I almost smiled. Keirran had been like that, once. When I’d first met him. The prince of the Iron Realm had been chivalrous, soft-spoken and relentlessly polite even to his enemies. He was also stubborn, reckless and impossible, but at least he was civil about it, so it was hard to hold it against him. When I found out who he really was, I thought I would hate him. But my nephew had gone out of his way to treat me not only as family, but as a friend. And, shockingly, that’s what he had become. Once upon a time, not very long ago, Keirran had been my friend.
Nothing like the cold, emotionless stranger who’d shown up in Tir Na Nog that day, his eyes completely flat as he’d told the courts, his own family, that they were his enemies now.
“I knew something was wrong when she came back with that...thing...around her neck,” Leanansidhe continued, making my stomach twist. “Nasty bit of magic that was, darling. I don’t know where she got it, but I did know that I didn’t want it in my house. The wretched girl wouldn’t tell me where she got it, either, only that it connected her and the Iron Prince, and that she couldn’t take it off. I should have thrown her out then. But I let her stay, like the softhearted fool I am.”
“Where is Annwyl now?” asked Kenzie.
“The last time I saw the Summer girl,” Leanansidhe mused, “was a few nights after the Veil was torn away. She had been at the mansion when the Between disappeared. I don’t know how she survived, or what happened to all the exiles and half-breeds in the house when the Veil went down. I just know I came back from the mortal realm that night, and the Between was no longer there. When the Veil re-formed and I was able to go Between again, nothing was left of my mansion but the anchor. Everything and everyone else was gone.
“A few nights later,” Leanansidhe continued, “Annwyl came to me and announced that she was leaving. That something had happened with the prince, and she had to go before the amulet did anything else. Or something like that. I wasn’t really listening at the time.”
Kenzie blinked. “You didn’t care that Annwyl was leaving?”
“You’ll have to forgive me, darling. My home was gone, the Between no longer existed, and, to my mind, the girl had just told me she was partially responsible for its disappearance.” Leanansidhe’s eyes glittered as she twiddled her flute. “I wasn’t in the most reasonable mood at the time. She was lucky I was exhausted from renovating. Otherwise I might’ve decorated my office with Essence of Summer Girl.”
“What happened to her?”
The Exile Queen pursed her lips, blowing out a cloud of smoke that looked eerily like the Summer faery. The smoky image cringed back from some unseen terror, picked up her skirts and ran. “I told her to get out of my sight,” Leanansidhe said, watching it scamper away, “and that if I saw her again, I would separate her lovely head from her shoulders.”
She made a swift gesture with the cigarette flute, and the cloud faery’s head tumbled from her body before both parts writhed away into nothing. Kenzie wrinkled her nose. “So, no, darlings,” the Exile Queen finished. “I’m afraid I haven’t seen the Summer girl lately. Like I said, I’ve been busy reestablishing my home from nothing.”
“We have to find her,” Kenzie insisted. “We have to get that amulet before it’s too late. Did she say where she was going, what she was looking for?”
Leanansidhe sighed. “I have no idea what she’s looking for, darling,” she said. “But I do know where she went. Not that it will do you much good.” She sucked on the cigarette flute and puffed out a long stream of smoke that curled through the air like a lazy river. “The Summer girl has gone to the border of the wyldwood,” the Dark Muse intoned solemnly, “and past the River of Dreams. Beyond the territories of Summer and Winter, into the Deep Wyld.”
I felt a chill in the large, cozy room.
“The Deep Wyld?” Kenzie echoed, sounding intrigued. “What is that? Another region of the Nevernever?”
“Yeah,” I muttered, recalling the bits and pieces I’d picked up over the years about the Deep Wyld. Not much, but I did know that it was the deepest and darkest part of the Nevernever, a place into which the normal fey rarely ventured. No one knew much about the Deep Wyld, what it was like, what kinds of things lived out there. “Kind of like the wyldwood, but...bigger. It’s supposedly the oldest part of Faery.”
And probably the most dangerous.
“Exactly, darling,” Leanansidhe agreed. “The Deep Wyld is the vast, untamed wilderness of the Nevernever, beyond the courts and the wyldwood and anything familiar. Only the bravest or most desperate venture across the River of Dreams and into the Deep Wyld. And many that do attempt that crossing never return.”
“Really?” Of course, that news did nothing to deter Kenzie. Another region of Faery that was even more mysterious and dangerous than most? I could practically see her eyes sparkle at the thought. “But why would Annwyl go into the Deep Wyld?” she asked.
“Not a clue, my dove,” the Exile Queen said flippantly. “It is said that many ancient secrets and forbidden knowledge lie in the darkest regions of the Deep Wyld. If Annwyl is searching for something in particular, whether it be knowledge or power, that is not a bad place to look. However, tracking a Summer sidhe through the wyldwood is difficult enough. If they do not want to be found, it is nearly impossible to find them. Tracking a Summer sidhe through the Deep Wyld, which is vaster, darker and infinitely more dangerous, is another matter altogether. You cannot simply rush after the girl with no hint as to where you are headed, darlings. You are going to need some sort of guide.”
“We have Grimalkin,” Kenzie pointed out, glancing at the cat on the piano bench. His eyes were closed. “He can show us the way, right?”
Leanansidhe sniffed. “Contrary to what Grimalkin would have you believe, darling, he does not know everything about everything in the Nevernever. Shocking, I know. But if you are going to attempt to find the Summer girl all the way in the Deep Wyld, there is only one who will be able to help you. And I believe our darling Grimalkin knows exactly who I’m talking about.”
“You cannot be serious.” Grimalkin’s yellow eyes opened a crack and he glared disdainfully. “Summon him? To track a Summer faery through the Deep Wyld? I cannot say if he could even be bothered to respond to such a request.”
“He would come if you asked, darling.”
The cat flattened his ears. “I suppose if there is no other way,” he said in a disgusted voice. “Though someone is going to owe me a very large favor when this is over. But worry not, humans.” He gave me a slitted-eyed look of exasperation. “I will take care of everything, as usual.”
“There is,” Leanansidhe said, and the slightly evil smile was back on her face, “one more tiny little problem. You see, the Deep Wyld lies on the other side of the River of Dreams, which isn’t a short walk from here, darlings. It will take you many days of travel through the nastiest parts of the wyldwood to reach it. How do you intend to get there?”
“Walk, I suppose,” I muttered, though the thought of tramping through the wyldwood for days on end wasn’t pleasant. And I was all too aware that we were running out of time. “Unless someone can think of something better.”
“Well, I have a suggestion, darling.” The Exile Queen waved her hand, and the cigarette flute writhed away into tendrils of smoke. “I’m just starting to put my trods back together, and it just so happens that I have one working again. It leads into the wyldwood, to a spot very close to the River of Dreams. Still a day’s walk from the river, but it will get you to the border much faster than if you hiked there from here.”
Instantly suspicious, I crossed my arms. “Uh-huh. And what would the catch be? You’re certainly not going to let us use that trod out of the goodness of your heart.”
“Why, darling, what an awful idea. We can’t have rumors like that circling around, can we? Think of the damage to my reputation.” Leanansidhe chuckled
, as if the thought was ludicrous, and shook her head. “Besides, Ethan Chase, you and the prince have caused me no end of trouble. Some would argue that you owe me.”
“Fine.” I sighed. “I guess I’ll give you that.” I raised both arms in a shrug before letting them drop to my sides. “Let’s get it over with, then. What do you want?”
“Ethan, wait.” Kenzie edged forward and turned us away from the Exile Queen. Lowering her voice, she whispered, “Let me bargain with her. Leanansidhe isn’t mad at me, not like you and Keirran—the price might be lower if I deal with her.”
“No, Kenzie,” I murmured, and took her hand. “It’s my turn now. You’ve done so much already, made so many deals. I know you would do this without a second thought, but...I think it’s time for me to share some of that burden.”
“But you hate bargaining with the fey.”
“I know.” Tugging her forward, I slipped one arm around her waist, keeping my voice soft. “It’s not about me anymore. And I’m not going to be like Keirran and make deals that are too high, or promise something that will hurt others, especially you. But we do have to find Annwyl soon. And if bargaining with Leanansidhe will get us there faster, then I’m willing to do it. If the cost is something I can live with. Something we both can live with.”
“Okay.” She nodded slowly. “Just be careful, tough guy.”
“I will. And if you think I’m going to end up as a harp or something, just kick me.”
“I am not,” Leanansidhe said in an annoyed voice as we turned around, “going to turn you into a harp, Ethan Chase. One, I already have a substantial collection. Two, you would make a terrible harp, far too whiny and brooding. No elegance at all. But that is beside the point.” She straightened regally, staring down her nose at us. “Are you ready to hear my terms, darling?” she demanded. “Or should I not even bother wasting the breath, because we all know Ethan Chase does not bargain with faeries, and the price is going to be significant?”
I swallowed. Everything in me was telling me to refuse, but I forced myself to ask. “What’s the price?”
Leanansidhe smiled.
“One year,” the Dark Muse said in a low, eerie voice, “of your life, forfeited to me. All your ideas, all your dreams, fears, emotions, everything that you would have felt or experienced in those twelve months, will be mine.”
My insides turned themselves into a knot.
“One year?” Kenzie demanded behind me. “Just for using the trod? That’s a bit much, don’t you think? I gave you a month to get the Sight—why is it so high for Ethan?”
“Because, my darling,” Leanansidhe said, “and don’t take this the wrong way, but, you are not as important to the Nevernever as Ethan Chase. He is the Iron Queen’s brother. He is part of a prophecy. His blood ties him to all three courts of Faery. He is intricately bound to our world, and a life like his only happens once in a blue moon.” She shrugged. “Also, I’m still cranky about my Charles collection. Do you know how long it took me to gather all those humans? No, Ethan Chase.” She held up a finger. “One year of your life, no more, no less. Of course, you can still travel to the Deep Wyld via the normal route. It will only take you, oh...three weeks, Faery time? If you don’t run into trouble on the way.”
“A year of my life, huh?” I murmured. “And there’s nothing I can say or offer that would shorten that a bit?”
“Actually,” Leanansidhe purred, “there is.” Smiling, she regarded me over steepled fingers. “Your life is not the only one I am interested in. I’d be willing to split the cost with the other half who has caused me so much trouble. In fact, just for you, darling, I’ll let you completely off the hook...if you promise me a year of the prince’s life instead.”
Kenzie gasped. “Can you do that?” she blurted, staring at us wide-eyed. “Promise away a year of someone else’s life? Even if they don’t agree to it themselves?”
“Normally, I can’t, darling,” Leanansidhe said. “But this is a special case. You see—” she gestured in my direction “—Ethan and the prince are tied together by more than blood. They are two halves of a prophecy, and that makes them, and this situation, unique. Keirran has already taken Ethan’s life. Therefore, Ethan could tip the scales and take a portion of the prince’s life in return. If he wanted to.”
“But...Keirran is part fey,” Kenzie said, furrowing her brow as she tried to understand. “Technically, he’s immortal. How do you shorten the lifespan of something that can’t die?”
“All faeries can die, my darling,” Leanansidhe said. “They just don’t wither and die of old age like you mortals. But you are a clever girl to remember that.” She sounded begrudgingly impressed and annoyed at the same time. “I wouldn’t be shortening the prince’s life so much as taking a portion of it away. A year’s worth of dreams, emotions, glamour, happiness, everything that he would hold dear.”
“What would that do to him?” Kenzie asked.
“Who knows, dove?” Leanansidhe shrugged. “I’ve not made this type of bargain before, not with a faery recipient. All my dealings have been with mortals. Perhaps the prince will shrivel, become a shade of his former self for a while. Perhaps he will spend a year out of sorts, knowing something is missing, but unable to put his finger on what. It doesn’t really matter, though, does it? The Iron Prince is your enemy now, the enemy of all true fey. Who cares what this will do to him?” She turned back to me expectantly. “So, what say you, Ethan Chase? You can take your revenge on Keirran right here. Take your vengeance for his betrayal, for killing you, his own family member, to save the Forgotten.” At my hesitation, her voice became low and cajoling. “It’s only fair, wouldn’t you agree, darling?” she crooned. “‘An eye for an eye,’ isn’t that one of your human sayings? Don’t you think that Keirran should be punished for all the pain he’s caused?”
“Yeah, but...” I scrubbed a hand over my head, thinking. Truthfully, and I might’ve been a rotten human being for admitting it, the offer sounded pretty tempting. Keirran had hurt so many people. Not just me, but Kenzie, Meghan, Ash, Annwyl, my parents, Razor, Guro, everyone in the Mag Tuiredh, the list went on. And in siding with the Forgotten Queen, he was endangering a hell of a lot more. I wanted him to pay. I wanted him to know the consequences of his actions, and that I wasn’t just going to roll over and accept that he’d tried to kill me. I wasn’t okay with that, dammit. Just because he didn’t have a soul anymore didn’t mean I could excuse all the crap he’d put us through.
But...if I agreed, I wasn’t just hurting Keirran. I’d be hurting Meghan, too. And that was something Keirran never got or understood; his stupidly reckless actions didn’t affect only him as he’d once believed. He wasn’t just hurting himself, he was hurting everyone who cared for him.
And, even if I was pissed at the prince, even if he deserved it, Keirran’s life wasn’t mine to trade away. That would make me just like him.
“No,” I muttered, shaking my head. “No, Keirran is a bastard but...it’s not my place. I won’t do that to him, or Meghan.”
“Very well, darling.” Leanansidhe straightened, tossing her hair back. “It’s your choice, after all. But the price for using the trod still stands. A year of his life, or a year of yours. What’s it to be?”
I sighed, pushing down the fear, the savage twisting of my insides. “One year,” I said cautiously. “Exactly one. And this will be at the end of my normal lifespan? I won’t wake up as a vegetable when I’m thirty?”
“No, my dove.” The Exile Queen shook her head with a smile. “If nothing happens to you, you will live a long, normal human life. It will simply be one year shorter than when you are supposed to die. I cannot tell you when that will be, darling. No one can tell you that.”
“Kenzie.” I looked at my girlfriend, who was watching all of this in somber silence. Her arms were crossed, but she didn’t seem angry or like she wanted to
protest. She just looked grim.
I stepped close, putting my hands on her arms, lowering my voice. “If you don’t want me to do this,” I said, “I won’t. I’m willing to make the deal, but you have to be all right with it, too.” I wished I could’ve talked to my parents, but of course that wasn’t going to happen. “I don’t want to be like Keirran,” I said to her bewildered look. “Making bargains and promises without thinking of anyone else. And you...are the most important person in my life now, so...” I trailed off, as Kenzie’s eyes glimmered. “I want to be sure you’re okay with this,” I went on. “If you’re not, it’s all right. We’ll find another way—”
“Ethan.” Kenzie put a hand on my chest. Her eyes were still bright as she gazed up at me. “I’m not exactly okay with this, but...I’m certainly not one to tell you anything about making bargains with the fey. It would be super hypocritical of me to stop you now, even though I want to have you around as long as I can. But I know that’s not possible.” She held on to her smile even as a lump rose to my throat. “No one can live your life but you, and this is your choice, tough guy. Whatever you decide, you’ll always have my support.” She leaned up and kissed the corner of my mouth. “As long as you don’t get yourself turned into a hamster or something,” she whispered as she pulled back. “Then I might protest a little.”
“Kissy,” buzzed Razor from under her hair.
“Oh, please, turn him into a hamster already,” Grimalkin remarked from the piano. I ignored them all and kissed her.