"Miss," said a servant, who met me in the lobby, where I was wandering like a troubled spirit, "a person below wishes to see you."
"The carrier, no doubt," I thought, and ran down stairs without inquiry. I was passing the back parlor, or teacher's sitting-room, the door of which was half open, to go to the kitchen, when some one ran out:
"It's her, I am sure! I could have told her anywhere!" cried the individual, who stopped my progress and took my hand.
I looked; I saw a woman attired like a well-dressed servant, matronly, yet still young; very good looking, with black hair and eyes, and lively complexion.
"Well, who is it?" she asked in a voice and with a smile I half recognized; "you've not quite forgotten me, I think, Miss Jane?"
In another second I was embracing and kissing her rapturously. "Bessie! Bessie! Bessie!" that was all I said; whereat she half laughed, half cried, and we both went into the parlor. By the fire stood a little fellow three years old, in plaid frock and trousers.
"That is my little boy," said Bessie, directly.
"Then you are married, Bessie?"
"Yes; nearly five years since, to Robert Leaven, the coachman; and I've a little girl besides Bobby there, that I've christened Jane."
"And you don't live at Gateshead?"
"I live at the Lodge; the old porter has left."
"Well, and how do they all get on? Tell me everything about them, Bessie; but sit down first; and, Bobby, come and sit on my knee, will you?" but Bobby preferred sidling over to his mother.
"You're not grown so very tall, Miss Jane, nor so very stout," continued Mrs. Leaven. "I dare say they've not kept you too well at school; Miss Reed is the head and shoulders taller than you are, and Miss Georgiana would make two of you in breadth."
"Georgiana is handsome, I suppose, Bessie?"
"Very. She went up to London last winter with her mamma, and there everybody admired her, and a young lord fell in love with her, but his relations were against the match; and--what do you think? he and Miss Georgiana made it up to run away, but they were found out and stopped. It was Miss Reed that found them out; I believe she was envious, and now she and her sister lead a cat-and-dog life together; they are always quarrelling."
"Well, and what of John Reed?"
"Oh, he is not doing so well as his mamma could wish. He went to college, and he got-plucked,bc I think they call it; and then his uncles wanted him to be a barrister, and study the law; but, he is such a dissipated young man, they will never make much of him, I think."
"What does he look like?"
"He is very tall; some people call him a fine-looking young man; but he has such thick lips."
"And Mrs. Reed?"
"Missis looks stout and well enough in the face, but I think she's not quite easy in her mind. Mr. John's conduct does not please her; he spends a deal of money."
"Did she send you here, Bessie?"
"No, indeed; but I have long wanted to see you, and when I heard that there had been a letter from you, and that you were going to another part of the country, I thought I'd just set off and get a look at you before you were quite out of my reach."
"I am afraid you are disappointed in me, Bessie." I said this laughing; I perceived that Bessie's glance, though it expressed regard, did in no shape denote admiration.
"No, Miss Jane, not exactly. You are genteel enough; you look like a lady, and it is as much as ever I expected of you. You were no beauty as a child."
I smiled at Bessie's frank answer. I felt that it was correct, but I confess I was not quite indifferent to its import. At eighteen most people wish to please, and the conviction that they have not an exterior likely to second that desire, brings anything but gratification.
"I dare say you are clever, though," continued Bessie, by way of solace. "What can you do? Can you play on the piano?"
"A little."
There was one in the room; Bessie went and opened it, and then asked me to sit down and give her a tune. I played a waltz or two, and she was charmed.
"The Miss Reeds could not play as well!" said she, exultingly. "I always said you would surpass them in learning; and can you draw?"
"That is one of my paintings over the chimney-piece." It was a landscape in water-colors, of which I had made a present to the superintendent, in acknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the committee on my behalf; and which she had framed and glazed.
"Well, that is beautiful, Miss Jane! It is as fine a picture as any Miss Reed's drawing-master could paint, let alone the young ladies themselves, who could not come near it; and have you learned French?"
"Yes, Bessie, I can both read it and speak it."
"And you can work on muslin and canvass?"
"I can."
"Oh, you are quite a lady, Miss Jane! I knew you would be; you will get on whether your relations notice you or not. There was something I wanted to ask you--have you ever heard anything from your father's kinsfolk, the Eyres?"
"Never in my life."
"Well, you know missis always said they were poor and quite despicable; and they may be poor, but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds are; for one day, nearly seven years ago, a Mr. Eyre came to Gateshead, and wanted to see you. Missis said you were at school fifty miles off; he seemed so much disappointed, for he could not stay--he was going on a voyage to a foreign country, and the ship was to sail from London in a day or two. He looked quite a gentleman, and I believe he was your father's brother."
"What foreign country was he going to, Bessie?"
"An island thousands of miles off, where they make wine--the butler did tell me--"
"Madeira?" I suggested.
"Yes, that is it--that is the very word."
"So he went?"
"Yes; he did not stay many minutes in the house; missis was very high with him; she called him afterward a 'sneaking trades-man.' My Robert believes he was a wine-merchant."
"Very likely," I returned; "or perhaps clerk or agent to a wine-merchant."
Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer, and then she was obliged to leave me. I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning at Lowton, while I was waiting for the coach. We parted finally at the door of the Brocklehurst Arms; there each went her separate way--she set off for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take her back to Gateshead, I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new duties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote.
Chapter XI
Anew chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and when I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a room in the George Inn, at Millcote, with such large-figured papering on the walls as inn rooms have; such a carpet, such furniture, such ornaments on the mantel-piece, such prints, including a portrait of George the Third, and another of the Prince of Wales, and a representation of the death of Wolfe. All this is visible to you by the light of an oil-lamp hanging from the ceiling, and by that of an excellent fire, near which I sit in my cloak and bonnet; my muff and umbrella lie on the table, and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen hours' exposure to the rawness of an October day. I left Lowton at four o'clock A.M., and the Millcote town-clock is now just striking eight.
Reader, though I look comfortably accommodated, I am not very tranquil in my mind; I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one to meet me; I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the "boots" placed for my convenience, expecting to hear my name pronounced and to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to Thornfield. Nothing of the sort was visible; and when I asked a waiter if any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre, I was answered in the negative; so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private room; and here I am waiting, while all sorts of doubts and fears are troubling my thoughts.
It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world; cut adrift from every connection, u
ncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then the throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when half an hour elapsed, and still I was alone. I bethought myself to ring the bell.
"Is there a place in this neighborhood called Thornfield?" I asked of the waiter who answered the summons.
"Thornfield! don't know, ma'am; I'll inquire at the bar." He vanished, but reappeared instantly.
"Is your name Eyre, miss?"
"Yes."
"Person here waiting for you."
I jumped up, took my muff and umbrella, and hastened into the inn passage; a man was standing by the open door, and in the lamp-lighted street I dimly saw a one-horse conveyance.
"This will be your luggage, I suppose!" said the man, rather abruptly, when he saw me, pointing to my trunk in the passage.
"Yes."
He hoisted it on the vehicle, which was a sort of car, and then I got in. Before he shut me up, I asked him how far it was to Thornfield.
"A matter of six miles."
"How long shall we be before we get there?"
"Happen an hour and a half."
He fastened the car door, climbed to his own seat outside, and we set off. Our progress was leisurely, and gave me ample time to reflect; I was content to be at length so near the end of my journey; and as I leaned back in the comfortable though not elegant conveyance, I meditated much at my ease.
"I suppose," thought I, "judging from the plainness of the servant and carriage, Mrs. Fairfax is not a very dashing person; so much the better; I never lived among fine people but once, and I was very miserable with them. I wonder if she lives alone except this little girl; if so, and if she is in any degree amiable, I shall surely be able to get on with her; I will do my best--it is a pity that doing one's best does not always answer. At Lowood, indeed, I took that resolution, kept it, and succeeded in pleasing; but with Mrs. Reed I remember my best was always spurned with scorn. I pray God Mrs. Fairfax may not turn out a second Mrs. Reed; but if she does, I am not bound to stay with her; let the worst come to the worst, I can advertise again. How far are we on our road now, I wonder?"
I let down the window and looked out. Millcote was behind us; judging by the number of its lights, it seemed a place of considerable magnitude--much larger than Lowton. We were now, as far as I could see, on a sort of common; but there were houses scattered all over the district. I felt we were in a different region to Lowood--more populous, less picturesque; more stirring, less romantic.
The roads were heavy, the night misty; my conductor let his horse walk all the way, and the hour and a half extended, I verily believe, to two hours; at last he turned in his seat and said:
"You're noan so far fro' Thornfield now."
Again I looked out--we were passing a church; I saw its low, broad tower against the sky, and its bell was tolling a quarter; I saw a narrow galaxy of lights, too, on a hill-side, marking a village or hamlet. About ten minutes after, the driver got down and opened a pair of gates; we passed through, and they clashed to behind us. We now slowly ascended a drive, and came upon the long front of a house; candle-light gleamed from one curtained bow-window--all the rest were dark. The car stopped at the front door; it was opened by a maid-servant; I alighted and went in.
"Will you walk this way, ma'am?" said the girl; and I followed her across a square hall with high doors all round; she ushered me into a room, whose double illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled me, contrasting as it did with the darkness to which my eyes had been for two hours inured; when I could see, however, a cozy and agreeable picture presented itself to my view.
A snug, small room; a round table by a cheerful fire; an arm-chair, high-backed and old-fashioned, wherein sat the neatest imaginable little elderly lady, in widow's cap, black silk gown, and snowy muslin apron--exactly like what I had fancied Mrs. Fairfax, only less stately and milder-looking. She was occupied in knitting; a large cat sat demurely at her feet; nothing, in short, was wanting to complete the beau ideal of domestic comfort. A more reassuring introduction for a new governess could scarcely be conceived; there was no grandeur to overwhelm, no stateliness to embarrass; and then, as I entered, the old lady got up and promptly and kindly came forward to meet me.
"How do you do, my dear? I am afraid you have had a tedious ride, John drives so slowly; you must be cold--come to the fire."
"Mrs. Fairfax, I suppose?" said I.
"Yes, you are right; do sit down."
She conducted me to her own chair, and then began to remove my shawl and untie my bonnet-strings; I begged she would not give herself so much trouble.
"Oh, it is no trouble; I dare say your own hands are almost numbed with cold. Leah, make a little hot negus,bd and cut a sandwich or two; here are the keys of the storeroom."
And she produced from her pocket a most housewifely bunch of keys, and delivered them to the servant.
"Now, then, draw nearer to the fire," she continued. "You've brought your luggage with you, haven't you, my dear?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I'll see it carried into your room," she said, and bustled out.
"She treats me like a visitor," thought I. "I little expected such a reception; I anticipated only coldness and stiffness; this is not like what I have heard of the treatment of governesses; but I must not exult too soon."
She returned; with her own hands cleared her knitting apparatus and a book or two from the table, to make room for the tray which Leah now brought, and then herself handed me the refreshments. I felt rather confused at being the object of more attention than I had ever before received, and that, too, shown by my employer and superior. But as she did not herself seem to consider she was doing anything out of her place, I thought it better to take her civilities quietly.
"Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax to-night?" I asked, when I had partaken of what she offered me.
"What did you say, my dear? I am a little deaf," returned the good lady, approaching her ear to my mouth.
I repeated the question more distinctly.
"Miss Fairfax? Oh, you mean Miss Varens! Varens is the name of your future pupil."
"Indeed? Then she is not your daughter?"
"No--I have no family."
I should have followed up my first inquiry by asking in what way Miss Varens was connected with her; but I recollected it was not polite to ask too many questions; besides, I was sure to hear in time.
"I am so glad," she continued, as she sat down opposite to me, and took the cat on her knee, "I am so glad you are come; it will be quite pleasant living now with a companion. To be sure it is pleasant at any time; for Thornfield is a fine old hall, rather neglected of late years, perhaps, but still it is a respectable place. Yet, you know, in winter time, one feels dreary quite alone, in the best quarters. I say alone--Leah is a nice girl to be sure, and John and his wife are very decent people; but then, you see, they are only servants, and one can't converse with them on terms of equality; one must keep them at due distance, for fear of losing one's authority. I'm sure last winter (it was a severe one, if you recollect, and when it did not snow, it rained and blew) not a creature but the butcher and postman came to the house, from November till February; and I really got quite melancholy with sitting night after night alone; I had Leah in to read to me sometimes; but I don't think the poor girl liked the task much; she felt it confining. In spring and summer one got on better; sunshine and long days make such a difference; and then, just at the commencement of this autumn, little Adela Varens came and her nurse. A child makes a house alive all at once; and now you are here I shall be quite gay."
My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard her talk; and I drew my chair a little nearer to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she might find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.
"But I'll not keep you sitti
ng up late to-night," said she; "it is on the stroke of twelve now, and you have been travelling all day; you must feel tired. If you have got your feet well warmed I'll show you your bedroom. I've had the room next to mine prepared for you; it is only a small apartment, but I thought you would like it better than one of the large front chambers; to be sure they have finer furniture, but they are so dreary and solitary, I never sleep in them myself."
I thanked her for her considerate choice, and as I really felt fatigued with my long journey, expressed my readiness to retire. She took her candle, and I followed her from the room. First she went to see if the hall-door was fastened; having taken the key from the lock, she led the way up stairs. The steps and banisters were of oak; the stair-case window was high and latticed; both it, and the long gallery into which the bedroom doors opened, looked as if they belonged to a church rather than a house. A very chill and vault-like air pervaded the stairs and gallery, suggesting cheerless ideas of space and solitude; and I was glad, when finally ushered into my chamber, to find it of small dimensions and furnished in ordinary modern style.
When Mrs. Fairfax had bid me a kind good-night, and I had fastened my door, gazed leisurely round, and in some measure effaced the eerie impression made by that wide hall, that dark and spacious stair-case, and that long, cold gallery, by the livelier aspect of my little room, I remembered that after a day of bodily fatigue and mental anxiety, I was now at last in safe haven. The impulse of gratitude swelled my heart, and I knelt down at the bedside and offered up thanks where thanks were due; not forgetting, ere I rose, to implore aid on my further path, and the power of meriting the kindness which seemed so frankly offered me before it was earned. My couch had no thorns in it that night; my solitary room no fears. At once weary and content, I slept soon and soundly; when I awoke it was broad day.
The chamber looked such a bright little place to me as the sun shone in between the gay blue chintz window-curtains, showing papered walls and a carpeted floor, so unlike the bare planks and stained plaster of Lowood, that my spirits rose at the view. Externals have a great effect on the young; I thought that a fairer era of life was beginning for me--one that was to have its flowers and pleasures, as well as its thorns and toils. My faculties, roused by the change of scene, the new field offered to hope, seemed all astir. I can not precisely define what they expected, but it was something pleasant; not perhaps that day or that month, but at an indefinite future period.