“I was getting in a workout.”
The silence that followed told me his mother was probably giving him a look only a mother can give.
Glancing up, I saw the window.
Autumn laughed and asked, “Is Paislie working out with you this morning?”
Damn her. I thought she was on my side. I was going to smack her the next time I saw her.
I quickly looked around for something to use to get me closer to the window.
“As a matter of fact, she did.”
What is he doing? Oh God. I have to get out of here! Now!
“That would explain the locked door then, wouldn’t it,” Shirley said.
“Great,” I whispered. I had the feeling Malcolm’s mother didn’t like me for some reason. This was not going to help the situation any.
“Paislie! Where is she, Uncle Malcolm?”
“Going potty. Paislie! What are you doing?”
I fell back against the door. I was going to take his balls and twist them until he begged for mercy.
Glancing down at my coat, I opened it. “I can’t go out in this,” I mumbled under my breath.
I quickly opened doors and practically screamed when I saw some of Malcolm’s stuff. It was a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt. I kicked off my shoes, unclipped my garter belt and slipped the pants on. They were huge but oh well. The T-shirt practically swallowed me whole.
Shoes! Fuck! I don’t have any shoes.
“Paislie?” Malcolm called out as I balled my hands up, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
Please don’t make it look like I just had sex. Please.
With a smile, I walked out like I didn’t know they were there. “Oh, hey there, y’all. Did you come to join the yoga workout I had planned for Malcolm?”
Malcolm nearly choked on his own spit, which made me smile bigger.
Autumn did her best attempt at hiding her smile as she tilted her head and looked at me. “Don’t you look all cute dressed in . . . wait . . . are those Malcolm’s clothes?”
I’m officially defriending her.
I looked down and shrugged. “Yep.”
“Why are you dressed in Uncle Malcolm’s clothes?”
I peered over to Malcolm, silently begging him to help me out. He stood there with a goofy-ass smile on his face. Meanwhile, Sophie jumped around with excitement, Autumn hid her laugh under her hand and Shirley, well she stood there staring at me like I was the devil himself.
I never could lie. Ever. Even before I went to live at St. Patrick’s.
At this point I had nothing to lose. It was clear Malcolm couldn’t care less, Autumn thought it was a game and Malcolm’s mother clearly hated me, so what did I have to lose?
With a shrug, I said, “I couldn’t really work out in the lingerie Malcolm had bought for me, it would have been too cold.”
Autumn lost it laughing as Malcolm coughed while he grabbed my arm and dragged me across the room. I risked looking at Shirley. That was a mistake. She glared at me like I was trash that needed to be taken out.
“What in the hell, Paislie?”
I stood there with my mouth hung open as my body trembled in anger. “Are you serious right now? What did you want me to do? Lie? You put me in that spot, Malcolm.”
Glancing up, Autumn picked up Sophie and said something about getting ice cream from Clarisse. My eyes caught Shirley’s as I held my breath for a few seconds before turning back to Malcolm. “And by the way, why does your mother hate me so much?”
Malcolm pulled his head back in shock. “She doesn’t hate you,” he said in a low voice.
I pushed past him and made my way out of the room.
“Yoga lesson cancelled,” I said as I walked past Shirley. “Have a wonderful day today, Mrs. Wallace.”
The entire way back to my room I fought like hell to keep my tears at bay.
I was not liking this overly-emotionally Paislie at all.
Not one bit.
PAISLIE STORMED OUT OF THE gym and past my mother while she placed her hands on her hips and shot me a dirty look.
Lifting my hand, I shook my head. “Before you utter a word, Mom, I’m a grown man and Paislie is a grown woman. What we do in private is our business.”
“Malcolm, I don’t give a rats ass who you have sex with, from what I’ve read it happens often, but to do it in your own home with an employee of yours. And to top it off, you don’t really know what this Paislie girl wants from you. Let’s not mention how she probably found out about Casey and is using the fact she has similar looks to her advantage. She’s taking your money and having sex with you. That’s not right.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Stop it. Mom, just stop.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’m trying to protect you. Clearly you have a thing for her and I’m just saying you’re worth a lot of money and honestly, for her to come down to your gym in slutty underwear? Good lord, Malcolm what am I supposed to think about her now?”
“Mom! I bought it for her to wear and I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk about Paislie that way. You know nothing about her.”
“I know she’s living in your house and you’re paying her a ridiculous amount of money to be here, on top of paying her rent on her place in Dallas.”
I felt my heart drop. “How do you know that?”
She shrugged and said, “I asked Janet a few questions and she assumed I knew about your arrangement with Paislie. She might have told me a little more than she should have under the impression I knew.”
With a look of disappointment on my face, I turned away from my mother and stared out the window. It was then I saw Paislie walking to the barn. Her pace was fast, as if she needed to get as far away as possible. I longed to go after her.
With a deep breath in, I tried to make sense of what my mother was trying to do. “Mom, you don’t know anything about my personal life, and I find it extremely rude that you would go poking around asking Janet things about it.”
“I’m only looking out for you, Malcolm. Now, I think you should stop and think about this thing you have going on with Paislie. She’s not Casey and she’ll never be able to replace her.”
Spinning around, I felt my heart pounding in my chest. “Jesus Christ, will you drop the whole fucking Casey thing!”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Don’t you use that language with me, Malcolm.”
My hand pushed through my hair as I let out a frustrated moan. “Mom! I know she is not Casey. I’m not trying to find a replacement for her. I’ve spent the last I don’t know how many years trying to bury the guilt of her dying. Trying to forget the words she said to me before her life ended. I’ve been dead inside, not allowing myself to feel anything for anyone. And yes, what you read was true. I fucked around . . . a lot. But Paislie is different and I don’t know why you can’t believe that. She wants nothing from me. She’s had a hard life and made something of herself. Why can’t you believe that I’ve actually fallen in love with someone and it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with Casey? I never loved Casey the way I do Paislie.”
With a gasp, she walked up to me. “You . . . you love this girl?”
I hadn’t even realized I said I loved Paislie. And hell I said it twice. “I don’t know what I’m feeling. All I know is I want to be with her every second of the day. Her smile makes me smile. Her laugh calms me down and her strength is inspiring. She believes in me, Mom. She brought me back to life and I need her.”
Her eyes softened. “Oh, Malcolm. Sweetheart, I hadn’t realized how strongly you felt about her. I didn’t realize the two of you had grown so close. But do you know how she feels about you?”
“I hope the same.”
She chewed nervously on her lip. “What if she’s only after your money?”
“Mom, how could she be when I’m the one who pursued her?”
Her expression was one of surprise. “I see.”
I shook my head and started fo
r the door. “Mom, I love you, but you need to stay out of my business. I would also appreciate it if you apologized to Paislie. I’m not the only one who noticed the death stares you were giving her.”
She simply nodded her head. Turning, I decided to make my way to the barn . . . after I took a pain pill for my damn leg.
Walking into the barn, I took a quick look around and finally saw Paislie sitting on a bale of hay. Talking to a horse.
Okay. So she likes to talk to herself and horses. It was kind of cute.
She must have sensed me because she looked up. Her smile took my breath away. I couldn’t believe I had finally made her mine. The limp in my leg was obvious as I headed her way. She quickly stood and watched me walk toward her.
“How bad does it hurt?” she asked as her eyes landed on my leg.
With a shrug, I replied, “It’s fine. I’m more concerned about you.”
Her face lit up as a flush swept over her. “Me? I’m fine. Totally fine.”
I took another step as she took a step back, only to bump into the stall. “Really? You weren’t fine when you stormed out of the gym a little bit ago.”
She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. I already knew this was her defense mode. One she probably learned early on when she pretended everything was okay. “Well, it’s hard to stand there when your mother is shooting me daggers. If looks could kill I’d have fallen over.”
I let out a dry laugh. “I talked to her about that. She knows how I feel about you and how much you mean to me. I’m pretty sure she won’t be giving you that response again.”
Paislie swallowed hard. “H-how do you feel about me, Malcolm? What’s happening here, because I’m all kinds of confused. Earlier when we were together, I’ve never experienced those emotions before and I’m going to be honest with you, it scares the hell out of me. I don’t think . . . I mean . . . I know I couldn’t take it if you were to break my heart. Not you, Malcolm. You’re the only person I’ve let in since my father left me and . . . I just . . .”
Her chin trembled and for the first time I saw vulnerability there I had never seen before. I dropped the cane and cupped her face within in my hands. Our eyes searched one another’s face before her emerald eyes pierced my blue.
“Look into my eyes, Paislie. I’ve never felt like this about anyone.”
“No one?” she asked, almost as if she expected a different answer from me.
“No one. Do you have any idea of how you’ve made me go almost out of mind since the first time you bumped into me. My life has been turned upside down. You’re all I think about. You’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up, and the last thing when I fall asleep.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek as I used my thumb to wipe it away. “Paislie, please give me a chance to prove to you how much I’ve fallen for you.”
Her lips pressed together as she attempted to hold back a sob. She slowly shook her head. “What are you saying, Malcolm?”
I never in a million years thought I would be uttering the words I was about to say. “I’m falling in love with you, Paislie.”
Her breath expelled as she grabbed onto me to keep her balance. “Um . . . I um.”
I wrinkled my brow and said, “Damn . . . I was kind of hoping you would say the same thing back to me.”
More tears as she gave me the biggest grin I’d ever seen as she softly said, “I think I fell in love with you on my first date with Deuce. Something about the stars and that kiss.”
I couldn’t hold back my own smile as I pressed my lips to hers. The kiss started off slow and gentle. Our tongues dancing in a perfect rhythm as a low growl formed at the back of my throat.
Before things got out of hand, I took a step back. Both of us gasping for air as we stared at each other. “What are you doing to me?” I asked.
Her lips formed a wicked smile. “The same thing you’re doing to me apparently.”
My eyes glanced over to Black Jack. She had been talking to him when I walked in. “Black Jack here is an old friend of mine. First horse I ever bought.”
Her eyes filled with excitement. “How about we go for a ride?”
Wiggling my eyes, I said, “Okay! I’ll meet you in your room.”
She lightly hit me on the chest. “Stop! You know what I meant. Want to take a few horses out?”
My right hand hit my chest as I let out an exaggerated gasp. “You ride? If you say yes, I’m marrying you this very second.”
Paislie rolled her eyes and walked toward the tack room. “St. Patrick’s had a camp every summer I went to. I quickly found out horses made me happy. I forgot everything the moment I got on one. I love horses.”
Jesus . . . I just fell a little more for her.
“You can saddle ’em up?”
She glanced over her shoulder and shot me a dirty look. “Excuse me? You don’t think I’ve got a little bit of country in me, Mr. Wallace?”
With a crooked smile, I shook my head. “No. I don’t think you’ve got it in you, city girl.”
Her left eye narrowed as she thought for a moment. “What will you give me if I prove you wrong?”
“I’ll let you pick.”
Her mouth slightly opened and I was pretty sure I heard something in the form of a growl come from the back of her throat. “Have a seat, baby, while I show you what this city girl can do.”
A few minutes later Black Jack and Snowflake were both saddled and ready to go as Paislie stood before me with a look of satisfaction plastered across her face.
“Are you able to get up on him okay?” she asked with concern in her eyes.
I dropped the cane and used my good leg to mount Jack. He wasn’t used to me mounting from the other side and tried to take a few steps back, only to have Paislie instantly calm him down. She talked softly to him and I couldn’t believe how he seemed to be mesmerized by her voice.
“Even the damn horse likes you.”
She snickered as she got on Snowflake.
“Where to?”
I motioned for her to follow me as we took off down one of the trails that went all over the ranch. This one happened to lead to a small lake on the property. As we rode along the trail, we fell into an easy conversation. Paislie mentioned some ideas for therapy and I could really hear it in her voice the passion she had for her job.
“Will you answer something honestly, Paislie?”
“Of course I will. You know I’m all about honesty.”
My breathing picked up as I grew nervous about what her answer would be to my question. “Do you think I’ll ever race again?”
Our eyes met and I saw it before she ever answered me. “I’d say there is a fifty-fifty chance either way. I’ll push you as hard as I can, but you really need to mentally prepare yourself for not being cleared to race again.”
I knew it deep in my heart. I had no doubt Paislie would get me walking fine again, but I wasn’t sure about the pain that would occasionally shoot through my leg, or the numbness I felt. If my leg was bent very long, my knee went stiff and that was probably the most painful thing.
“What am I going to do if I can’t race?” I asked, not really expecting her to answer.
“Why couldn’t you do something other than drive? Like buy a car and be an owner, or do the thing where the guys talk on TV.” She looked up and scrunched her nose in the most adorable way. “What are they called . . . commentary dudes?”
With a roar of laughter, I shook my head. “Jesus, there is no way I could do that shit. I’m getting behind a wheel again. I need to be behind the wheel. I need to feel the rush. It’s the only thing I’ve ever known.”
We rode for a few minutes in silence before my knee started aching. “I guess we should turn around and head back.”
Paislie gave me a look. “Is your knee hurting?”
“Nope. Just not in the mood to ride I guess.”
I had no idea why I just lied to her. Or maybe I did. I needed to get back in a car.
TWO MONTHS HAD PASSED SINCE I first came to stay with Malcolm. His progress was beyond amazing. Everything was beyond amazing. I was to the point where I now slept in his bedroom each night. We would spend half the night making love and talking before we would pass out wrapped up in one another. I’d sneak out in the morning and make my way to my room for my morning wake up from Sophie. Neither Malcolm nor I wanted her to know I was sleeping in his bedroom every night. Autumn said we were being stupid and old fashioned.
The last few days Malcolm had been holding back in our therapy sessions. His frustration was growing and I could see it in his face.
I walked into the local gym and headed to the pool. The girl at the front desk lifted her hand as I waved back.
“Hey, Paislie!”
“Hi, Carrie. How are you?”
She smiled big. “Good.”
I wanted to like her, but the way she eye fucked Malcolm every time he walked by her drove me insane. He never looked twice at her, but I knew if given the chance, she’d be all over him.
Pushing the door open, the humidity hit me right in the face. “Ugh,” I mumbled. Malcolm was standing in the pool talking to the same woman he had been talking to on Tuesday. I tried not to let the jealousy take over as I said a quick prayer and made my way over to them.
When she threw her head back and laughed, I rolled my eyes. Malcolm clearly was enjoying the attention she was giving him.
I cleared my throat to get their attention. She glanced up and smiled as Malcolm flashed me that crooked grin of his. “Hey, baby. Guess what I did today?”
Lifting my eyes, I replied, “No telling.”
“Ran on the treadmill.”
My eyes widened. “What? You were supposed to do the bike, Malcolm. Not run. That’s too hard on your knee.”
His smile faded but returned when his personal cheerleader defended him. “Well, he did a great job! I could hardly keep up with him.” My eyes snapped over to her as I gave her a back-the-fuck-away-bitch look. Her smiled faded as she looked between Malcolm and me. “Listen, I’ll see you next time, right?”
When she placed her hand on his arm, he didn’t even flinch. “Okay, see ya later.”