Lowenah’s repeated rapping on the stateroom door elicited no response. She was not in the mood to be ignored and her patience was tiring out. “Ardon, dear, it’s Mother. Please allow me your indulgence. The morning has long passed by the waking hour and I have not seen my little darling this day or any since beginning our adventure, though I’ve requested his company to breakfast with me many times now. Please allow me entrance, dear one.”
No answer was returned.
Lowenah’s sufferance of Ardon’s self-imposed exile was about run out. “You may secret your heart from me, child, but you cannot hide from the one giving you life!” She swept her hand across the face of the locked panel door. Instantly there was a whirr and snap! as tiny gears and tumblers sprang into action, freeing the door’s restraints.
Slowly sliding the panel back, Lowenah peeked her head into the little cabin. Ardon did not look up, but sat on the narrow cot next to a tiny table, pretending to be absorbed in some important paperwork. Silently stepping through the doorway and quietly closing the panel, Lowenah stood there studying her son. After some little time passed, with Ardon’s continual ignoring of her presence, she stepped over and sat down beside him on the cot.
Ardon still did not respond, he only feigning to concentrate all the more on his papers. Lowenah tenderly placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. Resting her head on him, she waxed lonely, “Please, my lovely darling, speak to the one who loves you so much. Did I not create the very moons of Chrusion just to satisfy the wandering heart of my son? You know there is nothing I would not do for you. Please, do not make me pine for your love and attention.”
There was little response from Ardon, other than his shoulders slumped some, involuntarily welcoming Lowenah’s gentle touch. She ever so tenderly began to massage Ardon’s tense muscles, playing her silent hypnotic songs with musical fingers as her breathing kept tempo with the soft strokes and caresses. Few could resist Mother’s gentle persuasions. The fellow would have to come around soon. Just be patient and wait upon the moment.
It was not long before Lowenah’s magic gradually took effect. Eventually, Ardon set down his quill, sighing long and sad as he turned his lonely eyes away from the papers. Staring across the room, he asked, “Mother, do you recall the day when my brother attempted my murder while I blocked his path to get at my sister, Mihai?”
Lowenah cuddled close, rubbing her cheek on Ardon’s arm, quietly answering, “Yes… yes, I do. You were such a brave man that day, stood up to all those evil villains who had come to harm my little girl.”
Ardon’s head sank, hiding his face from Lowenah. “I was brave maybe, but very foolhardy. If it weren’t for Chisamore’s sudden appearance, I doubt I would have survived. He saved me that day.”
“Yes.” Lowenah closed her eyes, remembering. “Yes, dear, it was just outside the palace wall. They wanted Mihai, you know. It’s true that Chisamore and his company saved the day, but if you had not been there to hold them up awhile… well… I don’t know if he would have arrived in time to save my little girl.”
Ardon rested his hand on Lowenah’s knee, sadness growing in his heart. “I miss him, you know, miss him so much. Chisamore understood me. I think he was the only one who ever did.” He wiped away a tear. “He and Mihai, do you remember how they used to play at the councils, especially at the festivities after, and how they always made sure I was included in the party-making, seeking out my company for no other reason than to be with me?”
Reaching down and placing her hand over Ardon’s, Lowenah whispered, “Those were good times, my lovely one. I had almost forgotten those good times.”
Nodding, Ardon lamented, “Now I have lost Mihai. She hates me, wants nothing to do with me again, ever.”
“Mihai? No! Son, that’s not true.” Lowenah replied reassuringly.
He turned toward her, tears streaming down his face. “Yes, she does! And it’s all over that Darla creature! I understand now that I was out of line with proper protocol, but such an indiscretion should be understood by these…these military people. I’m not a military person. I don’t know these things.”
Lowenah inquired, “But what of Rachel? I have heard that you assaulted the child when she was only doing her duty.”
Ardon vehemently disagreed. “I did not assault her! She had that nasty weapon, and pointed it at me! Oh, yes! I did overreact a bit, but the creature needed to understand that I was unfamiliar with procedures regarding ships and captains and all that military stuff. I had the welfare of my people in mind, no more than that.”
In anguished remorse, he cried, “I have pondered that morning these several days since and I still do not understand all the fuss. How could a trivial event become so blown out of proportion? No one told me you had assigned the person to captain the Shikkeron, only to tidy it up a bit. I didn’t even know Bedan wasn’t on board yet. I believe that Euroaquilo and Mihai are so smitten with their little darling that they don’t see the possible danger that exists within. It’s there! I’ve witnessed it! Even at the space port, I witnessed it!”
Lowenah leaned back, gently rubbing Ardon’s shoulders as he slumped forward with folded arms resting on his legs. “Hmmm… My, my, it does sound so… so wearisome.” After some reflection, she kindly offered, “My wonderful little child, it is not the helmsman, alone, who safely navigates murky shoals on a dark and moonless night, but the sounder who casts for deep waters, and the lookout high on the mast who ever searches the horizon for hints of shadow or light. The mind, my dear, always pilots our ship of understanding however dark the night might be, but without the heart sounding the true depth of matters, and our eyes perceiving those same matters with great insight, we may never reach our goal, but flounder upon the rocky shoals of life’s misfortunes.”
Not understanding Lowenah’s little proverb, Ardon fussed, defensive. “It is all well and good to wrap oneself in the guidance of many councilors when issues complex and ominous lurk in the surging tempest, but those councilors must be wise to the dangers hiding beneath. A person must use intellect with wisdom gained to see beyond the surface to find the deeper things. A good councilor will not allow blind emotions to muddy the waters further.”
Lowenah kindly chided Ardon, “Listen and learn something. I do not speak of many councilors, but of one body using all that it possesses - a heart, mind, and soul… love, knowledge, and wisdom. There is but one ship, one person, but many are the crew, and many are the parts making up the person. All the crew is necessary for the survival of the ship, and all the parts of the person are essential should that person desire to avoid calamity. Wise intellect alone will lead to disaster when strange waters and fearsome winds seek the vessel’s destruction.”
She looked Ardon in the face, explaining, “A blind man may hear the sound of roaring winds, but not understand that it is a twisting tempest bearing down on him. A man knowing deep matters may well come to ruin, because he has not seen the raging storm on the horizon. And an insightful man may well rent his ship asunder, because the rip current throws his ship upon the rocks.”
Waving a finger as she spoke, Lowenah admonished, “You must learn to use a reasoning heart and insightful eyes along with all your knowledge and intellect if you wish to see success and gain understanding into why Euroaquilo and Mihai protect your sister - yes, your little sister. She is not a creature to be pitied, like a sick puppy. Empathy is found in an understanding heart, something, my lovely one, I do not think you have yet chosen to discover within yourself.”
Ardon answered, confused, “I do not know what to look for within myself, for I have lacked for nothing all these many days from the founding of my time. Discoveries, I find, must be searched for, anticipated by applying knowledge with the spirit of sound reasoning that something more must also exist. Otherwise, one merely stumbles aimlessly through life, crashing into every little obstacle that comes along, never discovering the meaning of the universe.”
> “My dear child!” Lowenah raised an eyebrow. “When a captain sees only the mystic light on the horizon, believing that to be the sole point of discovery, his ship may well sail headlong into a hidden obstacle that will bring him and his ship ruin. Constantly must he be searching for what he does not know exists. Often it will be those unknowns that will determine a person’s fate, for good or ill.”
Ardon smiled, approvingly. “All the better to be focused on what one is searching for!”
Lowenah fumed, “Child, don’t tell me you’re that daft! Do not council me according to my wisdom! I do not speak with empty prattle, but seek the level of understanding of the one I am talking to. You may think yourself a great and wise councilor, but far greater was AsreHalom’s knowledge and insight, to the point of achieving the immortal realms through self-induced visions and dreams. Yet he fell into eternal darkness for refusing to see hidden realities. Little difference do I see between him and you, except your heart is innocent and true to me. Do not think, though, that your logic has preserved your soul alive down to this day. If logic and understanding gave life, then AsreHalom and Chrusion would long ago have gained, in reality, to the worlds of the Immortals. Now listen and learn!”
Lowenah leaned back, frowning. “I will now speak to you at your level of understanding. You do not know a thing about the heart! You are stubbornly resistant to believing in, or, at best, indifferent to its power and strength, not understanding that the universe itself is built upon the outpourings of the heart…my heart. Yes! It was through my tears and desire for love that I built these worlds that you search for your understanding. I wanted someone to love… and to love me…not someone built by nature to love me, but to love me by one’s own will after discovering that part of my soul within them.”
Lowenah’s mood was up now. She was not going to allow Ardon to escape, thinking he knew all about himself. “Yes! I tore from my very soul the power of life and cast it to the winds, having faith that I could create others like myself who would gather the power of that essence to themselves and return it to me through their like love. Sadly, there were none - not even my darling Tolohe or my child PalaHar, they both understanding the depth of universal web - who chose to understand me. You I loved, but out of dismay, for you could see only the power of my glory as seen through simple eyes.”
She cast her gaze toward the floor. “It was not until my very own daughter, Michael, gave to me her love that I was rewarded with a child who understood me, could feel my soul with hers. That child has set the universe ablaze, changing it for good or ill forever. I say ‘for good or ill’ because of those who resist its power there eventually rises a hatred for it within their hearts until they cast away its very essence, they becoming little better than beasts for the slaughter, using up what precious life they possess until Fate’s arrow extinguishes their flame.”
Ardon piped in. “Well have I witnessed the child’s love and affection, and hold it very dear to my heart. That’s why I am so saddened over her severe anger regarding such a little issue. If it pleases her, I will go to this Darla creature and make public apology for my seeming improprieties.”
Lowenah’s anger rose up in her heart, indignant, her nostrils flaring. Just as quickly, she forced those feelings back down, knowing it does no good to punish a dog when it cannot understand the bad it has done. She sighed, repressing her lingering frustration. Ardon was a good man, as good leastwise as most of her children. Darla was silently viewed by so many of them as little more than a deformed, twisted creature to be pitied, yet to also be politely avoided.
Ardon was just more outspoken than the others, he being one of the standing council members of the Twenty Four, and he having, long ago, taken upon himself to be the protector of the Empire. Another fault that left the man stunted to understanding his own heart and that of others was his arrogance concerning things he did not know about. Of what importance must it really be if he didn’t know about it or hadn’t thought about it?
Lowenah sighed again, resting a hand on Ardon’s shoulder, looking him in the face, cautioning, “Do not underestimate the danger you are in! A tricksy heart will deceive itself into believing wrong and crooked things. Many are the sons of Damnation who once showed more wisdom and understood better the power of a heart’s love, yet the spirit of life has already fled their souls, and Fate’s archer awaits at their door to send them to the Abyss of Nothingness.”
“Now listen and learn so that you may live! Do not, ever, demean my Rachel by calling her a creature again, or I will give you a thrashing you will long remember! For I will humiliate you in the public square and throw you out of my house, giving your high position to the child you hate! Do you understand me?!”
Ardon was taken aback, but he knew well enough to leave Mother be when her dander was up, even if he did not understand why. He nodded, saying he would try.
“Good!” Lowenah exclaimed. “I will tell you this: If you had residing within you the monsters that dwell in my little child, you would have long ago turned to the world of evil, becoming far worse in wicked deeds than the acts committed by AsreHalom! Even Michael does not comprehend the evil my Rachel carries within her breast, for, as a babe, my little child was cast into the furnaces of Hell, and I, the only one capable of stopping the scourge tearing her mind apart, did nothing because my own selfish heart pined for its love lost.”
“All alone my child suffered the demons as they sought to consume her soul, but she did not let them, has not! It, Son, was not, is not willpower and strength of mind that saved my child from such a terrible fate. No! It is the love welling up in her heart that saved her, all of my children, from the damnation that may yet consume your worlds should my purpose fail me at this upcoming Prisoner Exchange.”
Ardon began to interrupt.
Lowenah hushed him. “I will tell you, my little child, Rachel, has within her heart, gathered more of the power of my love than all my other children put together! By her selfless acts of courage and devotion, she has saved more of my children than have all our foolish councils from the beginning of this rebellion! Deformed and twisted my child is. Should all my children be so blessed as she, for her love preserves her very being, protected by the powers that are keeping her alive until a cure is manifested.”
Again taking Ardon’s hand, looking down, while playing her fingers upon it, Lowenah counseled, “It was not out of pity or delight that I have delivered Rachel up to this Prisoner Exchange. The future of the universe rests upon decisions made there, and my little child must stand beside me at that fateful time. I must cast her soul into the fires of the damned, for I have been challenged by the demon host, himself, to deliver to him the greatest of all my warriors to do battle with him.”
Ardon frowned, shaking his head. “She has not the might to do contest with that monster! Why, he has power over even the elements! Gabrielle alone might possibly have the strength, possibly...”
“Son…” Lowenah looked into Ardon’s eyes. “War is waged on many levels. This battle is not one of flesh against flesh, but spirit against spirit. I believe Rachel is the greatest of my warriors. I believe this so much that I have put the future hope of all my children upon the table of Fate. Across that table, I have cast the dice. I now wait upon the numbers revealed.”
Ardon was shocked. He now realized his mother was serious. She was playing a very deadly game, and she trusted the future of the universe to a broken, deranged urchin who was most unpredictable. But the look on Mother’s face convinced him that the matter was settled and there was nothing he could do to change her mind, that it would be showing wisdom to remain silent about his feelings.
Lowenah patted Ardon’s hand. “Now please speak to no one about this. I warn you to keep this secret, for there are other ears that would find this too great a treasure to carry alone within their bosom! Your brother believes I am delivering Michael up to him for this contest, he thinking her
to be my valiant warrior. I will fool him completely. I tell you this: my darling son, Michael will fail me at this upcoming Prisoner Exchange because she does not accept my counsel, but chooses a more dangerous path. Her soul will not come to ruin, though, because I have given her a savior who will pull her from the flames just in the nick of time.”
She then further warned, “Do not interfere at this upcoming Prisoner Exchange! Leave my Rachel be to the Fates. Watch yourself that day, or I shall feed your flesh to the crow and the snake if that needs be done to save my Rachel alive! You I allowed to speak up at the council because secrets I did not want revealed, but to you I say, ‘leave matters be.’ The fate of the universe rests upon the outcome, and I will put you down if you become a risk! I trust Rachel, but I don’t trust you! Not in this matter…”
Lowenah paused, looking deeply into Ardon’s eyes, his heart. She was dismayed. Ardon would obey her. He was such a loyal son, but he still did not understand at all why Darla must be included on this mission, or even why he had been so chastised regarding his actions toward her. Lowenah could see all these things.
This had been a most wearisome conversation. Lowenah was tired. She finally concluded, “Son, the day may well come that the one you hate so will rescue your heart, for I do not believe the power resides within you to gain its deliverance.”
She smiled, sad. “You have never desired the company of others, you accepting your loneliness as normal, the way all my children were made.”
Looking toward the door, she exclaimed, “Well! It’s not good to be lonely, even when a person cannot feel he is lonely, especially when we journey far into the unknown. I want you to gather Tashi up in your arms and spend the remainder of this journey together, you know, doing things she wants to do, for a change.”
Ardon smiled, it quickly fleeing his face. “I don’t know. Something’s got Tashi out of sorts this trip. She has acted nervously busy all the time, returning here to only gather a few things and then running off again. I feel the room…”
Lowenah hushed him. “Do as you’re told. Tashi and I had a little chat earlier and she waits, even now, in the officers’ mess for you. I promised her you’d give her a good time and that you would do whatever she wanted. Don’t disappoint me now. Tashi has waited a long time to share with you little treasures that are on her mind. Now be a good boy and take the girl into your arms and do for her as she wishes.”
Ardon grinned, hugging Lowenah tight. “I promise, Mother, I promise to do just as you have ordered.”