CHAPTER 4
She wandered in a misty forest. Her senses alerted her constantly that something was about to happen. She pushed aside dead branches with her hand while she felt her way through the forlorn woods. She felt something awful approaching her, but had no clear understanding of direction – just a pulsating, almost alive feel of imminent doom and terror looming around her. Fear leaped to her heart.
“Who am I”, she screamed at the mute trees, and somehow it was not her voice at all, just a scream echoing from all directions at once, but still she felt no surprise at the question at all. She felt that only the knowledge of her true self might save her from the fate she felt driven for. She looked at her hands, the hands of a stranger in the blue light of the woods, and even in the chilliness of the air she saw she was sweating all over in cold streams of salty water that made her hands slippery. She raised her gaze and looked about her, and suddenly there was nothing but blackness that fell over her as if a cloak was pulled over her head, extinguishing all the sounds and sights. Panicking, she drew her steel from its scabbard and lashed here and there at random until she felt she hit someone. She heard a scream and then felt nothing as her senses faded.
When she woke up she was still in the woods, still in this timeless place where there was no sound of nature but where the silence roared with a deafening toll. Then there was a signal of sound, a human voice in the unreal.
“Sister”, she heard someone yell. “Sister”. Frantically Amashanae looked everywhere around her, got up distressed and her heart beating, and when she located the direction of the voice, she started to run towards it through the dead leaves floating down the blue air among the trees.
“Sister” Amashanae ran and ran with her feet not even touching the ground, until suddenly she came to a vast clearing in the woods. There was little girl in the middle of it. “Sister”, the girl whispered. Amashanae ran for the girl.
“Am…I…your…sister?” Amashanae asked. “My name… your name…my sister?”
The little girl glared at her with small, brown round eyes.
“Sister?” she asked carefully in a small voice.
“My sister…” Amashanae answered, “My sister…Hashalia!” she shouted out the girl’s name that suddenly leaped from the depths of her mind. “Hashalia” she whispered again, closing her eyes just for an instant and imprinting and locking the name in her memory. When she opened them again, the little girl had changed into a figure of a beautiful woman with hollow, over-turned eyes, floating in front of her.
“You are my sister, Amashanae”, the woman whispered. “I am Hashalia. You have to find me… you have to… save me…” she said, now looming above her as a dream image.
Amashanae felt a little twinge of fear setting her on guard.
“I have to save you? From what?” she said, already feeling afraid of what the answer might be.
“You have to save me…”, the woman’s voice started to sound unstable and distant, “save me…for me…Hashalia…to…kill…kill YOU!”, her voice turned even lower and got strangely distorted as she started to change shape, “Kill!”, it screamed with an inhuman, hollow voice. Amashanae covered her face, kneeling back as if blown down with a mighty wind, and suddenly there was a black, horrid creature of hell standing in front of her. The beast was covered with a black flaky shell, sharp spines jutting from its skin impossibly here and there. It had eyes of a sickly shade of yellow and all the fires of hell seemed to be burning behind those eyes.
“What are you?” Amashanae screamed, holding her ground and grabbing her sword even though the world around her had taken a turn into something even more unreal, the clearing still there, but converging on itself, drawing everything into a pit as if a cauldron of black forming, a burning wind around them “Where is my sister?” she yelled defiantly as everything around her seemed to be sliding right into the very gates of hell.
“I am your sister!” the creature roared with a voice barely understandable as any human language, laughing, and its voice echoed everywhere in the hurricane that was reality now. Amashanae moved to attack, but there was no direction to move and lash out and the monster simply extended one of its dark claws, ripped straight through her chest and gored her heart out.
“Sister”, Amashanae still screamed, staring at her own death and feeling no pain, only a horrid feeling of loss and despair. “Sister!” The monster was now awash with her blood that poured out of her, but still she held her ground and her sword up high.
“Sister”, the monster roared, “Sister…” and its voice begun to fade away as Amashanae felt the power finally escaping her as she slid from this unreal world towards a total darkness where she knew, once she would have reached it, there would be but one word echoing everywhere;
“Hashalia”
Amashanae flinched awake. She had had a dream and she was oozing cold sweat even in the late afternoon heat of the desert. But everything seemed to be back in the right perspective and the sound of the desert wind and the rustle of the palm tree in it assured her of her location. She was just a little bit dazed.
“Are you alright?” Asaryen asked gently, kneeling on the sand beside her and a worried look on her face. “You seemed to have some sort of nightmare, for you were in convulsions and screaming all these weird things.”
“What things?” Amashanae asked.
“Well, something about sister …”
“Forget all you have heard. It was nothing.” Amashanae interrupted her before she could go on. She averted her eyes and shook away an ill feeling she suddenly had. “And yes, I am alright.” With that, she promptly turned away, got up and walked away sunk in her thoughts and dismissing her worried companion with a wave of hand as she went. It was not the first time she had seen that dream. She understood part of it – yes, she obviously had a sister named Hashalia, who apparently needed help. That is, if she were to trust her dreams. But then again, what else was there to go by for her? Who – or what – was that monster in the dream, and what did it want from her? She realized she had walked to the horses she had taken from the bandits, and walked to the one she had picked for herself. Its eyes followed her serenely, and as she walked to it the horse rested its head on her shoulder as if to console her and give her solace. I cannot speak with any of my kind, or a human…but you seem to understand me she thought, gently running her hands through the horse’s mane.
The blazing sun soon begun its descent from the deep blue desert sky and chillness prepared to elbow the hotness out even if the heat of the day still lingered in the air. Still, the warmth would quickly escape out of the porous rock and sand in the cold night winds. Amashanae realized she had slept almost the whole day. They had not exchanged a word the whole rest of the day, both in a state of delayed shock or desperation about their situation. Asaryen had kept to herself, not bothering Amashanae anymore. The suddenly cool evening wind felt quite divine on their skin, but the joy of this fresh breath of air after the furnace of the day was to be cut short, as the welcome chill would quickly change to cold. They had no means for making a fire with them, which rendered the possibility of a warm campfire only a distant dream. The evening dusk started to turn into a nautical darkness and then nocturnal blackness, darkness creeping in to assail them. Amashanae rested against a palm tree and closed her eyes. She realized she was badly dehydrated and again her mind started to wander. She felt no fear at the prospect of dying here, cold and dried out, but she knew there was nothing more for them to do.
Suddenly she noticed their horses had gotten nervous for some reason. She looked at her horse standing quietly a few paces away, and then tried to give a moment for her to relax before her senses suddenly burst alive with all the strength she had left in her weary body. Asaryen was again napping, almost unconscious, but Amashanae pricked up her ears and spoke out loud:
“Who ever there’s lurking in the shadows, break cover or meet your destiny – slowly” Asaryen snapped completely awake and looked at Amashanae, asto
nished, and looked frantically about to find out who was being addressed, because she could not see in the dark as well as Amashanae could.
“Who are you talking to?” she asked and kept turning her head around, agitated and nervous in the dark, trying to see something. Anything.
“I believe she means me”, a very definitely male voice answered from a bit further away, somewhere amidst the growing shadows. Both the women jumped up like lightning and Amashanae drew her blade, which felt very heavy in her weakened hands.
“Come up I said”, she prepared for fighting without knowing who she would be facing or whether there would be any fight left in her dried out body. Asaryen gave a sidelong glance to her voice’s direction and her hands explored the darkness as if she expected to stumble across someone. Amashanae stood with strained attention and she bettered her grip on the sword when a dark figure begun manifest from the darkness. It came closer and Amashanae identified it to be the same man who had interrupted her doing battle in the caravan camp before – and his face was still covered by a hood.
”Having a little trouble, are we?” the man spoke, apparently not posing any threat to women.
“Stop jawing and reveal yourself!” Amashanae hissed. The man started to laugh.
“But we have met, haven’t we”, he guffawed, “Don’t ye remember me?” He uncovered his face.
“You!” Amashanae shouted, surprised, but found her composure instantly. “Did I not wet your head with ale well enough at the inn?” she said in a sarcastic tone and Asaryen looked at her, surprised.
“Do you know him?” she asked. The man grinned when Amashanae answered to Asaryen.
“Yes. This jester tried to…approach me recently but I taught him some manners. And…then something else happened…well never mind!” She looked the man straight in his eyes with an angry stare.
“Now, get lost! You have no business with us!” she blurted furiously and raised her blade higher to show she really meant what she said. She stared the man down for a while. Finally he seemed to come to a decision:
“Very well”, the man said, turned around and made to leave, and then stopped in his tracks. He lifted his head a bit and remained in a pose as if waiting for a reaction. Had he faced the women they might have seen a smile on his face as he revealed his trump card like a true performance artist: “I wonder what I should do with all this water I have…”
Amashanae’s pupils dilated. All three of them stood in position, no one saying anything for a while. One could have cut the silence with a knife; the tension in the air was so tangible. Amashanae tried to struggle against her pride and found no other option than to flatly refuse.
“Never in the…” she started but Asaryen cut in.
“Please stay. We really need some water!” she said with an anxious voice. Amashanae looked at her, astonished by the sudden interruption. “We haven’t drunk a drop at all for over a day and we can already hear how the wasteland whispers a death for us”, Asaryen continued, “So please, share your water with us. Also, might you have, while we’re at it, any food with you?” The man turned back to them and gave an apologetic if crooked smile to Amashanae. Then he turned his attention to Asayren, who could not see his mocking expression in the shadows, and his eyes never left Amashanae’s gaze.
“Yes, I have plenty of food for ye and for yer horses. I even have a flint with me so we can rekindle that abandoned campfire.” Amashanae still stared at the man angrily and warily, but Asayren was already snatching the piece of stone from his hand when as he was finishing his sentence. “Well, it seems to be up to ye?” the man continued, still looking intently at Amashanae. Letting go, she closed her eyes and sighed, giving in to this unexpected salvation, even though she felt more than a little unsure of the situation.
“All right then, but only because I’m not here alone. And by morning you will be gone” she said. The man smiled but nodded in compliance, then slapped his palms together and whistled loudly as if calling someone.
“Some food and water coming right away”, he said merrily, enjoying his showmanship and the situation. “And…please, dear girl, do put that blade away already”, he pleaded with an expression that was more mockery than respect towards Amashanae.
“No girl to yee”, she quickly snapped back, only then realizing that she was still holding her blade. But the man did not seem to react to her comeback.
“Ye do have a fine looking piece of steel there”, the man said, clearly interested in the sword, staring at the engravings on its surface. But he had little time to do that.
“Not for your eyes”, Amashanae said and promptly slid the blade back to the scabbard on her back. “Hmph!” With that, Amashanae took a few paces back, still wary, but admitted herself to be grateful for water. Grudgingly she accepted that the mysterious man had probably saved them from a certain doom. She backed up close to the palm tree and waited patiently, watching the scene. Asaryen had the flint already in use, and she was enthusiastically attempting to coax a weak flame with some dry leaves to make a proper campfire, using the sparks from the flint to guide her hand in the darkness that had already totally engulfed them. The man just stood there, arms crossed across his chest and looked at Asaryen, amused by her efforts to light a fire. Then there was a soft rustle on the sand as horses appeared on the clearing. Amashanae stared at the darkness and saw only two horses with saddlebags. No riders.
“Where…” she started, but the man interrupted her.
“Here comes the water and the food”, he heralded mightily. Amashanae’s horse neighed, obviously sensing relief from its suffering in the arrival of its fellow creatures. After the horses stopped the man begun to dig into the saddlebacks and pulled out a large water skin. He heaved it to Amashanae, who reached out quickly and grabbed it greedily. She loosened the cork and lifted the water skin on her lips. Delicious water flowed out, dripping on her cheeks when she drank in deep gulps. It tasted like finest nectar and she felt how the dry taste of dust dissolved in her mouth. She closed her eyes and inhaled quickly between gulps, almost out of breath. It was like a piece of heaven was streaming inside her body, and it began to dawn on her that they indeed had avoided an almost certain death. She opened her eyes and flexed her sore neck muscles, afraid of getting cramps for drinking too much too quickly, and took the skin to Asaryen, who also caught it anxiously when she felt the soft, familiar shape in her hands, and emptied it, gulping greedily. Amashanae gave a frown to the man to let him know this had not made them the best of friends yet, but still she could not deny being quite grateful. But while Amashanae pondered whether he really was a friend or foe who still might at some inopportune time still stab their back, the man had already located some animal feed in his saddlebacks and was catering them to the horses, along with water.
“Animals will get through this easy”, he said, smiling, to explain his actions to Asayren, who had trouble seeing in the weak light of the campfire. “I’m giving them some water and something to feed on” Amashanae cast a suspecting look at the man, wondering if he really had that good a vision, or was he simply used to acting without seeing everything clearly. After he finished feeding the animals, he strolled to the campfire as if he was taking part on a merry camping trip and started to toss twigs and leaves into it, for a while paying no attention to the women who now sat by the palm trees, Amashanae watching and Asaryen with wide eyes looking at the fire. Then he spoke: “There’s quite a considerable assortment of food in the saddlebacks. Please help ye self”. Asaryen immediately bounced up like a hungry animal, groped her way to the nearest saddleback and started exploring its contents like a hungry packrat looking for treats. Whenever she found something of interest, she held it up against the light cast by the fire, trying to determine whether it was edible or not. She looked like a small child in her excitement, and the man watched her, amused.
“There is all kinds of stuff here!” she shouted out with wide eyes and an even wider smile, beaming in the dark and her voice full o
f laughter. “Apples, prunes…erm…this feels like pemmican…?” she listed while going through the contents. She nodded her head in the direction she just thought she saw Amashanae’s shadowy figure at. “Come and see for yourself!” she said and as if to verify her words and threw a bag full of prunes towards Amashanae. She grabbed it lazily in midair as she walked over to see what else the saddleback contained. Amashanae was still exceedingly distrustful. She was dead tired with always getting her trust betrayed and she wanted to start placing reliance in someone, if only just a little. I can trust no one she reminded herself when she started to root the saddleback. And surely the contents proved something to rejoice about. There were different kinds of fruits, some of sorts that Amashanae had never seen before, but nevertheless looked enticing. Several small packs of pemmican, prunes, dates and other dried delicacies. Mushroom and small parcels of different kind of herbs and spices, some mysterious oils, root crops and of course water. Having the ability to see in almost pitch black darkness Amashanae had no need to bring the food to the light of the campfire in order to see the contents.
“You surely have lots of food with you?” Amashanae asked questioningly but rhetorically in a low voice and pondered what the reason was for that. Was he by any change escaping from someone or something? She had not noticed the man had also approached the bags and was standing right behind her.
”Well, I get around a lot” the man said haltingly. “But please support yeself, ye are weak.” Amashanae felt a little uneasy and decided to keep her eyes on the man, who seemed to possess an uncanny ability to move without her noticing. She chose some pemmican from the saddleback and pushed it in her mouth, staring at the man. The meat was quite salty, but for a traveler suffering from such hunger it tasted divine. Her sense of taste flared into life when she gnawed on the pemmican and she twirled the dry meat in her mouth with her tongue while chewing it slowly. It was not wise to eat too quickly when one had a truly empty stomach. Asaryen bit her teeth in an apple and took little sips of water between bites. When the fruit was finished, she threw the core away, turned her head towards the man and looked at him from under eyebrows, a grateful expression on her face.
“You saved us”.
“It was no…” the man started had no time to finish the sentence when Asaryen jumped on him, throwing her hands around his neck to embrace him and – for Amashanae’s tremendous surprise – gave him a huge wet kiss. Amashanae’s jaw fell. How on earth can she trust him so easily? She does not know what he is like! The man’s eyes widened and he was obviously quite surprised himself.
“Hey!” he shouted, caught off guard, but repeated the word almost instantly in a much softer and alluring voice. “Hey…peach”. He looked into Asaryen’s e eyes for an instant and she looked into his, but then the man suddenly seemed to become aware of the situation and Amashanae’s disapproving stare, and he pushed Asaryen gently away.
“Um, I mean thanks.” Asaryen said, winking her eye for him and walked back to the saddlebacks. Amashanae stared as Asaryen begun rummaging through the bags once more. Asayren felt more than saw her reaction and gave her a kind of frown. “What?” she said and beamed innocently. “I wanted to thank him.”
“You are nothing but a silly little girl” Amashanae said, wondering if the girl was as innocent as she appeared to be after all, but Asaryen ignored her and kept searching the bags for more food. Amashanae looked at him for a second and stepped up to him, pointing her finger at the man. “She is just a naïve girl – do not you even dare to try to harass her…”
“Calm down, tiger lady” the man interrupted. “I am an honorable man. Today”. He voiced the last word so silently that he thought no one could hear it. “Besides, what do ye know about her anyway, knowing her for a full day or what?” But Amashanae just stepped close, stood up very near him, face right up to his face in defiance with the campfire casting its shadows on her cheek and revealing a blazing eye that stared at his eyes, and he almost lost his balance in surprise. She breathed deeply, holding her temper and her fists curled into tight knots but she managed to stay her hand, even though her thoughts raced back to the tavern and his drunken, evil demeanor. For a second they stood against each other like dogs about to fight while Asaryen kept looking for tidbits to chew on behind them. Then the man broke the silence: “I have to tend the fire”, he whispered to Amashanae, who made an odd, snorting sound, turned on her heels and dashed off to the nearest palm tree, drawing her steel and sinking it in the tree trunk inches deep. The tree wavered under the blow. She let out a scream in a strange language the other two did not understand. She was not used to not being able to decide what to do.
“Let her calm down” the man said to Asaryen, who peered into darkness, puzzled about Amashanae’s behavior and starting to walk towards her. Her lap was full of food and she stopped at his words, looked at the man questioningly, then looked at her loot and licked her lips, sat down next to the fire and begun to feast. Amashanae just stood there, stared at the sword jutting from the tree trunk for a while and calmed herself down. Then she yanked the blade from the wood, leaving a deep gash into the dry bark, and sat down with her back to the tree after she had sheathed the sword. With a blank expression she watched how Asaryen and the man ate and begun talking to each other, already like old friends. She kissed him. How could she be so innocent…or stupid, she thought. Maybe she was just jealous because she herself could not act like that? Amashanae dismissed the thought. Yet she had not killed the man, something had kept her back. Only she did not understand what. Maybe she was too harsh towards the girl after all. It was not exactly her fault that Amashanae had encountered so much trouble. Or maybe it was – she had not needed to save her from the bandits. Amashanae pondered what everything meant, feeling her thoughts beginning to wander as her tiredness was taking over her body. Maybe I’m too soft she thought, but then again the man and his boasting manners roused her anger. He is just trouble, she thought. But he saved our lives… that much is certain. She felt utterly alone and unsure of herself. So far her quest to find out more about her past and future had only revealed more complications and problems. The man seemed to be helpful, but he acted very gruffly. Trust no one, she thought. She could only hope that Asaryen would not become too attached to the man, because by the dawn he would better be gone his ways. Trust no one, she repeated in her mind like a mantra. That seemed the only thing she knew was safe and sure. To trust was to open a door for others to take advantage of her situation, or to invite them to kill her. For whatever the reasons, she did not know. But she knew that it would be better not to trust. She felt the dark cloak of sleep making its way in her mind and slowly she became aware of the cold rising from the desert now that the heat of the sun had evaporated from the sand into thin air. The amulet on her breast beckoned her hand, and she caressed its ancient surface once again.
Tahlthar, Tahlthar...shall I ever find thee? But the amulet gave no answer, and the reality around her invaded her thoughts with more pressing matters. It was not too warm here. She looked at the fire, felt its warmth even from the distance, and although she hated the thought of getting any nearer to the man, she decided she had to move closer.
Asaryen and the man were already deep in their conversation, keeping warm and chatting happily away – a little too familiar in her view. Amashanae sat down, clasped her legs and laid her sword in its sheath beside her on the sand. The two stopped talking and looked at her. She picked a prune from the bag Asaryen had placed next to the campfire and put it in her mouth.
“Well, are we abated now?” the man asked.
“Listen, you skunk…” Amashanae immediately started, put Asaryen cut in.
“Hey, don’t…besides, he has a name, Juara. And he is a warrior”, she said, seemingly taking pride in her newfound companion. “Juara saved us and you might show a little gratitude!”
On the other hand Amashanae understood Asaryen’s affection towards the man, but on the other hand she would have liked nothing
better than to send him packing. Still she decided to keep her feelings to herself for now. As if they had not noticed her disposition, she thought wryly.
“So, Juara, warrior, by which coincidence did you happen to find us?” she asked in a sarcastic tone. Juara laughed.
“I followed ye for a bit already and I noticed that ye might need a trifle help.”
“I sensed you long time ago”, Amashanae lied and wondered why was it her senses had not warned her at all. Perhaps that was the biggest reason she distrusted him immensely.
“But of course ye did”, Juara said, also quite sarcastically. “But tell me, Amashanae, how did ye escape from the trolls?”
“Trolls?” Asaryen turned her head towards Amashanae and looked at her interrogatively.
“Yes, trolls” Juara answered without turning his eyes from Amashanae’s. “I left the inn a bit of a nasty situation”. Amashanae stared back at Juara.
“If it had been up to me, I’d have gladly have let them feast on your corpse”, she said before answering the question: “I have my ways to avoid ending up troll fodder.”
Juara laughed, still looking fixedly at Amashanae, and explained to Asaryen:
“We had some problems with monsters lately. I was a little worried of ye friend here but she seems to be able to keep out of trouble pretty well.” Indeed, he had not forgotten the recent conflict. Why the trolls had attacked was still obscure to him, since it was indeed rare that the trolls attacked cities. Yet the worst part was that he had lost his newfound friend during the assault, and he hated having friendly people die around him. A lone warrior seldom makes friends – and friends willing to buy him drinks even less frequently. He spat into the fire, immersed in thought. The campfire snapped and popped when the fire devoured the dry wood and the chilly wind hissed quietly between the few trees surrounding them. For a long while everyone kept silent, staring at the fire, everyone perhaps remembering friends and relatives lost or missing, or in Amashanae’s case not even known. Even Asaryen, who seemed to possess a gift for talking constantly had become absorbed in her thoughts. Amashanae slid down on the sand, pulling a blanket under her and another one to cover her body. She did not have the energy to care about anything more for today. The food in her stomach made her feel heavy and she yawned deeply when a tired lassitude took over her muscles. She closed her eyes. The silent hum of the campfire reassured her senses and she begun to fall asleep. Instinctively she checked that she had her blade close at hand and hardly heard how Asaryen begun to speak again, as the blanket of sleep dimmed her senses.
“So Juara…why don’t you tell me about your kin” asked by Asaryen was the last thing her brain registered before she fell fast asleep.