Book 4 Chapter 12
"It is all right," said Mr Tadpole. "They are out. Lord Melbourne hasbeen with the Queen and recommended her Majesty to send for the Duke,and the Duke has recommended her Majesty to send for Sir Robert."
"Are you sure?" said Mr Taper.
"I tell you Sir Robert is on his road to the palace at this moment; Isaw him pass, full-dressed."
"It is too much," said Mr Taper.
"Now what are we to do?" said Mr Tadpole.
"We must not dissolve," said Mr Taper. "We have no cry."
"As much cry as the other fellows," said Mr Tadpole; "but no one ofcourse would think of dissolution before the next registration. No, no;this is a very manageable Parliament, depend upon it. The malcontentradicals who have turned them out are not going to bring them in. Thatmakes us equal. Then we have an important section to work upon--theSneaks, the men who are afraid of a dissolution. I will be bound wemake a good working conservative majority of five-and-twenty out of thesneaks."
"With the Treasury patronage," said Mr Taper; "fear and favour combined.An impending dissolution, and all the places we refuse our own men, wemay count on the Sneaks."
"Then there are several religious men who have wanted an excuse for along time to rat," said Mr Tadpole. "We must get Sir Robert to make somekind of a religious move, and that will secure Sir Litany Lax and youngMr Salem."
"It will never do to throw over the Church Commission," said Mr Taper."Commissions and committees ought always to be supported."
"Besides it will frighten the saints," said Mr Tadpole. "If we could gethim to speak at Exeter Hall--were it only a slavery meeting--that woulddo."
"It is difficult," said Taper; "he must be pledged to nothing--not evento the right of search. Yet if we could get up something with a gooddeal of sentiment and no principle involved; referring only to the past,but with his practised powers touching the present. What do you think ofa monument to Wilberforce or a commemoration of Clarkson?"
"There is a good deal in that," said Mr Tadpole. "At present go aboutand keep our fellows in good humour. Whisper nothings that sound likesomething. But be discreet; do not let there be more than half a hundredfellows who believe they are going to be Under Secretaries of State. Andbe cautious about titles. If they push you, give a wink and pressyour finger to your lip. I must call here," continued Mr Tadpole as hestopped before the house of the Duke of Fitz-Aquitaine. "This gentlemanis my particular charge. I have been cooking him these three years. Ihad two notes from him yesterday, and can delay a visit no longer.The worst of it is, he expects that I shall bear him the non-officialannouncement of his being sent to Ireland, of which he has about asmuch chance as I have of being Governor-General of India. It must beconfessed ours is critical work sometimes, friend Taper; but nevermind--what we have to do to individuals Peel has to with a nation, andtherefore we ought not to complain."
The Duke of Fitz-Aquitaine wanted Ireland and Lord de Mowbray wantedthe Garter. Lord Marney, who wanted the Buckhounds, was convinced thatneither of his friends had the slightest chance of obtaining theirrespective objects, but believed that he had a very good one of securinghis own if he used them for his purpose, and persuaded them to combinetogether for the common good. So at his suggestion they had all mettogether at the duke's, and were in full conference on the present stateof affairs, while Tadpole and Taper were engaged in that interesting andinstructive conversation of which we have snatched a passage.
"You may depend upon it," said Lord Marney, "that nothing is to be doneby delicacy. It is not delicacy that rules the House of Lords. Whathas kept us silent for years? Threats; and threats used in the mostdownright manner. We were told that if we did not conform absolutelyand without appeal to the will and pleasure of one individual, the cardswould be thrown up. We gave in; the game has been played, and won. I amnot at all clear that it has been won by those tactics--but gained itis; and now what shall we do? In my opinion it is high time to get ridof the dictatorship. The new ruse now for the palace is to persuade herMajesty that Peel is the only man who can manage the House of Lords.Well, then it is exactly the time to make certain persons understandthat the House of Lords are not going to be tools any longer merely forother people. Rely upon it a bold united front at this moment would bea spoke in the wheel. We three form the nucleus; there are plenty togather round. I have written to Marisforde; he is quite ripe. LordHounslow will be here to-morrow. The thing is to be done; and if we arenot firm the grand conservative triumph will only end in securing thebest posts both at home and abroad for one too powerful family."
"Who had never been heard of in the time of my father," said the duke.
"Nor in the time of mine," said Lord de Mowbray.
"Royal and Norman blood like ours," said Lord Marney, "is not to bethrown over in that way."
It was just at this moment that a servant entered with a card, which theduke looking at said "It is Tadpole; shall we have him in? I dare say hewill tell us something." And notwithstanding the important character oftheir conference, political curiosity and perhaps some private feelingwhich not one of them cared to acknowledge, made them unanimously agreethat Mr Tadpole should be admitted.
"Lord Marney and Lord de Mowbray with the Duke of Fitz-Aquitaine,"thought Mr Tadpole, as he was ushered into the library and his eye,practised in machinations and prophetic in manoeuvres surveyed the threenobles. "This looks like business and perhaps means mischief. Very luckyI called!" With an honest smile he saluted them all.
"What news from the palace, Tadpole?" inquired the duke.
"Sir Robert is there," replied Tadpole.
"That's good news," exclaimed his grace, echoed by Lord de Mowbray, andbacked up with a faint bravo from Lord Marney.
Then arose a conversation in which all affected much interest respectingthe Jamaica debate; whether the whigs had originally intended to resign;whether it were Lord Melbourne or Lord John who had insisted on thestep; whether if postponed they could have tided over the session andso on. Tadpole, who was somewhat earnest in his talk, seemed to havepinned the Duke of Fitz-Aquitaine; Lord Marney who wanted to say a wordalone to Lord de Mowbray had dexterously drawn that personage aside onthe pretence of looking at a picture. Tadpole, who had a most frank andunsophisticated mien had an eye for every corner of a room, seized theopportunity for which he had been long cruising. "I don't pretend to bebehind the scenes, duke; but it was said to me to-day, 'Tadpole, if youdo chance to see the Duke of Fitz-Aquitaine you may say that positivelyLord Killcroppy will not go to Ireland.'"
A smile of satisfaction played over the handsome face of theduke--instantly suppressed lest it might excite suspicion and then witha friendly and very significant nod that intimated to Tadpole not todwell on the subject at the present moment, the duke with a ratheruninterested air recurred to the Jamaica debate, and soon after appealedon some domestic point to his son-in-law. This broke up the conversationbetween Lord de Mowbray and Lord Marney. Lord de Mowbray advancing wasmet accidentally on purpose by Mr Tadpole, who seemed anxious to pushforward to Lord Marney.
"You have heard of Lord Ribbonville?" said Tadpole in a suppressed tone.
"No; what?"
"Can't live the day out. How fortunate Sir Robert is! Two garters tobegin with!"
Tadpole had now succeeded in tackling Lord Marney alone; the other peerswere far out of ear-shot. "I don't pretend to be behind the scenes, myLord," said the honest gentleman in a peculiarly confidential tone, andwith a glance that spoke volumes of state secrecy; "but it was said tome to-day, 'Tadpole, if you do chance to meet Lord Marney, you may saythat positively Lord Rambrooke will not have the Buck-hounds.'"
"All I want," said Lord Marney, "is to see men of character about herMajesty. This is a domestic country, and the country expects that nonobleman should take household office whose private character is notinexpugnable. Now that fellow Rambrooke keeps a French woman. It is notmuch known, but it is a fact."
"Dreadful!" exclaimed Mr Tadpole. "I have no doubt
of it. But he has nochance of the Buck-hounds, you may rely on that. Private character isto be the basis of the new government. Since the Reform Act that isa qualification much more esteemed by the constituency than publicservices. We must go with the times, my Lord. A virtuous middle classshrink with horror from French actresses; and the Wesleyans--theWesleyans must be considered, Lord Marney."
"I always subscribe to them," said his Lordship.
"Ah!" said Mr Tadpole mysteriously, "I am glad to hear that. Nothing Ihave heard to-day has given me so much pleasure as those few words. Onemay hardly jest on such a subject," he added with a sanctimonious air;"but I think I may say"--and here he broke into a horse smile--"I thinkI may say that those subscriptions will not be without their fruit." Andwith a bow honest Tadpole disappeared, saying to himself as he left thehouse, "If you were ready to be conspirators when I entered the room, myLords, you were at least prepared to be traitors when I quitted it."
In the meantime Lord Marney in the best possible humour said to Lord deMowbray, "You are going to White's are you? If so take me."
"I am sorry, my dear Lord, but I have an appointment in the city. I havegot to go to the Temple, and I am already behind my time."