“Inject it right where you swabbed me. It needs to hit the muscle, then you just push the plunger in.”
I nodded, swallowing a few times but unable to get rid of the tightness in my throat. My heart raced.
I can do this.
It felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was near the edge of panic, but I wasn’t going to let emotions get to better of me.
Hunter trusts me.
Closing my eyes I forced myself to take a large lungful of air.
I can be strong for him.
In one quick movement, I stuck the needle into his thigh and pressed my thumb down on the plunger, pushing the liquid into him.
We both let out a sigh.
We had done it. Together.
After my hand stopped feeling shaky, I plucked the syringe out and handed it to him. He capped the tip of the needle and put it back into the pouch. A small droplet of blood dotted the point where the needle went into his thigh and Hunter smeared it away with his thumb.
I took deep shuddering breaths, feeling a numb tingling in my fingers.
Hunter put his pants back on, and then sat down on the bed again. He reached a hand to the back of my neck, pulling my face in until our foreheads were together.
“Thank you,” he said, eyes closed and breathing slowly.
“Thanks for letting me help,” I whispered back.
Hunter looked directly at me, an intense expression on his face. We held each other for a few moments, taking deep breaths and trying to gather ourselves again.
It felt like we had passed another milestone today. I knew that Hunter didn’t really need me to help with his injection. He could have easily done it himself. What he’d done was choose to let me see the pain he was dealing with.
Everyone saw the tattoos and muscles, but Hunter had shown me something deeper today. He wasn’t a mountain of meat that could take any abuse thrown at him in a cage. He was real. He had hopes and dreams and a heart bigger than that of anyone I’d ever met. I had broken that heart once, but he still came to find me.
Now, he wasn’t hiding his problems from me anymore and we were finally starting to face them together. It was terrifying, but I knew that I was at least strong enough to not run away. The mess we had made of things while we were at Studsen seemed like it was so long ago.
I studied his face closely. Many of the bruises he had from the fight were already starting the turn yellow.
“How are your injuries feeling?” I asked.
“They’re healing. I think I’ll be fine.”
I threw my arms around Hunter and pecked him quickly on the lips. His eyes brightened and shot up, a slow smile spreading across his face.
“What was that for?”
“I don’t know, just because,” I said, smiling back.
He gave me a hug and I sank into him, putting my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating right next to my ear. I briefly thought about telling him about the letter that I had written back to Marco, but then decided against it. I didn’t want to ruin this moment with talk about my mother’s murderer.
Hunter and I just held each other, basking in the moment. I wanted this to last forever.
“How long can you stay?” I asked. “You can’t just skip all your classes.”
He paused a moment before answering. “Well, thing is . . . after I got knocked out at that fight, I applied for a leave of absence. Arrowhart was cool about it, since they know about my MS and all.”
My mind raced, processing the fact that Hunter had dropped the semester. He hadn’t dropped out entirely, but still, this was a big deal.
“But I thought you were so close to graduating,” I said.
“I couldn’t focus on school with you gone and I needed some time to recover anyway. Don’t worry about me graduating, I only have a few credits left. I can probably just take them online when I need to.”
I frowned but didn’t say anything. Hunter had been doing pretty well in school, or at least a lot better than me. If he thought he had it under control, then it was probably fine.
“What are you planning on doing in the meantime?”
“I just want to stay close to you right now. At some point, I was thinking of moving to a motel or something, I don’t want to impose on your aunt and uncle. I’ve got some money left over from my fights so it’s cool.”
My heart danced with joy. I gave Hunter a big wet kiss on the lips. We still had a lot of things to deal with but at least we’d have some time to figure them out.
Chapter Nine
FUN AND GAMES
Hunter had told me he was usually weak after his treatment, but the next day he seemed pretty normal. A little tired, maybe, but nowhere near as bad as I feared.
The whole family spent most of the day lounging around the house. The only exception was when I went with my uncle to get a new phone. Hunter stayed behind to rest.
When we got back, he seemed animated and generally much more like himself, so much so that he volunteered to help with dishes after dinner.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, once my aunt and uncle were out of earshot. The boys had already left to go play.
“Good,” he answered.
I waited for more, but he didn’t offer anything else. Shrugging, I turned to get another dish from the counter and found one of the kittens on the counter, pawing at the food on a plate.
I cried out in surprise and Hunter snapped his head around. “Bones!” he said sternly. “Get down!”
Bones froze for a second, then scurried away. Shaking my head, I went back to the dishes.
After a little while, I noticed Hunter watching me. “Is something wrong?” I asked, turning to him.
He stuck his lower lip out and shook his head. “Nope. Was just looking to see if I think you might wanna go out tonight. I’m starting to think you’re getting a little stir-crazy.”
I bit my lip and thought about it. He was kind of right. The trip with my uncle to the mall had been the only time I’d been out other than therapy since I’d come back from Studsen.
Still, though, how would my aunt and uncle feel about us going out? They said they wanted whatever was best for my happiness, but I didn’t want to disrespect them.
“We could go out,” I said tentatively. “But I don’t think we should go anywhere that involves drinking. Beyond the problems with driving drunk, I don’t think my aunt and uncle would like it.”
“No problem,” Hunter said. “I have something in mind I think you’ll like.”
I thought about asking him if he was sure he was up for it, but stopped myself. That would make him feel like I was treating him as a patient. He could be responsible for his own limits.
“Okay,” I said. “Where is it?”
He smiled. “It’s a surprise.”
I pursed my lips, but the look on his face brought a grin to my face. “Sounds good.”
We finished up the dishes, told my aunt and uncle we were going out—they asked us not to be out too late—and soon we were in Hunter’s car, on the way to his surprise destination.
A smile played on my lips as we got close. I knew my way around Eltingville well enough to know where we were headed.
Hunter noticed my expression. “Have you guessed where we’re going?”
“You’re taking me to the carnival!” I said happily.
He laughed. “I guess it was ambitious to try to surprise you in a town you know better than I do.”
“No, it’s perfect. Thank you for thinking of this.”
We pulled into the parking lot a minute later. “You’re gonna love this next bit. Close your eyes.”
I obeyed, still excited with the prospect of the carnival. Hunter reached noisily behind him to the back seat, retrieved what he had been looking for, and then sat forward again.
“Alright,” he said. “Open your eyes.”
When I saw what it was, I squealed in delight. He had brought the bag of art supplies I had left at school. A sketchbook and
several pens were contained inside. He even brought the portfolio I had been working on for the art competition.
“How did you get these?” I asked.
“Daniela helped me out. I asked her if there was anything important you might’ve left behind and she gave me this.”
I couldn’t believe she had managed to keep the secret from me. A stupid grin on my face, I scooped up the bag into my lap.
“Thank you so much!” I said. “This was really thoughtful.”
I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. He smiled and looked generally satisfied with himself. “Glad you’re happy with them. You know, you can still mail in your portfolio to enter the competition.”
“But I’m not on campus anymore.”
“You’re on leave right? If you can still submit it, I think you should give it a shot.”
Maybe that would be good. Aunt Caroline had suggested that focusing on something would help me recover. This could be just what I needed.
“Yeah. I think I might do that.” I smiled at Hunter. He was so encouraging.
“Alright, ready to go? We gotta find you some things to draw.”
I nodded happily. We got out of the car and went into the carnival, my art supplies in hand. Unlike when Hunter had taken me to the abandoned amusement park, this carnival was brightly lit and full of life.
The place wasn’t overcrowded, but it definitely seemed like the most popular attraction in town. Most of the people there were either high school students or couples like us. The mix of screams, music, and loud conversation made it very noisy.
We walked around the grounds hand in hand, playing a few games and eating sweets. I was on the lookout for something fun to sketch.
A familiar voice came from my right. “I hope you are recovering well.”
I stopped in my tracks and turned, a chill running down my spine. Marco.
But he was nowhere to be seen. I sucked in deep breaths and turned back to Hunter, who looked at me worriedly.
“You alright?” he asked.
I didn’t want to bring our evening down by talking about Marco. It wasn’t a big deal anyway, it was probably just because this was the first time I’d been out of the house in a while. I looked around the area for something to talk about so we could change the subject. When I saw a game that measured the player’s strength punching a bag, I had just the ticket.
I motioned to the game with my free hand as we walked near it. “Think you can win top prize on that game?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
Hunter flashed me a suspicious look, but his expression changed when he saw what I was talking about. “Come on. I’ll break the game.”
“Wow,” I said, grateful for my quick thinking. “You sound confident.”
“I am,” Hunter said with a smirk as we walked over to the tent.
A crowd of high schoolers were gathered around watching the biggest guy in their group take his shot at the game. After some encouragement from his friends, he wound up and took a big, wild swing. The bag shot back with a loud thwack and a digital score appeared on the board.
“Seventy-two hundred!” the operator boomed. “Ya need ten thousand to get Bernie. Wanna try again?”
I looked around the booth to see who “Bernie” was and found the answer in a pile of giant stuffed St. Bernard dogs. They were easily four feet long and super cute. Maybe I never had a pet dog when I was younger, but a stuffed one would make me happy now.
“If you’re so confident, then I want one of those dogs,” I said, pointing at the prizes.
Hunter looked over at me and flashed a grin. “No problem, babe.”
The operator, a balding man with a thin, gray mustache and black wireframe glasses that sat a little too low on his nose, was already scanning for his next customer. He knew before the high schoolers had even left that they weren’t going to use any more of their tickets on this game.
“Does the little lady want to try her punching power?” he asked, as the previous group was still meandering away. His voice was scratchy, which made me think he was a smoker.
I looked to Hunter, who spoke up. “I do.”
The operator looked at the prizes behind him quickly then gave Hunter a gap-toothed smile. “Alrighty, son. That’ll be one ticket.”
Hunter handed over the ticket and then quickly removed his sweatshirt. His back and shoulders bulged against the thin white t-shirt he wore underneath. His natural scent washed over me in a quick wave, causing my skin to flush.
The operator’s eyebrows shot up when he saw Hunter getting prepared. “Making sure you’re unimpeded, I see. Do you work out?”
Hunter smiled in the way he did when people were patronizing him. “Just tell me when to punch the bag.”
“Step right up. Whenever you’re ready.”
Hunter wound up and hit the bag with a ferocious straight right hand. Whereas the previous puncher had taken a wild, looping swing, Hunter’s motion was tight and efficient.
The bag smacked hard against the machine with a sound between a car backfiring and a gunshot. Some people walking by stopped in their tracks to see what was going on.
A low whistle emerged from the operator’s lips. “Twenty-seven thousand, two-hundred,” he said, almost to himself.
Hunter looked satisfied with himself. “Let’s have the dog, please.”
The operator picked up one of the Bernies and handed it to him, still stunned. “Highest score I ever seen on that thing. That was some nice form. You box?”
Hunter handed me the stuffed dog and turned back to the operator. “Kinda.”
The operator nodded. “Well, you should keep it sharp. I dunno if you’re from ‘round here, but there’s a gym in town where you could get some work on. Clint might even give you some work if you wanna train some youngins”
“Gotcha. Maybe I’ll check it out. Thanks for the tip.”
“My pleasure. Hope you enjoy that dog Little Lady.”
“Thanks,” I said, giving the dog a big hug.
Hunter smiled and put his arm around me as we walked away, his sweatshirt over his other shoulder. People walking by stared at the giant stuffed dog in my arms. It made me feel like a celebrity.
“When did you start boxing, anyway?” I asked, after we’d been walking for a little while.
Hunter squeezed my shoulder a little bit. “I boxed and wrestled in high school, but I didn’t get into MMA in college until after I got kicked out of Air Force ROTC.”
Of course. That’s why he had an Air Force shirt, and his place was so neat.
“Is ROTC why you studied Physics?”
“Yeah, it’s a good major if you wanna get into the Air Force. Shows you’re disciplined, and having that kind of knowledge is useful for all sorts of stuff in the military.”
“Why did you get kicked out?”
“It was ‘cause of my MS. Air Force policy.”
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
“It was something I’d been working for since I was in high school. I just wanted to get up in a plane and fly away from all the bullshit, but whatever. It’s over now.” He looked down and kicked a rock out of the way.
It must’ve been difficult for him, to have his dreams dashed, just because of some disease that he couldn’t control.
“It’s never a bad thing to chase your dreams,” I said. Trying to distract him, I decided to bring up something that had been on my mind lately. “I wish I had some idea of what I want in the future.”
He shrugged. “No big deal, you got a lot of time to figure it out.”
“I think it might help me move on if I figured it out sooner rather than later.”
“What about art?” he asked, pointing to the sketchbook in my arms.
I thought about it for a second. He did have a point. Art was something I was naturally drawn to.
“Yeah, maybe. I’m thinking about it. I don’t think I was doing super well at Arrowhart anyway. None of those classes were very interesting. I kn
ow Daniela really liked her psych classes, but I never got into any of them.”
“Maybe you can go to art school or something.”
I nodded, staring into the distance. It seemed scary, but maybe it was something I could look into.
“If I had a ton of money, I’d pay for your drawings,” he said, his eyes crinkling with his smile.
I smiled and hugged him close, giving him a kiss on the cheek. I could tell he was still a little bothered about our talk about the Air Force.
We came to the food court and took a seat at a free table. Hunter went to go get some food while I sat my new stuffed animal next to me and got out my drawing supplies. Maybe I could draw him something to try and bring his spirits up.
I looked around to see if there was anything good to sketch, before deciding on what I wanted. Working quickly, I began a sketch of Hunter at the punching game, adding plenty of my own twists.
By the time he came back with our treats, I was already well on the way to finishing up. I hid it with my hand as he approached.
“Whatcha working on?” he asked, putting the plate with a funnel cake in front of me.
“Don’t look,” I said. “I’m almost done.”
He chuckled and looked away. “Alright. Don’t let your snack get cold, though.”
“I won’t.”
A minute later, I picked up the sweet pastry—which was still warm—and turned my sketchbook so Hunter could see my handiwork. He took one look at it and laughed.
“Is that me?” he asked.
“Yup. I did take some artistic liberties . . .”
“Is that why I’m wearing a cape with a hammer on it?”
I smiled. “Yeah. I mean, technically, it’s a drawing of your alter-ego The Hammer as you rescue Bernie from the clutches of the evil Carnival Man.”
He pointed at the depiction of Bernie. “Why is Bernie wearing a cape too?”
“Bernie is your sidekick. He’s gonna be there to protect you.”
He stared at the drawing for a second longer before looking up. “And where are you?” he asked, locking eyes with me.