world, to have some lessons; or at least get up a couple of dozen
phrases, and introduce them into your conversation here and there.
I suppose, sir, you speak it commonly at the office, Mr. What you
call it?" And Mr. Fizgig put his glass into his eye and looked at
me.
"We speak English, sir," says I, "knowing it better than French."
"Everybody has not had your opportunities," Miss Brough, continued
the gentleman. "Everybody has not VOYAGE like NOUS AUTRES, hey?
Mais que voulez-vous, my good sir? you must stick to your cursed
ledgers and things. What's the French for ledger, Miss Belinda?"
"How can you ask? Je n'en scais rien, I'm sure."
"You should learn, Miss Brough," said her father. "The daughter of
a British merchant need not be ashamed of the means by which her
father gets his bread. I'M not ashamed--I'm not proud. Those who
know John Brough, know that ten years ago he was a poor clerk like
my friend Titmarsh here, and is now worth half-a-million. Is there
any man in the House better listened to than John Brough? Is there
any duke in the land that can give a better dinner than John
Brough; or a larger fortune to his daughter than John Brough? Why,
sir, the humble person now speaking to you could buy out many a
German duke! But I'm not proud--no, no, not proud. There's my
daughter--look at her--when I die, she will be mistress of my
fortune; but am I proud? No! Let him who can win her, marry her,
that's what I say. Be it you, Mr. Fizgig, son of a peer of the
realm; or you, Bill Tidd. Be it a duke or a shoeblack, what do I
care, hey?--what do I care?"
"O-o-oh!" sighed the gent who went by the name of Bill Tidd: a
very pale young man, with a black riband round his neck instead of
a handkerchief, and his collars turned down like Lord Byron. He
was leaning against the mantelpiece, and with a pair of great green
eyes ogling Miss Brough with all his might.
"Oh, John--my dear John!" cried Mrs. Brough, seizing her husband's
hand and kissing it, "you are an angel, that you are!"
"Isabella, don't flatter me; I'm a MAN,--a plain downright citizen
of London, without a particle of pride, except in you and my
daughter here--my two Bells, as I call them! This is the way that
we live, Titmarsh my boy: ours is a happy, humble, Christian home,
and that's all. Isabella, leave go my hand!"
"Mamma, you mustn't do so before company; it's odious!" shrieked
Miss B.; and Mamma quietly let the hand fall, and heaved from her
ample bosom a great large sigh. I felt a liking for that simple
woman, and a respect for Brough too. He couldn't be a bad man,
whose wife loved him so.
Dinner was soon announced, and I had the honour of leading in Miss
B., who looked back rather angrily, I thought, at Captain Fizgig,
because that gentleman had offered his arm to Mrs. Brough. He sat
on the right of Mrs. Brough, and Miss flounced down on the seat
next to him, leaving me and Mr. Tidd to take our places at the
opposite side of the table.
At dinner there was turbot and soup first, and boiled turkey
afterwards of course. How is it that at all the great dinners they
have this perpetual boiled turkey? It was real turtle-soup: the
first time I had ever tasted it; and I remarked how Mrs. B., who
insisted on helping it, gave all the green lumps of fat to her
husband, and put several slices of the breast of the bird under the
body, until it came to his turn to be helped.
"I'm a plain man," says John, "and eat a plain dinner. I hate your
kickshaws, though I keep a French cook for those who are not of my
way of thinking. I'm no egotist, look you; I've no prejudices; and
Miss there has her bechamels and fallals according to her taste.
Captain, try the volly-vong."
We had plenty of champagne and old madeira with dinner, and great
silver tankards of porter, which those might take who chose.
Brough made especially a boast of drinking beer; and, when the
ladies retired, said, "Gentlemen, Tiggins will give you an
unlimited supply of wine: there's no stinting here;" and then laid
himself down in his easy-chair and fell asleep.
"He always does so," whispered Mr. Tidd to me.
"Get some of that yellow-sealed wine, Tiggins," says the Captain.
"That other claret we had yesterday is loaded, and disagrees with
me infernally!"
I must say I liked the yellow seal much better than Aunt Hoggarty's
Rosolio.
I soon found out what Mr. Tidd was, and what he was longing for.
"Isn't she a glorious creature?" says he to me.
"Who, sir?" says I.
"Miss Belinda, to be sure!" cried Tidd. "Did mortal ever look upon
eyes like hers, or view a more sylph-like figure?"
"She might have a little more flesh, Mr. Tidd," says the Captain,
"and a little less eyebrow. They look vicious, those scowling
eyebrows, in a girl. Qu'en dites-vous, Mr. Titmarsh, as Miss
Brough would say?"
"I think it remarkably good claret, sir," says I.
"Egad, you're the right sort of fellow!" says the Captain. "Volto
sciolto, eh? You respect our sleeping host yonder?"
"That I do, sir, as the first man in the city of London, and my
managing director."
"And so do I," says Tidd; "and this day fortnight, when I'm of age,
I'll prove my confidence too."
"As how?" says I.
"Why, sir, you must know that I come into--ahem--a considerable
property, sir, on the 14th of July, which my father made--in
business."
"Say at once he was a tailor, Tidd."
"He WAS a tailor, sir,--but what of that? I've had a University
education, and have the feelings of a gentleman; as much--ay,
perhaps, and more, than some members of an effete aristocracy."
"Tidd, don't be severe!" says the Captain, drinking a tenth glass.
"Well, Mr. Titmarsh, when of age I come into a considerable
property; and Mr. Brough has been so good as to say he can get me
twelve hundred a year for my twenty thousand pounds, and I have
promised to invest them."
"In the West Diddlesex, sir?" says I--"in our office?"
"No, in another company, of which Mr. Brough is director, and quite
as good a thing. Mr. Brough is a very old friend of my family,
sir, and he has taken a great liking to me; and he says that with
my talents I ought to get into Parliament; and then--and then!
after I have laid out my patrimony, I may look to MATRIMONY, you
see!"
"Oh, you designing dog!" said the Captain. "When I used to lick
you at school, who ever would have thought that I was thrashing a
sucking statesman?"
"Talk away, boys!" said Brough, waking out of his sleep; "I only
sleep with half an eye, and hear you all. Yes, you shall get into
Parliament, Tidd my man, or my name's not Brough! You shall have
six per cent. for your money, or never believe me! But as for my
daughter--ask HER, and not me. You, or the Captain, or Titmarsh,
may have her, if you can get her. All I ask in a son-in-law is,
 
; that he should be, as every one of you is, an honourable and high-
minded man!"
Tidd at this looked very knowing; and as our host sank off to sleep
again, pointed archly at his eyebrows, and wagged his head at the
Captain.
"Bah!" says the Captain. "I say what I think; and you may tell
Miss Brough if you like." And so presently this conversation
ended, and we were summoned in to coffee. After which the Captain
sang songs with Miss Brough; Tidd looked at her and said nothing; I
looked at prints, and Mrs. Brough sat knitting stockings for the
poor. The Captain was sneering openly at Miss Brough and her
affected ways and talk; but in spite of his bullying contemptuous
way I thought she seemed to have a great regard for him, and to
bear his scorn very meekly.
At twelve Captain Fizgig went off to his barracks at Knightsbridge,
and Tidd and I to our rooms. Next day being Sunday, a great bell
woke us at eight, and at nine we all assembled in the breakfast-
room, where Mr. Brough read prayers, a chapter, and made an
exhortation afterwards, to us and all the members of the household;
except the French cook, Monsieur Nontong-paw, whom I could see,
from my chair, walking about in the shrubberies in his white night-
cap, smoking a cigar.
Every morning on week-days, punctually at eight, Mr. Brough went
through the same ceremony, and had his family to prayers; but
though this man was a hypocrite, as I found afterwards, I'm not
going to laugh at the family prayers, or say he was a hypocrite
BECAUSE he had them. There are many bad and good men who don't go
through the ceremony at all; but I am sure the good men would be
the better for it, and am not called upon to settle the question
with respect to the bad ones; and therefore I have passed over a
great deal of the religious part of Mr. Brough's behaviour:
suffice it, that religion was always on his lips; that he went to
church thrice every Sunday, when he had not a party; and if he did
not talk religion with us when we were alone, had a great deal to
say upon the subject upon occasions, as I found one day when we had
a Quaker and Dissenter party to dine, and when his talk was as
grave as that of any minister present. Tidd was not there that
day,--for nothing could make him forsake his Byron riband or
refrain from wearing his collars turned down; so Tidd was sent with
the buggy to Astley's. "And hark ye, Titmarsh my boy," said he,
"leave your diamond pin upstairs: our friends to-day don't like
such gewgaws; and though for my part I am no enemy to harmless
ornaments, yet I would not shock the feelings of those who have
sterner opinions. You will see that my wife and Miss Brough
consult my wishes in this respect." And so they did,--for they
both came down to dinner in black gowns and tippets; whereas Miss
B. had commonly her dress half off her shoulders.
The Captain rode over several times to see us; and Miss Brough
seemed always delighted to see HIM. One day I met him as I was
walking out alone by the river, and we had a long talk together.
"Mr. Titmarsh," says he, "from what little I have seen of you, you
seem to be an honest straight-minded young fellow; and I want some
information that you can give. Tell me, in the first place, if you
will--and upon my honour it shall go no farther--about this
Insurance Company of yours? You are in the City, and see how
affairs are going on. Is your concern a stable one?"
"Sir," said I, "frankly then, and upon my honour too, I believe it
is. It has been set up only four years, it is true; but Mr. Brough
had a great name when it was established, and a vast connection.
Every clerk in the office has, to be sure, in a manner, paid for
his place, either by taking shares himself, or by his relations
taking them. I got mine because my mother, who is very poor,
devoted a small sum of money that came to us to the purchase of an
annuity for herself and a provision for me. The matter was debated
by the family and our attorneys, Messrs. Hodge and Smithers, who
are very well known in our part of the country; and it was agreed
on all hands that my mother could not do better with her money for
all of us than invest it in this way. Brough alone is worth half a
million of money, and his name is a host in itself. Nay, more: I
wrote the other day to an aunt of mine, who has a considerable sum
of money in loose cash, and who had consulted me as to the disposal
of it, to invest it in our office. Can I give you any better proof
of my opinion of its solvency?"
"Did Brough persuade you in any way?"
"Yes, he certainly spoke to me: but he very honestly told me his
motives, and tells them to us all as honestly. He says,
'Gentlemen, it is my object to increase the connection of the
office, as much as possible. I want to crush all the other offices
in London. Our terms are lower than any office, and we can bear to
have them lower, and a great business will come to us that way.
But we must work ourselves as well. Every single shareholder and
officer of the establishment must exert himself, and bring us
customers,--no matter for how little they are engaged--engage them:
that is the great point.' And accordingly our Director makes all
his friends and servants shareholders: his very lodge-porter
yonder is a shareholder; and he thus endeavours to fasten upon all
whom he comes near. I, for instance, have just been appointed over
the heads of our gents, to a much better place than I held. I am
asked down here, and entertained royally: and why? Because my
aunt has three thousand pounds which Mr. Brough wants her to invest
with us."
"That looks awkward, Mr. Titmarsh."
"Not a whit, sir: he makes no disguise of the matter. When the
question is settled one way or the other, I don't believe Mr.
Brough will take any further notice of me. But he wants me now.
This place happened to fall in just at the very moment when he had
need of me; and he hopes to gain over my family through me. He
told me as much as we drove down. 'You are a man of the world,
Titmarsh,' said he; 'you know that I don't give you this place
because you are an honest fellow, and write a good hand. If I had
a lesser bribe to offer you at the moment, I should only have given
you that; but I had no choice, and gave you what was in my power.'"
"That's fair enough; but what can make Brough so eager for such a
small sum as three thousand pounds?"
"If it had been ten, sir, he would have been not a bit more eager.
You don't know the city of London, and the passion which our great
men in the share-market have for increasing their connection. Mr.
Brough, sir, would canvass and wheedle a chimney-sweep in the way
of business. See, here is poor Tidd and his twenty thousand
pounds. Our Director has taken possession of him just in the same
way. He wants all the capital he can lay his hands on."
"Yes, and suppose he runs off with the capi
tal?"
"Mr. Brough, of the firm of Brough and Hoff, sir? Suppose the Bank
of England runs off! But here we are at the lodge-gate. Let's ask
Gates, another of Mr. Brough's victims." And we went in and spoke
to old Gates.
"Well, Mr. Gates," says I, beginning the matter cleverly, "you are
one of my masters, you know, at the West Diddlesex yonder?"
"Yees, sure," says old Gates, grinning. He was a retired servant,
with a large family come to him in his old age.
"May I ask you what your wages are, Mr. Gates, that you can lay by
so much money, and purchase shares in our Company?"
Gates told us his wages; and when we inquired whether they were
paid regularly, swore that his master was the kindest gentleman in
the world: that he had put two of his daughters into service, two
of his sons to charity schools, made one apprentice, and narrated a
hundred other benefits that he had received from the family. Mrs.
Brough clothed half the children; master gave them blankets and
coats in winter, and soup and meat all the year round. There never
was such a generous family, sure, since the world began.
"Well, sir," said I to the Captain, "does that satisfy you? Mr.
Brough gives to these people fifty times as much as he gains from
them; and yet he makes Mr. Gates take shares in our Company."
"Mr. Titmarsh," says the Captain, "you are an honest fellow; and I
confess your argument sounds well. Now tell me, do you know
anything about Miss Brough and her fortune?"
"Brough will leave her everything--or says so." But I suppose the
Captain saw some particular expression in my countenance, for he
laughed and said -
"I suppose, my dear fellow, you think she's dear at the price.
Well, I don't know that you are far wrong."
"Why, then, if I may make so bold, Captain Fizgig, are you always
at her heels?"
"Mr. Titmarsh," says the Captain, "I owe twenty thousand pounds;"
and he went back to the house directly, and proposed for her.
I thought this rather cruel and unprincipled conduct on the
gentleman's part; for he had been introduced to the family by Mr.
Tidd, with whom he had been at school, and had supplanted Tidd
entirely in the great heiress's affections. Brough stormed, and
actually swore at his daughter (as the Captain told me afterwards)
when he heard that the latter had accepted Mr. Fizgig; and at last,
seeing the Captain, made him give his word that the engagement
should be kept secret for a few months. And Captain F. only made a
confidant of me, and the mess, as he said: but this was after Tidd
had paid his twenty thousand pounds over to our governor, which he
did punctually when he came of age. The same day, too, he proposed
for the young lady, and I need not say was rejected. Presently the
Captain's engagement began to be whispered about: all his great
relations, the Duke of Doncaster, the Earl of Cinqbars, the Earl of
Crabs, &c. came and visited the Brough family; the Hon. Henry
Ringwood became a shareholder in our Company, and the Earl of Crabs
offered to be. Our shares rose to a premium; our Director, his
lady, and daughter were presented at Court; and the great West
Diddlesex Association bid fair to be the first Assurance Office in
the kingdom.
A very short time after my visit to Fulham, my dear aunt wrote to
me to say that she had consulted with her attorneys, Messrs. Hodge
and Smithers, who strongly recommended that she should invest the
sum as I advised. She had the sum invested, too, in my name,
paying me many compliments upon my honesty and talent; of which,
she said, Mr. Brough had given her the most flattering account.
And at the same time my aunt informed me that at her death the
shares should be my own. This gave me a great weight in the
Company, as you may imagine. At our next annual meeting, I