What I would change is telling Vaughn. I would have told him sooner. The moment I realized things were serious between us.
Because keeping it from Vaughn is ultimately what caused me to lose him.
I guess my only excuse is, apart from my cowardice, that being with Vaughn felt like a fairy tale. Too good to be true. Especially for someone like me.
But it was real, and I’ve lost it. I’ve lost him.
And, even now, he still doesn’t know the whole truth. He left before I could tell him.
I felt trapped in that moment with Jack and Alex there. I couldn’t tell him the real reason I was married in front of them and risk putting myself in jail and having Nick deported.
So, I had to let him believe the worst. I had to watch him walk out the door and leave, thinking that I’d betrayed him in the worst way possible. Just like Cain had.
And, now, Vaughn is gone. Took the car from Aiden, and I don’t know where he is or how to reach him because his phone is still off.
But I do know one thing. I have to speak to him again. I have to tell him the whole story. Even if he doesn’t forgive me, he needs to know that I didn’t betray him in the way he thinks I did.
And that I’m sorry.
And that I love him.
Vaughn
I take the elevator straight down to the parking garage. If Aiden’s not there, then I’ll go out on the street and get a cab if I have to. I just need to get the fuck out of here.
When I exit the elevator, I see Aiden standing by the car, his cell phone pressed to his ear.
He looks up at my approach. “Jack wants to talk to you.” He holds the phone out to me.
I take the phone from him and disconnect the call. Then, I hand the phone back to him.
“Key,” I tell him.
He doesn’t seem surprised that I want to leave.
He knew. Everyone knew. Everyone, except for me. Yet again.
Vaughn West, the dumbest fuck on the planet.
God, the press must be laughing their asses off at me right now.
My hurt and anger burn even hotter. “Give me the fucking car key, Aiden.”
“Jack won’t like this.”
“I don’t give a fuck whether Jack likes it or not. And Jack doesn’t pay your wages. I do.”
Aiden hands me the key. I get in the car, slam the door shut, turn the engine on, and squeal out of there.
I hit the street. Not knowing where I’m going or what the hell to do with myself.
I can’t fucking believe this. She’s married. Married! All this time, and she never said a word. How could she do this to me?
I’m so fucking stupid. First, Cain and Piper. Now, Charly.
I must have Dumb Fuck written on my forehead.
I took her to my home. Introduced her to my family. I let her in my bed. I fell in love with her.
And, all that time, she was married.
“Fuck!” I slam my hand against the steering wheel. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
Breathing heavily, I grip the wheel tight with both hands, trying to get a handle on my emotions.
How could she look me in the face and lie to me like that? Was she fucking me and then climbing out of my bed and calling him up? Telling him she loved him?
Because she sure as fuck doesn’t love me.
Jesus.
I don’t even know who her husband is. But I’m guessing he knows about me by now.
The whole world probably fucking knows.
Embarrassment covers me like a dirty black cloak.
I can’t stay in Vegas. I need to get away. I need to go back home.
I turn the car in the direction of US-95, heading north to Oregon.
Once I’m on the highway, I turn on the radio.
“And, in entertainment news today, pictures are circulating of Hollywood sensation Vaughn West, who has been caught in an intimate moment with a married woman. The woman has been identified as Charlotte Michaels, a wardrobe assistant on the set of West’s current film, The Lament.”
I reach out to turn it off when the sound of her husband’s name stops me.
“Ms. Michael’s husband, Nick Sharp, an interior designer, resides in New York with her. They’ve been married for four years. When approached, Mr. Sharp wouldn’t comment on if he had any knowledge of the relationship between his wife and Vaughn West. We reached out to West’s publicist, but we have yet to hear back.
“And, in other news, Patrick Dean is back in rehab—”
I turn the station off.
Nick Sharp.
She told me that Nick was her gay roommate, whom she’d known since college. God, she’s a better fucking liar than me, and I get paid to do it for a living.
My head feels like it’s going to explode. I can’t think about it anymore.
I need music to fill my head, but Aiden doesn’t have any CDs in here. I turn the radio back on, search through until I find a heavy metal station, and turn it up loud.
Twelve hours and two gas stop breaks later, I’m finally driving into Keno.
It’s late. I’m tired. And my fucking head aches.
If I’m being honest, everything aches. My heart especially.
At the last rest stop, I decided to charge my phone, using the charger that Aiden had left in here.
I know Jack and Alex have been trying to call me. There are missed calls and countless messages from both of them.
There are missed calls and messages from Charly, too. But I won’t listen to them.
I don’t want to talk to anyone, and I especially don’t want to talk to her.
What does she need to talk to me about? I think everything that needed to be said was said back at the hotel.
But I should call Jack. I know he’ll be worried about me.
I press Call on his number and wait for it to connect.
He answers on the first ring, “Where the hell are you?”
“I’m fine. I just need some time alone.”
I don’t tell him I’m home. Even though Jack’s never been here, I know he’d come charging down here and get me to go back to Vegas. And, right now, that’s the last place I want to be.
“You need to get your ass back here. I’ve got the press on the phone nonstop. Brandon’s freaking out. You’re supposed to be back on set tomorrow.”
I sigh. “Tell Brandon I’m sorry. And that I’ll call him soon.”
“You’re sorry? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I won’t be there tomorrow, Jack.”
“You can’t just run out on a film, Vaughn. You’re committed to this. You signed a contract.”
“I know. I just need a few days.”
“The delay will cost millions, Vaughn. Brandon could sue.”
“So, let him sue me. Or ask him to just give me two days, and then I’ll be back.”
“He won’t like it.”
“I know. But he doesn’t have a choice.”
There’s a pause.
Then, Jacks says, “Stupid question, but how are you doing?”
I laugh humorlessly. “I’ve had better days.”
“She’s gone,” he tells me in a lowered voice. “Left not long after you did.”
I want to ask if he knows where she was going. But part of me already knows. She’s going back to him. Her husband.
“You should’ve told me—about you and her. I could’ve done a background—”
“Not now, Jack, okay?”
“Okay.” He sighs. “So, I’ll see you in a few days?”
“You will.” I disconnect the call and turn my phone off.
I take the turn onto my parents’ farm. Driving up the track, I see the lights are still on at their house. Then, I look at my house off in the distance.
The last time I was there, I was with her.
I turn off to my parents’ house and park out front there. I can’t stay in my house tonight.
My mom comes out the front door just as I climb out of
the car.
“Hey, baby,” she says, a sad smile on her face.
“Hi, Mom.”
I walk over to her, and she wraps her arms around me, hugging me.
“It’s going to be okay,” she tells me.
“I know,” I say, but I don’t believe it.
Because nothing about this feels like it’s ever going to be okay.
I thought what I felt after Cain betrayed me was bad. But this, with Charly…it’s a million times more painful.
Charly
“I’m so, so sorry,” I tell Nick on the phone.
“Charly, it’s not your fault.”
It is. It’s all my fault. But I don’t bother arguing with him. I know Nick will never see the bad in me. Just like I never would in him.
After Vaughn walked out on me, I was left there in his hotel suite with Jack and Alex. Uncomfortable didn’t even cut it. So, I walked out without a word to either of them and came to my hotel.
The room was too silent, so I made the stupid mistake of putting the TV on. The first thing that came on was E! News, and the presenters were discussing Vaughn and me. The moment I heard the word cheater, I switched it off and rang Nick.
“Are they still out there?” I ask.
“The press? Yeah, there’s a bunch of them hanging around the front of our building.”
I cover my face with my hand. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“It’s gonna be fine, gorgeous.”
“No, it’s not!” I cry. “The whole world thinks I’m a cheating whore. The press is camped outside our building, hounding you. And Vaughn hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“You didn’t see the way he looked at me right before he left.”
“You’re impossible to hate.”
“Stop trying to make me feel better.”
“You want me to make you feel worse? Homewrecker. Is that better?”
“A little.” I sigh. “What are we going to do, Nick?”
“Right now, we are going to do nothing.”
“But what about immigration? They’ll know what’s happened with Vaughn. Everyone knows.”
“I’m a US resident now, Charly. As far as immigration is concerned, you had an affair. Even if we get divorced, it won’t change anything to do with my residency. We only stayed married to make it seem real. You having an affair seems real enough.” He chuckles.
“Not funny.”
“Sorry.”
I let out a sad sigh, picking at the hem of my top. “He’s never going to forgive me.”
“Vaughn? He will when you tell him the truth.”
“I was going to. I just didn’t get the chance.”
“You should have talked to me, Charly. Told me how serious it was getting between the two of you. I would have encouraged you to tell him about you and me. We could have started the divorce proceedings.”
“I know. I fucked up. Big time. I’m sorry.” I feel like that’s all I’ve been saying. “I should have discussed it with you first before considering telling Vaughn. But the decision was taken out of my hands.”
“Do you trust Vaughn?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
“Then, I trust him, too. Go see him, and tell him everything. He’s gotta be hurting a hell of a lot right now. The very least he deserves is to know that what the press is saying isn’t exactly the truth.”
“But I don’t know where he is, Nick. He left hours ago, and he hasn’t been back since. Alex says he doesn’t know where he is, that he can’t get ahold of him. Not that he would tell me even if he did know where he was.”
“I’m guessing he wants to be alone right now. Do you know of any places where he would go to do that?”
I don’t even need to think about it. “He’d go home.”
God, his family. What must they think of me? They’re going to hate me for what I’ve done to him.
The thought makes my heart break just that little bit more.
“So, go there. Talk to him.”
“What if he won’t listen to me?”
“Then, make him listen. You can be pretty persuasive when you want to be.”
“And you’ll be okay there with the press?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too, gorgeous. Now, go get your man.”
I hang up with Nick and look up flights to Oregon. There’s one leaving in three hours. There are no direct flights. I’ll have to fly from Vegas to Portland. Then, from Portland to Klamath Falls. It’ll take five hours to get there. There’s no private jet to get me there in two hours now. And the ticket is nearly four hundred dollars. But it’s worth it. Even if I just get to see him one last time.
Using my credit card, I book the ticket.
I quickly pack my things into my case, and then I call down to the front desk and ask them to call me a cab, for it to pick me up outside the parking garage. I don’t want to risk running into any press outside the hotel.
Before I leave my hotel room, I fire off a quick text to Ava, telling her that I’m leaving and that I’m sorry and I’ll call her soon. I’m too chickenshit to call her right now.
I drop my phone in my bag and let myself out of the room.
I manage to make it to the lobby. I drop my key into the quick checkout box. The studio is paying for my room, so the hotel will just invoice them.
I take the elevator down to the parking garage. I walk up to the car entry and slip out under the barrier. Then, I wait by the wall for my cab.
It appears a few minutes later. The cabbie gets out and puts my case in the trunk.
“The airport,” I tell him as I climb into the backseat.
I hear my phone beep a text.
My heart races. I wonder if it could be Vaughn, but I know it won’t be.
It’s Ava.
Ava: Don’t worry. I understand. Just call me as soon as you can. Let me know you’re okay. Love ya. xx
In that moment, my heart swells. She didn’t even try to question me about Vaughn. She just cares that I’m okay.
Maybe I do have more good friends than I realized.
Eight hours later, five of them spent on two different planes, and I’m back in Klamath Falls Airport where I flew out of a day ago with Vaughn.
I can’t believe how much has changed in twenty-four hours.
I head outside to the taxi area and toward a waiting cab.
Then, I realize that I don’t actually know Vaughn’s address. Shit.
“Where to, love?” he asks me through the open window.
“Keno. About a mile past the elementary school. I’ll know it when I get there.”
“Okay,” he says. “You want your case in the trunk?”
“Please.”
He gets out of the car and takes my case from me. I climb into the backseat and put my seat belt on.
He gets back in the car, and then we’re moving.
I sit on my hands and try to pretend that they aren’t shaking and that my heart isn’t racing.
Twenty minutes later, the cabbie is driving past the elementary school. I recognize the upcoming turn.
“Left here,” I tell the cabbie.
He takes the turn and starts to drive down the driveway toward the farm.
“Keep going past the first house,” I tell him.
He drives past Vaughn’s parents’ house and then up to Vaughn’s house.
“Nice place,” he comments.
I pay him the fare and climb out. “I’ll get my case; don’t worry,” I tell him.
I lug my case from the trunk, and the cab pulls away.
I stare up at Vaughn’s house.
You can do this, Charly.
I take a deep breath. Legs trembling, I pull my case up onto the porch and knock on his door.
It’s silent. There’s no movement.
I knock again louder and wait.
After a few minutes, I finally accept that he’s not here.
Shit.
What do I do?
I came all this way, thinking he’d be here, that I hadn’t even considered that he wouldn’t be.
I can go to his parents’, but honestly, I’m afraid to face them. What they must think of me.
I can wait here, but if he doesn’t come, then I’m stuck.
Fuck. I didn’t think this through at all.
A lump thickens in my throat. And I feel like I might cry. Only I can’t fucking cry. Not even yesterday when I had to tell Vaughn that I was married. My eyes welled with tears, but they never fell.
I’m broken.
I’m a screwed up, broken, fucking idiotic twathole of a person.
And I’m staring at his front door like it’s somehow going to magically open.
I turn around, unsure of what to do, and then all thoughts fall from my mind. Because he’s standing there at the front of his driveway, staring at me.
He looks beautiful. Tired but beautiful. My heart actually starts to ache from his nearness. My hands itch to touch him.
“What are you doing here?” he says in a low, hard voice.
I take a strengthening breath in. “I need to talk to you.”
“I already told you back in Vegas that I heard all I needed to. Shouldn’t you be in New York right now? I think you owe your husband a bigger explanation than you do with me. You did promise to honor him and not screw around behind his back.”
“I’ve already spoken to Nick. And I wasn’t screwing around behind his back.”
“You’re married! And you were screwing me! Most people would call that cheating, Charly. Decent people at least.”
Okay, so that hurt. But it’s nothing I don’t deserve.
“You don’t know everything.” I take a step forward.
He takes one back. “And I don’t want to. We’re done here.”
He turns to walk away from me.
“We’re nowhere near done!” I yell. “I came all the way here, and you will listen to what I have to tell you!”
“The hell I will!” He turns back to me. “I don’t have to listen to anything you have to say! You lied to me! Jesus! You even told me about Nick, that he was your gay roommate, and all along, he was your fucking husband! How fucking warped is your mind?”