“And what did you decide?”
I tilt my head back far enough to finally look Kaden in the eyes. “I want him alive…I want to see the panic on his face as I crush him under my heel.” I sniffle. “Then I’ll rip his heart from his chest.” I turn in to Kade, clenching his shirt in my fists. “Promise you’ll leave him for me.”
His dark, angry eyes scan over my face. His jaw ticks, his teeth gritting together. His black stare flicks between mine and with a hard swallow, he presses his lips to my forehead. “He’s yours.”
Chapter Eighteen
Kade
A cool breeze blew, but it wasn’t enough to ease the angry, prickling heat that crept over his skin. He was mad at himself and furious at Vince. He was even frustrated at her for not staying in bed—not that he’d ever mention it. A sharp pang of guilt washed over him, making him grimace. If he hadn’t left…if he ignored the letter…Vince wouldn’t have had the chance to hurt her.
How could I be so stupid? Falling for a fake letter?
Chewing the tip of an apple stem, Kade dragged his stare from the fence in the distance to his wife, who grazed her palm across the tops of the grass. On occasion, she’d lift her gaze from the ground and watch him instead. He felt her concern, her worry. It emanated from her small body in intense waves. How could he fail her? First day as a married couple and he let her down. A swirling feeling manifested in the pit of his stomach. He hadn’t felt it in a while. The last time he did…Kade swallowed hard, tossing the apple stem away.
The feeling he felt only came about when he knew he’d failed someone. He felt it all the time growing up with Vince. Kade was often punished for being weak, leaving Vince to finish the appalling task, whatever it was. His father thought the shed was punishment enough, but it wasn’t the shed that broke him. It was coming out and seeing a piece of his brother’s soul die each time. How quickly his innocence turned to insolence. His love to rage. By the time Vince was fifteen his humanity was gone, swallowed up by the abyss of privilege, hate, and prejudice.
And it was all my fault…
“Are you thinking about it?”
He jolted back to the present, banishing his childhood trauma to the back of his mind. Her face was close to his, the tips of their noses almost touching. Kade drowned in her swimming eyes, allowing himself to feel the remorse that beat against his chest.
“I’m sorry…” he muttered, unable to choke back his own emotion.
Tears wet his eyes and dampened his eyelashes. He tried to look away from her, but she grabbed his face in her slender hands and held him in place.
“It’s not your fault.”
He scoffed, pulling his face from her hands. “Isn’t it? Maybe not directly, but you follow the string back far enough and you’ll find it tied to me.”
“Kaden…” she whispered, touching his hand. “The string attached to you is tangled with others. You aren’t at fault here.”
Anna shifted on the red rug he laid down specifically for their simple picnic. She tucked her long, slender legs underneath herself and tapped her thighs. He frowned. Sleep? There was no way his brain would power down long enough for him to get some rest.
He started to shake his head when Anna tilted her head to the side, her face mimicking the hurt she felt deep down.
“Please…”
How could he say no to her? How could he turn down her invitation to rest against her legs when she seemed so desperate? He decided he would lie down, but he wouldn’t sleep. Turning around, Kade slowly lowered himself onto his back. Anna guided his head into her lap and stroked his hair once he was comfortable. He glanced up at the thick, healthy branches of the tree. He couldn’t remember the last time he relaxed under a tree—or if he even did at all. It was…serene.
Much to his surprise, Anna began to hum a light, lovely tune. It wasn’t a song he’d heard before and as it floated into his ears, it ripped him open from the inside out, exposing all of his nerves and all of his emotions. How could a single hum be so moving?
“The song,” he interrupted, stopping her hum. “Where’d you hear it?”
Anna toyed with his hair, twisting strands between her fingers. “It’s the hymn they hum to the babies and young children in the camps. There are no words…just the melody.”
“Does it have a title?”
She hums in thought. “No. I suppose it doesn’t.”
“It’s beautiful.” Kade closed his eyes.
She continued to hum. He wasn’t lying when he said it was beautiful. His ears had never received such a spectacular sound. It was solemn, heartbreaking, and uplifting all at once.
Much to Kaden’s dismay, he found himself drifting into his own head, falling farther from reality and farther into dreamland. He didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to keep his eyes on his wife twenty-four seven, but the lower she hummed, the deeper he fell. Before he completely dropped off the edge into the abyss of his mind, he saw Vince. Kade flinched at his smile.
How could he do it?
Chapter Nineteen
Anna
(Four Days Later)
“Anna?”
“Hm?” I snap my head to the side, pulling my attention from the darkening line of trees on the horizon to Portia, who stands at the wardrobe holding up two dresses.
I no longer go by Nine and that’s going to take some getting used to.
“I said the blue dress will match your skin tone.” Portia holds the blue, single shoulder dress higher than the red one. “And it has gold adornments to match your wedding ring.”
I glance down at my hand. Anna Sario. I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that. John verified our wedding without protest.
To be honest, I don’t want to get dressed. I don’t want to plaster on a fake smile and pretend that everything is okay. It’s not. I want to stay in bed. I want to watch the fire and keep on learning how to shoot a gun. Unfortunately, Kade and Oliver have taken it upon themselves to hold a Secret Ribbon meeting here tonight right under the nose of the people we’re going to gun down in the name of equality. They think it’s clever. I think it’s stupid.
As far as I know, most of the team are downstairs in the gentleman’s lounge playing a game of Empire, the popular Fortunate board game for the men that become uninterested in the gossip their wives drivel. The Unfortunates serving the Fortunates in the room are all a part of the Ribbon. Those who are left out of the gathering will be briefed by attending Unfortunates afterwards. It’s not fail-proof but it the best we can do on short notice. Kade hasn’t had the time to develop his communications system. He’s too busy following me around and avoiding Vince like the plague. I don’t blame him. The very thought of Vince sends him into a fit of rage that seems to be getting worse by the day.
I smile at Portia, who returns it, exposing her white teeth. A few days ago, Kade told her all about the Secret Ribbon. At first she was hesitant, thinking we were trying to set her up for something. When she realised we were serious, she could barely contain her excitement. The way her golden eyes lit up like the sun and her plump lips curved into a breathtaking smile warmed my heart. Like me, she had simple dreams. She was looking forward to having a nap in the middle of the day and lying under the hot sun. She wanted to run and jump and swim and climb. Like an excited child, she clasped her hands in front of her chest and swore that she’d help us no matter what. Just like that she became our right hand lady. Kade and I trust her more than we trust anyone besides each other.
“The red dress is yours,” I tell her. “When we win, we’re coming back for it.”
She beams. “I want it in every colour.”
Chuckling, I cross the room in my long white nighty and I lock the door. Kade had to go downstairs to see John and Oliver. Not wanting to leave me by myself, he sent Portia to watch over me. It was such a relief to be with another female—one who understood me too. No one gets me like Portia does. We are cut from the same cloth, moulded by the same clay.
I meander o
ver to Portia and take the dresses off her hands. Without a care, I toss them onto the arm chair. “You can’t ruffle those. The fabric is—”
“Don’t worry about it.” I nudge her toward the white lounge. “Sit down, Portia. Relax.”
Digging her heels in, she shakes her head.
“I know it’s difficult.” I grab her shoulders and walk her to the lounge. Under my palms, her shoulders coil tightly. “But sit for a little while and talk to me about something meaningless, something that doesn’t require me to think.”
“Anna, I don’t know. I have to…”
“We’re inciting a war,” I say, easing her onto the couch. “Who knows when we’ll have the chance to sit like this again?”
Portia smooths her hands over her thighs, covering them with her tunic. She casts a cautious, fleeting look at the door. “You’re sure you locked it?”
I sit beside her. “Absolutely. We’re safe here.”
I reach for the jug of ice water and pour us each a glass. To my delight, she takes the glass without protest when I offer it to her and finishes it in one large gulp.
“It must be nice…” she mutters, glances down at the rug. “Having all of this.”
I follow her stare. None of it is mine. None of it makes me happy or adds value to my life. This house could burn to the ground and it’d make no difference to me. I’m not emotionally invested in physical belongings.
“It is nice…but it isn’t me. It’s not what I want.”
Her stare meets mine. “What do you want?”
I shrug. I want what we all want. “Freedom. Happiness. To share my things with a friend without having to hide behind locked doors.”
“Happiness…” She swallows hard. “It always feels just out of reach, doesn’t it?”
“It does.” I drop my attention to my hand, to my ring finger specifically. “There are a lot of outside factors that come into play, I suppose.”
Sighing, I clasp my hands together and rest them on my thighs.
“Can I ask you something? And please, tell me no if it’s too much. I don’t want to put you in an awkward situation—”
“What is it?”
“I want to stay here…in this house. I don’t want to go back to the Sario manor. Kade is rarely there anymore and I can’t stomach serving Vince and his disgusting pack of animals.”
“Of course, absolutely. I will have Kaden and John transfer you here immediately.” My stomach turned. “Vince hasn’t…? He doesn’t…?”
Portia grimaces, pinching her pretty face into a sour pout. “I’ve known Vincent Sario since he was a boy. He sees me more as a parental figure than a sexual conquest, thank God.”
I can’t imagine Vince being above hurting Portia because of a childhood attachment. If Vince knew just how much Portia meant to Kade or me…I don’t even want to think about it.
“Good. Good.” I stare at my ring once again. “I’ll have Kade get you out of there tonight.”
Just to be safe.
Portia extends her hand and I slip mine into hers. Her hands are tough around the edges, but soft in the middle. Much like her.
“It really is a beautiful ring.” She drags her nail-bitten thumb across it. “How did you know…that you were in love?”
I frown. How did I know? I have no clue. When I think back to my life as an Unfortunate with Kade, I feel I loved him from the moment I saw him sitting at his desk, pouring over forms and maps. He didn’t care for me as his father announced my arrival…
…until he lifted his stare.
I remember it well. The hair on my skin came alive and danced with vigour as his gaze swept over me. I piqued his interest though he fought hard to act indifferent. He was terrifying. Terrifyingly perfect. My heart and my brain mightn’t have loved him then, but my soul did.
“When the thought of being without him caused me physical pain,” I tell her and watch as her stomach visibly turns on her face.
She releases my hand. Uh-oh. I know that look. It’s the look of a girl who is in love with someone she shouldn’t be. Excitement burned in my veins at the thought of her being in love.
“Who is he?” I ask, my voice a hushed whisper.
Portia shakes her head. “I’m not sure I should…I promised him I wouldn’t.”
“I’m leading a rebellion. If there’s anyone you can trust wholeheartedly, it’s me.”
She leans in, her lips curling mischievously. “We met at Master Kade’s birthday party. He was walking into the pantry as I was coming out of it. I kicked the door open and it smashed into his face.”
I gasp.
“I was mortified. Frozen still.” She presses her fingers to her chest. “Blood poured out of his nose and dripped onto his white shirt. I was too terrified to make a move and help him. I thought I was a goner.”
I listen, wide-eyed. “And what happened?”
Her pretty, dark pink lips twitched at the corners. “He looked at me and he said hi.”
I blink. “Hi? That’s it?”
She nods, her eyes glistening with happiness at the memory. “I was so overwhelmed that I ran for a towel, only to slip in his blood. I swore and snatched his shirt in my fist. He grabbed me around the waist as I fell and I pulled him down too. It was such a mess.”
I chuckle, despite the clusterfuck of epic proportions that could have been.
“We see each other a lot now that Master Michael is gone, Master Vince busy, and Master Kade is out of the house.” She beams. “With Oliver, I finally feel like I have purpose. I wake up in the morning and I’m excited because I never know when he’s going to show up or when we’re going to cross paths. I just…I want nothing more than to be with him. I want what you and Master Kade have. I want something that means something, you know?”
Blinking, I frown. Did she say Oliver? Oliver as in Kathryn’s nephew? My cousin? Are they…together? Is it she who he sneaks out to meet? Is it she who motivates him to change the world?
“Anna?”
Exhilaration zips up my spine and I can barely contain it. “Did you say Oliver?”
Her eyes widen. “No.”
“You did!” I whisper, clasping my hands over my mouth. “What a scandal!”
Portia grabs my wrists and pulls me close. “You can’t say a word, Anna, please. Especially not to Master Kade. Oliver can’t stand him.”
I drop my hands. Who am I going to tell? “Of course I won’t say anything.”
Portia exhales in relief, smoothing her hands over her thighs. “We’ve spent too much time talking nonsense,” she announces, pushing herself to her feet. “Let’s get you into your dress. I’ll tidy your room while you’re gone. Then I’ll have to go back to the Sario house and prepare breakfast for tomorrow morning.”
She grabs my dress and lowers the zipper. Reaching out, I free it from her hands. “I’m sure I can clothe myself.” I laugh, opening the dress.
Portia chuckles as I step into it and pull it up my body. The dress’s cool, soft chiffon fabrics kiss my skin. As I adjust the fabric around my breasts, Portia gathers the cups off of the coffee table.
“Skip on cleaning my room,” I tell her, bending low. “I can do that myself.”
I pull the glasses from her hands and set them back down.
“Okay.” She nods, but I see her as she nervously scans the room. She’s going to tidy it anyway.
“Can you do me up, please?” I turn around my pull my hair out of the way.
Portia helps me zip up the dress and straighten the single strap on my shoulder.
“I’m sure Oliver will fill you in on tonight’s discussion. If he doesn’t, come see me in the morning and we can talk.” I brush my hair out of my face and flick it over my shoulder. “Do you want me to ask Kade to walk you back?”
She shakes her head. “No. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” I saunter over to the door and unlock it, forgoing the shoes.
Without a glance over my shoulder, I exit the room only to pause b
efore closing it as a bad feeling twists its way through my stomach. Turning, I lean into the room and say, “Get home safe, all right?”
Portia nods. “I will.”
I pull the door shut and whirl on my heel.
“Ugh,” I grunt as I slam into a hard body. I touch his forearm. “Excuse me. I’m so sor—”
I lift my head and jolt at the sight of his soulless, black eyes. Gasping, I snap away from him, squeezing myself against my hard, bedroom door.
“Going to the party?” Vince grins wryly. “I’ll walk with you.”
My hands tremble, increasing in ferocity the longer he looks at me. I squeeze them into balls at my sides. He doesn’t scare you. He can’t touch you.
“No, thank you.” I sidestep and push off the door. “You shouldn’t be up here. Guests aren’t allowed on the second floor.”
My head spins as I march as fast as I can toward the staircase. Anxiety runs rampant in my chest and I’m a shoestring away from succumbing to it.
“Where are your shoes, Unfortunate?”
I slip my hand onto the bannister and patter down the stairs with Vince hot on my heels. “None of your business.”
As I push off the last step and onto the foyer littered with mingling Fortunates, Vince snags my elbow in his hand. Growling, I snatch my arm free and whirl around, catching him off guard.
“You have some nerve,” I snap at him, attracting the attention of nearby Fortunates. “If Kade sees you anywhere near me he’s going to kill you.”
Vince’s eyebrows shoot up, his dark eyes dancing with delight. “You told him?”
What kind of question is that? “Of course I told him.”
“Funny. He hasn’t said anything to me.” He taps his palms along his chest, feigning shock. “Isn’t that a bitter backfire? I’m still alive.”
I scoff and push forward, making my way to the double door on the left side of the manor. “You’re only alive because I begged him to spare you.”
He falls into step beside me. “Spare me? Why on earth would you do that? Enjoy it, did you?”