s true. Life is mah-velous!”
“And I see that you still get four newspapers every day delivered to your door. Clearly, you’re keeping yourself updated on world events, unlike millions of other U.S. citizens. I think it’s fair to say you know everything about our world. You could probably list the names of all of the world’s major world leaders, the issues in their countries, and maybe even the state of affairs with respect to their political and economic systems. Don’t you wonder about the next life? Why don’t you invest any time in understanding what’s to come? I just don’t get it. We’re only traveling through this world on
our way to the next. This life is but a speck of sand in the eternal beach of heaven. Why aren’t you curious about that?”
“Piper, I never said I don’t wonder about the next life. Of course I do. We just don’t know anything about heaven. News reporters aren’t reporting on heaven. There isn’t any information on heaven out there.”
“I beg to differ. Information is replete in the Bible. Read just one book in the Bible, Dad. Matthew. Matthew has so many references to the ways the events in Jesus’ life corresponded to the predictions of the prophets of the Old Testament that you’ll be blindsided. Or read the Book of Acts. The ways the apostles risked their lives daily to spread Christianity is very inspiring.”
“Piper,” Linda started, “the Bible is old. Isn’t there anything newer you can recommend?”
“No. I’ve read tons of the newer stuff. Those books won’t be enough. They weren’t enough for me when I was searching for an answer. First you need the foundation and the framework, which is the Bible. Then you can add the bricks and drywall in those other books to build your faith. Dad, I’ll stop bugging you if you just read Matthew. I promise.”
“Why do I feel like the guy pestered by Sam I am in Dr. Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham” book? Piper, maybe I’ll read Matthew, if I have the time.”
“Thanks Dad. ‘Maybe’ is better than ‘no.’”
“So, have you read any other good books lately Scott? You know, other than Green Eggs and Ham?” Nick asked.
“Very funny. I read that book to Sailor’s kids.”
Sailor’s husband Rob burped as he stood up and walked into the kitchen. Maybe he was grabbing some turkey leftovers. Maybe he was getting a drink. Piper wasn’t sure. With his broad shoulders and thick frame, he had a strong appearance. The only hair on his head was what appeared to be a hairy chocolate donut affixed to the outside of his lips. He called it a goatee, but it hadn’t been trimmed in months. At this point, his goatee gave him the appearance of a man in a silent battle with some sort of a fuzzy, squirrelly creature that he wanted to consume, which was gripping his lips to save its life. Returning from the kitchen with a wine box in hand, he filled his wife’s glass to the rim. Then he asked Linda whether she wanted a refill but she declined. One glass was all she wanted. He headed back into the kitchen to put the wine box away.