"Strangers must withdraw."
"Division: clear the gallery. Withdraw."
"Nonsense; no; it's quite ridiculous; quite absurd. Some fellow mustget up. Send to the Carlton send to the Reform; send to Brookes's.Are your men ready? No; are your's? I am sure I can't say. What doesit mean? Most absurd! Are there many fellows in the library? Thesmoking-room is quite full. All our men are paired till half-pasteleven. It wants five minutes to the halfhour. What do you think ofTrenchard's speech? I don't care for ourselves; I am sorry for him. Wellthat is very charitable. Withdraw, withdraw; you must withdraw."
"Where are you going, Fitztheron?" said a Conservative whipling.
"I must go; I am paired till half-past eleven, and it wants someminutes, and my man is not here."
"Confound it!"
"How will it go?"
"Gad, I don't know."
"Fishy eh?"
"Deuced!" said the under-whip in an under-tone, pale and speaking behindhis teeth.
The division bell was still ringing; peers and diplomatists andstrangers were turned out; members came rushing in from library andsmoking-room; some desperate cabs just arrived in time to land theirpassengers in the waiting-room. The doors were locked.
The mysteries of the Lobby are only for the initiated. Three quartersof an hour after the division was called, the result was known to theexoteric world. Majority for Ministers thirty-seven! Never had theopposition made such a bad division, and this too on their trial ofstrength for the session. Everything went wrong. Lord Milford was awaywithout a pair. Mr Ormsby, who had paired with Mr Berners, never came,and let his man poll; for which he was infinitely accursed, particularlyby the expectant twelve hundred a-yearers, but not wanting anythinghimself, and having an income of forty thousand pounds paid quarterly,Mr Ormsby bore their reported indignation like a lamb.
There were several other similar or analogous mischances; thewhigs contrived to poll Lord Grubminster in a wheeled chair; he wasunconscious but had heard as much of the debate as a good many. ColonelFantomme on the other hand could not come to time; the mesmerist hadthrown him into a trance from which it was fated he should never awake:but the crash of the night was a speech made against the opposition byone of their own men, Mr Trenchard, who voted with the government.
"The rest may be accounted for," said Lady St Julians to Lady Delorainethe morning after; "it is simply vexatious; it was a surprise and willbe a lesson: but this affair of this Mr Trenchard--and they tell me thatWilliam Loraine was absolutely cheering him the whole time--what does itmean? Do you know the man?"
"I have heard Charles speak of him, and I think much in his favour,"said Lady Deloraine; "if he were here, he would tell us more about it.I wonder he does not come: he never misses looking in after a greatdivision and giving me all the news."
"Do you know, my dear friend," said Lady St Julians with an air of somesolemnity, "I am half meditating a great stroke? This is not a timefor trifling. It is all very well for these people to boast of theirdivision of last night, but it was a surprise, and as great to them asto us. I know there is dissension in the camp; ever since that Finalityspeech of Lord John, there has been a smouldering sedition. Mr Tadpoleknows all about it; he has liaisons with the frondeurs. This affair ofTrenchard may do us the greatest possible injury. When it comes to afair fight, the government have not more than twelve or so. If thisMr Trenchard and three or four others choose to make themselves ofimportance--you see? The danger is imminent, it must be met withdecision."
"And what do you propose doing?"
"Has he a wife?"
"I really do not know. I wish Charles would come, perhaps he could tellus."
"I have no doubt he has," said Lady St Julians. "One would have met him,somehow or other in the course of two years, if he had not been married.Well, married or unmarried, with his wife, or without his wife,--I shallsend him a card for Wednesday." And Lady St Julians paused, overwhelmedas it were by the commensurate vastness of her idea and her sacrifice.
"Do not you think it would be rather sudden?" said Lady Deloraine.
"What does that signify? He will understand it; he will have gained hisobject; and all will be right."
"But are you sure it is his object? We do not know the man."
"What else can be his object?" said Lady St Julians. "People get intoParliament to get on their aims are indefinite. If they have indulgedin hallucinations about place before they enter the House, they are soonfreed from such distempered fancies; they find they have no more talentthan other people, and if they had, they learn that power, patronage andpay are reserved for us and our friends. Well then like practical men,they look to some result, and they get it. They are asked out to dinnermore than they would be; they move rigmarole resolutions at nonsensicalpublic meetings; and they get invited with their women to assemblies attheir leader's where they see stars and blue ribbons, and above all, us,whom they little think in appearing on such occasions, make the greatestconceivable sacrifice. Well then, of course such people are entirely inone's power, if one only had time and inclination to notice them. Youcan do anything with them. Ask them to a ball, and they will give youtheir votes; invite them to dinner and if necessary they will rescindthem; but cultivate them, remember their wives at assemblies and calltheir daughters, if possible, by their right names; and they willnot only change their principles or desert their party for you; butsubscribe their fortunes if necessary and lay down their lives in yourservice."
"You paint them to the life, my dear Lady St Julians," said LadyDeloraine laughing; "but with such knowledge and such powers, why didyou not save our boroughs?"
"We had lost our heads, then, I must confess," said Lady St Julians."What with the dear King and the dear Duke, we really had broughtourselves to believe that we lived in the days of Versailles or nearly;and I must admit I think we had become a little too exclusive. Out ofthe cottage circle, there was really no world, and after all we werelost not by insulting the people but by snubbing the aristocracy."
The servant announced Lady Firebrace. "Oh! my dear Lady Deloraine. Oh!my dear Lady St Julians!" and she shook her head.
"You have no news, I suppose," said Lady St Julians.
"Only about that dreadful Mr Trenchard; you know the reason why heratted?"
"No, indeed," said Lady St Julians with a sigh.
"An invitation to Lansdowne House, for himself and his wife!"
"Oh! he is married then?"
"Yes; she is at the bottom of it all. Terms regularly settledbeforehand. I have a note here--all the facts." And Lady Firebracetwirled in her hand a bulletin from Mr Tadpole.
"Lansdowne House is destined to cross me," said Lady St Julians withbitterness.
"Well it is very provoking," said Lady Deloraine, "when you had made upyour mind to ask them for Wednesday."
"Yes, that alone is a sacrifice," said Lady St Julians.
"Talking over the division I suppose," said Egremont as he entered.
"Ah! Mr Egremont," said Lady St Julians. "What a hachis you made of it."
Lady Firebrace shook her head, as it were reproachfully.
"Charles," said Lady Deloraine, "we were talking of this Mr Trenchard.Did I not once hear you say you knew something of him?"
"Why, he is one of my intimate acquaintance."
"Heavens! what a man for a friend!" said Lady St Julians.
"Heavens!" echoed Lady Firebrace raising her hands.
"And why did you not present him to me, Charles," said Lady Deloraine.
"I did; at Lady Peel's."
"And why did you not ask him here?"
"I did several times; but he would not come."
"He is going to Lansdowne House, though," said Lady Firebrace.
"I suppose you wrote the leading article in the Standard which I havejust read," said Egremont smiling. "It announces in large type thesecret reasons of Mr Trenchard's vote."
"It is a fact," said Lady Firebrace.
"That Trenchard is going to Lansd
owne House to-night; very likely. Ihave met him at Lansdowne House half-a-dozen times. He is very intimatewith the family and lives in the same county."
"But his wife," said Lady Firebrace; "that's the point: he never couldget his wife there before."
"He has none," said Egremont very quietly.
"Then we may regain him," said Lady St Julians with energy. "You shallmake a little dinner to Greenwich, Mr Egremont, and I will sit next tohim."
"Fortunate Trenchard!" said Egremont. "But do you know I fear he ishardly worthy of his lot. He has a horror of fine ladies; and there isnothing in the world he more avoids than what you call society. Athome, as this morning when I breakfasted with him, or in a circle of hisintimates, he is the best company in the world; no one so well informed,fuller of rich humour, and more sincerely amiable. He is popular withall who know him--except Taper, Lady St Julians, and Tadpole, LadyFirebrace."
"Well, I think I will ask him still for Wednesday," said Lady StJulians; "and I will write him a little note. If society is not hisobject, what is?"
"Ay!" said Egremont, "there is a great question for you and LadyFirebrace to ponder over. This is a lesson for you fine ladies, whothink you can govern the world by what you call your social influences:asking people once or twice a-year to an inconvenient crowd in yourhouse; now haughtily smirking, and now impertinently staring, at them;and flattering yourselves all this time, that to have the occasionalprivilege of entering your saloons and the periodical experience ofyour insolent recognition, is to be a reward for great exertions, or ifnecessary an inducement to infamous tergiversation."
Book 4 Chapter 4