"Another week," exclaimed a gentleman in Downing Street on the 5thof August, 1842, "and we shall be prorogued. You can surely keep thecountry quiet for another week."
"I cannot answer for the public peace for another four-and-twentyhours," replied his companion.
"This business at Manchester must be stopped at once; you have a goodforce there?"
"Manchester is nothing; these are movements merely to distract. Theserious work is not now to be apprehended in the cotton towns. The stateof Staffordshire and Warwickshire is infinitely more menacing. Cheshireand Yorkshire alarm me. The accounts from Scotland are as bad as can be.And though I think the sufferings of '39 will keep Birmingham and theWelch collieries in check, we cannot venture to move any of our forcefrom those districts."
"You must summon a council for four o'clock. I have some deputations toreceive which I will throw over; but to Windsor I must go. Nothing hasyet occurred to render any notice of the state of the country necessaryin the speech from the Throne."
"Not yet," said his companion "but what will to-morrow bring forth?"
"After all it is only a turn-out. I cannot recast her Majesty's speechand bring in rebellion and closed mills, instead of loyalty and a goodharvest."
"It would be a bore. Well, we will see to-morrow;" and the colleagueleft the room.
"And now for these deputations," said the gentleman in Downing Street,"of all things in the world I dislike a deputation. I do not care howmuch I labour in the Closet or the house; that's real work; the machineis advanced. But receiving a deputation is like sham marching: animmense dust and no progress. To listen to their views! As if I didnot know what their views were before they stated them! And to put ona countenance of respectful candour while they are developing theirexploded or their impracticable systems. Were it not that at a practisedcrisis, I permit them to see conviction slowly stealing over myconscience, I believe the fellows would never stop. I cannot reallyreceive these deputations. I must leave them to Hoaxem," and thegentleman in Downing Street rang his bell.
"Well, Mr Hoaxem," resumed the gentleman in Downing Street as thatfaithful functionary entered, "there are some deputations I understand,to-day. You must receive them, as I am going to Windsor. What are they?"
"There are only two, sir, of moment. The rest I could easily manage."
"And these two?"
"In the first place, there is our friend Colonel Bosky, the members forthe county of Calfshire, and a deputation of tenant farmers."
"Pah!"
"These must be attended to. The members have made a strongrepresentation to me that they really cannot any longer vote withgovernment unless the Treasury assists them in satisfying theirconstituents."
"And what do they want?"
"Statement of grievances; high taxes and low prices; mild expostulationsand gentle hints that they have been thrown over by their friends;Polish corn, Holstein cattle, and British income tax."
"Well you know what to say," said the gentleman in Downing Street. "Tellthem generally that they are quite mistaken; prove to them particularlythat my only object has been to render protection more protective, bymaking it practical and divesting it of the surplusage of odium; thatno foreign corn can come in at fifty-five shillings; that there are notenough cattle in all Holstein to supply the parish of Pancras dailywith beef-steaks; and that as for the income tax, they will be amplycompensated for it by their diminished cost of living through the agencyof that very tariff of which they are so superficially complaining."
"Their diminished cost of living!" said Mr Hoaxem a little confused."Would not that assurance, I humbly suggest, clash a little with myprevious demonstration that we had arranged that no reduction of pricesshould take place?"
"Not at all; your previous demonstration is of course true, but at thesame time you must impress upon them the necessity of general views toform an opinion of particular instances. As for example a gentleman offive thousand pounds per annum pays to the income tax, which by the byealways call property tax, one hundred and fifty pounds a year. Well,I have materially reduced the duties on eight hundred articles. Theconsumption of each of those articles by an establishment of fivethousand pounds per annum cannot be less than one pound per article. Thereduction of price cannot be less than a moiety; therefore a savingof four hundred per annum; which placed against the deduction of theproperty tax leaves a clear increase of income of two hundred and fiftypounds per annum; by which you see that a property tax in fact increasesincome."
"I see," said Mr Hoaxem with an admiring glance. "And what am I to sayto the deputation of the manufacturers of Mowbray complaining of thegreat depression of trade, and the total want of remunerating profits?"
"You must say exactly the reverse," said the gentleman in DowningStreet. "Show them how much I have done to promote the revival of trade.First of all in making provisions cheaper; cutting off at one blow halfthe protection on corn, as for example at this moment under the oldlaw the duty on foreign wheat would have been twenty-seven shillingsa quarter; under the new law it is thirteen. To be sure no wheat couldcome in at either price, but that does not alter the principle. Thenas to live cattle, show how I have entirely opened the trade with thecontinent in live cattle. Enlarge upon this, the subject is speculativeand admits of expensive estimates. If there be any dissenters on thedeputation who having freed the negroes have no subject left for theirforeign sympathies, hint at the tortures of the bullfight and theimmense consideration to humanity that instead of being speared atSeville, the Andalusian Toro will probably in future be cut up atSmithfield. This cheapness of provisions will permit them to competewith the foreigner in all neutral markets, in time beat them in theirown. It is a complete compensation too for the property tax, whichimpress upon them is a great experiment and entirely for theirinterests. Ring the changes on great measures and great experiments tillit is time to go down and make a house. Your official duties of coursemust not be interfered with. They will take the hint. I have no doubtyou will get through the business very well, Mr Hoaxem, particularlyif you be 'frank and explicit;' that is the right line to take when youwish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others. Goodmorning!"
Book 6 Chapter 2