FOUR
I pretend nothing is wrong; like I had glanced behind me simply to see who was around. Turning back toward the pond, I take a deep, invigorating breath and pull my knees to my chest. Maybe if I look down and really focus on my feet and nothing else, he won’t sense my fear. But I can’t not say something, unfortunately.
“Hey Andrew. How ya doin’?”
“Eh. I’m all right, I suppose. It’s pretty nice out here tonight.”
Examining the smudge my flip-flops made on my toenail—I never can wait until the polish is dry—I move my gaze and run my index finger over the simple star tattoo near the little toe on my right foot. I love this tattoo. But it’s not enough to completely distract me.
Silently, I am willing Andrew to go away, but instead I speak again.
“So where is everyone? Are we alone out here?”
“Yep. We’re alone. They all went in to watch home movies from some of the football games. Stuff’s pretty funny, actually.”
“Huh, well I was just about to get up and go watch a movie with Olivia and some others. Are you gonna join us, or…” I really don’t feel like inviting him, so I trail off. He should get the hint.
“Nah, I’m just gonna stay out here for a bit and enjoy the view. Just like you’ve been doing.” His tone implies he knows darned well that isn’t all I’ve been doing. But I don’t much care. It’s my cue to get away and figure it all out.
Or not. My day started out rather simply. Simple in my world, at least—even with the fighting. But now, I haven’t a clue what my world even consists of.
I make up my mind—I’m going to attempt to rid myself of these strange problems, at least for the night. And, with that, I get up and walk back into the house to join the drunken idiots, hoping they’ll distract me until I pass out.