Page 31
“If I told him we weren’t drinking tonight, he’d have asked us to leave. ” Sometimes it’s hard to remember this is actually a place of business, not just a venue for indecent proposals.
“Maybe we should leave,” Jonah murmurs. “Don’t we have better things to do?”
Tonight? Now? He can’t mean that. We’re supposed to plan these nights in advance. Sane and safe.
But what’s happening between us—that’s not safe at all.
“We—we can’t,” I manage to say. “I want us to choose a night, a time, but not now—”
“What if I made it now?”
Jonah steps forward. With one hand he grips my chin, holding my face still as he leans closer. He’s so tall that he seems to loom over me; the rest of the noise around us seems to fade away.
Yet as his eyes meet mine, I know . . . if I say the word silver, this will end in an instant.
I don’t say it.
“I could back you into that alleyway,” he whispers. “Just a few feet away. Five steps and we’d be in the dark, where nobody could see you, and nobody could stop me. ”
“I’d scream. ”
Jonah’s eyes darken. He likes it when I play along. “I wouldn’t let you,” he says, as two of his fingers slide up to cover my lips. “I could cover your mouth while I pinned you against the wall. That would leave me one hand free. So I could reach up under that little dress of yours. Pull your panties down. ”
I’m completely caught in the spell he’s weaving with his words. The low tone of his voice is like a hypnotic, drugging me. “I’d be so scared,” I whisper. My lips brush against his fingers. “Too scared to scream, or to fight. ”
He breathes out sharply, as though I’d struck him. So dirty talk turns him on too. “I’d be able to get my cock out. It’s already so hard for you. All I’d have to do is push your thighs apart—lift one leg up—”
“I couldn’t stop you. ”
“But you’d push back. ”
“I would. But I wouldn’t be strong enough to get away. I’d be helpless. ”
“And you’d be pushing against me the whole time I fucked you. ”
“Yes. ”
By now I’m dizzy. If Jonah pulls me into that alley for real, I don’t care about the nearby crowd. I don’t care how shameless it would be. I’m his.
Instead, though, Jonah slowly leans back and takes a deep breath. His knowing smile returns. “We’ll choose a night sometime soon. Extremely soon. ”
He got me this keyed up and he’s just walking away? I can see—just from the quickest downward glance—Jonah’s as aroused as I am, so much it’s indecent for him to be seen in public. “We—you and I aren’t going to—”
Jonah shakes his head. “Not tonight. ”
“Oh, you son of a bitch. ” But I smile as I say it.
“It’s a treat for you. ” He untucks his shirt. That’s twice I’ve made him hide his erection in public. I should start putting notches on my lipstick case à la Pat Benatar. “I put you through three weeks of unnecessary confusion. So I’m making it up to you with a few days of suspense. ”
Suspense as a treat? Yes. Now that I know how good Jonah and I are together, the anticipation will drive me crazy.
(My shame has faded to a shadow next to Jonah, but it’s still there. Waiting. )
The waiter reappears, eyebrows raised, eager to hear our drink orders. I want to wave him off again, but Jonah says, “A glass of pinot noir for the lady. ” He drops a twenty on the waiter’s tray, and instantly the guy disappears, leaving us alone once more.
“Thanks,” I say. “But aren’t you getting anything?” I could remain here all night listening to him talk dirty.
Instead Jonah says, “I have to go. ”
“Are you kidding?”
“Nope. ”
I want to ask why he’s going, and I sense Jonah might tell me, but that’s one step over the line. We need to be totally open about our expectations and our limits. Our lives? Those, we don’t share. Otherwise we’ll stop being strangers. The fantasy will stop being what we wanted it to be. It would become . . .
I don’t know what it would become, and I don’t want to know. This is the arrangement, and we’re sticking to it.
“So you’ll pick the night?” I say.
Jonah nods. “And this time you get to pick the setting. The mood. When I call you, you tell me what you want. Be clear. Because once we meet each other—”