“Definitely.” She tried to read him, read whether he was truly worried or more annoyed with his mother’s message. “Want me to come?”
“No.” He put his hand to the side of her face and let himself stay there in her eyes for a long while. “Thanks for being willing.”
“I care about her, Cody.” Back when Cassie Coleman was in prison through much of Cody’s high school years, Bailey’s mother had been one of her only friends. “Let me know that everything’s okay.”
“I will.” He kissed her softly on her lips. Not the kiss of desire and passion and longing for all their future might hold, but a kiss that apologized because the moment they’d been caught up in was lost now. At least until later that night. “See you in a while.”
He jogged down her porch steps toward his car and wasted no time heading out toward his mother’s house. Bailey watched him go, and she hoped his mother was okay, that maybe she had a problem with her house or the bug going around. Something simple. As long as everything was okay with his mother, Cody might still ask her to be his girlfriend later tonight. The way she hoped he would.
She was headed inside when her own cell phone went off. Probably Cody telling her he’d talked to his mom and she would only need him for a few minutes. Then he would be headed back to her. But as Bailey went to answer it, she saw the name Ellison on her caller ID. At this hour, she couldn’t imagine why anyone from Andi’s house would be calling. unless something was wrong with her, too—
“Hello?” Bailey tried to keep the panic from her voice.
“Bailey, it’s Keith Ellison. Sorry for calling so late.”
“Is everything okay with Andi?” She stopped just short of her front door and put her hand to her head.
“Yes, of course.” His tone told her he was sorry for making her worry. “This is about your screen test. Dayne and I have been here going over the next round of auditions, trying to put the cast together.” He paused. “Bailey, we were very impressed with your test. We think you’d make a terrific Ella, if you’re interested in another round of auditions.”
If she was interested? She started to scream, but caught herself and made the sound only a quiet shriek. “Are you serious? Yes, I’m interested. Of course!”
Keith Ellison laughed lightly on the other end. “I thought you might be.” He went on to explain that Brandon Paul was flying in early next week. “We’d like you back in our office for a screen test with Brandon this Wednesday. Does that work?”
Bailey gripped her hair at the roots and paced down the length of her porch and back again. “Yes, yes it works just fine. Mr. Ellison, thank you so much. I can’t tell you what this means, just having the chance is…it’s a gift from God, truly.”
“The fact that you think so is the reason you’re perfect for the part. Your faith shone through in your screen test. Eleanor didn’t know what to make of it. Said she’d never seen anyone like you before.”
If she didn’t hold onto the porch rail Bailey was sure she’d float off and never be found again. She thanked Mr. Ellison a number of times and the conversation ended. She raced into the house, her hair flying behind her. “Mom! Dad! You won’t believe this!”
Through the foyer and down the hallway she went, as fast as her feet would carry her, until she ran smack into her father—who was clearly coming after her to see what the commotion was. “Oh.” She dusted herself off and adjusted her dad’s sweatshirt. “Sorry about that.”
Her mom walked up, eyes wide with concern. “Bailey you can’t yell like that. The whole neighborhood must’ve heard you.”
“I might have the part!” She screamed again, quieter this time. As she did, her brothers gathered around, each of them confused and laughing softly at the crazy way she sounded. “That was Mr. Ellison on the phone. He asked me to come in and read with Brandon Paul on Wednesday.” Her words ran together, and she had to remind herself to slow down so they could understand her.
“No way!” Connor brought both hands to his head, his face slightly pale. “That’s huge!”
“I knew it!” Her mom hugged her and stepped back to hug her dad too. “I just knew they’d call her back. She was unbelievable. You all would’ve been so proud of her.”
“I can’t believe it.” Connor was still looking dazed. “Do you know what this means?”
Shawn high-fived Justin and BJ and Ricky. “It means everyone at school will want Bailey to get them an autograph,” Shawn grinned big. “Every girl will be talking to us. We’ll be the most popular kids on campus.” He put his hand on Bailey’s shoulder. “Let’s make it an even dozen autographs. We’ll figure out who gets ’em.”
Her dad put his arm around her. “Honey, we’re not surprised. God’s given you a very great gift. This is only the beginning.”
“Wait…where’s Cody?” Shawn looked behind Bailey, down the hallway. “Wasn’t he here?”
“He had to go.” Bailey felt the slightest disappointment. “His mom called. She needed his help with something.”
“I hope she’s okay.” Her mom frowned, her eyes suddenly dark with worry. “She’s been on my heart a lot lately.”
“Cody didn’t seem too worried.” Bailey tried to shake off her concern about the situation. “I think it’s something small. I hope so, anyway.”
She was proud of Cody for being the type of son who would jump when his mother needed him. And she didn’t need him often, not like this. Whatever it was, Bailey hoped it didn’t take long. Cody should be here to celebrate this news with her. But when he didn’t return right away, as things settled down at the Flanigan house, Bailey decided to call him. That way she could find out what the trouble was and maybe tell him about the call from Mr. Ellison.
Over the next thirty minutes she tried three times, but always the call went to his voice mail. Only then did Bailey really start to feel worried for Cody’s mother. Whatever was wrong, it must’ve been significant. Otherwise Cody would’ve answered his phone. The more time passed, the more Bailey prayed and the less she even remembered her good news or the fact that she had an audition in three days with Brandon Paul.
The only thing consuming her heart was Cody and whatever he might be going through at this very moment with his mother.
Nine
THE WORDS IN HER TEXT MESSAGE were spelled wrong. That was the first sign. His mother had still been dating Benny the biker, which was why Cody didn’t spend more time with her. He’d told her several times that the guy was trouble, but she wouldn’t listen. Lately he could only pray she’d stay sober. Especially after her overdose and the trip to the hospital a few months ago. Since then, she was supposed to be in drug rehab three times a week, having blood tests to make sure she was staying clean. It was a condition of her parole, and now that she’d nearly died of an overdose, the police had informed her they’d be watching more closely.
Every time he called lately he asked the same thing: “Have you been to rehab? Are you getting your blood tests? Are you staying clean?”
She would always only laugh—this strange, high-pitched, nervous-sounding laugh. “Cody, you worry too much. I’m a grown woman. Go live your own life and let me live mine.”
But that didn’t sound like the mother he was starting to know. She’d missed so much of his childhood and teenage years, and when she came out of prison last time she was determined to be a better mother, spend time with him, talk about his past and his dreams for the future. For a while, when Bailey was so busy with Tim Reed, Cody hung out with his mom a lot. They’d see plays and go to dinner, and Cody allowed himself to believe she’d actually escaped, that the trap of drugs no longer had a hold on her.
But as he pulled out of the Flanigans’ driveway, he listened to the message from his mother and that’s when he knew for sure. The trouble she was in had to do with drugs, absolutely for sure. Her words were slurred, and she was crying, her tone filled with hysteria. “Cody…Cody, get here fas’. I’m in big trouble, baby. I need you. Please get here. Don’t be m
a’ at me, ’kay? Don’t be ma’.”
The words ran together and the message rambled until the voice mail cut her off. He clicked his phone off and tossed it on the seat beside him. Why would she do this? Didn’t she know where it would go, how her life would wind up if she went back to using? He was too angry to cry, too afraid to do anything but get to her house as fast as he could. Dear God, be with me…I don’t know what to do…I’m not sure how to help her. She’s my mom, Father. She’s supposed to have the answers, not me. He released an angry breath. Give me the strength…Let her be okay. Please.
I am with you, my son. I am your Father, and I will go ahead of you. Do not be anxious…my perfect peace will be with you.
The quiet response soothed his soul, but still the drive seemed to take forever. Finally he turned onto her street and his heart slammed against his chest. Parked in front of the house were two police cars. A third was just pulling up. Cody’s heartbeat flipped into overdrive as he parked a few houses down and tore out of his car. Not the police, not again. How could she let this happen? He stopped himself from racing onto the scene, since the police didn’t know him or why he was approaching.
“Excuse me?” He shouted the words in the direction of a pair of officers standing near his mother’s car. “I’m her son. Can I help you?”
One of the officers stepped forward, his face a mask of anger tinged only slightly by pity for Cody. “Your mother’s in big trouble.” The guy was older, one of the senior officers for sure. He had a black and gray mustache and serious eyes. “She’s on parole for dealing. I’m sure you know that.”
“Yes, sir.” He glanced at the house and saw that other officers were inside talking to his mother. “Why are you…I guess I don’t know what happened?”
“Are you familiar with a guy named Benny Dirk? Apparently he and your mother have been dating.”
“Yes.” Disgust rose up in Cody, but it didn’t stop his racing heart. His throat was dry and his knees felt weak. This was so much worse than he thought. “I’ve met him.”
“He’s a bad, bad guy.” The officer crossed his arms, his lips pursed. “We’ve been working a sting operation in the area, and from what we’ve learned he’s the chief supplier. Your mom was working for him. Dealing to people in the neighborhood and down the street at the park. Lots of places.” He looked at the house. “He threatened her, and she told him she was calling the police. She’s agreed to turn him in for a lighter sentence. But he’s dangerous. He’s ready to hurt someone.”
Cody wanted to fall to the ground or scream or run into the house and shout at the top of his lungs. She was dealing on this very street? And at the park? He forced himself to breathe. “So…so you’re arresting her? Even if she’s willing to turn in Benny?”
“We have to. We found drugs in her car and lists of clients.” He made a face and nodded toward the house. “We’ll work out the lighter sentence later. But right now we’re taking her in.” He sighed. “She’s isn’t in good shape…she’s definitely been using”
Cody had a million questions. Had his mom provided enough information so they could arrest Benny Dirk? And if he was dangerous, did that mean her life was in jeopardy? But more than that he needed to see her. Now, before another minute went by. “Can I go in? She…she called. She’s expecting me.”
“I’ll take you up. The house is a crime scene at this point. Our officers will be going through everything.” As he talked, still another pair of policemen pulled up. Cody felt his heart sink. How could this be happening? He was furious with his mother and terrified for her all at the same time. Of course Benny was trouble. Wasn’t that what Cody had told his mother? And now she’d been dealing? Was that even possible? That meant she’d been lying to him all along, not just about the drugs and drinking. About everything.
His whole body shook as he walked with the officer toward the house and through the front door. His mom was barely standing, and then only with the help of an officer. The other policeman was about to handcuff her.
“Mom!” He couldn’t lurch forward or run to her. Like the officer had told him, this was a crime scene.
“It’s okay.” The mustached policeman who had walked him up stood a few feet back now. “This is her son.”
“Cody!” His mom turned and nearly fell over. Her eyes were only half open, her breathing raspy the way it had been when she went to the hospital that time. She reached out and again almost lost her balance. “Cody, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Her words blurred with her tears, and the picture she made was horrific. A skinny, strung-out blonde, dirty clothes hanging off her, lunging for her son and trying to apologize for a lifetime of mistakes. A nightmare of drugs and addiction.
Cody didn’t want to cry in front of the officers, but seeing her this way, he couldn’t stop the tears from building in his eyes. Angry, frustrated tears—proof that the truth was sinking in. His mother had actually been caught dealing again. She would go back to prison, for sure, and this time it could be many years before she got out. Even if they did cut her a deal. And what about Benny Dirk? Exactly how dangerous was he?
“Can I go to her?” Cody looked back at the older officer.
“That’s fine. We’ll cuff her after you have a minute.” He motioned for the other two to give Cody a moment.
She was too drugged to stand by herself, so they waited until Cody was at her side. When he had support of her, they stepped away and suddenly Cody was thirteen again, watching TV and hearing a knock at the door, answering it to find police officers standing on the porch steps. He was panicking because this was his mother, and they couldn’t just take her away from him. Wasn’t that scene just like this one? Only back then he hadn’t understood what it meant to deal or why his mom had to go to jail.
He blinked and he could see the way he looked back then, screaming as the police took his mom, as they slapped handcuffs on her wrists, begging them to let her go and watching as they jerked her from the house and pulled her down the steps to a waiting police car. He was so young and he was falling to the floor, shouting for her to come back and pushing away the policeman who stayed and tried to help him. It had been the last time he saw her outside a prison until after he graduated from high school.
And now it was happening all over again.
He grasped her shoulders and looked down at her, into her wasted eyes. She was so small, not a hundred pounds if Cody had to guess. Clearly she hadn’t been eating these past few weeks, because she was emaciated—the way she always looked when the drugs took control of her. “Mom,” he whispered the word straight to her face. “Why? Why’d you do it?”
“I…needed money, Cody. I couldn’ ask you all the time.” Her words were still very slurred and tears poured from her eyes. But she was sober enough to at least try to explain herself.
But the explanation made Cody more angry.
“I would’ve given you anything. I would’ve sold whatever I had for you.” He hissed the words, because he couldn’t believe he was losing her again. She was the only family he had. And now this? “You could’ve lived with me.”
“I can’t.” She shook her head so hard she almost toppled to the ground. “Benny would hurt you, Cody.”
“Forget Benny.” He seethed at the mention of the guy.
“No,” she shook her head, frantic. “He’s a ba’ guy and…” she could barely focus, every word an effort. “I tol’ the cops on him, because he was gonna kill me tonight. And I don’t wanna die, Cody!” Tears splashed onto her cheeks and she sobbed out loud a few times. “I wanna be a momma to you.” She wailed, and the sound echoed loud and pathetic. “I’m so sorry! Be careful a’ Benny! He’s gonna kill us!”
She started to fall, and Cody worked to right her again. “Mom, you need help.” She wasn’t making sense. She’d agreed to testify against Benny, so she could be out of prison sooner. But now she was worried her testimony might get them killed? He kept his voice steady. “You can’t live
like this.”
“Don’t let them take me, Cody. I wanna be a good mom. I need another chance,” her voice grew louder, until she was shrieking. “One more chance, Cody. Tell them I need one more chance!”
He hung his head, still holding onto her, still keeping her from falling. “It’s too late.” The words were a cry, the only thing he could say. He shook his head and looked at the officers. “Thank you.”
They stepped in and Cody watched, his arms crossed tightly in front of him.
“Ma’am, we’ll need you to place your hands behind your back. We have to take you in.”
His mother writhed and jerked from the officers, the whole time her eyes fixed as best they could on Cody’s. “Please, Cody…don’t let them take me! I’ll do better. I’ll make it right. Please, Cody!”
He squeezed his eyes shut. God, I can’t take this. He remembered a Scripture from a sermon he’d heard a few weeks ago. The pastor told them God would never give them more than they could handle; He’d never lead them where He himself hadn’t first gone ahead. Cody gripped the corner of the wall, willing the sound of his mother’s screams to stop. I can’t take this, God…it’s more than I can bear. Please, be with me. Be with my mom. Get us through this, God…I need You. Please…
There was no audible answer, but then Cody wouldn’t have been able to hear it even if there were. He opened his eyes and saw that his mother was no longer struggling with the officers. She’d given in, and her wrists were now cuffed behind her back. But still her eyes were locked on his, and still she wept his name over and over again. “Cody…look out for Benny!” She glanced about, as if he might be coming through the front door any second. “Don’t let ’em take me. Please!”
But he had to let her go. The officers took her down the steps of the house, and the whole time—even though she could barely stand—she turned back, looking at him. “Cody…”