Chapter 6
The Test
Before they could do the test, they first had to escape the theater without anyone seeing them. People were still crowded all around the theater--including by the hole where the giant spider escaped--and if they saw that there were two Superkids then, uh... well... the world's fabric would come apart at the seams! No, I'm not exaggerating! ...Okay, maybe I am, but still the consequences would likely be unpleasant. So each of them tried to come up with a plan.
"Maybe we could climb out the windows," Derrick suggested, looking at the walls.
"Theaters don't have windows," Superkid told him. "It's a way of controlling the lighting effect."
"Maybe we could have someone distract the crowd while we sneak away," Darrin proposed.
"What would be enough, though, to distract an entire crowd?" the clone pointed out.
Superkid had been musing at the giant hole for a while and now he suggested, "What if we disguised ourselves and snuck out?"
"Where are we going to get disguises?" the clone sneered at his original self.
Superkid shot him the evil eye. "This is a theater, so..."
The clone's own eye twitched. "All right, I get it."
Of course, they deliberated a little more, wondering if they had any better ideas. But eventually they decided that costumes was the best idea, so they all made their way to the basement--down the stairs rather than the hole. It was safer that way.
About five minutes later, they were clear of the crowd. Funnily enough, it wasn't costumes that got them through. They found a secret tunnel that led all the way to a delicatessen, which was actually still in business, if you can believe that. But because of the excitement that had been going on over by the old, abandoned theater, the customers and the employees were gone, giving the four boys a chance to sneak their way home.
When they were finally within a block of their homes--with all of Derrick's old ailments acting up again--Darrin suddenly stopped, prompting all of his friends--and the imposter--to stop as well.
"All right," said Darrin, "this is what me and Derrick decided: we're going to test you separately, so one of you will come with me to my house and the other one will go with Derrick to his house."
"I dibs Darrin," the clone immediately responded, shooting his hand into the air.
Superkid wheeled on him. "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, why do you get Darrin?"
Derrick didn't quite appreciate the way they were talking about him. He demanded, "What's wrong with me?"
"Yeah, what is wrong with him?" the clone challenged, smirking at our hero.
Our ever-sensitive defender of justice heaved out a sigh. "All right, I'll take Derrick; just don't trust him too much, Darrin; and Derrick..." he lowered his voice, "I hope you've got a foolproof plan of telling which of us is real."
Derrick grinned. "That's why we're going to ask you questions separately! Genius, huh? It was my idea."
"Seriously?" Superkid muttered, though very quietly.
Derrick first wanted Superkid to change into some regular clothes. Superkid had some misgivings about this idea.
"Wouldn't it just confuse you more about who the real Superkid is, even if you found out? I mean it wouldn't take very much for you to mix us up again."
"I already told you," Derrick said, jerking the clothes up and down in his hands impatiently, "we have a foolproof plan to tell you apart, so even if you were both wearing masks, we'd be able to tell which of you was the real Superkid."
Our hero frowned and shook his head. "Then why do I need to change?"
Derrick groaned. Then he hurled the clothes into his friend's face and snapped, "Just get those on!"
"Ow," Superkid said morosely behind the clothes before shutting the door.
A minute or two later, he emerged as a civilian, wearing a red shirt with green sleeves and holding his orange and yellow costume, which Derrick immediately snatched away and crammed into his already cluttered backpack, making Superkid cringe. Then he turned to his superhero pal and motioned him onto the bed.
"Sit," he ordered.
Superkid sat. Then he made a face as he realized what he was doing.
What am I doing? I'm letting Derrick boss me around like I'm some kind of dog! I don't have to...
"Pay attention to me!" Derrick barked.
The youthful vigilante sat up and gave his full attention to his friend-turned-boss.
Derrick grinned. It wasn't often that he got to boss people around. This was going to be fun.
"All right," he said as he began to pace with his hands behind his back and a serious expression on his face, "I'm going to ask you questions that only the real Superkid would know."
"Let's see what you've got," said Superkid with a resigned sigh.
"First question," Derrick held up a finger, "which of these is an evil villain? A. Captain Deadmeat... B. Roachman... or C. Doctor Red."
Superkid shook his head and groaned. "You're kidding me, right?"
"Answer the question!"
Superkid sighed. "It's C. Doctor Red. But the imposter would have known that since Doctor Red must have created him."
"Um..." Derrick blinked in surprise before he regained his composure. "You're right, of course, which is why I'm going to ask you this..." He resumed pacing before he suddenly spun to Superkid and gave him the fish-eye. "What is the evil Vampire's special power? A. To eat garbage... B. To talk really fast... or C. To suck energy from people and read their minds."
This time our hero groaned. "It's C. Ugh, Derrick! You're being too predictable! 'To eat garbage'? What kind of a choice is that?"
Derrick chose to ignore Superkid's jibe this time and instead stroked his imaginary goatee. "Hmmm... you're starting to sound convincing to me, but a few more questions to be sure."
And so it went. Derrick asked the super kid questions that could only have been answered by the real Superkid--at least, in theory--and some trick questions that should throw off the fake Superkid... if it turned out he was the fake.
"How old is your mom?"
"You know my mom's age?"
"Just answer the question."
"Forty-seven."
Derrick gave him a look. "Wow, she's old!"
Superkid gave him an exasperated look. "You just asked that to satisfy your curiosity, didn't you? Then again, if I was the fake, I could have just made up some random number."
"All right, fine! Next question... what year were you born?"
"1995, as I'm sure the fake Superkid knows."
"What's your favorite food?"
"You don't know that one, do you?"
"Who's your secret crush?"
"You're kidding me right?
As the questioning continued and Derrick kept coming up with less and less personal, only-the-real-Superkid-knows questions, our hero began to get frustrated. But the thing of it was Derrick's questions weren't meant to test the real Superkid at all. They were just a way for him to build up the suspense for the really BIG question... No, not for his hand in marriage, you smart alecks!
But finally after what seemed like hundreds of pointless questions that wouldn't have distinguished a harp from a hippo, Derrick popped it on him... NOT the marriage one! Seriously!
In a dramatic breath, Derrick asked, "What... is... your secret identity?"
At this question, Superkid balked. He gave Derrick his most perplexed look yet. "What are you doing?"
Derrick crossed his arms and frowned down at the kid hero imposingly. "Answer the question."
"But if I do, I'll change!"
"Exactly!" said Derrick with a finger raised in triumph. Then he gave a start. "Hang on. You know about your secret identity? Then that's undeniable proof that you're the real Superkid!"
"Actually, everyone knows my secret identity," Superkid pointed out. "It wouldn't have been very hard to research..."
"Then there's no choice!" Derrick interrupted grandly. "To discover if you're the real Superkid, I must find out if
you can change..."
Superkid blinked in surprise and nodded. "Actually, that does make sense."
"Of course it does!" Derrick interrupted grandly yet again and then he added, "Aaron."
Superkid convulsed, which threw him backwards onto the bed. He gave a short gasp of fright. Then slowly his eyes roved across the ceiling.
"Wait a minute," he said at last. "This isn't my room... this is Derrick's." He sat up and almost screamed out loud when he saw Derrick staring eagerly at him from the foot of the bed.
"Are you Aaron?"
"Oh no, Derrick," he said sarcastically, "I'm actually Santa Clause on break. This is just a disguise I'm using while I wait for Christmas."
"No, seriously," said Derrick, a little annoyed by his friend's insult, "are you Aaron?"
"Yes, I'm Aaron! What, you thought I'd have amnesia?"
"Maybe," snapped Derrick. Out of spite, he asked Aaron, "Do you remember how you got here?"
That shut Aaron up. He gazed around the room, his eyes growing wider with each second until he finally said in horror, "Actually, no. I don't remember! Oh no, it's happening again! I'm spazzing out again! Maybe we should call a doctor! Or my mom! Where's your phone? Where's Darrin?" He started to run toward Derrick's door.
"No!" Derrick dashed to the door and blocked Aaron's path. Aaron skidded to a stop and cried, "What are you doing?"
"Just stay here," Derrick told him. He jabbed his finger at Aaron and added sternly, "Don't move! I'll be back later so do not move!" He jabbed his finger one last time and then turned and hurried away, leaving Aaron trembling.
Derrick hurried but not to find help for Aaron. He was excited because he had the real Superkid and he wanted to tell Darrin. He hurried to the front door, yanked it open and ran smack dab into Darrin. Their heads bounced off of each other, leaving them both dizzy and tasting the unpleasantly metallic taste of blood.
"Ow! Geesh, Derrick! Why don't you watch where you're going?" Darrin snarled while rubbing his forehead.
"Why did you get in my way?" Derrick snapped back, shaking his head, which only made the dizziness and pain worse.
But a few seconds later, after their pounding headaches disappeared, Derrick got down to business. "So I did what we planned. I asked him a whole bunch of questions and he answered them all..." He left out the part that the questions were all pointless. "Then I dropped the big one on him... I said his name."
"And...?"
Derrick beamed. "He's the real Superkid. He changed into Aaron--the grumpy, big-word-using, scared-of-everything Aaron."
Darrin gave him a look. "You're sure?"
"Yeah, I even asked him some questions and there's no doubt it's him." He puffed out his chest. "So now all we have to do is tell the phony Superkid that he's been exposed and that he needs to leave..."
"But Derrick..." Darrin began.
"And if he doesn't, we'll get the real Superkid to kick him out..."
"Derrick..."
"Or wait! Maybe we'll just tell him it's the last test--to fight each other and the winner is the real Superkid!"
"Derrick..."
"But we know who the real Superkid is so we can help him out and show that fake Superkid who's bo..."
"DERRICK!"
Derrick jumped and then began digging his finger into his ear. "Owwwww..." he complained. "Did you have to yell?"
Darrin shook his head in exasperation. "Derrick, your plan didn't work."
Derrick froze with his finger still in his ear. He frowned at Darrin. "My plan didn't work?"
Darrin shook his head.
"What do you mean?"
"You said your Superkid turned into Aaron?"
Derrick nodded.
Darrin sighed. "Well, I did what you told me to. I asked him questions and then called him by his real name."
"And?"
Darrin heaved another sigh. "My Superkid turned to Aaron, too."