Brandon watched her go. He had hoped to find love with Bailey Flanigan, and maybe there was time for that somewhere in the future. But that sort of love didn’t matter as much now. He had found something so much more. He had found faith and forgiveness and redemption—forever and always, and into eternity. He had been on the brink of death, toes over the edge of a chasm of destruction, without peace, without hope, without meaning. But here…here he had found much more than love.
He had found life.
Twenty-Nine
FRESH SNOW FELL ACROSS BLOOMINGTON all afternoon on New Year’s Day, so Bailey had to wait until after ten o’clock the next morning before roads were clear enough to carry out her mission. That was okay. Bailey didn’t mind waiting. The plans she had for this day were all she could think about over the weekend. Even with Brandon’s amazing decision.
She had waited long enough to finally figure out what was happening with Cody Coleman. His actions made no sense at all. He was moving to Indianapolis to finish school? To take a coaching position an hour away from the one he already had? Most of all, there were the words he’d left her with Thanksgiving night: He wanted to protect her? He needed to move on?
Time hadn’t made his actions or words any clearer, so now she would do what she should’ve done back then. She’d drive to his mother’s house and find out for herself why Cody had—once again—shut her out of his life. She would knock on the door and then ask to come in. And she and Cody’s mother would sit face-to-face and talk about what happened. Surely his mother would know why he was leaving, what had caused the change in his heart.
Bailey spent the morning catching up on her reading for advanced literature. She kept the radio on in the background, and when they announced that roads were clear, she quickly got dressed for the day. Now she pulled a dark wool coat over her pale blue turtleneck and grabbed her car keys. She found her mom in the kitchen opening mail. A smile softened her face as Bailey walked up. “You look pretty.”
“Thanks.” She took a breath and felt her resolve double. “Today’s the day.”
Her mom didn’t have to ask. Bailey had shared last week that today she would probably head over to Cody’s mother’s house. “Will you call first?”
Bailey had wondered about that. This morning she’d even prayed about it. But she felt a peace about going over unannounced. She didn’t want a planned meeting, a prepared response from Mrs. Coleman. She wanted the truth, as honest and uncensored as possible. She smiled at her mom. “Not this time.” She shrugged. “Who knows, she might not even be home.”
“A snowy Sunday morning? unless she’s at church with Cody, she’s home.” Her mom stood and kissed her on the forehead. “Maybe after today you’ll have the answers you’re looking for.”
“Maybe.” Bailey smiled, but her heart felt heavy. So much time without a word from Cody had only served to make her miss him more. Even when she wanted to be angry at him for leaving.
In the next room, the boys were playing Wii Olympics again, and the cheery sound of their laughter filled the house. Ricky spotted her, and he bounded across the tile floor. “Hey,” he wrapped her in a bear hug. “Wanna build a snowman?”
“I’d love to.” She messed her fingers through his blond hair. “But not now. I have a meeting to get to.”
“Oh.” His face fell. He nodded toward his brothers. “Soon as BJ wins the Olympics we’re all going out. We’re making a snow fort and the tallest snowman ever. A Flanigan family record.”
“Hmmm.” Bailey could picture her brothers rolling the base of the snowman and struggling to get the midsection up onto it. One year they’d built a snowman ten feet high. He lasted a week after the snow melted. She angled her head, trying to curb Ricky’s disappointment. “Maybe build your snow fort first, and then I can help you break the record when I get back home.”
“Yeah! Good idea!” Ricky was almost as tall as her now, something she wasn’t used to. But at least he was well. With Ricky’s heart trouble and his asthma, none of them ever took his health for granted. “That’s what we’ll do.” He gave her another quick hug and ran back to watch BJ win the Olympics.
Their mom smiled over the exchange. “I love those boys.”
“Me too.” Bailey grabbed her purse and kissed her mom on the cheek. “Pray for me.” She blew at a wisp of her bangs as she took a few steps toward the hallway that led to the garage. “I have a feeling I’ll need it.”
She headed to her car, pulled out of the garage and took the drive across town slowly. The roads were clear, plowed, and passable. But there were still sections of ice and packed snow. Fifteen minutes later she turned into Cody’s mother’s neighborhood. She’d been here just once before—years ago, when she and her mom had brought a book to Cody’s mom after his capture in Iraq.
Now she was using information from her family’s address book and her GPS system to navigate her way. Finally she pulled up in front of a small house, old and weathered. The yard was covered in snow, like the other houses on the block, but even from the road Bailey could see the paint was peeling on the porch rail. Bailey glanced at the driveway and saw it was still buried beneath eight or ten inches, and there were no tracks leading down from the single-car garage.
She hadn’t gone anywhere, that much was sure. And Cody mustn’t be in town. Otherwise certainly he would’ve been by to help shovel her drive. Bailey parked, turned off her engine, and climbed out. A chilling wind took her breath, and she pulled the collar of her wool coat up around her neck and face. Next door, a man in his thirties was shoveling his driveway while two small children played nearby. He waved at her, and kept working.
Bailey breathed deep the warm air inside her coat. Please, God, be with me…this won’t be easy. As she trudged up the sidewalk, she was pierced by an unsettling thought. If Cody had moved to Indianapolis, who looked out for his mother? Throughout the holidays Bailey had been busy with parties and premieres, but what about reaching out to someone like Mrs. Coleman? Or maybe she was planning to move to Indianapolis too? Bailey squinted, against the glare from the snow, at the dark windows of the house. Who knew? Maybe she’d already moved.
Each step was an effort, so Bailey took her time. She wore boots, but still her feet were damp by the time she reached the front door. Please, Lord…I know You’re here with me. Give me the words…She knocked once, and then again louder. She waited, but all she could hear was the pounding of her heart. This time she rang the doorbell, but she didn’t hear it make a sound inside the house.
Again she knocked, still louder. She was waiting for a response, about to give up when she heard something behind her. The sound startled her, and she gasped lightly as she turned around. There, a few feet away and out of breath, was the neighbor from next door. He still had his shovel in his hand. “You looking for Cassie Coleman?”
“Yes.” Bailey noticed the man’s kids had stopped playing, and were now standing motionless, watching their father. “Is…is she home?”
“No.” The man’s brown eyes were kind. He bit his lip, clearly uncomfortable with whatever he was about to say. “She ain’t here. Been gone awhile now. A few months at least.”
What was this? Cody’s mom had moved too? That must be why Cody wanted to move to the city. “Indianapolis? Is that where she went?”
“No. Not that sorta move.” Again the man looked uneasy. He shifted in the snow and dug his shovel a few times into a nearby drift. “You a friend a’ hers?”
“Yes.” Bailey felt another wave of guilt at the way she so quickly identified herself as a friend. What had she ever done to help Cody’s mother or reach out to her? She swallowed, held out her gloved hand and shook his. “Bailey Flanigan. Nice to meet you.”
“Roger Denning. Been her neighbor for three years.”
“I’m actually a good friend of her son’s. I came to see about him.”
“Cody?” The man nodded. “Fine young man. I think his mama just about broke his heart.”
Broke his hea
rt? Bailey felt the blood begin to leave her face. “I’m sorry? I guess…I’m not sure I understand. It’s…it’s been a while since Cody and I have talked.”
“Oh.” The man’s face fell, and he stared at the snow around his boots. Finally he sighed and shook his head, glancing at the house and then back at Bailey. “She got herself back into drugs. Police took her away.” In the distance the man’s children began playing again, tossing snowballs at each other, and squealing with laughter. “She’s serving time in the city.” He motioned to his house. “My wife and I went by over the holidays. Paid her a visit. Saddest thing.”
Bailey’s heart was beating so hard she could barely hear the neighbor, hardly focus on what he was saying. Cody’s mother was in prison again? And he hadn’t told her? No wonder Cody was moving to Indianapolis. He wasn’t leaving his mother to fend for herself, he was following her, making sure he could be there for her. If she was in prison, then that’s what Cody meant…leaving so he could protect her reputation. Suddenly everything about his goodbye made sense. She blinked back tears and crossed her arms tightly around her waist. But there was no way to ward off the chill that had come over her. The man was going on, saying something about Cody being an upstanding young man, and how a weekend hadn’t gone by when he wasn’t there for his mama.
“We seen him when we was up there.” A shadow fell over the man’s face. “He looks different. Like he’s walking around with a broken heart.”
The news hit Bailey like the coldest winter wind, one that cut straight through her soul. And suddenly, standing there in the snow, she was absolutely sure this was why Cody had walked out of her life. His mother was back in prison, and he couldn’t find a way to tell Bailey, let alone continue his life in Bloomington. Another thought hit her all at once, and the realization nearly dropped her to her knees.
How come she hadn’t gone after Cody until now?
The Cody she knew never would’ve walked out of her life without an explanation. But she’d been so caught up in her own life she hadn’t thought to come here, to find out what was wrong with him…until now.
Fine friend she was.
The man looked back at his kids and freed his shovel from the snow. “I can probably get the address of the prison. It’s the only women’s prison in the city.”
“No…no, that’s okay. I’ll find it.” She walked carefully down the snowy steps. “Thanks for telling me. I…wouldn’t have known.”
“If you see her, tell her we’re praying for her.”
Again, Bailey felt the impact of her own selfishness. This would’ve been one of the hardest times in Cody’s life, and she hadn’t been there. The man waved once and returned to his work, and Bailey pushed back through the snow to her car. The bitter wind left her cheeks raw from the cold, but she barely noticed. She climbed into her car, drove around the corner out of sight, parked again, and hung her head.
The shock was wearing off, and the truth pressed in like walls closing around her. Cody’s mother was in prison again and she hadn’t been there to help him go through it. Tears flooded her eyes and she gripped the steering wheel. Never mind that Cody hadn’t told her. She couldn’t blame him. She’d been making a movie, the subject of paparazzi gossip and photo spreads. Of course he had kept his pain to himself.
Bailey looked up and yanked her gloves off her hands. She grabbed her phone and dialed her mom’s cell. Suddenly she wanted to get there before another hour passed. It was Sunday after all. Cody might even be there if she hurried. Her mom answered on the last ring.
“Sorry.” She sounded out of breath. “I was helping your dad take down the tree.”
“Mom…” she struggled to speak above the sorrow welling inside her. “Mrs. Coleman is in prison again. She got back into drugs.”
Her mom seemed less shocked than Bailey. She sighed, and sadness filled her voice. “I was afraid that might happen. How’s Cody?”
“I haven’t seen him. Her neighbor told me.” Bailey could hardly wait to get on the road again. “I want to see her. Will you come with me, please?”
There was lots to do today at the Flanigan house. Her dad would help take down the tree, then the kids would take a break from the snow and pitch in, boxing up the decorations that filled the house each Christmas. Bailey planned to be a part of it after her talk with Mrs. Coleman. But now…. Her mom barely hesitated. “Come home, honey. I’ll be ready.”
Bailey let her mom drive. She’d found the women’s prison online and put the address into her mom’s GPS. She told her mom what the neighbor had said, how Cody seemed deeply hurt by the situation with his mom.
“He should’ve told us.” Her mom kept her eyes on the road, but her tone was full of empathy for Cody. “We could’ve helped him. No one should have to go through that alone.”
“Exactly.” She was right. Cody never should’ve kept the situation a secret. But the guilt in Bailey’s heart was greater than before. She should’ve known something was wrong. She could’ve demanded he tell her, or she might’ve gone to his mother’s house sooner.
When they were on the freeway headed to the city, Bailey texted Cody. Are you there?
She waited, staring at the snow-covered countryside in the distance. Text me back, Cody. Come on…don’t do this to me.
“Anything?” Her mom glanced at her, hopeful.
“No.” She was grateful her mom was with her. If anyone understood her feelings for Cody, the impact this news had on her, it was her mom. “I think I’ll call him.”
She wasn’t sure what to say or how to act, but she had to hear his voice. She sent the call and waited. But after four rings his voice mail came on. She didn’t want to leave a message. If he wasn’t answering his phone, she’d wait and talk to him in person. If they had to drive through the whole city of Indianapolis to find him.
Her mom put a Brit Nicole CD into the changer, and skipped to a song they both loved. “Don’t Worry Now.” The music filled the car, and Bailey closed her eyes. She couldn’t worry about Cody or about how he would react when she saw him—if she would even find him at all. This trip wasn’t about Cody. It was about his mother. If nothing else came from the visit, Bailey wanted one thing clear from this point on.
She was sorry for not reaching out sooner.
But now…now she’d never let so much time go by without caring for the people in her life. And one of those people was Cody Coleman’s mother.
They reached the prison half an hour later, and as they pulled into the parking lot, as they studied the gray brick compound and the razor wire surrounding the snowy yard, Bailey was filled with despair. How would it feel to have her mother living here? Serving a sentence for drugs? She couldn’t imagine how Cody must feel, or how he could possibly be handling this. It didn’t matter that he’d been through this before with his mother.
Bailey sighed as they stepped out of the car. “Cody had so much hope for her.”
Her mom slipped her arm around Bailey’s shoulders. “God still does.” She narrowed her eyes and looked at the prison entrance ahead. “Sometimes it takes time in a place like this before we really hear God.”
Her answer soothed Bailey’s anxiety. Lord, give me peace…use us to encourage Mrs. Coleman today. Please, God.
They went through a series of rooms and visitor processes, and at one point her mom took her hand and the two of them quietly prayed. Then a uniformed deputy led them down a hall into a waiting room. “You’ll have ten minutes. After that you’ll return here and wait for someone to get you.”
From the waiting room, another deputy led them into a small visiting area. Someone had brought Mrs. Coleman there, and she was sitting at a simple round table. Her hands were shackled, and she wore an orange jumpsuit.
“Cassie,” Bailey’s mom took the lead. She hugged Mrs. Coleman for a long time, and afterwards Bailey did the same thing. They sat down and immediately Bailey saw something different in the woman’s eyes. She was thin and gaunt, the way she’d often looked in the
past. But her eyes shone with a new sort of truth and hope.
Bailey’s mom led the conversation, but quickly it was apparent Cassie Coleman had found a real and lasting faith since her sentencing.
“I’ll be here three years at least, shorter than my sentence since I’ll be testifying against…against a very bad guy.” She looked down at her bound hands for a long moment. When she looked up, the regret in her eyes was so strong it hurt to look at her. “I let myself down, but worse, I let Cody down.” She turned her sad eyes to Bailey. “Have you talked to him?”
“No, ma’am.” Her own regret doubled. “Not since…Thanksgiving.”
“Don’t be mad at him.” She spoke in soft tones, tears brimming in her eyes, pleading with Bailey. “He cares so much for you and your family.” She looked down again, too embarrassed to maintain eye contact. “I think he was ashamed.” She lifted her eyes. “Not about me, but about…about the situation. Like you good people didn’t need to be brought down by all this.”
Good people? Bailey felt sick at the thought, and a Bible verse from a CRu meeting at the beginning of fall came to mind. The words were from the book of Romans. There is not one who is good…all have turned away. She shook her head, her eyes locked on those of Cody’s mother. “No one is good, Mrs. Coleman. Only God. The rest of us can only try.”
“I’ll try the rest of my life. I’ve never needed God before this.” She wrung her hands together, her chin quivering. “Maybe just give Cody another chance, okay?”
Bailey wanted to ask if he’d been by today or if she were expecting him, but she didn’t want this visit to be about finding Cody. She wanted only to care, the way she should’ve cared sooner. The visit was over too quickly, and before they were ushered away Bailey and her mom put their hands on Mrs. Coleman’s shoulders and prayed with her. “I’ll come back again, okay?” Bailey covered the woman’s hand with her own. “And I’ll pray for you until then.”