NINE
As we make our way to the edge of the lake, I follow the goddess away from the beach to a spot across the water where a blanket has been laid out as part of the preparations for the ceremony.
Everything is meticulously placed. There are some herbs, a few bottles of different colored liquids, and food and drink of some sort. Nothing looks familiar to me.
No one else is around that I can tell. I suppose this is going to be something just between Covetina and myself. Not that I mind. Having the goddess devote time solely to me, well, that isn’t something to complain about.
Covetina motions for me to walk up to the water, in front of the blanket. Of course I obey. I kneel down, not exactly knowing why. It just feels like the right thing to do. Obviously it is, as Covetina appears beside me and places her elegant hand on top of my head.
She begins speaking in a soothing tongue I don’t recognize. A soft, sweet language. No harsh tones in any of the words. I think it must be Celtic, based on the saying I was greeted with.
The goddess’ liquid voice begins to put me into a type of trance. It is odd because I feel a bit detached since it is all so surreal, yet at the same time I am growing even more aware of everything around me.
I see the lights of tiny creatures in the bushes coming out to watch. Or at least that’s what I imagine they’re doing.
A few frogs (which I understand are not frogs as I have always known them) hop around silently. Nothing around us makes the slightest sound. A hush has fallen over this land to allow Covetina no interruptions.
This makes me feel even more special. And I know now that I am. The feeling is growing inside of me. I believe I am meant for something great. The importance of my existence is now a vague truth to me.
For someone to be treated in such a manner, well, I know he or she must certainly deserve it. And, as luck would have it, I am that special being right now.
Covetina starts speaking English, and directs her words at me along with a piercing gaze. “My dear, would you mind putting on something all white? Maybe a gauze shift, or something of the sort.”
I stammer out, “Well, I—I would love to be able to, but I don’t have any other clothes with me.” I feel like a young child being scolded for not having done her homework.
“It does not matter, sweetheart. You are in charge here. This is your home, and you can make parts of it how you like. You have the power to change things at your will.”
“I do? How?” I feel Covetina’s fingers brush ever so softly through my hair, all the way from my forehead to the ends. The goddess pulls my hair away from my head and lets it fall back down into place. I know I have experienced this before, but can’t quite place it.
“All you have to do is imagine. Decide what you want, and it will be done. Of course, this only applies to your physical appearance. You cannot easily change the world around you. That is Mother Nature’s place. She designs the world how she sees fit.”
“So, I just think about a white dress, and I’ll be wearing one? Sounds a little too simple, but I suppose I’ll try it,” I say with a shrug. “What have I got to lose, right?”
I close my eyes and imagine my jeans and t-shirt slowly fading into nothing. I think I feel they are disappearing but I can’t be sure. I open one eye to check and see I am still wearing my regular clothes. But it is only my first try. I am not about to give up.
My next attempt results in the same thing (or nothing) as the first. I glance at Covetina but she is smiling and sitting patiently. Knowing there is no rush lifts the pressure off of me as I try a third time. This time I don’t peek to see if anything has changed. I suppress a smile when a soft breeze comes by and I can feel it against my bare back. The fact that my clothes are off enters my mind but it doesn’t bother me one bit, which is odd for me. I simply move on with what I was asked to do.
I picture a soft, light dress—one I think should be just right for this occasion. It is one shouldered with an empire waist. Down from that point, the material has many thin pieces which fall in layers, covering my legs just past my knees.
Cautiously, I open my eyes again and look down. I am wearing a dress—which I already know since I can feel the soft material—and it is exactly as perfect as I pictured.
“Wow, that’s awesome… Nice trick to have handy!”
Now I am impatient. I want to learn even more.
Covetina begins to explain the baptism in great detail. It is an important spiritual ceremony that holds great powers. I learn that water is the symbol of the womb and creation, and it also represents time and change.
This ritual will allow the etheric web to be loosened around my physical body so I will be open and available to true spiritual sight.
Even when I cross back over to the human realm, I will be able to see the true light of the world. I will learn how to straddle both dimensions, and will see both as they really are. Fae hiding in the human world will be visible to me from now on.
I am about to be ‘twice-born’ by a regenerating force. Re-initiated into the world I am originally from. I cannot begin to comprehend how excited I am.
Covetina guides me back to my feet and gracefully picks me up, cradling me in her arms. Slowly, the goddess walks into the water, holding me at her waist.
After a few steps, I feel the warm, silky water graze my back and feet. It is marvelous. I feel safe, as though I am a child again, or even inside my mother’s womb still.
Covetina tips my head back, wetting my hair, and a sweet, gentle jolt of electricity shoots through my skull. It isn’t the scary kind of jolt one gets when accidentally touching a frayed, live wire, but more along the lines of a startling awareness. At the strangest of times, Donovan’s friend, Sloane, enters my mind. The shock I felt with him was similar and I wonder what that means about him. But as fast as he appeared in my thoughts, he is gone in the same amount of time, leaving me fully with the goddess.
The buzzing, electric feeling runs through my body. Upon leaving my head, it trails to my neck and spreads across my shoulders, and then down through my limbs. It is the strongest as it caresses my heart; as mighty as a loving bear hug. From there, it follows my length down to my toes, which are just barely out of the water.
Covetina speaks a few more words in the language I didn’t recognize earlier and it feels like as soon as it all began, it is over.
The goddess lifts me up to a standing position and leans forward to place a kiss on my forehead. It almost burns and I wonder if there will be a mark like when my mother kissed my wrist.
Which reminds me… I lift up my arm and see that the beautiful, circular cross is slowly fading. I have to find a way to make it permanent.
Covetina guides me out of the water and we sit back down on the blanket. I’m chilly in the breeze, and, surprised by the ease of it, I make a wrap appear.
Hell yeah, I could definitely get used to this!
“Goddess, if I can change my clothes and appearance, is there any way I can make my mother’s mark stay on my skin?”
“Of course. You have always had the power, but now that you have been baptized, you are even stronger yet. I am sure you can figure out what to do.”
I do know what to do. I already had an idea; I just needed confirmation. Closing my eyes, I shut out everything around me visually. I need to focus. Thankfully this isn’t difficult, seeing as everything is still fairly quiet, even though the ceremony is over.
My mother comes into my thoughts and I focus on her image and the emotions it stirs inside of me. I concentrate on the bond I felt when we met earlier, and prayed, not to anyone or anything in particular. Just to the Universe, I suppose.
I ask for the strength to keep a permanent, physical reminder of my mother. As I focus intently on the pattern, imagining it in my mind, the delicate skin of my wrist starts to burn slightly. Not wanting to look, I concentrate as the sensation heightens … until it is almost unbearable. But when it reaches that point, the pain begins to fade.
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I look into the far distance of my mind, where my mother stays, and I see her smile and wave with a lift of her hand. Glancing once more at the imagined image on my wrist, I open my eyes and look at the real one. I rub my thumb over it, like I did in Hollie’s room before I arrived here, and am surprised to feel the skin is smooth.
I expected it to be wounded or have some sort of scab, or raised, tender skin at the least. But the mark is perfect. This reminds me of how I healed so quickly after touching my car earlier this morning. I wonder if this is another faery attribute.
When I glance up to ask Covetina about it, the goddess startles me with an earnest eye and a look of adoration on her face. A spirited feeling spreads through my body.
The feeling is followed by shyness. “So, um, I just felt like I was being branded, or at least how I imagine that would feel, but now I can see and feel my skin and there’s nothing wrong with it… Do we heal faster than humans or something? ’Cause also, I burned myself on my door handle this morning, and it only took a minute for the redness to go away.”
“A door handle? What kind?”
“My car door. Well actually, my friend’s car did it, too.”
“Steel. Iron. These are things that are harmful to us. We cannot die, not from being harmed at least. Well, not usually, with only the few exceptions…” The goddess trails off with a wistful look in her eyes.
She shakes her head and simply returns back to the original topic. “The great thing is that we heal easily. But, we do have weaknesses. Iron is one of them.”
“But really it’s any kind of metal?”
“Any type of tough, hard metal such as those I mentioned. Aluminum does not harm us that badly, or copper. Metals of that kind. But iron—if we are around it for too long, we can get sick and, if we touch it, well… You know what happens then. It hurts us more when we are in the human realm. In fact, it does not even exist here, unless you bring it with from the human realm or would want to conjure it, but I have no clue why any faery would want to do such a thing.”
I think back to the night Blake gave me the necklace that I’ve since left in my bathroom. It felt so heavy and strange in my hands. And how it tingled—it was so odd.
And sad. Blake solidified our relationship even more that night, but now I know it was all bullshit. But that wasn’t his fault. No matter what anyone tells me, I know Blake was real. At least to a point, he was. Definitely a sad situation.
It is actually heartbreaking, truth be told, not just sad. But I have much more on my mind at the moment. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to worry about Blake—or even my parents, other family, or friends. But it’s not like they are begging to have me back around… My cell hasn’t made a sound.
It’s true I have found my new home, a new life, and a new beginning. But I need to finish my business here and head back. Hols may not want to be a part of my world, but I have to see how she is doing. And I want to share my new knowledge, as well as the beauty of Avalon.
As great as everything that just happened is, though, I feel in the pit of my stomach that the evil in this realm is just as intense as the good, if not more so. Especially if that fight with Donovan was only the start. Who knows what else he has up his sleeve.
My eyes sense movement and I see that fae of all kinds are starting to come out of the bushes and trees that border the lake. Their presence feels different than anything else. They feel good, and right.
I can now see the humor in the notion that humans believe they are the only civilized species in existence. They have no clue what is really out there. Sure, some speculate and try to find more, but overall, humans tend to live superficial and selfish lives. If only they could be shown that there is more. If we could live and work together again, in harmony, like Bonnie told me about.
It always surprises people that I am neither superficial nor selfish—considering my privileged upbringing—but I now know it is because I was beyond all of that. Not above it, or better than it. Not at all. I was just beyond it. Something inside of me has always known the truth and has kept me grounded throughout my years.
I realize a lot of time must have passed while I was thinking, but it becomes obvious how quickly my thoughts were moving once Covetina speaks.
“So, your mother gave you that mark? It is the same one she had on her wrist. I remember it well. Many of us have a similar mark somewhere on our bodies. Did she happen to tell you what it means?”
“No. She just told me that it was our special mark, and if I ever needed her, it would help me to call her spirit.”
So it’s not just something she and I have? Everyone here has one? This is a somewhat sad thought.
“Darling, do not fret. It is extremely special. Almost one of a kind.”
“I, uh, didn’t say that out loud… Wait—can you tell what I’m thinking … like I can with Hollie?”
“Yes, it is a gift of mine. Not every faery can do so, but some of us have the ability. You and I are two such ones. The best part of it is the reverse—we can block people out of our minds. It is as simple as visualizing a barrier, and it will practically become a physical one.
“Only the people and fae you want to enter your mind may do so. It is something you should practice. And then, after time, blocking others out will become habit. Soon, you will have to focus to let them in.”
“Huh, that’s pretty cool.” I think about the usefulness of this ability for a second. But then I’m right back to my mother. “Does everyone’s mark mean the same thing? Is it a faery world symbol or something?”
“Yes, sort of. You have noticed it is a Celtic cross. The humans we used to work with before we were essentially banished were Celts. The cross has a very basic concept, and we felt it fit our world rather well, so we adopted it.
“To put it simply, the arms are of equal length, which signifies many things. The most important being the four directions. These are very dear to us, as they are where the elements come from. Four is also an important number because we have Samhain, Bealtaine, Lammas, and Imbolg, along with the regular ‘human’ changes of seasons—the solstices and equinoxes. We celebrate the four main occasions with grand parties. You are just in time to be able to experience the summer solstice party once this horrible mess is out of the way.”
“Wow, the whole concept sounds pretty cool. I never knew something so simple could hold so much meaning.” I look down at it again and I feel like every organ and cell in my body is smiling. “And a party? Those are always fun… And will be extremely needed soon.”
I glance again at my wrist, amazed at everything about it. It appeared with a kiss. I made it permanent just by wanting it to be so. And I can supposedly get in touch with my mother with it—haven’t figured that one out yet, though.
“So this mark ties me to my new home as well as to my mother? I can’t believe that in just a couple of days I’ve found my place. Especially after feeling so awkward and out of place my entire life so far.”
“Well, I am extremely happy to hear that, dear Kellyn. I can feel, and see, your happiness glowing and bursting right out of you from within.” Her smile says this on its own; no words are needed, but I am glad—and proud—to hear them. Now as to whether or not I believe them…
I look down and, sure enough, on top of the shimmering stars, which are now illuminated by the moon rather than the sun, I can see a slight glowing light from within myself. My skin looks radically different than it even did earlier, and of course it is way different than how I always saw it before. As amazing as it is, I am also a little afraid. It’s such a drastic change.
“So, if what I can see of myself is so bizarre, will I be surprised when I look in the mirror? It’d be nice to have a heads up if I’m gonna look totally different…”
“Well, you will still look like you, but it will just be a different version. It should not be scary. You will see what you look like in truth. Your face glows, as I already mentioned, and the rest of you does as well, which y
ou have seen. And you have a beautiful aura surrounding much of your hair and face.”
“Phew. That’s good to know. I think I’m dealing pretty darn well, minus the tiny freak-out earlier when I left my house. I don’t know if I can handle anything else super crazy.”
“Not to worry. I will not overwhelm you with any more troubling knowledge. And I know you have to get back to Hollie. But if you could stay a minute longer, it will help you understand what you are up against. The sooner you know about it, the more prepared you will be—and you need to be prepared.”
I don’t like the sound of where Covetina is going, but I’m not about to not listen. I want to know everything I can.
“All right. What exactly is in store for me? I assume we’re talking about Donovan here.”
“Yes, that is correct. There is much you need to know. I wish there was more time but—”
“If you wish in one hand and—” I stop speaking, completely freaked that I interrupted Covetina, especially with what I was about to say. What the hell was I just thinking?! Apparently I wasn’t…
She must sense how I feel though, or even be reading my mind, because she smiles and begins to laugh lightly. “Exactly. Of course, I would never speak a saying like that but I do know much about humans and have heard that one before. And it suits this situation perfectly. Wishing for something does not always get you what you want. They build up to a pile of nothing, unfortunately.”
I smile at her and nod, grateful she is so cool even though she’s super refined.
The goddess then begins to speak to me about the true evil that is behind Donovan and all his cruel actions. I learn about The Depraved and the darkness it holds, but also that it is necessary to keep the balance of this world. Nothing can have light without darkness.
It seems science and physics and all that aren’t such a waste. Interesting.
After this enlightening day, I feel ready to take on the world. Both of them. But first, I need to get back to the human one and see how things are going.
I hug Covetina goodbye, yet do not offer her thanks. I now understand why I have been so uncomfortable with the term my whole life. And why I have always hated compliments. In fact, my parents have always been on my case for not being more polite.
Apparently, faeries in general hate to be thanked. It is an insult. Our very nature is giving—wanting to be one with each other and the world. It is what we do and who we are. No thanks necessary.
And no help is required as I head back to Hollie’s house. Everything I need to know is now innate after being reborn.