Single mom.
The term felt like gravel in her mouth. This wasn’t how she wanted to start out, and it wouldn’t be the perfect beginning for her son. But it was where her prayers had led her and so it had to be the right decision. It had to be. She tossed onto one side and turned onto the other, wrestling with her pillow and trying to feel sleepy enough to drift off. But she kept thinking about the words she’d only just now thought about for the first time. Single mom…Would she be strong enough? Would she be good at it? Could she ever make a living for her son without her parents’ help?
One question after another hit her, and with each she found a quick and easy answer. Of course she was strong enough; and she would definitely be good at it, because she would learn. Just like any other mother. But there was one question that plagued her long after she turned her light on again and read her Bible, and even after she finally felt tired enough to try to sleep once more. The question was this: If she was making the right decision, why all the anxiety?
Especially on a night when she should be feeling nothing but perfect, unsurpassed peace.
Fourteen
VETERAN’S DAY TURNED OUT TO BE the warmest in October, so Bailey’s family took up the offer when Coach Taylor called and invited them out for a day of boating on Lake Monroe. Bailey wasn’t sure if she’d stay all day, so she and Connor drove in her car behind her parents. The whole way she and Connor blared music from the Broadway musical, “Last Five Years”. Anything for a diversion from real life, at least for Bailey.
By now everyone had seen the tabloids.
She and Brandon in Starbucks, his arm around her. The two of them leaving the coffee shop and getting into her mother’s Suburban. Brandon Paul Falls for His Costar before Unlocked Starts Filming, the headlines screamed. Bailey was stunned. She and her parents met with Katy and Dayne hours after the magazines appeared in the grocery store. She was angry and afraid and unsure about whether she should pull out of doing Unlocked. Only after Katy and Dayne talked to her did she feel a little better. At least she had a game plan.
“If they don’t catch you two together, they won’t run stories about you.” Dayne’s voice was sympathetic. “Sometimes it can’t be avoided, I realize that. Especially when you’re starring in a film together.”
“We could talk for hours about that.” Katy had Sophie on her lap, and she and Dayne shared weary smiles. “The thing is,” Katy was more intense, not wanting Bailey to give up. “You have to stay away from him. Don’t give them even a little something to run in their rags.”
It was good advice, and now that Bailey knew, she would act differently tomorrow when filming began. Already Brandon was in town—staying with Katy and Dayne. Apparently part of his contract stated he had to stay in their guestroom during the shoot. They didn’t want him getting in any more trouble than he’d already been in over the last few months.
The crazy thing was, Bailey didn’t read tabloids. She didn’t have a clue about Brandon’s wild summer or the compromising situations photographers had captured him in for one magazine cover after another. If she’d known, she wouldn’t have acted so silly when they did their screen test. Never mind his charm. The only reason she would hang out with Brandon over the next six weeks, other than when they were working, was to tell him about Jesus—since she doubted anyone else ever had.
She turned the music up and rolled down her window. Already it was seventy degrees according to her car’s temperature gauge. The forecasters had said today’s heat could be record-breaking. It was a day when Cody should’ve been with them, the two of them taking this last day before the filming began to walk around the lake and pray and remember the magic of July Fourth. It was Veteran’s Day, after all…
But whatever was wrong with Cody, the situation between them was better than it had been. They were talking more, sharing their hearts over the phone even if they rarely saw each other. Bailey had asked about his mother, since it was her call that seemed to change everything. But though Cody easily talked about every other area of his life, when it came to his mother his answers were short and matter-of-fact. “She’s fine,” or “She’s in a Bible study,” or “She’s figuring things out.” Bailey leaned her head back against her seat and tried to imagine what was going on in Cody’s head. Was it her role in the movie? Because if that was it, then she’d pull out. She wouldn’t take the part if it meant losing Cody. The thought rumbled through her mind like a truck with a flat tire.
Acting was her dream, right? Her failure in New York had been redeemed by this opportunity. The movie wasn’t the problem…it couldn’t be. Cody cared about her. He loved her and he wouldn’t do anything to stop her from taking this part. Especially not when the film had such a great message and her role was so pivotal, so driven by faith. Cody would never ask her to choose between him or playing Ella in Unlocked. No, there had to be something else. Or maybe he really was completely absorbed with schoolwork. He was taking six classes this term, so maybe that was it. This was a busy season, and by Christmas, it would pass.
Bailey sighed, but the sound was absorbed by the refrains of the music. The trouble was, they missed each other like crazy. The way they were going, he felt a thousand miles away, like she was in love with a guy who lived halfway across the country.
They reached the lake minutes after the Taylor family, and Bailey determined to put Cody out of her mind. At least for today. She parked next to her parents’ car, and in no time the two families had unloaded their cars and were headed down the path to the boat docks.
Kari and Ryan Taylor were beautiful together, Bailey had almost forgotten how much so. They held hands, taking the lead as the group walked toward their boat. Trailing behind them were eleven-year-old Jessie—a little girl who was Kari’s miniature; eight-year-old RJ, who had a fishing pole slung over his shoulder; and on Ryan’s hip was their youngest, three-year-old Annie. Kari was the second oldest of John Baxter’s daughters. Later today, most of the Baxter family would meet here at the lake. Bailey loved times like these, when her family was included in the Baxter get-togethers.
Bailey’s parents walked close behind their friends and, as they boarded the Taylors’ boat and donned life jackets, Bailey listened to the latest Baxter family news. Apparently Dayne and Katy were thrilled to be making movies again, and though the paparazzi had already landed in Bloomington, this time they didn’t mind people taking their pictures.
“They’ve never been happier,” Kari laughed and held up her hands. “Like Dayne said, let them take pictures.”
Easy for Dayne to say, Bailey thought. But she kept her thoughts to herself and continued to listen.
“One sad bit of news,” Ryan wore his Clear Creek High baseball cap. He adjusted it as he set little Annie on the seat next to Kari. As he looked up, his expression was troubled. “We all had dinner at Ashley and Landon’s house last night.” He pursed his lips. “Luke and Reagan got a call from the adoption agency. Apparently the birthmother changed her mind. So the baby they thought was coming in a few months won’t be theirs, after all.”
“That’s so sad.” Bailey’s mom groaned. “They must be devastated.”
“They are.” Kari made sure Annie’s tiny life jacket was buckled securely. “They’d already told the kids and everything. Last night Tommy kept asking why everyone was so sad. He insists that his brother is coming in January, no matter what.”
Ryan started the boat’s engine and took the captain’s seat. “Of course next thing we know, Ashley’s Cole runs to a drawer in the kitchen and pulls out a rubber bracelet for Tommy. The one Cole wore every day for a year.”
“It says P.U.S.H.” Kari’s smile was marked by sadness. “Pray Until Something Happens. He told Tommy to keep praying, and God would make sure he got his brother.”
Bailey’s mom tilted her head, her face full of understanding. “Kids make it all sound so easy.”
Bailey’s mom and dad took the seats nearest Kari and Ryan. Once the engine was warmed up, Rya
n checked his passengers.
The boat was an Air Nautique, with room for fifteen passengers. Everyone was snug around the perimeter of the boat, and Bailey’s four younger brothers were seated up at the bow. “Everyone ready?” Ryan called out, grinning at the boys up front.
“Ready!” The kids shouted their response, and Bailey’s dad helped push the boat away from the dock. Ten minutes later they were flying across the center of the lake, the sun glistening off the water, the wind in their faces.
Bailey was glad she’d heard about Luke and Reagan’s troubles. Their story was a reminder for her to pray for them, and also that her troubles weren’t nearly that bad. If Cody needed time away from her, she would do her best to understand. She would work hard in her classes and do her absolute best when filming started tomorrow. She would pray for Brandon to give his life to God, and she would let Katy and Dayne coach her through the maze of quasicelebrity. By Thanksgiving the craziness would be over, and she and Cody could figure things out.
Until then she could only be thankful for times like this.
CODY SPOTTED THE RED HONDA as soon as he stepped out of his apartment on his way to the women’s prison. His heart jolted and he leaned back out of sight. It was him…Cody would’ve recognized his car anywhere. He breathed hard, his back pressed against the brick wall. Had Benny seen him? And if not, why was he here now? So much time had passed without seeing the guy, Cody had begun to wonder if maybe he had left town. He’d be crazy to stay in Bloomington, right? He was wanted, after all. Police had even reported that a car like his with similar license plates had been spotted in Illinois, so Cody had almost stopped looking.
He positioned himself so he could see a hint of the red car, but his heart was pounding so loud he could barely focus. In Iraq he would’ve known what to do, he would’ve been ready. But not here. He lifted his cell phone, but as he started pushing 9-1-1, the red Honda pulled back onto the road and headed his way. Cody had only a second or two, but he pushed back through the apartment door and slammed it shut just as the Honda drove slowly past.
The guy must be out of his mind, hunting him down, stalking him like this. Cody’s breaths came in raspy gasps and he leaned against the wall of his apartment. Suddenly he could see Iraqi soldiers coming at him from his kitchen, from the hallway that led to his room, from the corner of the living room. “Go!” he shouted. “Get out of here!” He blinked and the images disappeared. Sweat beaded up on his forehead and he doubled over, catching his breath. What was happening to him? Had he really seen Benny Dirk, or was the red Honda only an aberration like the soldiers in his apartment?
His hands shook, but he dialed the number the detective on the case had given him. “I saw him,” he kept his voice steady. His tone held none of the paranoia flirting with the boundaries of his sanity. “Benny Dirk was parked outside.”
“We had another report of him earlier today. Someone called in a man with his description casing the sidewalk outside your mother’s house.” The detective cursed under his breath. “We’re on it, Cody. We’ll get him.” The man paused. “Stay away from him. We think he gunned down a gas station attendant last night. He’s crazy mad. He doesn’t care what happens to him.”
Cody hung up the phone and steadied himself against the door frame of his apartment. He wasn’t going crazy, not completely. Benny Dirk really had been parked outside his apartment. So that meant he was doing the right thing, staying away from Bailey. Even if the distance was killing him. He cracked the door and peered out. The Honda was gone. Cody hurried down the steps and into his car.
His mother was waiting for him.
Cody watched his rearview mirror the whole drive to Indianapolis. When he reached the prison, he parked and walked toward the front gate. The pain of missing Bailey hurt so much he could barely walk upright. Maybe he needed a gun to protect himself. If the police didn’t catch Benny soon, that’s what he’d have to do. And what about the kids at Clear Creek High? Was he putting them in danger too? He didn’t think so. Benny Dirk hadn’t followed him to work—Cody had made sure of that.
He focused on the matter at hand. This was his third straight Saturday visiting his mom, making the commute to Indianapolis, and Cody knew the routine. He made his way past the first several guards, leaving his belongings with the last one, so that all he took into the waiting room were the clothes on his back. He glanced at a table full of tabloids and financial magazines.
He was about to look away when something caught his eye and he jerked forward, unable to believe what he was seeing. It couldn’t be her…he picked up the magazine and stared at the picture. She’d warned him about this, right? And sure enough, there she was taking up half the cover. His Bailey. Walking beside her, with his arm around her shoulders, was Brandon Paul. His face close to hers, the two of them grinning and sharing some secret moment.
The headline read: Brandon Paul Crushes on New Leading Lady—Get the Inside Scoop on Bailey Flanigan. Cody sat back slowly in the hard plastic chair and stared at the picture for a long time, reading the title over and over again. How could this be happening already? And what was he supposed to make of the picture? Brandon and Bailey had only been together for a few hours at the screen test, from what Bailey told him. How had the paparazzi caught them in a moment like this?
When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he opened the front cover and thumbed his way to the story. The layout was mostly pictures and a screaming headline—the same one from the cover. A brief story was tucked between three other photos of Bailey and Brandon. Clearly they’d gone to Starbucks together. The photographer must’ve caught them coming out of the coffee shop, and then done a little research on Bailey.
Cody read the story, his heart pounding. This wasn’t some smalltown girl who’d made it big. She was his best friend, the girl he would love as long as he lived. But here was this magazine telling the world all about her—details only people close to her should know. The article opened with the announcement that the search was over—a leading lady had been found to star opposite Brandon Paul in the highly anticipated movie, Unlocked. “Bailey Flanigan is exactly the type of girl to play Ella Reynolds,” the story explained. “Because for all intents and purposes, she is Ella.”
A few sentences down, the article went into Bailey’s past, how she was the only daughter of the respected Indianapolis Colts offensive coordinator, Jim Flanigan, and how she lived in a family with six kids, including three brothers adopted from Haiti. She attended church and, up until this film, had only had a brief speaking role, which happened to be in the other Jeremiah Productions film, The Last Letter, along with several performances in something called Christian Kids Theater.
“This girl is pure as they come. But not for long with Brandon Paul around.”
Cody felt sick to his stomach as he kept reading. “Bailey had her first taste of love with high school sweetheart Tim Reed—now an ensemble dancer in the Broadway cast of Wicked. But sources say she’s ripe for a love affair with America’s favorite movie star.”
Bailey hadn’t mentioned this part, and for a split second Cody thought about calling her, telling her to run as far and as fast as she could from Brandon Paul. But then, she was already aware of his reputation. Already she planned to never be caught in the same viewfinder as the guy. At least she had Katy Hart Matthews to help her through this craziness. Katy and Dayne.
He read through the story once more, and he realized something that hadn’t hit him the first time. Nowhere in the story did the reporter mention Cody. Of course not. He was some troubled kid who’d lived with Bailey’s family, a guy whose only family member was serving time for dealing drugs, and who was being hunted down by a deadly drug dealer. A guy whose only accomplishment to date was a stint in the Army. Even that hadn’t gone so well. He absently rubbed his hand over his prosthetic lower left leg.
“Cody Coleman?” A guard poked his head into the waiting room. “She can see you now.”
Cody’s legs felt heavy as he stood
and crossed the room. A month ago he never could’ve seen this happening, the way his life was playing out now. He forced himself down the hallway and into the small room where his mother sat at a cafeteriastyle round table. The room had one window and little else.
“You came.” She always started their visits this way. Her face shadowed with shame and remorse, her hand on the Bible he’d given her his first time here. It was a special edition with notes for addicts.
He took the seat opposite her, reached across the table, and folded his hands around hers. “I told you I would.”
“But this has to be hard.” Her lips trembled, and her stringy blonde hair was pulled back away from her face. The skin on her hands was dry and wrinkled, and her shoulders seemed permanently slumped, her chest concave. She looked like someone the world had run over and forgotten.
“It isn’t hard, Mama.”
She shook her head, her attention on the place where their hands were joined. “You’ve got football and Bailey, the Flanigan family.” Her eyes found his again. “You don’t need this, son. Really.” A thought seemed to occur to her. “What about Benny? Have they caught him?”
Cody pictured the red Honda parked outside his apartment. “They’re close.” He took the Bible and opened it to John. “How far are you in your reading?”
“Well…” a hint of hope sounded in her voice. “I like the Bible study, the one you found out about. For users.”
“Good.” This was one of the reasons he kept coming, to help her find a reason to believe in God, to believe in the plans He still had for her. “What’d you learn?”
“I learned,” she swallowed hard, and her fingers tightened around his. “I learned that I’m here because of my choices, and that…that I’m not a victim. I’m an addict.”